the details...

Well, did everyone survive "black Friday"?  I know I sure did, as I basically did not participate.  I will admit to going to 5 stores total after 11 am.  I actually purchased something in two, and they were not black Friday purchases.  Well, one might count as a bf purchase, as I will use it to make a gift for the dragon.  The other was can you believe I have forgotten to pick those up for two weeks...  I no longer have a car, so I take full advantage of Hubs being home to get my errands run. 

The only observation I have regarding black Friday, I think everyone is starting to catch on.  I literally only waited in line for maybe 5 minutes at each place where I purchased something. And other than JoAnns, the stores were well stocked and empty of people.  JoAnns seems to have other serious issues going on as it hasn't been well stocked or staffed for literally months.  Parking lots were empty, the roads were not congested at all. It was strange.  

I did learn that when purchasing red yarn, finally deciding on the color on Thanksgiving is very poor timing.  But... I also found a beautiful one in ample supply at Michaels. Dragon shall have a Christmas sweater. 

Other than that, we simply opted out of participating.  I don't believe I will be participating in Small Business Saturday either.  I don't have any needs, I am almost at 100% where my holiday shopping is concerned and I don't feel like consuming simply to consume. If I do need anything later, they will be my first stop. 

Hubs had to get by the cigar store, as they were purchasing several of his clocks.  He was going to commission them, but they opted to outright purchase them.  Good stuff. And he had to deliver one that was a custom that was ordered. He was a busy guy yesterday!  He made one that we are trying to decide where to sell.  It is a Harley Davidson one and it's awesome! It even holds a fifth of Jack.  That one is special as it is a collectors edition box. If we include the Jack he can't sell it on most of the sites, so we are still looking into it. 

I also spent yesterday in awe.  Was it really just two years ago that I dealt my knee the final blow when I decided to do the Turkey Trot with my sister?  Could it only be that short of amount of time?  As I was digging through the closet looking for something that fit, socks on a rooster is my current style and looks a bit sloppy, I uncovered the shirt that was my treasure to mark that walk.  I had been hurting so much at the time that I stuck it in the back of the closet and forgot about it.  Mostly out of sadness, they had been out of all of the "bigger sizes" so I'd had to settle for a large, I hadn't worn a large is dang near 17 years, I figured I would simply keep it for the memories.  My sassy self decided to try it on yesterday.  It fit!!  It wasn't loose like I usually wear my clothes, but dang it, it fit! 

When thinking about it, yeah I dealt the death blow, pretty sure that was the moment everything disconnected.  I should have gone to an emergency room that day, but well, I didn't. I soaked it until I could walk and made it through. Reality was it was going to fail at some point anyhow, it had long been a mess. Now two thanksgivings later, I have a new knee that works amazing and doesn't cause me non-stop pain and I am building back up to being able to do another 10K (I mean it might be next Thanksgiving, but I am doing it!).  And now... I can wear the shirt too!  I would say win, win, win.  It was definitely a bonus round for me. 

In a few hours I will put our turkey on to cook.  And prep a few sides up to savor with it.  The bread is finally dried enough to make my stuffing.  Yes, I am a bit late in cooking dinner, only two days... geez, but we decided that we wanted to have a dinner at home also. I might even decide to decorate today, although it is far more likely that we will go take a hike at a nearby park as it is supposed to hit a balmy 61 today.  It's going to be cold tomorrow, decorating might wait. 

The beautiful pup from yesterday will not be joining our family.  The whole situation became rather bizarre yesterday.  We did finally meet up with her, and she is beautiful, sort of.  In appearance she is a poster child for a beautiful pittie.  But... and it was a big but and deal breaker for me, she was crazy aggressive towards us, not her family or the kids, but to us.  Even twenty minutes in she was snarling, snapping and trying to attack.

Hubs and I had taken my mini-me with us to meet her, they were smart enough to keep serious distance from her. My dumb butt decided I was going to try to be friendly.  She did let me pet her for a few moments, but then she snapped at me and bit my thumb - intense pain was not a good start. The fact that they had her leashed and kept pulling her back and blocking her from us was another key indicator that she was less than friendly. I also don't do barkers, as much as I love dogs and can forgive them almost anything, that is one thing that will drive me absolutely insane! And boy oh boy is she a barker! 

I tried super hard, I really wanted it to work and for it to be a success.  Unfortunately, it was a giant NO.  There was also some slightly shady stuff with the owner, I feel you should have at least a semi-solid grasp of when you got your dog and she could only tell me awhile, not even months, weeks, years.  She also acknowledged that she had kennel cough when they got her, but that it had been treated.  Everything about it was off, the vibe was negative and sweet pup, is only sweet in the pictures.  I know that she would have been too much for me to handle.  And I have never thought that where a pup is concerned. 

What I did learn is that I believe my heart has healed.  I believe that I am ready to welcome a goofy, cuddly, loving pup into the family. And that it probably will not be the 5 or 10 years that I had originally thought it would be. Envisioning a cuddle buddy to go fishing and camping with, a partner for my walks and hikes, a fur baby to sit by the fire with and enjoy the quiet moments... well all of that feels super appealing.  I will always be a dog person, they fill me with such joy.  I like their goofiness, I am not a fan of a cat's aloofness.  I like cats, they are sweet and all, but they always seem to act like you are simply there to serve them.  Not my thing.  I prefer a dog that wants to be your best friend for their entire life. 

So, when it's right, it will be right.  This simply wasn't the right time.  And honestly, it's not really a good time as we have several trips planned to see family through the month of December.  

Speaking of December the holiday season is right around the corner and this busy lady needs to get cracking!  So many things to get done.  I am going to start wrapping today, so I know exactly what I have left to finish.  I've been a bit bouncy... time to focus.  I also need to start writing out recipe cards and Christmas cards... hurry, hurry, hurry... 

love and peace everyone!

wasting the moments...

This morning I chose to simply sit for a moment and enjoy my coffee.

It's semi-quiet, Hubs is up and down in his man cave working on - work - he struggles to shut off for even a day.  I can't say much, so do I.  I spent most of yesterday morning dealing with work.  So I really can't say much at all. 

All of that put me a bit behind on the things that I wanted to do yesterday.  But in proper perspective, it simply didn't matter.   It needed to happen. 

Shortly I will hear my Gator making his exasperated humfing sounds at the top of the stairs, his age shows when it is time to travel those silly stairs and he must suffer the indignation of human assistance.  I assure you, he feels it is suffering. I think if he could talk it would be in a very haughty proper English gentleman's accent and he would have no problem telling what insufferable bores we were being while assisting.  Instead, he rolls his eyes and makes those silly humfing noises.  Enough to let us know that he is not impressed with our feeble attempts to provide service. 

Neeko on the other hand is simply chilling. He's moving much slower now, but is still the same mellow, gentle giant he's always been. He just moves at a slower pace and rests a lot more than he used to. 

When they have both decided to wake for the morning (I would say day, but honestly it will probably be an hour or two before nap time) we will take them for their morning stroll.  It used to be a brisk walk, now... it's a barely moving shuffle.  Definitely cannot count that as a daily walk anymore.  Not sure the Fitbit would even register it as movement. It's sad.  Yet at the same time, we are thankful for every single moment they stay with us. 

These past few years have definitely been ones that have driven home the lessons of loss for me.  At the same time they have highlighted the gratitude that permeates every moment. 

Forever now it seems that I have been saying "I'm too busy" "I don't have a moment" and a few other phrases that are very similar.  I don't think that it is the truth.  I think I have created a non-stop mentality, that isn't leaving me room for what is truly important.  

I am trying to start making time.  

I don't want to say scheduling, because that simply means more of the same.  I am working to identify the things that are truly important to me and making the time to do them. 

The repair to the deck was on of those things.  It's been waiting. 

Yesterday was the start of another example.  

The first spring we lived here I noticed a struggling little lilac bush on the edge of the back yard before it rolls down the steep hill that is the majority of my yard. It was so pretty the little baby flowers.  Sadly, our yard has been over run for years before us with invasive honeysuckle.  Every year since I have told Hubs I wanted to get down there and cut out the honeysuckle.  Between illness, rain or heat for 4 years it has gone unchecked.  I was sure I had completely lost the lilac bush and the Rose of Sharon (what survived from my grandson's pruning a few years back) on the other side was definitely looking like it was lost also. 

Hubs and I headed down the steep hill.  The honeysuckle was going down.  

As we cut through honeysuckle and wild raspberries, the thorns tearing at our arms and legs, I was feeling hopeless.  It took a few hours to cut back the honeysuckle, it was so overgrown and killing everything.  Finally, there it was.  

The little lilac bush was still there.  It's in bad shape from having been overrun, but it is still there. 

We also cleared around the Rose of Sharon.  Maybe it will bloom this year.  It's so beautiful. 

There are piles of honeysuckle dying in piles on lawn.  It is not finished.  It is definitely going to be a long term project.  But it's a start.  

We accomplished something that had been waiting for years.  It felt incredible, at least the accomplishment did.  The aches and pains today prove Hubs and I were smart to hire our grandson to deal with the rest of cutting and bagging. 

Having made the decision to just dive in, felt incredible. It felt inspiring.  It felt like it opened more opportunities. It is amazing how much time we waste on television, computer and phone time.  It eats up hours of time.  Hours that we don't realize we lose until far too late. 

Who knows maybe this is the beginning of me finally starting to wrap up some projects.  I love my job.  It does make me happy.  So does my home.  I've been neglecting too much. 

I was hoping to invite one of my friends over for dinner yesterday.  We wanted to grill and visit.  As most of the deck items are stashed in the house, there was no way I was going to subject anyone to that.  Maybe the deck will be finished tomorrow... I need some time with family and friends. 

I love this shift... I hope it continues...

a new path

The base of my head is throbbing, it's been that way for a few weeks now.

My arms are heavy, my leg is swelling and my exhaustion factor is completely through the roof.

Yep, my fibro is racing towards a full blown flare.  Doc confirmed it yesterday.  Slow down.  Rest more. Can you pass off some of your stressers? Yoga? Hot baths with Epsom salt?

Can I?

Honestly, I'm surprised I made it this far.  The way this year has gone, I'm surprised it didn't tackle me and lay me out months ago. In the almost three months since Dad has been gone so much has happened.  There haven't been quiet moments.  There hasn't been any down time.

I'm sitting in the quiet of my living room.  It's dark and comforting in the silence.

I'm worn.

I've found myself on the verge of tears too many times in the past few days.  Not truly sure why, but deep down knowing it's a mix of mental and physical exhaustion.  Too much without the tools to absorb it or the strength to battle it.

Yesterday morning sitting outside for the tiny window of time allotted, sipping hot coffee and relaxing with Hubs while watching the birds darting back and forth snatching morsels from the feeder that the squirrels have finally been banished from, I felt calm and centered.

Sadly it didn't last nearly long enough to impact the changes that I desperately need at this time. There have been so many negative things lately. Too many. I'm longing for a chance to simply make it all stop. Not enough time with Hubs, behind in everything I am trying to accomplish - personal and professional, rarely is there time with the boys or the family.  Who on earth even has the energy to include friends in that bubble.

This morning held another snippet of time.  Our girl joined us for a few moments, she's busy capitalizing on both of her girls sleeping in.

Today was different though.  I started my morning slowly, like my Doc recommended.  A couple of yoga poses, legs up the wall is the most amazing one where my poor leg and lower back are concerned.  And I can't thank my favorite Yogi enough for introducing me to it.

We deliberately let the old guy lead the walk.  He's so very slow now, I don't know that it is out of necessity - he can pour on the speed when he wants to, or if he's taking more time to sniff every blade of grass and savor each moment.  Today, I didn't rush him. I let him enjoy.  Nothing is more important than that. Especially as the afternoon walks are so short right now.  It's just too hot for a long one.

I've never had a doc prescribe a soak twice a day.  But if it will help, I am game.  She's a relatively new doc for me, I got her by accident, but I immediately fell in love with her style and compassion.  She understands that I will not take medications except in dire circumstances - that horrible sinus infection for example. And instead of chastising me, she is working with me on a more holistic approach.  She may be my hero.  So shortly I will go and soak and meditate for a bit before facing the day.

I just finished reading a book. Soulful Simplicity by Courtney Carver.  I enjoyed it immensely.  In fact it is the first book I have read in a very long time that wasn't required reading.  As an avid reader, that has been something lacking in my life. I am not sure if I enjoyed the book or the actual act of turning pages more.

I am not sure where I saw it recommended, but I will say that I immediately felt drawn to read it.  So much so that I ordered it almost immediately and carved out time to do it.  It became a priority for me.

I'm loaning it to one of the B's today, but I will be reading it again when I get it back. It speaks to this journey that I am finding myself on.  I need to find the way back to me, I've wandered a bit.  I've become some of the very things that I do not want to be.

I spend far too much of my time working. Too much time being busy.  I've lost the art of lingering.  And being busy is not working for me.  Because I am no longer able to be busy at the things that matter. My sewing machines sit still, I rarely have yarn gliding through my fingers, I am working on finding enough moments to enjoy my children and grand children, and loving on my boys.

I miss taking the time to cook a fabulous dinner and then sitting around with loved ones enjoying it.  The pure bliss of fresh baked bread. Or coffee and a fresh from the oven baked treat.  Everything is rushed now. All the moments are blurring together.

I miss walks.  Not walks for fitness or as a way of exercise, but simple walks.  Along a riverbed, in a park, at the zoo, down a city street or a quiet forest.  Simply the act of walking and being.  As I read her book I found myself remembering so many things that used to bring me unbridled joy that I don't even make time for anymore.

And I am now on a journey back. The pure act of being busy is not doing me any good.  I am not soaring like an eagle and I am allowing things that aren't me to define me. For too long I have been allowing my own voice, thoughts, and feelings to be silenced for the greater good as defined by others.

That time ended.

My health is suffering, my soul is suffering, my relationships are suffering.

It's going to be a rough and tumble journey.  I don't expect it to be easy or pleasant all the time.  Change is tough.  But it's a change I desperately want and need. In the process of leaving things behind, I fully expect to gain so much more.

More time and adventures with Hubs.  More light, love and happiness.  More memories with my babies and their babies.  Hubs and I can describe in detail every adventure we had in Germany, Austria and Belgium.  Everything fit in a backpack.  Those memories are etched in our minds and hearts.  We need more memories and less stuff.

The journey is beginning...

making a life...

When the wind picks up it's almost refreshing out.  Without it, it's just hot and muggy.  I am so not a fan of this Midwest climate. It's going to be another hot one today.  Not really my thing, but at least it will keep me inside and allow me to complete some of the things I have been longing to do... or not...

I've had the olive oil and dandelions infusing at a soft boil for the past two hours.  The dandelion tea is done.  I was incredibly excited to make a batch of soap. I cleaned up the kitchen and got it ready for some serious soaping.  And as it's nice and not raining, I am planning on a batch or two of bath bombs. 

But now I am simply feeling a bit bummed out.  I didn't catch it until it heated that the olive oil had gone rancid.  It smells awful! I don't want my beautiful soap to smell like that.  I did the research, everything says I can still use it, just need to super saponify or I can wash it in brine to remove the scent. Super saponification is going to lead to a very drying soap, kind of defeats the purpose of using the dandelions don't you think?  And I'm afraid the brine will also remove all the benefit of the dandelions.  So now I'm at square one again. Guess I am going to pick another cup of dandelions.  The bee's are going to revolt... Thank goodness they grow so fast.

Maybe I will resort to something less detailed, as I truly just want to make some soaps and try out all of my new molds.  I was hoping to make a batch or so of hot process also, so I don't have to deal with the patience part of things.

And I also need to go and buy a lawnmower.  Ours is a total piece of... well you get it.  And we hired a lawn care crew.  Which I am firing today.  I don't mind spending the money to have my yard mowed, but when they are as inconsistent of these guys and my front lawn is deeper than my short guys chest?  They are doing a lousy job and they are not inexpensive.  I've had kids to a better job than this company is.

I have to admit though that even with the rampant frustrations today is bringing.  Bitter oil, deep lawn, Hubs busy working for hours... It sure did start off excellent!  I had a message from my boy, something that is rare, he's busy living his life far away, so to wake up to that gift was priceless.  And my sweet (?) girl gifted me with an awesome yarn bowl to make me smile!  I got to talk to my own mom and I feel blessed to be able to do so.

Despite the challenges, I am feeling very grateful for my new found devotion to getting deeper involved in living my own life and remembering that other things are not the core, they are the outer rings.  They are not my own personal why.  They are not the items that define who I am as a human.

I am a wife, a mom, a daughter, a sister, an aunt, a gramma, a friend to many, and possibly a nemesis to some.  But over all... I am a human being on a journey that only I can define.  I'm enjoying discovering that! For too long, I've allowed the non-important to define the important.  Who I am and my contribution to my own life and happiness cannot be graded or judged by anyone except for me.  And when you start living to achieve other's goals and desires of you, you stop being able to reach for your own happiness and inner peace.

None of us get out of this life alive.  And I am starting to fully understand that the little check marks that others are making do not define who we are or where we ultimately end up.  This is just a season in time.  And the best thing any of us can do, is love the people that are important to us.  Spend quality time doing things together. None of us need a ton of gifts and clutter in our homes, we need time, experiences, and most importantly love.

Celebrate this mother's day.  If your mom is still here, let her know you love her, if not celebrate the gifts she gave you while she was. Let your loved ones know their value.  Because all too soon, you can only send those and thoughts to silence.  Love and cherish while you can!

Time to go and celebrate my day... Best wishes to all of you!

dandelions...

Ugghhh... two weeks ago it was still cold and we were shivering.

It seemed that spring was never going to come.  In fact I was actually considering moving south.

Me.

South.

I know.  The absolute insanity of that is a bit mind boggling.

Then blink, turn a corner, open the door and suddenly summer.

We absolutely skipped spring this year.  All the trees are in full bloom, flowers everywhere, and oh yeah, the heat.  It went from cold and shivery to hot and humid almost overnight.

And oddly, I'm not hating it.  I mean, I am not at all loving it.  But, it isn't hot enough yet to say I'm hating it.

Hubs and I have been trying to enjoy family a bit more. We spent yesterday evening enjoying our daughter, grand daughters and her friends.  It was silly and fun, a nice evening in the cool breeze laughing and enjoying nothingness.  It was well needed.

I decided this morning that I want to make dandelion soap.  Walking the boys seeing so many dandelion's I felt confident the bees wouldn't mind much.  After all everyone was mowing them down and the fields are a bright yellow.  One and a half cup's of flowers is simply not that much.

I will have a tray of them wilting tonight, and dandelion tea brewing shortly.  It will be a hot process soap, so there will be none of that tedious waiting.  I hate to wait 6 weeks.  It seems like such a long time.

Oddly, it also seems that 6 weeks flies past when you have come to the back side of it.  Still, I expect I will enjoy having a new soap to try in the next few days.

I don't have time to work on too many soaps or bath bombs today.  We are going to be heading to a friends wedding down south today.  I cannot wait to share in their happiness. They are some of the most wonderful people I have ever been blessed to know. Actually, there are two couples that I adore getting married today.  Today is for them.

Tomorrow will be for me.

Tonight, we will celebrate love.

I would say that love is exactly what my sweet Hubs demonstrated standing outside in the humidity helping me gather my dandelions. I so enjoy the time we spend together. We used to spend a lot more time together.  At one time we spent every free moment doing wood working, fishing, riding.  There hasn't been much time together lately, and I think we are both missing it.

Because I have no idea why he would be willing to go out in the humidity and pick dandelions.  I'm laughing a bit thinking of it.  I mean after all, I doubt it was to smoke his cigar. 

We are doing everything we can to have more us time.  This morning we drove all the way into the city simply so he could have a Pharaohs donut. I mean they are amazing donuts, but still... I'd been telling him that he would love them! When you are willing to drive that far simply to spend time together, you definitely aren't spending enough time doing what is important.  We were going to ride the scooter in, but that humidity is taxing on me and he understood how miserable it would make me feel.  That my dear friends is love, because my sweet Hubs doesn't easily decide to not ride if the sun is out.

Take some time for your loved ones, and please remember that you are a loved one too!  It's time to get my oil fusing and the dandelion tea made before I go see my dear friend marry her best friend!  Life is good, you sometimes just have to look past the bumps to find the beauty.

this journey...

It's Easter.  

This year Easter is a bit more poignant than years past. 

It will be four weeks since my Daddy went home.  It's hard. 

Hubs and I have been hanging out with Mom and a few of my sisters. We've shopped for Easter baskets, we've laughed and remembered.  We've shed tears and smiles.  

Dad's urn is beautiful.  Far prettier than it appears in pictures. It fits him.  Resting on the shelf behind his chair. 

I'd asked for a lock of his hair.  It's currently in my purse.  I'm finding an odd bit of comfort in it.  His soft, beautiful hair.  

I'm missing him. 

Hubs and I strolled with the boys yesterday morning.  Basking in the beautiful sunshine, admiring the beauty of early spring. Blossoms, buds and blessings. It was such a beautiful morning.  

We've had so much rain since Daddy left.  Only two days of sunshine, the gift did not go unnoticed. 

I could not sit in his chair.  I wanted to.  I really wanted to curl up in it and feel his love wrap around me like a blanket.  I couldn't do it.  Instead, I stood behind it, like I've done many times over the years, resting my head on the back, draping my arms over the top, longing to hug him one more time.  

As Mom and I put together baskets and gifts we chatted about the Easter's of our youth.  Where Dad would hide our baskets and eggs.  He delighted in making it as difficult as possible. The last of mine that I can remember was hidden in the vacuum cleaner bag in the closet.  I was a senior in high school. Oh he laughed.  I remember being cranky, after all I was too grown.  What I wouldn't give to search again.  Knowing he was smiling and laughing at me once again. 

Today was harder.  Today headed home again. 

Mom came over to do breakfast with us.  That was the extent of our Easter celebrations this year.  It feels like enough. 

I'm struggling with where I am personally still.  Torn between feeling like a selfish daughter that didn't make enough trips down, to knowing that of all people Dad understood.  He knew that even though money was tight we wanted to be here and would struggle to chat on the phone with us.  He understood even more when our careers were taking off and time was not a commodity that we had to spare. 

The drive home was fairly uneventful.  We were on a mission to beat the bad weather.  We did, sort of.  We were about 5 minutes from the house when the ice started coming down.  Yesterday it was almost 80 where we were and today it is 35 and dropping.  

Mother Nature has a twisted sense of humor. I keep waiting to see a sudden shift and a loud April Fool's sign appear.  Sadly, I think no. 

It hurt me worse than normal to leave Mom.  It's all still too fresh and new.  I absolutely do not ever want to move to Arkansas, yet, I wish those 6 hours that it takes to travel between there and here could be shorter. 

We've almost put everything away, but honestly we're both a bit tired and probably won't put it all away.  Not sure what dinner is going to be.  Traveling means I didn't plan a holiday dinner. Sadly, it just feels like the start of another week without Dad.  

I'm trying for normal.  

I'm just not sure what normal is. 

I signed up for a challenge.  20 minutes average of exercise a day.  I need the structure. 

I signed up for a painting class. I love the painting and want to make it.  I'm searching for creative outlets. 

I started spinning again.  I ordered more soap supplies. I finished one knitting project.  I need to finish a few of my projects.  

It was hard to finish the scarf, I'd spent so many hours working on it in the hospital with Dad.  It's a wrap really.  I need to block it, and while it was hard, it was also healing...

I am trying to find the parts of my life that are scattered. 

Tomorrow I will order my ring.  A beautiful bit of my Dad to carry with me. A bit of strength borrowed. 

I'm struggling to regroup. 

My sleep is disturbed.  I am feeling out of control.  My work goals aren't getting accomplished, for a myriad of reasons.  Mostly the leader being wonky is my best guess.  How do you lead a group when you are struggling to lead yourself?

I know this isn't forever.  It's the out of control factor that is making me crazy.  But I am trying.  This crazy weather is matching my own internal storm. 

I'm getting there. 

surprise...

I'm only about 450 miles from my customary perch in my kitchen as I write this.  Hubs is snoozing with the boys so I decided to bring my chrome book out to the "garden" at our hotel and write for a bit.

I've been a bit quiet this week, trying not to give away the secret trip we made yesterday morning.  I know his Sis might occasionally peek at my blog and didn't want to slip up. Several times over the past year he's brought up the thought to travel down here to Alabama.  It's been a rough year for me to travel, but I have offered to let him use my car or to fly.  Each time he's opted out.  He doesn't do well with leaving me to travel anywhere.

A few weeks ago, he asked if I was working this weekend.  I wasn't sure, anymore I have to look at my calendar for everything, but promised to look as soon as I got back to my office. He'd finally decided it was time.  He was ready to go to Alabama, with or without me.

It was a surprise trip to see his sister, her birthday was earlier this week and he wanted to see her. But he wanted to surprise her!

Sneaky man started conspiring with his niece, plotting the trip and what he would do to catch her off guard. He booked the hotel (he never does this so I knew he was serious), gave up a visit to his buddy for cigars and bourbon and helped me pack.

We left St. Louis yesterday morning before 230 am, he was wanting to be there by lunch time.

Somewhere around 5 am I found myself giggling as I drove through the dark night singing along (off key) to my country music and and the boys gently snoring.  It was 5 am, I'd crossed the Mississippi, Ohio and Tennessee Rivers, Kentucky Lake and been in Missouri, Illinois, Kentucky and Tennessee.  It takes little to humor me in the middle of the night, I was simply waiting for Johnny Cash to pop up singing "I've been everywhere..."

For years I have been dying to go to Paducah, my quilt loving soul was finding the irony of driving right past a bitter pill to swallow.  I'd never realized it was so large of a city, nor that it would look so bright and modern under the darkness of night.  Knowing it is a relatively reasonable drive from the house assures me that eventually we will go back and actually visit.

It's been decades since I have traveled through Kentucky and Tennessee, I'd forgotten the beauty.  The softly rolling hills and beautiful silhouettes of  bridges in the darkness were intriguing.  Looking at the names and the historical markers along the highway had me day dreaming of more journeys east, with an intention to explore.

Hubs woke up a short ways before Nashville, and after a VERY quick stop for biscuits we were heading out again.  My country loving heart was pretty darn tickled at listening to an old Randy Travis CD as we rolled into Nashville.  Unfortunately, that is about the time all the trucks started to hit the roads and it was a very stressful drive through the unfamiliar city.

It is so beautiful, nothing in my memory banks prepared me for the journey through western Tennessee and Alabama as the sun was struggling to burn off the heavy fog.  In fact I've only been through Alabama once before that I can remember, and honestly, I don't remember it.  It was right before that time in my life that is full of holes.

The beauty is incredible!!  I could move south. Well at least this time of the year could find me cherishing those tall pines mixed heavily with all the beautiful changing colors of the deciduous trees.  I don't remember these hills, I guess I was further south, the lakes, rivers, beautiful out croppings of rocks.  The colors and scents.  Everyone is always plotting trips north to witness the beauty of fall and here it is in the south.

I want a week to just explore.  Maybe next time...

This is a rather quick trip.

Hubs had planned to sneak up to his sister's door and pose as a Gideon, wanting to share the good word with her.  He was too pokey going up the driveway and she spied him outside the window as she was cutting fabric in her sewing room.

He was all prepared with his speech as she whipped open the door before he could knock and said "I hope you're here to help cut this fabric".  I am sure neither of them was quite prepared for the moment.

Watching their hug I felt out of place.  Like I was interrupting a private, special moment between siblings too long apart. Both of them having endured things that needed the silent reassuring love that only a sibling can sometimes give. The love and happiness in their eyes and smiles was beautiful. It'd been about a decade since they'd been together. Time moves too fast and often leaves us behind as it's going.

Sis had a treasure for me as well, she knows I love quilting and old fabrics.  And she gifted me with a beautiful, almost perfectly flawless feed sack.   Scissors will never cut it, at least not in my possession, It will probably end up framed.  Yet running my fingers over the fabric delighted me on many levels, the history, beauty, the thrift and thoughtfulness all in one small treasure.

As we'd caught her unprepared for company we sat and visited while she got ready for us to go visit his niece and her family.  Hubs hadn't met his great nephew yet, and he'd seen that he carried the same cute dimple in his chin as Hubs.  A family trait for sure!

I marveled on the drive to her home at the quaint little town she lives in.  Enjoying the drive through the towns and past the waterfall.  If I had known that it was beautiful, I am fairly sure that I would have brought my good camera with me.  My phone hardly does it justice.

Sipping my jack and coke and watching sweet Hubs reconnect with his family made my heart soar. His laughter at memories that I have heard about many times, the smile in his eyes, the silly man he becomes around his niece that he adores.  The two of them have very similar personalities and I imagine could get into a world of trouble if left to their own devices.  Or maybe that should read have gotten into.

The boys handled the ride well, we weren't sure they would.  And have enjoyed the extra walks in the warm sunshine.  All the new sights and scents.  I wished we could take them up on the offer to bring them over with us when we go back in a bit, but sadly, those two are simply not that friendly and I would hate to see them get into it with their sweet old girl.  She is so precious and sweet.  Right now they are snoozing peacefully with Hubs.

It's time to go wake him.  Although I am hesitant to leave the  beauty of this little gazebo in the sunshine.  Listening to the soft rumble of distant traffic and enjoy the scents being carried in the soft breeze and watching the fall of brightly colored leaves.  I am loving the way the swirl carelessly past like a snow globe of shimmering colors.

Well, I just wanted to share a few moments and memories.  I guess I wanted to encourage everyone to take that trip, visit, enjoy the beauty and your family.  Life is short, grab up those minutes, and don't get trapped in the minutia of day to day living.

Eight hours is a standard work day, in that small amount of time we've traveled to family  Made more memories and forged tighter bonds.  Yet it often seems to be easy to say, that is such a long drive (it wasn't) or the boys will not be able to handle it (they did) or a hotel is so expensive (not so much, Hubs is a Senior now - hehe - and I am a member of the rewards club).

Excuses... cherish the moments...