Urgently Needed - A Mommy Fix!!
Spring has been brutally slow to arrive to the mid-west this year, so any walks we might take will be awfully chilly. But for the first time ever I will be there on Mother's Weekend. That wasn't planned, just happened. Actually he was coming home this weekend and school plans got in the way. I am excited though because it means I will have greater access into the full scope of his life for the last four years. I still will only be there for today, but that is okay.
Most of the trip will be for me to get my mommy fix. I am sure at his age, he isn't so keen on it, but it makes me feel great! So I will tidy his place, fix him a fabulous meal of his choice, stock his fridge and simply bask in being mom! I love these weekends, my kids don't need me anymore, not in those aspects, but I love that they humor my need to nurture them a bit longer.
I will be taking some brotchen and brats - straight from Germany - for my German boy, for the most part he was not only born but raised there. And just like his sister I know he will savor those treats.
These days are slowly thinning out. Eventually they will mostly disappear, so I intend to enjoy each moment that is left. He will be pampered a bit today - whether he wants to be or not. It really isn't just for him, it is for me too. I need to know that my children still need their mom. I am okay with them growing up and living the lives I raised them to live, but I still need those mommy moments to fill my heart.
Sweet hubby will drive me both ways, so I can knit or stitch and not be alone with him worrying if I am okay until I return. He will fuss a bit about feeling left out, I understand, there are times I feel the same way when the twins are here. He will definitely get frustrated, saying we talk to softly. He isn't wrong, we do. Until 10 years ago my home was always quiet and hushed, my kids were raised that way and are still slightly quiet. Conversations are not always had loud enough for someone with failing hearing to understand. I have adjusted, the kids have not.It is not intentional.
He will find a reason to check the air conditioner, the plumbing, and of course the car. It's what we do. There might be a quick drive to make sure "the car is running good" and oh yeah to fill the gas tank since he'll notice it is a bit empty.
Before we leave we will take another picture, the same as all the ones we have taken for four years, I need them, they mark a journey, they show me the changes in my young man.
Driving home tonight will be bittersweet it always is, we will be joyful for the day, sad that it is over and brimming with pride that the little boy we watched mature has become such an amazing young man. At some point I am going to say I can't believe these trips are almost over, and I might shed a quick tear or two. Hubby will always ask me if I got my mommy fix, and I will grin like a silly kid and say yep!
And off we will drive, literally into the sunset, heading home southwest away from that little spot that my youngest currently calls home. I will try to capture a picture of two of the beautiful sunsets we always see on those vacant vast plains of Illinois. And each time I will curse the fact that my phone doesn't have a better camera, because it cannot come close to reality.
As I lay my head back on my pillow and snuggle my fur boy, I will reflect on the perfect day with my son. I always do. A prayer to the heavens to ask God to continue to protect him and my other children and I will drift off to sleep.
These days are dwindling, but so worth that six hours.