Showing posts from June, 2015

A living or a life?

Dinner is simmering... hopefully Hubs will enjoy it.

I am seriously debating on a glass of wine.

And it's not raining.  Note I said "not" because it's been a very damp summer. And it hasn't even officially started yet.  The weather channel is promising more rain as Tropical storm Bill is heading our way.  My boys are not enjoying the moisture.  And frankly, I am tired of trying to balance an umbrella and hold a leash and bags.  I have resorted to simply going with the soggy look.

Hubs is having a rough one, he pushed a bit too hard yesterday.  I know he's dedicated, and that he want's to accomplish as much as he can in the next 12 days.  But at what price?

I worry that he is causing more damage.  I worry that he can only handle so much pain.  I am terrified that he is going to push himself too hard.

And then I wonder... Do we spend too much time and energy focused on the wrong things? The new doctor won't say how long he will be out, his paperwork …

Washing away our troubles...

Rain, rain, rain... I would seriously be lying if I said that I didn't absolutely love a rainy summer day.  I guess it has a lot to do with being raised primarily in Germany.  Where the running joke was "quick take a picture before it disappears" whenever you had a fully sunny day.

It calms me, brings balance and serenity to my heart.

Looking out my kitchen window while prepping for Sunday dinner I am in absolute awe of the beauty. When you are in front of my house it is your normal suburban neighborhood cul de sac.  Tidy little homes with beautifully landscaped front lawns.  A group of people that care about how their homes are perceived, people that simply care.

Then you peak out the back window... its a deep, misty rain forest.  Towering trees, flowering ones mixed in. A steamy underside rising as the heat and rain mix.  The green is lush, multi-tone, dark pine greens tempered by the soft spring green of the aspens.  It's rich.  Enveloping, welcoming and forbid…

to do's...

Listening to the sound to the pressure washer on the siding makes me thankful today.  Hubs is out there trying to beat the heat and also taking advantage of the pain medicine that he's become so dependent on just for a semi-painless day.  Okay who am I kidding just to barely function.

We are both critically aware that we have three weekends to try to accomplish some of the items on our overwhelming to do list.  Too much of it requires both of us, and we are rapidly running out of time for that to happen.

We've been pushing things aside, trying so hard to wait it out.  We are almost at a full year in this beautiful home, and we still have boxes outside waiting to be emptied.  Furniture needing finished and we aren't even going to think about all the other odds and ends that need our attention.

Hubs is trying so hard to help me, and it's tearing at my heart.  I am thankful for the help.  I have desperately needed it.  My own stress level has been getting so out of wha…

Where there is love...

There is a bright blue sky outside, the moon was still bright white and high in the morning sky when we took the boys for a walk this morning.  It's incredible to be able to enjoy such a pleasant morning in June in the mid-west.  We aren't known for mild this time of year.  It's almost time for the heat and mugginess that we are particularly famous for to start moving in. 
Hubs and I have a busy weekend planned.  Lots to accomplish before the end of the month.  This time around, we know what is waiting for us.  This time around... well... we've got this.
We are getting ready to go down and move my long arm.  I didn't end up liking the original location.  Seems I have a bit of a problem with closed rooms without windows.  Hard to be creative when you are trying not to have a panic attack.  
After that, I have quite a few projects to work on.  Several are due to their future owners this coming week. 
I need this.  Hubs and I both need a bit of normalcy.  Its been out…

down this road we walk...

Sometimes... life is simply hard.

I feel like Hubs and I have been riding a roller coaster that is out of control.  It doesn't stop, it keeps accelerating up those steep hills, and just when it feels like we can catch our breath, celebrate a victory or two for just a minute...

The bottom falls out and swoosh we are plummeting free fall down into the next valley.   And it feels like a sharper drop each time.

Barely a month ago, it felt like we were literally on top of the world.  Dancing on the mountain tops surrounded by a blanket of stars.  Hubs was feeling better, it seemed like the shot in his back might really be working. Great things were happening for me at work. Years of hard work, dedication and persistence had finally started to pay off.  Hubs was back at work.  And even though the air conditioner was having a personality meltdown and we were so busy we didn't have time to fix it, mother nature was being gentle and kind to us. My knee was feeling stronger.

So many vic…