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Showing posts from August, 2016

"those" people...

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Not sure how it happened.  I called Hubs tonight on my way home from a meeting.  He was breathing rather heavily and my first thought was "oh no", in a slightly fear laced moment.  Seconds later it was an entirely different fear.

That turkey was working very hard on beating my step count!

Somehow we are morphing from people that come home, kick off our shoes and veg out.  To being quite competitve with each other. It's already bad enough that my short legs have to work twice as hard, and that his job is not a desk based job.  Those two things I cannot change.

But here he was getting in an extra 2000 steps while I was driving back and forth to work.

He is going to have to win this round.  I'm tired.

And over 16K steps is simply not bad. Especially when battling the sleep deficit of getting up in the middle of the night with the Neeko.

He and I had midnight med's last night.  Each time I see him I am even more amazed.  He still looked poofy and groggy last night,…

answered..

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Listening to the rythmic snoring in the house today, it's so hard to even remotely believe the last few days have even happened.

Gator is curled up on his favorite sofa in the fireplace room.  His snores are the loudest.  The Neeko is finally home, and despite all the work I put into insuring that the front living room was perfect for him to rest and recouperate, he is stretched out in the dining room in his favorite spot.

All I can say is thank goodness for Oxy Clean, because his incision is still leaking quite a bit. And as it's his tummy, there simply isn't a good way to keep that from happening.

Thursday night and most of yesterday were pretty darn stressful.  But that little furball is one tough cookie. He's not even 36 hours post surgery and he all put pulled me out of the vet's office. He'd had enough of their hospitality I guess.

Heck he even removed his own IV this morning.  I am sure that was quite a sight to see.  Determined little poop.

I have to …

waiting...

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Dinner is cooking.

I don't feel ike eating.

I am staring at my phone.

Waiting.

For some unknown reason Hubs felt the need to come home early.

I'm glad he did.  At least it gave our boy a fighting chance.

50/50

They were getting ready to take him to surgery when they asked us to leave.  I would have laid on that floor beside him for hours if I thought I could have provided him comfort.


He's the baby.  He's not even 10. Yet our sweet puppy boy is currently fighting for his life.

My heart is torn to shreds.  I am trying desperately to keep myself busy.  I feel strongly that I need to pace. Like that is going to make this better.

I wrote a check for more money than I have right now, pleading with them to save him.  Willing to give them every valuable I own. They will hold my check until payday. They will care for our baby.

We rushed him in.

Doctor Mike promised us that he would do his absolute best. I have faith in him.


But this waiting.

My mind keeps telling my heart …

one foot in front of the other...

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I'm taking a minute.  I need to catch my breath and cool down.

Although I am definitely cheering on the inside!  There is no one home to hear me cheer out loud.

I just got back in from my walk.  Half way around the final cul de sac my fitbit cheerfully told me that I had walked 2 miles.  That it took me 37.17 minutes and my average pace was 18.24.  That might not seem great to some.  But given my fibro and the fact that six weeks ago that not only wouldn't have happened, my stats then were 1.11 miles, 34.38 minutes and my pace was 31.20.  And I seriously wanted to die.

Fast forward today.  I am only a bit winded, drenched in sweat and the only thing keeping me from walking a bit further was the fact that I need to get ready for work and fix lunches.  I definitely see another walk in me today.  My faster pace is insuring that I don't hit my step goals doing what I had been doing.

I was feeling so cheerful as I headed out today.  First off the sky is bright and crisp, sc…

looking for happiness...

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There was a fabulous crispness to the air this morning!  A few random leaves have started to fall.  You can almost smell the end of summer.  Hubs and I walked the boys before the sun even came up.  It was clear, with a bright moon, and slightly cold.  Getting them home posed a serious challenge.  Both of them love the cooler weather and were more than happy to walk super slow to savor every moment.

Shortly after we managed to get them home, we headed to the park to walk.  He hadn't been there yet and I was excited to share the beauty of it with him.  He's in a bit of a funk and I was hoping all that beauty would energize him.  Maybe bring some joy back into his life.  I can't say the walk worked, he's still a bit down. But I sure did see him smile a few times, mostly at the pups being walked by their owners.

I understand what has him down, I completely get it!  I was there myself not too long ago.  I remember wanting to come home, fix an adult beverage and question wha…

change in the air...

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As my alarm jarred me awake at 4 am my exhausted groggy mind struggled to understand WHY I had not reset it last night when I came home from work at about 8 pm.  What in the world was I thinking or rather not thinking.  These six hour nights are kicking my bum. As I slowly awakened, Hubs trying to ease me awake as the BBC was chattering on about all the gloom and doom that seems to the mantra of the media, I remembered that Hubs had to be into work early today.  And our schedules haven't really allowed us to have much time together.   I wanted to see him, talk with him, have breakfast together....

It has been an incredibly emotionally involved few weeks.  Not so much physically draining.  And not even really draining at all.  More like all emotions, on all sides of the spectrum have been running at full force.

In the past three weeks I have seen people at their worst, people at their best.  I have found a higher level of respect for some and lost it for others.  I have comforted t…

counting my blessings...

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I am blessed.  I don't often stop to take time inventory of all the blessings I have.  I don't usually slow down enough to access the joy those blessings bring to me.

The past few weeks have been a whirlwind.  Like a tornado swirled through my world, stripping away so many things that were hiding and diminishing the joy, the blessings, the absolute beauty in it all.  I was struggling through a dark, dank ugliness.  I felt my heart couldn't find a way to brightness and joy again. There were many factors.  Many things were making me feel less than.

Many things have changed.  Some sad, some hurtful, some exciting, and many life affirming and blessings filled.

Despite all of the challenges and new beginnings, I have been blessed and re-energized by the last few days.

On Thursday morning, despite being exhausted from a far too short night I was heading south in my little Honda.  Buzzing down the beautiful hilly roads on my way to Potosi and Trout Lodge.  One of my favorite pla…

celebrating life...

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I love the sound and smell of a fresh pot of coffee brewing.  Morning almost does not feel right without it.

I hurried and let the boys our for a bit this morning, Hubs was still asleep when I got up and I don't always (read ever) enjoy walking them in the wee hours alone.  Especially when the sky is that inky black, the kind that doesn't even really illuminate the stars.

I ran out of sleep.  I hate when that happens. Although I have sort of power slept my way through the weekend so it is to be expected.  I had a few short nights, which my fit-bit is always eager to point out, and they simply caught up.  Not only did I get an 8 hour night, I also took a two hour nap, and was still sound asleep by 8 pm last night.  Exhaustion is mean.

But a 4 am wake up is not so fun either, especially on a Sunday. Sunday's are not supposed to be rush days. Sunday's are for lazy sleeping in, no alarms, rest and peacefulness.  My brain had different ideas.  So after the boys and I wander…

rest?

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I'm meltingggg... or at least it sure feels that way.  The temperature may only be 75, but I am fairly positive the humidity is well over 90%. Gross!

After coaxing the old guy out for a walk, I decided I would tackle my own walk.  I am determined to make it five times a week minimum.  Maybe that little challenge from my fit-bit is starting to get to me... Every week it reminds me that I didn't quite make it... better luck next week.  Digging into my brain.  Who needs a personal trainer when your electronic devices will scold you continually.  Better question is why am I listening to it!

Even though it was humid and damp out it was peaceful and I was even treated to a visit by three precious little fawns.  They even allowed me a few pictures.  They are fairly brave as they didn't even attempt to run back to where mom was hiding until I was a few feet away on the road.  One of our neighbors was attacked by a mom, so I made sure I kept my distance.  Zoom lenses are great!

Hu…

living an ordinary life...

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Today starts my fourth day off of work in a five day stretch.  It's been a break that has included deep thought and reflection.  Fun and game. Chores and rest.

We need to take the boys for their walk and get our own walk in.  Yesterday there was a light drizzling rain when we walked.  A splatter here and there.

This morning as there is an eerie red sunrise slightly illuminating the storm clouds lighting is flashing and thunder is rumbling.  It isn't a drizzle, its that heavy bone drenching kind of downpour.  I will walk if Hubs wants to, but it is not going to be a great experience.  I am leaning more towards going to the mall and walking there.

Although we still have to walk the boys.  Yep, Gator is going to love that! Not so much... He's currently curled up in bed, right where Daddy put him in the middle of the night when he wanted to cuddle mommy because of the storm.  He's 15, I don't think he is ever going to get over the trauma of being dumped in the streets…