what in the world...

Can we talk about intentionality? 

As the sun is peeking over the horizon this morning the topic has been heavy on my mind.  Since listening to Rory and Jess speak, it's basically all I have been thinking about.  I think intentionality, commitment and passion all tie together.  There are a few other things that fit in there nicely, but those are the ones that are seriously resonating with me right now. 

I got up fairly early, I usually do. Some mornings I grab my coffee, I sit in my chair and I simply sit.  I start the day off in a semi-vegetable state and then find myself stuck in that mindset for hours.  Other days, like today I jump right in.  Both feet hit the ground, my mind starts off saying not today Satan and I move into full busy mode.  

In both cases I firmly believe I set my own intentionality.  Did I linger too long on social media?  Did I find myself without ambition for the day and not really question why?  Or did I reflect on the things waiting for my attention and jump right in. Did I listen to the voice in my head encouraging me to do the things that make a difference?

Wednesday mornings usually mean little social time with Hubs in the morning.  He has a super early meeting and he is semi-obsessive about being super caught up before it starts.  As much as I hate it, I absolutely admire that dedication and commitment level. Recently, I'd found myself drifting into a habit of more or less pouting instead of doing what I usually do, getting busy and doing the things I need to do. 

For some reason today was different.  As I drank my first cup of coffee I wandered through my task list.  Stopping here and there for a sip as I worked on different things vying for my attention. Within the first hour of being awake I had finished the laundry, cleaned the washer, watered the newly planted garden beds, fed the dogs, prepped 4 large jars of red bud petals to steep for jelly, and swept the deck and kitchen. I feel unstoppable at this point. 

What I didn't do was linger on social media, I didn't clean out the 100's of spam that miraculously appear in my email inbox several times a day, I didn't linger over things outside of my realm of control. 

pepper plant

radishes

lilac

lettuce

I was intentional. 

Yesterday afternoon Hubs and I were both exhausted. We always are after a trip.  Yet we both knew the red bud bloom only lasts for a few short weeks and we were pushing the outer limits, if we were going to harvest any we needed to get on it. 

While picking red bud blossoms and dodging ticks (do not get me started on that topic!) I spent some time pondering why we are so tired after a camping trip.  Especially one that is full of down time and relaxation. It is a good tired.  It finally clicked. 

We are tired because we have spent time being intentional.  We focus on things that bring us closer together, we sleep little (not because our bed isn't comfy or anything like that) it's because we spend hours talking, playing cards, taking hikes, enjoying the sunshine and fresh air.  

We got home and immediately went to a friend's 70th birthday dinner.  In fact since Thursday night, we have had limited time for connection to the internet, to television, to external influences.  Even last night involved picking flowers and then spending an evening connecting with one of our girls and our grands. 

We didn't watch television or spend time on social media, we talked, we laughed, we did crafts with the little dragon and shared a family meal gathered around the kitchen island.  The sun had long set when we headed home so the littlest could get to bed and we could feed the pups. 

It was all intentional.  Hubs watched a few moments of television, during which time he had an epiphany regarding all of the ads and marketing that are pervasive on television, the radio, email, social media, heck it's even on your weather apps and games.  It's blatant, non-stop brainwashing.  Long gone are the days of subtlety when it appeared they just wanted to market a product to you. I can't remember the last time I saw a commercial for a product like a car, clothing, home, etc.

Again... intentional.  As we have become more addicted to the electronic devices in our hands and homes the brainwashing has become more and more intense. 

I found myself reflecting yet again on what Rory and Jess had spoken of. I don't believe I could be as extreme as Rory.  I do remember the days before all of the technology.  I was blessed to grow up with limited television channels and basically a state controlled radio (I mean come on, the military picked everything we listened to or watched). 

I remember the simplicity of playing solitaire with an actual deck of cards.  Or reading books for hours, not always simply for learning, but exploring the world of make believe and fantastic places.  Although as I have often stated, I was usually the one deeply wrapped up in the little house series.  Longing for that life, wondering if I was born too late. 

Would I love to go back to a time when we could talk, about anything? A time without censuring our words and thoughts, at least in a politically motivated manner.  Heck I even remember when the phrase "politically correct" came into existence.  Yes I do believe all of it has been intentional.  Everywhere you look someone is pushing, forcing, challenging, stirring up hatred and deceit.  I can't even go there with half of it.  I don't have the energy to have conversations with people that are so completely brainwashed.  The ones that will believe whatever they are told, that have stopped questioning everything, that have given in to slow and insidious process that has been taking place. 

I don't want to be part of that kind of intentionality. 

I want to be intentional, committed and passionate about the principals of the Bible.  Satan has been waging war for a very long time, my heart breaks to see how much damage has been done.  Jesus died so that we could be forgiven of the very fact of being human, of being flawed.  I realize that many religions do not believe that.  I respect that, I support your right to believe what you do.  But watching things today, I don't feel it's a two way street. 

While we were in the heart of Missouri, away from the cities and the connectivity, the connection to life, to God, to people was so much stronger.  We engaged in random conversations with complete strangers, we gathered to listen to music, to thank each other for being and doing. There were billboards encouraging prayer and asking what would Jesus do?  It was peaceful. 

This dance between worlds is becoming far more difficult. I am finding it harder and harder to stay a participant in the hatred and division that is being sown on a daily basis.  The battle is raging.  When a channel that you watch regarding earthquakes has to step up and say "folks I feel compelled to let you know that in the battle of good and evil I am on God's side, I am making a stand." That resonates, the battle is getting stronger by the moment.  

I find I need to be more intentional myself.  I need to focus on the things the Lord is asking of me, I need to focus in on that voice that I hear in my head and heart.  The one I have let life and external forces shout down. 

Jess's approach to the internet and connectivity is a far more workable solution for me.  She runs her entire business on the internet, it is needed and required. I get it. Yet she can't run her farm if that is the only place she lives. Timers are set, boundaries on important. 

But oh I do long for the days gone by, when we spoke to one another, shared ideas and tasks.  Even for a natural introvert like myself those days long past are the kind of wonderful memories too many kids today will not possess.  

I made myself a shirt, the phrase just kept resonating in my heart and mind... "Normal isn't coming back, Jesus is Rev. 14". I wore it and another one while we were out in the country almost non-stop it was on my outer sweatshirt.  I received many compliments and smiles regarding it.  I haven't worn it here in the city, I am wondering the reaction I will get.  

I don't really care.  I am intentionally stating the fact that I am on God's side.  I will live my life to honor him. 

Hey... if you made it this far in my ramblings... thanks... The world is going nuts.  We are being used as pawns in a battle far greater than we are and we are all expendable. We have to make the choice to be free, sovereign children of God or to be slaves to others that wish to control us, to benefit from our labor and servitude. 

All of us have free will, all of us have the ability to make our own choices and our own decisions.  I guess it depends one the voices that we are choosing to listen to as we make those choices. Anyone remember the cartoon of an angel on one shoulder and a devil on the other... 

The choice is ours.  We simply have to decide to be intentional, committed and passionate about our choices. 

love and prayers... 

the project...

I'm totally and completely out of sync lately.  And I love it! Even if it is stressing me out a bit, just because when I have things that I am working on I feel like I must complete them in a linear order.  It isn't happening.  In fact, other than the project that I am currently wrapped up in, nothing is happening. 

I knew when the box arrived on Tuesday that I would struggle with waiting.  As soon as I ran my fingers over the yarn at hand, I was mesmerized, I couldn't wait to see what it would look like.  I balled a skein up within the hour.  As I was winding it, the plan was already forming in my head.  I was bargaining with myself.  Maybe just a couple of hours an evening, the rest of the time would be dedicated to the other projects, housework, being an adult. 

I did great on Tuesday, I literally only worked on the project for two hours.  I put it up and went to bed.  That is when the obsession happened.  When I knew it wasn't going to be put down for any length of time until it was finished.  As I was drifting off to sleep I was thinking about it, it was in my dreams and the first thing in the morning I wanted to start again.  It didn't matter that I had chores to complete, my blog to write, my exercises to complete, I simply wanted to work on it. 

Honestly, I've been trying to process how long it will take me to complete it and if I can get the rest of my list done before Christmas at this rate.  Truthfully, I believe I will be just fine.  Best guess, this will take me about a total of 9 or 10 days.  Luckily, the rest of the things I am working on need far less time, usually a few hours to a whole day.  I've got this... 

I have to see this through.  I am under a spell. 

Hubs and I got up super early this morning to go out and see the lunar eclipse.  It was so pretty, and such a beautiful red in the coldness of the night air.  I have to admit that I love he will do these rather insane things with me.  It's the first one of it's kind in over 450 years, I mean seriously that's even more than a once in a lifetime event, it must be enjoyed. 

I wish my phone would have captured a clearer picture, it simply couldn't compete with the brightness that remained of it. We enjoyed it from the front yard for a short while, but decided we'd rather enjoy it away from all of the light pollution.  Armed with our hot coffee and lots of layers we drove west a few miles out of the city lights and sat together and watched it pass while talking about all kinds of things.  Particularly current events. 

Since Hubs had an early day, I halfheartedly attempted to do a few chores, nope I didn't get far.  The siren call of my project bag dragged me back in.  Instead of tidying my currently very untidy home, I spent two hours watching my project take shape before my eyes.  

It's going to be a long two weeks at this rate.... I love that I am in a place and time that allows for this manic behavior.  Hubs is kind enough to understand that I am deeply engrossed and is not fussing overly much about the cleanliness or the lack of consistent meals.  I am trying to make sure those aren't interrupted, not incredibly successfully. But... oh well. 

As the sun is popping over the horizon, I am going to dive deeper into my project.  If you don't hear from me for a few days... know it's because I just can't stop... 

love and peace!

setting intentions...

Hello new moon!  Today is the day to get those intentions set, to determine what you want to manifest during this moon cycle.  I always love the deep richness of the sky during this time, and honestly would love to be down at the campground staring into the blanket of stars, with the only thing missing being the light pollution of the city. 

This is the time to dream big.  Don't worry about the what's and the how's... worry about setting that goal! What do you want to accomplish?  What focus do you want the universe to step in and help you achieve? Because my friends words are very powerful and you will get what you ask for, so be careful what you ask for. 

For most of my life I have strongly felt "what you think about you bring about", I never really gave much thought to why I felt that way, I just did.  I have made that simple line my mantra for as long as I can actually remember. Like it was programmed into my subconscious and I had no idea how it got there. 

From where I am now, I realize it is vitally important.  If you ask the universe for something, which you do when you speak, you will get what you are asking for.  Stop and think about it for a moment. Do you focus on abundance or lack of abundance?  What do you worry about?  Do you simply assume that all of your needs will be met and work from that point forward?  Or do you worry about where the next dollar is coming from and stress over the lack of what you need?  

Well?  I know that every reading I have my guides stress that I need to stop worrying about abundance, it is something I struggle with.  I am a worrier by nature.  But when I think back on my life, there has never been a time where I needed to worry.  I am choosing to no longer worry.  I am choosing to live my best life.

I might not have been wealthy, but I have always had everything I have needed in life.  It's all about perspective also.  

What do you truly need? Not what do you want, but what do you need. 

My focus for this cycle of the moon is going to be heavily on health and abundance.  It will also be heavy on being grateful for all that I have in my life.  And not just the tangible objects. 

Right now I am listening to jazz music and the sounds of a meal being prepped.  I came downstairs to a beautiful fire, hot coffee and a clean kitchen.  I have so much in my life that blesses me daily.  I have a husband that is truly a life partner.  He doesn't leave everything for me, he values me and treats me as someone that he values.  We can talk about literally anything.  I am truly blessed. 

I have friends that I know I can reach out to, no matter how long it has been since I have seen them, I know that a phone call eliminates time and distance.  Near or far I have a strong support system, people I know that I can rely on when I need them.  I pray they know that I am there for them as well. 

Hubs and I also have a financial abundance, we are not rich.  We have what we need.  My intention is to be grateful for all we have and to thank the universe for bringing opportunities that will allow us to continue to meet our needs. I will continue to take the steps that will launch my self-sufficiency. That will allow us to continue to shift our lives to the reality that we want. 

As I am working on my health journey, I started to say completing it... but I am not so sure it is ever complete, I want to continue to grow stronger and healthier.  

Each morning when I work on my leg exercises I push just a little harder.  Those simple ankle pumps to prevent clots and loosen the muscles have progressed into all of the exercises that I used to do in therapy while trying to avoid knee replacement.  I focus hard on each movement, on bending just a bit more and increasing my range of motion.  

I am currently at just over one mile a day for my focused walk, and I know that doesn't seem like much right now, but considering how far it is from three months ago... I will be walking over two miles by the end of November.  Nothing is getting in my way! I love that my stride is lengthening and I really love that if you don't know me or my journey you cannot even notice the slight hitch I still have in my step, you simply wouldn't even notice!  Onward and Upward!

My knee isn't my only focus, I am very aware of the food I am choosing to nourish my body, thanking the heavens for providing me with what I need.  I avoid the processed crap that is prevalent on our grocery shelves.  Making things from scratch whenever possible.  It takes a bit more time, but a gluten-free cracker from the grocery does not even remotely compare to the flavor and textures of ones made fresh every week.

Speaking of which, before the night time cold temperatures freeze my rosemary I am going to harvest some and make our crackers, I haven't made them in about a week and we are both missing them.  Especially as it is now soup season and they go soooooo good with soup. 

I was on cloud nine last night when I fixed Hubs a yogurt with slivered almonds and the fresh dried cranberries that I prepared.  They were amazing and as he praised the flavor I was thankful I took the time and effort to make them.  I am also making the effort to drink enough water.  

I am focusing on continuing to lose the excess weight that I have carried for far too long.  I have the time and energy now. I am grateful for the blessing to put my own health first.  As the changes I am making will continue to support my long term health. 

There are smaller things that I am setting my intentions on, but those are my big ticket items.  I am asking the universe to support me.  I only want support, I know that the work itself is on me. One cannot simply say "hey universe, I want a million dollars and to be a super model" and not expect to do any work.  For the record, I want neither of those things.  I want/need enough money to live comfortably and have my needs met, to have financial independence and I want/need a healthy and strong body that I can count on to carry me through many, many more years without any health issues and allow me to live my wildest dreams. 

So... are you ready to set your intentions?  Deep down, what is it that you truly want? Are you ready to set your intentions and live your absolute best life?  Now's the time!

connecting...

Good morning!  Anyone else still laughing about the reactions to the  Great Facebook Blackout of 2021?  I am still deeply humored and semi-wishing it had stayed gone.  So... what did you do with your time yesterday?  

I had already tapped out of FB long before the shutdown, although I was surprised when my friend called to ask why I hadn't replied to her message... we'd been chatting via messenger, we are both of the age that texting is not fun or quick - unless you voice to text and we all know how many times auto correct changes what you say when you do that. I was busy working on my Monday to-do list, which definitely got pushed aside at the thought of spending a day visiting with one of my absolute dearest friends. 

I will admit that we spent a lot of time cracking up at all of the reactions to Facebook being down.  For a moment each of us were concerned, we had friends that we talked to but realized that access to Facebook was the only way we had to connect.  Phone numbers and addresses seem to be a thing of the past. We were concerned that we might have lost contact with them, because we fail to connect on that level anymore. We also stopped for a moment to think if we had any photo's or memories or ideas saved to the book. And would we hate that we lost those. 

Mostly we just ignored it, laughed hysterically at a million things - some connected to "the crash" and enjoyed life.  We sat and sipped our water on the deck, watching all the different types of birds that stop to visit our feeder.  We even had a beautiful mourning dove stay far quite awhile making a huge mess at the feeder and then fly over to a branch nearby and sit with us.  She was a relatively new addition to our treetop garden. 

So many people were stressing over the loss of the book.  It really got me to thinking.  Do I enjoy it, sure.  I like to share things with friends and families, I chat with so many folks via messenger, and I follow all my favorite hobbies and cooks for inspiration, directions and recipes.  I also follow so many sites that fill me with hope each day, with positive and uplifting thoughts, ideas, quotes, etc. I would miss those things if lost forever. 

On the flip side of the coin.  I truly feel that too many people today are completely disconnected from reality because of the book. People have forgotten how to be humans.  There are fewer and fewer face to face conversations.  We seem far more comfortable projecting life, than living it. 

My day yesterday took a huge right turn when my friend was able to come and visit.  I have dearly missed the time I used to be able to spend with her.  Laughing, talking, day dreaming, just being together, we are very similar and our conversations become animated and crazy and then serious and solemn back to animation almost in the blink of an eye. That she had time to come and have a home cooked meal and visit was a definite gift from the universe!  I hope she needed the time and visit as much as I did. 

When she called, I immediately stopped worrying about my to do list, I didn't worry about anything but getting dressed (yes I was still lounging in my pj's at almost 10:30 in the morning - dang was it closer to 11? oh well) before she arrived.  Luckily she lives far enough away that I didn't have to kill myself to be ready.  I also started a big pot of soup to share with her as we visited.  It was an absolutely great day. 

And guess what?  The to do list didn't grow or expand, the world didn't stop turning because it wasn't done.  In fact, as I started over this morning, there was more joy in doing the things.  Because I had taken the time to enjoy my friend and the gift of her time. 

My sister had text me later in the day to find out if I had made some muffins I'd mentioned.  I have more "free time" so I sort of do the test kitchen role for us when we see a recipe that we both would love.  I almost died laughing when I told her nope, I'd spent the day visiting with my friend.  And how much I'd missed her.  Her response was that I miss people in general. 

To a degree she is right.  I do miss people in general, not enough to take the radical steps she'd suggested, but enough that I cannot wait to be healed and spend more time with humans. On my own terms of course.  I am not a fan of forced peopling.  The people I want to spend time with, I want to spend time with even more than ever.  The people that I am not a fan of... well... no thanks, I don't need that any longer.  

My circle is fairly tight.  I like it that way. 

I like those rich, deep friendships.  The ones that are like a pot of soup simmering and melding together.  The fill you with a warmth and richness that can't be compared to that can of Campbell's.  I don't do people just to do people. 

This morning as I was adjusting my list and planning my day another friend called.  She needed to simply talk through a rather harsh experience.  I would have loved to climb through the phone and hugged her and held her while she processed the feelings that were tearing at her heart.  Of course that wasn't possible and the week is full for both of us, so instead we made plans to get together next week.  I am already excited to spend the time with her, we will craft, talk, dream, and share our thoughts and feelings.  Hmmmm... it appears that I have a fairly reoccurring theme to my friendships. 

Today isn't as frantic as yesterday felt when it started.  The task list is almost identical, but the calmness in my soul is much gentler.  Maybe I should shift tasks to Tuesdays?  Spend Mondays regrouping?  Who knows, I honestly like my unscripted life quite well. 

The week is short again, Friday will find us off on another adventure.  This time to see my one and only sister in law.  The weekend promises to be full of fun and just plain old time together, we've all been waiting a couple of months for this.

Is it just me or does time really seem to be moving super fast?  Another year has almost flown past.  Time is precious... so let's loop back to the book. Maybe it's time all of us take our friendships to a deeper level.  Maybe we learn from yesterday, reach out and let the people we cherish know that if they want a deeper friendship than the book, we need to make sure we have that way to connect should it disappear tomorrow. Or heck today, after the lesson from yesterday.  A way to send a card (I have a dear friend that sends them to me often, and they fill my soul with pure joy), a way to text or call to simply say you have been on my heart and I needed you to know you are special to me. 

I have some work to do.  I want those permanent connections with the people I care about.... 

Love and peace... 

inspiration...

The sun is gently rising here at the tree top garden.  It's a lovely morning, the air is soft and cool.  I decided it was the perfect morning to sit out in the garden, enjoy my coffee and write.  

I love watching the garden come to life.  The tiny sprouts as they break through the rich dark ground, the beautiful buds as they start bursting to life.  From where I am sitting I can see the bright purple flowers that will one day yield the black pod yellow wax beans.  The vibrant color against the green surrounding everything is so inspiring to me. 

It's peaceful out here.  The baby birds are starting to hatch, there has definitely been an increase in my small downy looking friends, they haven't quite learned to be afraid of humans, so they will fly up to the light wires or plant supports and look at me for a few minutes.  Watching them fly is amazing and funny. They are wobbly and unsteady, they haven't yet mastered the skills that will one day have them buzzing past, gracefully sailing from tree to tree.  

These past few weeks have been incredible.  I have so enjoyed the silence and beauty of my tree top garden.  Seeing it throughout the day is something I haven't been able to experience.  If the temperature would stay just like it is now, low 60's I would never leave my sweet little garden.  Unfortunately, this is the Midwest and as soon as the sun breaks firmly over the horizon it will soon be low 80's and I will be miserable.  I will retreat inside once that happens. 

I barely remember a time that I wasn't an early riser.  Seems like it was way back in my early twenties when I started having to be up early to go to work.  I have such a passion for watching the world come to life.  For the sun to break, the birds to start singing, to feel the energy as the world wakes from her slumber.  The critters I listen to in the early morning hours are very different than the night time friends.  

It's a bit more quiet here in the tree top garden than it is down the hill at my girl's house at night.  We share the same woods, our homes are separated by them. Probably less than a football field in length if you don't mind the craggy, slightly steep hill and small forest that is between. Yet at night when the sun goes down, up here it gets quiet, peaceful, still. The canopy life slowly tucks themselves into their snug little nests.  You can hear the steps of the forest animals, the raccoons, deer, opossum, sometimes the small red foxes. Up here, we rarely see them.  Sitting in her yard at night, comes really close to feeling like you are in a horror movie some evenings. It gets dark up here, but not understory of the forest dark. 

I envy her the large flat yard, the spaces that she can fill with all sorts of vegetables and fruits.  I might covet my child's gardening space.  I wouldn't trade her though. My world is filled with bird songs, her's is filled with a wildness that I find a bit disturbing.  I get an occasional skink or turtle visit and we have seen one snake up here since moving in, bless her heart she always has snakes (OK, I understand they are good for keeping pests at a low level - but geeze), lizards, turtles - did I mention snakes? And at least once a year there are several coyote that wander through, her yard is their resting spot sometimes. 

Nope, the tree top garden is more my style, especially as I get older and have a few more struggles with these darn knees. 

Sitting here watching the sun sneak higher into the sky I discovered that I also have a beautiful pea blossom. All of this beauty is making me want to climb the stairs and look for a quilting book I bought many, many years ago.  I can't remember the name right now, but I can picture the quilts so vividly.  If I remember right it is a mother and daughter team one is a photographer the other created quilts based off the photo's of nature. I couldn't help myself... I climbed the stairs... Jean and Valori Wells... and as I have three of their books, you can tell I love them!

Ugghhh... I have a few projects that I need to finish, I need a clean plate. I need to be able to focus on what is important to move forward without being distracted by the left unfinished piles. I simply need no more guilt in my life around unfinished stuff. 

My class yesterday was incredible.  I was sorry Hubs couldn't be there, poor guy ended up with a stomach virus, based on the silence from the man cave, I think he might finally be sleeping. I learned so much.  I am definitely on the right path.  Tons of questions were answered, so many idea seeds were planted that my head actually hurts.  I know the machine I have is not the machine I need and I am working on the plan needed to get the equipment that will make a difference.  

The tricks and tips were "worth the price of admission" as the instructor kept saying and honestly I think I met my spirit animal in her.  She was fun to be around, but her irreverence for the quilt police made my heart soar.  The quilt police alone are one of the main reasons that I refuse to join a guild.  I've had that experience far too many times. 

I am never going to be a quilter that follows the rules.  Art should be personal. Quilts are art. Being told what thread to use, how much and when?  No thank you.  Being told that I have to color inside the lines and if I don't mine isn't good enough.  Nope, that isn't how I roll.  My first grandmother's flower garden is 100% hand pieced and quilted.  It is made from fabrics that I never would have put into a quilt, it didn't matter.  I didn't have a clue how to make it, didn't know it was a very difficult pattern, I simply did it.  It was my great-grandmothers.  It is full of polyester (strange) and a mix of cottons (even some feedsacks) that probably do not belong together.  It is full of love and a rich family history.  I treasure it.  Any quilt guild around would have lost their minds. 

So much is spinning in my head and heart right now, so much research is needed, so much to dig through.  I am setting the intention that I will have the new longarm machine by my birthday month.  I cannot wait for that part of this new journey. 

I think it's time to savor my coffee, enjoy the view and relax for a few minutes.  Hubs is sleeping, the world is silent except for the critters and the random hum of vehicles and air conditioners. 

What kind of joy are you finding in life? Are you taking the moment to soak up the beauty and inspiration around you? How are you going to break the rules and live free and inspired?