hello friend...

I had a little visitor this morning while I was outside watering the treetop garden. He flew in and rested, watching me the entire time.  I felt blessed.  I love dragonflies, they fill my heart to overflowing.  I am so unbelievably thankful that my dear friend encouraged me to put in my garden, showing up with pepper and tomato plants she had started from seed.  My funk cleared and I went crazy. Our garden is bountiful so far this year, and seems to be handling this extreme patch quite well. 

As I watered I couldn't believe the growth, the abundance.  I am trying tomatillo's again this year.  They make the best salsa verde (my personal favorite).  I am concerned that once again I will have a beautifully flowering plant, with no yield.  It has grown enormous, covered in beautiful bright yellow flowers, of which not a single one has turned into fruit.  I fear I need to do more research, anyone have any tips - I'll gladly take them. 

It's been such a crazy couple of weeks and I am so far behind on everything.  I have spent far more hours in this heat than I have ever wanted to, and yesterday was by far the worst.  Its a long story for another time, lets just say there are a lot of people on this planet nowadays that are beyond ignorant and wrapped up in themselves. To top it all off the air conditioning in my little Subaru is not keeping up.  

We'd had problems with it when I first bought the car, took it back to the dealership (one I completely would not recommend - but again long story for another time) they worked on it and it's been okay for a few years now.  This was definitely not the time for it to fail.  Especially as I have been doing far more driving than I want to do. Toasty is an understatement. Next week we will worry about getting it looked at, I don't have anywhere to go today, and I am fairly certain I am taking advantage of that fact. 

Today feels like a day for inside, lots of water and rest.  My head is still hurting from the hours in the hot sun and my spirit is weary. I have things I should do, but feel that today will be hydration and knitting.  I might even finally quilt.  Or... and this is far more likely, my conscience is going to kick in and I will get busy on the to do list that has been shoved in the corner repeatedly over the past few weeks.  

Next weeks Hubs is taking vacation, he will be working solid over the following three weeks and will not be able to take our anniversary (23 years!  And they said it would never last) or my birthday off.  Which is our usual routine.  It feels like when we were newlyweds and his work ate up so much family/couple time.  

While he is on vacation we are going to take our little Belle back to see her surgeon.  She's still favoring her leg and it actually seems to be getting worse not better.  I'm praying that she is just fine and it's all part of the healing process, but her surgeon felt it was best to bring her in as she shouldn't be backsliding. Momma's little girl shouldn't be hurting at this point.  Time to investigate. 

I'm sure we will spend a few hours finally finishing up the truck (bumper is coming in on Monday) and then we will definitely find some time for play.  Maybe take our pups on a couple of adventures and possibly even a splash day.  I guess some of that will depend on the weather.  The heat is supposed to pass, but the rain is following it. We'll see, it might just be a great time to veg at home and get some serious relaxing in.  Staycations are pretty darn nice. 

I guess I'll go boil some water for another cup of coffee while I settle in and do something semi mindless for a bit.  I hope everyone is getting ready for an amazing Independence day, I would love to take in some fireworks, but not so sure that will happen.  The pups aren't fans of the noise and we don't risk Beau getting so stressed he has a seizure. We will celebrate just the same, but a bit quieter. 

Have a great day!  Stay cool!

much love, 

b

changes coming...

The sun hasn't quite cleared the trees here in the treetop garden.  I've been out off and on for hours.  It's beautiful as the temperatures start to drop, 52° is the perfect morning temperature for hot coffee and light sweatshirt and the sunrise. 

The pups and I have been enjoying the morning.  We had a buck come out of the trees to enjoy munching on some flowers and greenery, he brought two young does with him.  Watching them sit and enjoy the morning was so precious.  The birdbath was empty as I hadn't watered yet, so needless to say they didn't get the refreshing beverage they were hoping for.  I feel like a bit of failure, although I did not realize they were partaking of the water in the birdbath - heck I didn't know any creature paid attention to it.  It was here when we moved in and we just left it. It fills with the rain or when we water, but it's outside the fence line and we pretty much ignore it also. 

The sudden downturn in temperatures has caused both the sassafras and mulberry trees to start turning on their autumn colors. The bright red and the golden yellow are always the first sign of fall.  

I'm taking some time to enjoy the beauty, semi-planning my day and trying to not get dive bombed by our rambunctious hummingbird friends. The ruby-throated hummingbirds are back in town, which means they will all be leaving in a few weeks. I have definitely enjoyed my time with all of them this summer. 

Hubs isn't home today, so it's just me and the pups.  Truthfully, I don't engage much in keeping track of time these days, a Saturday could feel like a Wednesday for all I know.  And honestly I'm really okay with that. Telling time is truly a construct of man and the longer I don't follow along, the more useless it feels. 

I have a list of things I would like to do, I just don't know where to start.  I will probably load the freeze dryer with some of my precious herbs, I always wait too long to preserve them and then mourn the fact of would've/could've/didn't. The basil, rosemary and thyme are full and bushy, and with freeze drying it would be the same as using them fresh all winter.  I could also snip a branch or two of the lemon verbana and holy basil to use in teas.  

As I look around the garden I am realizing that I have quite a few jalapeno's, and we are a bit low on the pineapple cowboy candy.  Might pick up a pineapple and get some of that canned up.  The cooling temps are causing the tomatoes to finally ripen, the Marconi peppers are growing and getting big, and even the okra has decided it is happier with the mild temps.  

Somewhere on the list is a desire to try my hand at a non-toxic bug spray.  My beautiful citronella plants have gone crazy this year.  As I was researching it yesterday, I was stunned to find out you can also use it in baking and other cooking recipes.  I have to admit, I learned something new.

I also need to decide if I am going to run up to the store and get more chicken paws to dehydrate for the pups.  The collagen is so good for them, and they absolutely love them. Belle, Beau and Piper go nuts when that jar gets opened. 

Are they done yet Mom?  I can smell them

I'm finding it less and less enjoyable to go out and about, people seem to be changing. Compassion and empathy seem to be falling away. Or maybe it is me? It's not so bad when I go out with Hubs. I just don't feel good when I go out alone, it's so different. 

She has greater patience than brother...

I've also been doing more research on using my freeze dryer to further limit the stuff we buy premade and prepackaged.  I don't want chemicals in my food, I want real food.  I have a huge bag of beef bones that I picked up at the Pan-Asian Market.  I will probably throw those in the oven and roast them, and then make a big pot of beef broth.  After spending some time learning, I now know how to freeze dry that and then grind it into bullion.  

I mean soup season has arrived, I also have a new multi-grain bread recipe that I want to try out. I made a chicken mulligatawny soup for the first time the other day.  Hubs and I had been out for lunch and the restaurant had it on the menu, you know we had to try it, as neither of us had ever heard of it.  One thing led to another, and we will definitely be making it a staple of the soup rotation.  

I will probably spend a fair amount of the day up in my sewing studio, although I am tempted to haul it all out here in the sunshine.  I only have 3 more out of state quilts to piece before I start quilting all of them.  The next clue of my mystery quilt comes out tomorrow, so I need to get with it.  Remember I am easily distracted. 

I definitely don't understand anyone being bored.  Connecting back to the earth has been so healing for me. It fills my heart and spirit in ways I can't describe. Connecting back to life the way I feel it should be has been even more healing. Walking in the gardens, picking the beautiful zinnias that are starting to fade, enjoying watching the pups playing with the neighbor's pup through the fence.  Simply soaking up life. 

Who knows, I might just grab a book and sit out here in the sunshine and cool breeze all day, or my spinning wheel... or... yeah the list is fairly endless. For now, I'm going to enjoy my coffee, and watch my pups play.  

Being grateful for it all...

much love, b

follow your dreams...

Getting ready to toss my now dead yellow roses this morning, I experienced a serious flashback in time.  Not so much about roses, but about passions.  I was laughing as I told Hubs he might think I'm crazy, but the dead roses are staying, as I excitedly showed him the new growth that was bursting forth from the stems.  Feeling a sense of wonder as I added water to the vase.  On the window sill sits a zinnia that I accidentally cut while trimming the edges of the zinnia bed.  It's also not only rooted, but has bloomed twice with a third one getting ready to burst forth.  I should plant it in the ground, but I am enjoying it's journey so much that I am struggling with the idea of doing so. 

This morning as I added the water, I felt drawn back in time to my 19 year old self, trying to convince my dad that a degree in horticulture was a great idea.  As he was paying for the degree, I allowed myself to be convinced that a degree in computers/data something or other was a better idea.  Just for the record, I despised programming languages, I failed to find any beauty in the sterile quiet of a computer lab, and the clacking of keys did not fill my soul with music or joy.  I didn't make it. I finished the year, and refused to do it again.  I was beyond miserable in that kind of environment.

Over the years I dabbled in various different fields, I did actually work in fields that required more knowledge than I ever wanted in computers.  I guess being part of the first wave of kiddo's exposed to home computers was too much for my nature loving spirit. 

It's not even 8 am and I've already been outside, I've already wandered through my gardens, marveling at the beauty, harvesting the bounty, collecting the spent flowers to be able to plant next year.  Shortly, I plan to gather more plantain leaves to dehydrate, I want to always be sure to have that awesome "magic salve" waiting for use.  It's such an incredible to know that I have the knowledge and skill to make such a simple salve that heals so many things quickly and painlessly.  So much has been lost to time. 

Oops, Hubs mowed, gonna have to
wait a week. Can you see the
plantain hiding in there?

I should have stood my ground, I should have followed my own passions.  For so much of my life, I ceded the oars of my life to others.  I gave up the things that filled my heart, things I longed to experience to be able to fit molds that others created and tried to push me into. 

basil

My front flower beds have now burst forth full of random chaotic beauty. There is no rhyme nor reason to the chaos.  The celosias are bursting vibrant red, they are definitely going to make it interesting to come in and out of the front door.  Each year they self seed further and further.  This year they are joined by the self-seeded coleus plants that are bursting forth everywhere.  The deep purple centers surrounded by the vibrant bright green. It's completely chaotic and fills my very soul with beauty and joy.  

coleus

celosias

This morning while enjoying the beauty a tiny baby bunny came dashing out from beneath the shelter of the massive celosias.

I'm at a point in my life now, where I understand what brings me joy.  My sweet Hubs figured it out a long time ago. When I was too sick to actually garden, he somehow understood my deep connection to my fingers in the dirt, to coaxing life into barren spaces.  He built me a raised bed that was high enough I didn't have be kneel down, where I could stand or sit beside it and work to grow whatever my heart desired.  That year it was strawberries.  I've never really mastered them on a grand scale, mostly because between birds and grand daughters they never produced enough to seem worth it.  

Slowly as I healed and became stronger, he added more.  We didn't have much money back then, times were a bit tough, but bit by bit he added to them.  He helped me till the soil, carry the bags and bags of dirt that filled those boxes.  I don't remember how many there where when we moved.  I think there were 8 in addition to that first waist high box.  I grew so many things, I learned, I experienced the peace that can only be found in the early hours weeding in the dew.  Harvesting the dew covered fruits.  

As time went on I began working far too many hours to tend my garden, it slid into neglect and disrepair.  Every time I'd wander to the back yard, I'd feel the sorrow that came from being away from it.  From watching it die from lack.  Lack of attention, time, energy.  I was at a low point, working far too many hours, at a job I truly didn't love or even like most days.  Missing my connection to the earth. 

When we moved and I left those precious beds behind, I felt like I'd left a bit of my heart there too.  The yard had a lone tree in the back yard when I'd moved there. There was also one in the front.  It felt barren, sad. Like I felt at that time in my life.  When we moved there were 17 trees, in the back yard alone, a full garden, roses and passion flowers everywhere.  The front yard burst with the beautiful red maple, more roses (a massive bush from a sad $2 Walmart special bought years before), hydrangeas and that giant pine that had started as a 3" seedling to commemorate the first camping trip that my boy and I took with Hubs.  It was growing through cracks in the rock road, soon to be crushed by tires when we brought it home. 

Moving to our new home I went a few years without a true garden.  I was miserable, I worked at jobs that I was rapidly realizing were draining me, not fulfilling me at all.  My joy was random pots sitting on the deck with a few miscellaneous plants struggling to survive my work schedule.  

miniature zinnias

zinnia (isn't it gorgeous?)

Here we are 11 years later, the garden is my happy place.  Listening to the cicadas waking each morning is like a symphony.  Punctuated by the call of the birds to one another, my sweet little hummingbirds telling me good morning as the dart between the bright red feeders and flowers.  

still more zinnias

 and more zinnias

Hibiscus Okra - beautiful and delicious

Today I will make some cowboy candy with all of the jalapeno's I harvested, grown from tiny seedlings.  This year I added the flowers and the elderberry trees to our little backyard paradise.  Why did I wait so long.  Life needs beauty as well as function.  The flowers bring all of the pollinators to the yard.  My neighbor told me last night how much she enjoys the beauty of the flowers, that she sometimes sits and watches the butterflies and finches dancing through the literal piles of colorful unruly flowers. 

chocolate cherry tomatoes

might have a few more ready to pick

petunia that never found a home

this mornings bounty

cow peas close to harvest time

I understand her joy.  I understand the beauty.  Here in this last phase of my life, I finally understand following your passions.  I intend to enjoy every moment of the beauty.  To learn how to use the gifts from the earth to enhance life.  If my neighbors with their sterile green lawns want to live in a sea of poison to prevent those gifts, I will understand and support their choices.  Me... I'm going to have a lawn that is crazily diverse, filled with plants that offer more than simply their beauty.  I will treasure the frogs and skinks that move about the yard. I delight in the butterflies, moths, plethora of different bees, the birds that the others miss out on and the fireflies at night.  I will still be panicked when the big black snake makes it's appearance, while being thankful for it's contribution to the garden just the same. 

the protector of the flowers

the guardian of all she sees...

I wish that the 19 year old me had had the strength of conviction to follow through on her dreams.  I wish that she had been able to bravely speak life into those dreams.  A lifetime of patio gardens had to substitute.  Even now it's simply my treetop garden, but the joy is exponential. 

even in the fading, the life circle continues

Follow your dreams, learn the things that fill you with joy and once you start never stop... 

love and peace, b

new growth...

As the sun was topping the trees this morning, I was heading down the back stairs.  I wished that my phone camera was better, I would have loved to have captured a picture of the soft green haze peeking through the layer of straw.  It was absolutely beautiful.  I was heading down to check on the newest Elderberry tree and give all three of them a dose of fertilizer from the banana skins I had put in water. I love this time of year.  As I peeked around the fence I see the start of the zinnias and if they survive the first few weeks with all the deer and bunnies that part of my fence line should be beautiful! 

Yesterday morning, as I struggled through the fog of a very sleepless night, I checked on the radishes and realized that many were ready to harvest.  There are more to harvest today. I'm getting ready to plant more seeds so that we hopefully have at least one more harvest before the heat of summer.  We snacked on them throughout the day, savoring the sharp crispness that only comes from a fresh harvest.  These are the days I long to be able to move into the country, have a few acres to plant and harvest from, the days that I day dream like crazy, until I snap out of it. Sharply realizing that I do not have the energy to keep up with a couple of acres, that keeping up with pups, Hubs and a few raised boxes is more than enough. 

We picked up our new elderberry tree.  I am so excited to have it!  It's huge compared to my first year's that I planted in the fall.  Well, actually it's huge in general.  I was standing by it this morning as I gave it the banana fertilizer and realized it is already taller than I am.  Admittedly, I'm kind of short at 5'3", but the other two don't come to my knee yet. This is such a fun experience! After doing a bit of research into the variety they gave us, as I am so excited it is an American variety, although it is not a short variety, so I do hope I picked a good spot for it. I can't wait for the beautiful flowers of summer and the dark berries of autumn.

Ranch variety - will stay short

Bob Gordon variety
fairly short huge berries

hard to see with the trees in the back -
my newest one
Sambucus canadensis

The joy of a pickup!  They gave us the largest one.

Today will be a bit of catch up, yesterday was pretty much a blur.  I worked on the goat milk yogurt, yup... that was a fail.  I'm not sure the milk was fresh enough.  Maybe if I make it the day I bring it home it would be different, but neither of us cared for the taste or consistency.  Which is okay, because we love the cows milk yogurt. A quick dash to the store and I started another batch last night.  Discovering that with the timing, this might just be perfect, by 9:30 this morning it will be ready to be refrigerated to cool before draining.  By dinner time, it will be jarred and in the fridge.  I am still learning to time the different things I am working on. 

The other day I was weary, my muscles take a while to recover from hard activities and I had been pushing hard.  I simply didn't feel like climbing stairs or pushing the lawn mower (guess that will happen today).  

I have been staring at my spinning wheel a lot lately.  I've been mourning the lack of use, the fear I had that I might never use it again.  Struggling to have the courage to risk it.  The last time I seriously used it was before my knee replacement, the pain was unbelievable.  There have been moments off and on over the past few years that I have pulled it out, oiled it and tried.  All that trial and error did was frustrate me and create a mess.  I wasn't able to get the rhythm back that would create beautiful yarn.  Instead the tension was off, I had yards of over spun singles that were wrapping haphazardly around everything. 

All of this caused sadness and anxiety.  I have baskets of beautiful roving that have waited patiently for their turn to become a soft yarn.  I didn't know when or if I would ever try again.  As the day warmed and the pups and I decided it was time to stay inside and shut things down, I pulled it out again. 

The dust that swirled around me, was epic.  I was Disney bound!  That is what happens when you have two dogs that love the outdoors and no grass to speak of. At any rate, I was determined to get the rhythm back. A few false starts later and I was lost in the process.  So much so that three hours slid past.  If it hadn't been for the ache forming in my legs from the constant motion I would have probably finished up that entire skein of yarn.  It will probably happen today, after I catch up and the temperatures warm to a level I don't want to play in I will lose myself in creativity. 

I am also thinking of painting a few barn quilts to perk up the bland exterior in the backyard.  Not huge, although one on the front of the house would bring me joy, I am fairly positive my neighbors would welcome it with the same joy they welcomed the skeleton across the street. I am considering a few that are about 2x2 to hang on the gates and along the fence line where I didn't plant flowers.  Just enough that we could enjoy the beauty when we sit out on the lower patio in the evenings. 

Who knows... by now you've probably figured out that I have bigger dreams, plans and hopes than I possibly have hours in the day. 

Well, the heat is sneaking in, the yogurt has transferred to the fridge, so I need to get busy. We're heading to the mid 80's today, and I despise being hot.  I am never going to be a summer girl.  Which is why I get up early to garden and such. 

I hope today is filled with new and wonderful things.  I pray that everyone is finding their paths forward in these interesting times. 

love and prayers, b

coming home...

It is wonderful to travel, to be part of family events and enjoy your loved ones, even if it is a quick trip that only lasts a couple of nights. As I slid into my own comfy bed and pulled my weighted blanket up, just where I like it, I couldn't help but feel peace. Our trip to Arkansas was a fast one.  My baby sister is a care giver and needed to be able to get back and take care of her people.  It's all good.  At least we were able to celebrate with family for a moment. 

Sadly, families are often separated by great distances, time together is fleeting and often rare.  Each of us busy in our own bubbles, living our lives to the best of our abilities. For a moment as I was pondering where that thought would lead, I started to stay unlike in times past.  But truthfully, when you really think about it, families have always separated.  If they hadn't countries wouldn't have been discovered, migration would never have happened, shoot go back to the Bible, or further, folks have always been moving and changing.  It's simply life.

As I jumped back into the doings yesterday, it occurred to me that I have one month from tomorrow before my craft event.  I needed to stop being frozen by fear and really start working.  I dug around in the garage and pulled out the old fan blades, I still have a few that I need to strip the hardware off of so that I can clean, sand and paint them.  I have seven of them in progress at this moment.  Need to wrap those up first.  I simply ran out of counter space.  This morning I need to pull out the saw and do a bit of cutting, I am using up some old scraps of wood to make stems and hat brims.  

work in progress...

work in progress...

Waste not, want not.  

I also found myself stitching for a bit while watching a bit of television with my sweet hubs as we wrapped up the day.  Almost have another hat finished and ready to tag.  

It made me smile yesterday and today when my sweet hubs woke me with a cup of amazing coffee and asked if I was going to be working today.  He was being so supportive and sweet.  He knows that I work hard taking care of him, the pups and our suburban homestead.  It was his way of acknowledging my creative side, of supporting my dreams.  

Beau definitely disapproved of mom being gone

While I was in Arkansas, instead of relaxing and taking in a couple of movies and a few hours at the cigar lounge like he had planned, he spent his time making things easier for me. He cleaned up the cantry and added another set of shelves.  He rearranged the man cave and my work space to give me better access in a way that didn't cause me pain.  He cleaned up the entire house so I didn't have to worry about it when I got home. 

work room improvements

there is a middle shelf now

He started to put a light that he had gotten me into my sewing studio, as I had voiced a concern with how dark it was on the one side of the room. One step into the mayhem in there and he walked right back out, terrified of moving something, knowing that while it looks like a chaotic mess at the moment I know where everything I am working on is.  To be fair, I walked in yesterday morning because he was hoping to finish his honey do list and put it where it needed to go and even I turned around and said not today.  Sometimes, you have to honor your limits.  We both respected that. 

After all of that, he even got 11 clocks made for the event.  I am fairly positive he didn't get much rest in, I am equally positive that I appreciated all of that effort more than he could even imagine.  

I was catching up on the garden a bit yesterday and today, harvesting, cleaning, getting ready to plant a fall garden.  I think I am finally going to jump in and plant garlic.  It's been on the list forever, just never felt confident enough to try it.  Tomorrow I think I will harvest what is left of the potatoes, today was the green beans.  They are pretty much spent. All the rain of the past two weeks has definitely stressed some of the garden to the point that harvest season is just about over.  

We all know how sad it makes me to see the garden fading away each year.  Today I will slice up a few more of the masses of tomatoes and get them in the dehydrator.  We've discovered they are amazing as a veggie chip and that way there is no waste. I am also going to use the last of the green beans and add them to a mixture of veggies and make up a huge pot of veggie soup.  I'll can most of it, so that in the cold of winter we can remember the flavors of summer.  

I also harvested a fairly large amount of jalapeno's.  Not enough for cowboy candy, but definitely enough to make up a batch of jalapeno jelly.  And I am starting to run low on that.  The colors and flavors will pop, it will taste great and look so pretty.   

do you see him?

I don't know if you can see my little friend from the garden, this year has been full of surprises, including the baby copperhead snake I almost ran over while mowing last week.  This had to have been the biggest dragonfly I have ever encountered.  Easily the size of my palm. The green bean hanging beside him is over 5 inches long.  He was resting in my green beans as I reached in to harvest.  I'm not sure which of us was more startled. 

Belle deciding sitting on the humans
is okay...

Well, as much as I am enjoying sitting here being lazy, I am also deeply enjoying being back in my space working on all of my projects, taking care of our home and garden.  I love to travel, to visit, to savor the moments.  I equally love to come home again...