is the sky falling...

As the "official" new year begins, it feels ominously quiet outside.  A deep darkness that doesn't seem to want to fade into sunlight.  After almost three weeks off, Hubs has headed back to work, the kids returned home, and life is returning to a normal rhythm.  But back to the darkness for a moment, it's after 7am and it is still a cloaking darkness, there is a slight lightening on the horizon, but it's still.  

I guess it feels a bit more creepy due to the fact that here in the metro east we have had two meteorites seen and felt in as many days. Hubs and I were oblivious, but when you live in a world with two big, playful pups and an equally playful Hubs... well, strange noises aren't often noticed.  They are usually drowned out by the chaos of play. 

Just knowing and then being in the heavy darkness as I hauled out the trash can this morning was a bit unsettling. After a week of above average temps, I mean seriously the highest in recorded history - what gives?  We immediately plunged back into our normal biting cold.  Gotta love the mid-west.  

I'm not much of a New Years' kind of gal.  It feels awkward and manufactured to me.  I tend to lean towards a celebratory mood as we edge into springtime.  It feels natural, the world is waking up, there is a newness all around and life feels ready to restart. So needless to say, yesterday was a nothing kind of day for us.  More of an administrative thing.  We ran a few errands, did a few chores and basically caught up on life.  How about you? 

Today, will truly be a bit more of the same.  Hubs being back at work, means the normal flow of days is returning. I have quite a few projects that I intend to tackle this month, with or without a working thumb. I have things that I have decided are deeply important to me to focus on this year, and I intend to do it. 

For years many things have lingered.  No plans to make them reality, just assuming they would come to life on their own.  Strangely (yes I am being factitious) they have not.  Therefore, I have decided to tackle them in the same manner that I would have tackled tasks needing done back when I "worked" in the outside world.  I need to plan. I've spent the past few weeks doing just that.  

Now comes the implementation part of these plans.  Beau will have meds soon and I will swing into my routine.  It feels weird after almost a month.  But also a bit stabilizing.  I am not a sit around kind of person, I thrive with things of value to do.  I know that I get fussy when paused, and this darn thumb has definitely paused me.  Although, I have to own it, I mean, I did cause the damage in a fit of temper.  There are times I absolutely amaze myself. How many people can claim to have broken a thumb making Christmas cookies?  Because this girl 100% can!  Typing is a challenge as it took me several seconds and errors to realize I couldn't use my splint to press the key I wanted... geez... only a few more weeks of this insanity.  I keep telling myself that we can all survive anything for six weeks, as I get fussier and fussier. 

The sky is now a heavy gray, no signs of blue, no definition to the clouds.  Looks like it is simply going to be a dreary, cold day.  To a degree it still looks like something I would've envisioned out of the Stephen King novels I read in my youth, soulless and still.  YUCK! Guess I'll be keeping the curtains drawn as I sew and do projects today.  Who needs that kind of gloominess surrounding them?

I've no idea if I will manage to write consistently in 2026.  Honestly, it depends on my spirit and desire.  I won't ever force myself.  And I think I need a new bingo card for 2026, because it seems to be coming in hot and busy... I guess we'll see.  What about you? 

Much love, 

b

Psstt.... God wins!

Doesn't it figure.  As soon as I make a decision, as soon as I set my intention to finally tuck things away, whatever was causing me to be blocked and unable to write, disappears.  For several days now my mind has been running rampant.  So much that wants to get out and be written down.  For me, to sort it all out, to clear my brain of the nonsense.  

So I am writing, but I will not be sharing it on Facebook.  If you find it, you were meant to find it.  It will remain as long as Google allows.  I will write when I need to clear my head of the thoughts and chaos that is swirling.  I'm enjoying not being on the book.  I don't know if I will return, maybe someday.  Who knows. 

This morning I am enjoying this day of beautiful sunshine and colors, almost as much as I enjoyed the non-stop rain that fell yesterday.  We desperately needed the kind of rain that fell, gentle, consistent and steady.  With just enough breaks in between for our overly parched earth to drink it up. 

I am heading to my sewing room as soon as I clear my head and heart.  I have projects to work on.  I have spent a bit of time in prayer already today, so I feel much more capable of engaging in life. I'm finding the more I pray the less I feel dragged into this horror show that we are living through.  I feel a sense of calm that I need, I linger on the outer edges and watch from afar.  God's words to be in this world, but not of it are the mantra that I have chosen to wave as my battle flag.  

For too long I have tried to dance in the midst of it all, trying to keep peace and make others feel comforted and strong.  I'm tired of that dance.  It was never mine to take on. If you know me well, you know I am rather eclectic in most things.  My choice of music, what I will watch or read, the activities that bring my soul joy... i don't really have a type.  Or at least I've never fit into the traditional patterns that I have spent my life trying to merge into. 

I've found myself throughout my life trying to be a chameleon. Always wanting to belong, but never quite fitting in.  My round peg simply never found the perfect spot.  So I adapted.  Over the course of the past few years, I've found myself less and less willing to adapt.  Never quite brave enough to be completely true to who I am, always afraid that I would offend someone or step on toes by thinking differently. 

Afraid to lose the people that I had changed me in order to be friends.  Our world has worked really hard at forcing people to pick sides, to divide and conquer, to damage the fibers of the mesh that makes us whole.  I fell for it all. 

As I am healing from that damage, and praying for all of us to heal, I am finding that I don't need those "friends", if they can't accept me for who I am, then I have no need to retain them in my life journey.  I am learning that it is okay to be oneself.  

I am a child of God, I believe deeply in God and Jesus, I am not however a religious person.  Because far too many churches and religions are man made, they have excluded God.  It took me a long time to identify what caused me to want to leave most churches that Hubs and I went to, to truly understand the discomfort I often felt while sitting in those pews.  

As a result I have explored many avenues trying to affirm in this world my feelings and thoughts. Trying to conform to man's world, when I didn't need to, I needed only to listen with my heart.  The answers have always been there.  I've always known that I could talk to God whenever and however I needed to, I didn't need a building or doctrine to tell me how.  It is why I find the peace I find while sitting in nature, in God's perfect "building".  Is why I feel closest in those moments.  Those moments are not touched by man. 

I feel strongly that we are living through a period of time that is biblical.  But not in a fluffy feel good kind of way.  More like the way of Jericho, the great exodus, the ark, Sodom and Gomorrah.  I also feel that we are each here for such a time as this.  We are this time's Esther. 

Esther 4:14

Amplified Bible, Classic Edition

14 For if you keep silent at this time, relief and deliverance shall arise for the Jews from elsewhere, but you and your father’s house will perish. And who knows but that you have come to the kingdom for such a time as this and for this very occasion? 

Our world, not even just our country, state or city, but the entire world is hurting.  There is so much going on that is wrong on levels that are beyond compare.  It all feels like it is intentional to hurt and cause pain and ultimately submission. 

I kneel only to God, I am submissive only to God.  For most of my life, I worked hard on blending in on doing what was expected by man.  I silenced that inner voice that was trying so hard to get my attention and telling me to have faith. 

I have a horrible memory.  Downright full of holes, worse than baby Swiss cheese or a sea sponge.  There are times I can remember an event or occasion in great detail, but that is rare.  For someone that has such a horrid memory, I can remember things like my grandmother giving me a necklace that was a mustard seed inside a magnifying glass, and always telling me to simply have faith the size of that mustard seed, Matthew 17:20 for those of you that do not know the verse, and nothing will be impossible.  

I can remember my life feeling like a shambles and being at the point of giving it all up, knowing that on my own I absolutely could not move forward.  I remember clearly kneeling, in tears of frustration and doubt and praying to God.  Begging him to step in and guide me through, to take my life and use it as he saw fit.  That was in 2002.  The worst and best year of my life.  

I stopped trying to do it on my own.  At least for a long while, I stopped forcing my will and let his will be done.  Miracles happened.  I was in a marriage that had ended, I was very ill, I was facing life in a city I didn't belong in and full of uncertainty and fear.  In what felt like a moment in time I started living a life full of love, joy and happiness.  Married to the man that feels like my other half, someone that cherish's me as I cherish him.  There is no doubt, fear or anxiety. 

I remember so many things that are of God.  But things of man, nope.  They are not there. 

As I watch from the sidelines, I can clearly see things that are disturbing and beyond obvious.  I mourn for the people that cannot see past the programming forced on us.  The ones that are still and maybe always will live a life of fear. The ones that cannot or will not allow themselves to question all of the things before them that make absolutely zero sense.  But they follow along, out of fear. 

I have always felt that Satan wasn't real, I fell for the standard beliefs.  At least not in the doctrine sense.  Watching this world from the sidelines, I feel stronger than ever that Satan is alive and well and running this world of ours. When you step back, when you don't have a "horse in the race" so to speak, you realize that there are so many things happening, so much destruction, the fear and hatred are running rampant, the world is a hot mess.  And people are simply too wrapped up in survival mode to see it.  

I always joked that this world was hell and if we made it through, we were heaven bound.  Sadly, I feel it is something similar.  There is much in this world right now that is violent, obscene, against God, it is perverse and vile.  It's being dressed up to appear to be for our own good, until you strip away the dressing.  

Our children are being indoctrinated, they are being brain-washed. They are being poisoned when allowed to live.  Our food is toxic, many countries do not allow food from the US into their stores.  Look at a few labels.  Ask yourself why man made food is so much cheaper than God made food.  

Stop and ask yourself why women were removed from the home and put into the work force?  Especially when their primary purpose biblically is to take care of the family.  Raise the children up in the way of God.  Where was the benefit in women as a whole joining the workforce? A greater income? For what?  Ask yourself that question, seriously ask it! All the greater income did, was make prices go higher, so you needed more income.  It provided more taxes.  Money truly is the root of all evil. 

With the advent of both parents working, children became susceptible to whatever the schools wanted to teach them. Take a look at what is being taught.  Really look.  Step back and look!!  Even something as basic as math is no longer one plus one equals two.  I remember as clear as day the moment they brought "math their way" into our elementary school.  My son was in second grade, it was after the winter break.  And it completely started the snowball rolling down hill where parents are no longer able to fully help their child with their homework.  Because it makes absolutely zero sense.  

The damage done in the past two years has been accelerated, on a level that is unreal.  When the parents were removed from the home to work countless hours to provide more and more, the family started to break down.  Kids became the proverbial idol hands are the devils playground.  There is no one enforcing discipline, because they either aren't there or they are terrified of having their kids taken from them. 

I can't say I enjoyed the discipline that I received as a child, but I will state 100% that I would have never dreamed of doing or saying anything like what kids do today.  Have there always been children that are bull headed and difficult, yep.  Has it ever been the majority of them?  Nope.  Is it now... take a look, watch them.  

This week there was a shooting at a school that is around the corner from where I used to work.  I dealt with those kids on a daily basis.  Color me not surprised that there was a shooting, that lives were lost.  The media is doing two things.  Not covering it accurately and stirring the pot that the shooter died because he was black. 

Sorry, I am absolutely not interested in that.  The teacher that died was white, the school is predominately black and most of the kids go there because they have had issues with traditional schools, as is the case in most of the city. Those are some tough kids.  Life has not been kind to them, they have not been raised and they have not been educated or disciplined.  When they get into trouble, most of the time the parents response is what did you do to them that caused them to behave that way.  Sorry, nope.  What did you - as the parent, not do that caused that behavior. 

I'm heartbroken for all of them.  But it was a kettle that was brewing for far too long, it was going to happen eventually, and frankly I feel it was being pushed to happen. It's that way all around this country. The reality is the colors of the individuals don't matter.  They could have been purple, orange, green... it doesn't freaking matter!!  What matters is that a young man felt the world hopeless enough without anyone to turn to for advice and guidance and took a gun to his former school intent on killing someone.  He killed a young woman and a teacher that was defending her students. Before being shot by the security (read secondary cops) detail assigned to the school, he later died at the hospital as a result of his actions. 

Stop turning everything into a racial issue.  Stop turning everything into something that is isn't.  Ask yourself why a school needs to have armed security at all times.  Ask yourself how big that school is, hint not huge, and why they needed at least 7 armed security on staff.  That alone should give you a greater clue as to what is going on.  That alone should open your eyes that the real problems are of the soul and not of the skin. 

I am angry.  I'm tired of watching what is happening in our homes, schools, neighborhoods all for the sake of destroying the human race.  We are humans, we are made in God's very image.  God didn't separate us, he wants us whole and together in peace.  Evil people, with money and power as their driving force are the ones doing this.  

If you take the time to open your eyes, you will be amazed at what you actually see.  If you remove the programming, if you look at it all.... Take off your blinders.  Bow your head in prayer.  Read your Bible - and try to find a non-super edited version - an old one. Everything is being manipulated, the goal is the same as it was back in the pharaohs day - free labor to enrich the self appointed leaders of this world.  They will destroy as many humans as they need to reach their goals.  We do not matter to them. 

We matter to God, we are his children.  And just like any good parent, he has had to let us grow, he has had to let us learn our lessons. No matter how hard it is. 

The seasons are changing.  If you found this, maybe you were meant to.  I felt powerfully moved to write it, my heart has been super heavy with it for a few days now.  I am accepting that I am a round peg for a reason, I am no longer trying to change who I am for anyone else's comfort.  God made me the way he wanted and needed me to be. 

I have faith that God is in control and that when we chose to be in this world, but not of it as he's asked we will be able to weather any storms Satan and his minions have for us.  Step back, walk away for a while, pray... God has this.... 

love, prayer and peace...

thinking out loud...

There is rain moving in. Or at least the promise of rain.  The air is thick with it, not humid, but heavy.  Like it wants to burst forth with life giving water and soothe the land.  It was supposed to start around 3 am, now it looks like it might come around 10 am.  Who knows if it will actually fall.  I didn't water the garden yet, just in case.  It's a beautiful 71° outside right now, so I'm not too worried.  

The pups are taking full advantage of the cool weather and running around like crazy.  Chasing leaves that are falling because of the heat, butterflies and imaginary sounds.  They have been at it for over an hour now, nap time is going to hit hard. They've only stopped for come inside for a quick drink of water and a touch of kibble. Playing in the cool weather is much more to their liking this morning, they have lots of stored up energy to burn off since yesterday was sort of blistery hot during the day. 

I was going to sit in the garden to write this morning, but it's a touch too noisy for me to be able to concentrate.  I guess one of the neighbors is having a deck built or repaired or something, and the crew working on it definitely got an early start.  Around 6:15 this morning you could hear the sounds of saws and various power tools.  I get it, I'm definitely not mad at them at all.  When it's as hot as it's been by mid-day, you are much smarter if you start early and break in the middle when the heat is high and uncompromising. 

When I lived in Crete, that is how life moved.  The days started super early, and slowed dramatically from around noon to three. During the heat of the day the shops closed, the men headed to the little cafe's and sat outside talking and playing games.  I don't remember what the women were doing, I just know that around 3 pm we would walk down the hill to the bakery and bought fresh bread for dinner most days.  I remember you could smell it baking throughout the village.  The men worked outdoors, they were farmers and fisherman primarily in the small village I lived in, they needed that moment in the shade.  They would get back to work in the late afternoon and work until evening when it became cool and welcoming once again. 

Hubs and I were drinking our coffee this morning and chatting about my inability to remember the day of the week.  He mentioned that he was a bit jealous of the fact, one bit of discussion led to another and had us wondering why the work day model was ever developed or accepted over all.  It's so unnatural. I work super hard, probably harder than I ever worked when I was employed in the traditional sense.  My days are often long and filled to capacity. I definitely do not follow the Monday - Friday grind.  I work when I have things to do. I rest when I am worn.  Sometimes that means I do absolutely nothing in the middle of the week, and sometimes I am busy as all get out the entire weekend long.  I think the reason that I don't remember the days is because Monday is no longer a day for me to dread and Friday is no longer a long awaited moment of release. 

They are now simply moments of time when the sun is up or down. Somehow we were all convinced to become slaves to a system that doesn't benefit us.  Our children have their natural sleep cycles disrupted to go to sit in schools for hours on end.  Not really learning how to think, it's more being taught what to think.  Long gone are the days where education was for their collective benefit.  They grow up being convinced that the only way to be successful in life is to trade off those five days a week in exchange for the two that you get to semi-claim as your own. And even those lines are becoming far more blurry than before. 

I saw a meme this morning that struck a serious nerve in my heart this morning.  It had a picture of chickens at the top and said "free range animals", at the bottom was a picture of a busy pedestrian street, packed solid with people that said "free range slaves".  Ironically, my daughter made a comment the other day that was basically along the same lines.

We've been so programmed to think of slavery in a single way that I fear we have over looked what is truly going on.  We punch time clocks and do what is required to earn dollars that are taxed at a ridiculously high rate and then we pay more taxes on everything we buy with those few remaining dollars. We end up trading our lives to support what is basically a slave system.  We don't benefit.  We toil. And thank the very people that enslave us.  We have slowly become people that have to be consumers because we have forgotten how to be our own creators.  It has been taken away from us. 

There was a time you built your own home, grew your own food, made your own household goods.  There was a time those skills existed for all of us, gratefully and willingly passed down to the generations that followed. You learned trades, you farmed the land, you might be a shop keeper, of even a healer.  But slowly the trades narrowed as we no longer made things, the farmers had to fight to stay a small farmer or else become part of the huge agricultural complex, those mom and pop shops got gobbled up and spit out by the mega shops that were buying cheap crap from other countries and selling it to us for even less. Finally, healers became part of big Pharma and stopped healing and started treating symptoms of the greater ill, because there is no money in healing. 

Slowly we became conditioned to march in lockstep.  To stop seeing what wasn't working and moving towards accepting it.  At least that is how it feels from my personal place in the world now.  When we don't do what is wanted, there are punishments.  Higher prices, lack of things we have forgotten how to make, things become unavailable or worse illegal, even being controlled by a credit score that impacts everything in your life.  We are forced into compliance, maybe without physical whips and chains.  But the punishments are there just the same. 

all the girls together

Last night we gathered with family and friends, we laughed, we talked, we had fun.  Most of us stayed up way past our bedtimes.  Today I am feeling the effects.  Today I am super weary.  I want to snuggle up with my pups and sleep for a few more hours, I'm tired.  Five hours of sleep was simply not enough. I won't take a nap, I would feel far too guilty if I did.  Knowing that my family and friends that gathered last night to celebrate are struggling through a day where they cannot rest, I'm still caught in that mindset.  If they can't, I won't. But it will definitely be a very early night tonight. 

I know I go down some strange paths... these are just my crazy thoughts and my questions... 

successes...

After chatting with ya'll yesterday, I finished up a few chores and then just chilled.  I didn't get the jellies done, although I did get the "broth" prepared for them.  I also got the huge pot of veggie stock finished.  And then I stopped for a bit.  I napped, I enjoyed my pups and I did a bit of knitting.  Not sure if it was the heat or simply exhaustion, but I was done.  Yet somehow around 4 pm, in the absolute heat of the day, I decided to do yard work. 

I'm definitely a special kind of crazy.  I am also a special kind of excited about doing it!  The accomplishment feels larger than life.  My sweet Hubs completely took over yard work probably five or six years ago.  My knees simply could not handle it, my spirit was broken by my inability to do what is arguably one of my favorite summer jobs.  He's let me do a bit of the string trimming and even some of the blowing the debris back into the grass, but that is pretty much it.  Not out of a sense of control, or even being ornery, but out of care and compassion. 

Yesterday, I decided it was time.  There was questionable weather moving in and I didn't want Hubs to be out in the extreme heat of the afternoon.  There was a nice enough breeze and I felt strong.  It's been years, so I was a bit nervous, what if I had just bitten off more than I could chew?

I started small doing the basic clean up and string trimming.  Even weeding the front flower beds, just need to clip the sun damaged plants - that is for another time. Finally I moved stuff and pulled out the push mower.  Hubs has a riding mower, I don't like it and never want to learn to use it, our yard is simply too steep and it scares the absolute living daylights out of me. Filled it up with gas and then spent a few minutes remembering how to start it.  

It was hot, sweaty work.  Yet, my entire mood shifted.  I was finally doing my own yard work, after so many years... it was wonderful.  Yep, special kind of crazy. I love the smell of fresh cut grass, it immediately takes me back to being a kid and my grandpa cutting the lawn.  I love to watch the unkempt blades become organized for lack of a better description. I remember begging my dad to let us mow the building grass.  I'm pretty sure it was my sister and I, you'd have to ask her, she has a better memory than I do.

Mostly, I loved that I was able to do the work.  I am a worker bee at heart.  To be strong enough to walk up and down that hill that a year ago seemed like Mount Everest, and not falter or stagger.  I felt like I had won the lottery. 

After heating myself up so much... FYI 104° heat index is not my gig, although frankly it was the darn humidity that wore me down, I decided to semi-relax for the rest of the day.  I just needed a day of rest I guess.  I almost finished another dishcloth, but even gave up on that, it wasn't bringing me joy, it felt like work.  So I tucked it away and spent the afternoon reading and the evening watching an old movie with the Hubs.  "The Long, Long Trailer" with Lucille Ball and Desi Arnez.  

I'll just stay here mom...

It was cute, Hubs thinks it's funny, I found large parts of it super annoying and wanted to slap a few of the actresses.  I can definitely see where women would have a hard time being taken serious if that is how they all acted back then.  One more squeal and I would have screamed. As someone that owns a camper, I found the premise that it was only 3000 lbs at 40 ft long and able to be pulled by a car a bit hard to believe, particularly with all of the furnishings and stuff crammed into it, but hey... it was fantasy. 

There is a lot of strangeness going on it the world this week, so I am pretty sure I am going to stay comfy in my personal little paradise and do my stuff.  I don't feel like participating in any of the insanity.  I am so thankful that I have the ability to make that choice.  I've decided today is going to be reserved for sewing and working on those two quilts.  I simply need to get them done and off my plate.  They are beautiful and I am sure having them completed will bring some comfort to the woman that made them.  

supervising the workers next door

Well, a friend is coming by for lunch, so I am going to get busy, I'd like to finish quilting one of the quilts before lunch.  

love and peace... 

helping hands...

I woke up this morning to the loud crash of the tree outside slamming against the chimney cap.  I could hear the winds whipping and roaring.  As I lay in bed I was praying for my little treetop garden. Its light enough for me to have checked on it.  It isn't pretty.  I'm not sure the amount of damage done yet, fairly sure I've lost at least one tomato plant and the green beans are taking a beating also.  Almost everything is literally lying on it's side. I must say it is very disheartening to wake up to that.  I've worked so hard on my little garden.  Once the wind and rain stop, I will go out and see if I can salvage anymore of it.  Right now, it's a sad mess. 

After a week of hot temperatures in rolls a wild and crazy thunderstorm.  I had expected it to a degree, the forecast had called for it, that doesn't mean it is something to celebrate.  I am very thankful that so far it hasn't brought hail or a tornado with it.  

Definitely shows you how fragile the balance is when you are trying to be more self-sufficient.  I do not expect my little treetop garden to provide all of our needs, not even close.  But it feels like a small promise of hope as prices escalate to the point that you really have to question every purchase. If I had expected that garden to provide our nourishment, I would be crushed right now.  

I am hoping that most of the plants in the boxes surrounding my deck are strong enough to bend as the old country song says.  I will find out in a few hours. Planter boxes do not provide a great deal of root depth, so it is always a gamble. I long to be able to plant a true garden again, but sadly my property simply doesn't provide that opportunity.

I hadn't planned to write about this today, in fact I didn't know what I was going to write about (that is pretty much how it goes on any day).  This sudden storm definitely drives home so much of where my head and heart are at right now. 

Last night we drove over to our friends house, the ones that were going to can with me yesterday.  Life happened and there was an emergency, so it got delayed.  I didn't want their preparations to go to waste, so I offered to come pick up and get it done today.  We swap serves for one another and they will smoke some meats for us. It was almost dusk when we got there and all of us had a small giggle when we thought about how it must look like we were doing our own drug exchange in the street.  They live in the city, drug deals are not that uncommon.   I had picked some things up for them while in Arkansas, so there was even a cash exchange. We haha'd it off we continued to chat, enjoying visiting for a few moments in the sweltering humidity.

It wasn't until we were heading home that the truth to that small joke really hit me.  And then I simply couldn't stop laughing.  Not so much in the fact that it was funny, it wasn't, it was actually semi-terrifying. In the not too distant future that could be what happens. People meeting in alley's to exchange food items, like some backyard black market. Will they bring their armed guards like some cheesy Mad Max movie?  Or maybe it will be like all of the bootleg movies, smuggling in tomatoes or a pork chop.  Is that the future that we are looking at?  Is that the path that we are sliding down?  I felt a sense of hysteria accompanied the laughter.  I could see it as clear as day in my minds eye, it felt ugly.  

Everyday I pray that things will become "normal" again.  And by normal, I mean I would love for people to have the things they need and want without fear of the costs.  I was stunned when I reached for the brand of heavy cream that we buy, it was over $10 for a quart.  I used to be upset when it was pushing $5.  Needless to say, I didn't get the preferred item.  I bought the generic one.  Oddly, it seems the things going up the most are the healthier items.  Unhealthy stuff still seems to be a bargain. Wonder why?  But then that dollar menu crap was always less expensive than a salad.... go figure. 

The storm outside is still raging, lightning bolts keep shooting across the sky, rapidly followed by thunder that you can actually feel. According to the news that Hubs is listening to it is leaving the area.  According to what is outside the window... well... it had better be hustling.  There are pictures of huge trees coming down on homes and cars, I guess I shouldn't be so upset over a few tomato plants, there is always a silver lining. 

I am still looking for the silver lining that is waiting for us in the midst of the storm this world is going through.  Are we close to the eye of the storm?  Or even better are we going through the back side of it?  While working yesterday, I heard of several mid-west states dealing with power outages - the grid can't handle the excessive heat. Yellowstone National Park is pretty much destroyed due to flooding.  Odessa, Texas was without water for at least 2 or 3 days and are still struggling to get it back.  The pacific northwest is cold and wet, more so than usual.  There are fires raging in the south, destroying homes and land. What in the world is going on?  I belong to groups made up of everyday people all over the world, these "unique" happenings are not just here in our country.  They are global. And that is just a tiny snapshot of the things that are going on all around us.  

The puppies have a new friend

He wants to play with the deer

A long time ago, I was watching a show - and the host said, there will come a time when the only way we can affect change is at the most immediate level.  He was referring to our families and our immediate community.  It stuck with me.  It seems almost prophetic at this point.  

I have a dear friend in Florida, that continues to post the most awesome updates on his time spent with another friend from high school that is battling cancer, literally fighting for his life.  The most recent picture of a pizza box and the smile gave me hope.  Filled me with joy for all that it represents.  My friend has a family, with younger children, but still makes the time to lift his lifelong friend up, to be there and make sure that he knows he is surrounded with love and hope.  I started to say find's time, but the truth is, when things are important you don't find time, you make time. They are living proof of doing what you can to affect change. 

I am blessed to be surrounded by people from all walks of life, that have a depth of beliefs, thoughts and feelings.  Some are youngsters, some are older, there isn't a standard to anything at all about my tribe.  Other than the people I surround myself with are all people that go above and beyond to lift those around them up.  My friends span countries, live immensely different lifestyles.  I am so absolutely amazed at the wonderful people this life has put in my path. I am in awe of their willingness to step into voids and to lift those around them. 

Just like my friend yesterday, when she called to let me know of the emergency.  I could hear in her voice that she was tired.  Yet there she was rushing to help someone in need.  Yes, it is what she does for a living, but this was an above and beyond situation and she never hesitated. 

I am thankful that life has afforded me the ability to play the supporting role to my family and friends.  Today as I take care of helping my friends, my heart will be full.  It is a blessing that I am thankful for. 

I believe the current quote from Mr. Rogers, is to look for the helpers.... I want to always be that helper, because what I have discovered is that when you are the helper, so very many helpers are there for you.  Isn't that how life is supposed to come together?  Aren't we supposed to work together to life one another up?

monitoring life...

It's well past that 6:45 end of the storm, and it is still raging out of control.  It's time to fix the Hubs some breakfast, warm up my coffee and start the day.  I need to gather the jellies and jams that I am trading for some mason jars, I definitely wasn't going to miss an opportunity like that. Yep, it's time to start the day officially...

Try to be the helper... take time to lift up someone and bring some light into this world...

love and peace... 

deeper thoughts...

Is it crazy that I stood out in the treetop garden this morning thankful for the rain?  I'm tired today, more than that I am crazy sore.  I was brutally reminded yesterday that I am not in my 30's any longer. I spent my morning helping the Hubs.  He has a huge, labor intensive project and just like the rest of the world, not enough staff to accomplish the task.  I did it for him.  I will do it again.  Four straight hours of pressure washing is tough on a body that is closer to 60 than it is to 30 (Yikes... I just realized how very true that statement is... 3 years and a few months... how in the world did that happen?).

I promised to help finish it and I 100% will.  Seems there are not a lot of folks with the old work ethic around these days.  Feels like folks are more concerned with themselves and their successes and not so much about team work.  Besides it felt good to do something to help.  As a general rule, I don't volunteer my time anymore to certain activities, it doesn't have the same warm fuzzy that it used to.  For my Hubs... now that is an entirely different story.  If you know me well, you know that I am fierce about protecting my family. 

Since the rain is promising me a day of inside work, that is where my focus will be.  I need to run up to the grocery store here shortly, I ran out of sugar free pectin and want to get my sugar free blackberry jellies made today.  I also want to get the sugar free peach made also.  I only managed to finish up my Dijon mustard yesterday, after a morning drenched to the bone pressure washing, I was too exhausted to do much else.

I think I will have to make cowboy candy with all 
these red jalapeno's.  Should be pretty.

I never re-read my blogs after I have written them.  Maybe I should, I don't know.  I know I was on a bit of a roll the other day.  In fact, Hubs may have labeled me a "rantress" "if that is even a word".  Although he didn't disagree. While I was working yesterday I had the opportunity to catch up on a few of the vlogs that I am behind on, I don't think that I am alone in my concerns. 

Sri Lanka is just the canary in the coal mine.  Listening to mainstream information they are predicting a diesel shortage with rationing going on.  I'm concerned.  I'm also concerned about the sudden upswing in shootings.  I heard about the one in Texas last night and wanted to throw up.  

Do you question them?  I do.  Because we go for very long periods of time without anything like it and then suddenly... BOOM... there is a new one happening a couple of times a week.  It usually coincides with major events so as to distract us, it also always is immediately followed (in this case within hours) for a call to disarm the public.  

We have to start thinking far more logically about these things.  We have to start really thinking it through.  Stop accepting the media's story and start digging into what is really going on.  The reason I say this, I live in a larger city with an even larger urban area.  I rarely go downtown any longer, because of the fact that there are so many murders.  Not as bad as say Chicago, Detroit or say Baltimore, but still a substantially large number.  And who knows it could be more than those cities again, I don't work downtown any longer and don't really follow the statistics. 

Yes a mass shooting is horrific and I hope that everyone of the shooters rots in a hot spot for eternity. But the day to day shootings are larger in scope and no one is raising a concern on those.  Ironically, most of the places where gun violence is rampant are "gun free zones", I would assume a criminal feels fairly secure in the knowledge that they won't get shot there.  Our constitution gives us the right to bare arms.  So a gun free zone is a violation of the constitution.  Why are we always balking at the constitution.  If you want to have a gun, have a gun.  

What you cannot do is use that gun to murder.  That is a crime, already on the books, although at least in my city the prosecutors return those murders to the streets almost faster than they can arrest them. So what is the real problem?  The gun?  Or the human?

I am deeply in pain for those parents and loved ones.  I am also deeply in pain for the families of all the victims of random crime daily, where is that spotlight?  Where is the call to pay attention?  To see that the young man of yesterday had posted pictures on social media with his weapons and thoughts days before... that made me ill.  That means people knew he had issues that were bubbling.  But let's focus on the gun, an inanimate object that cannot act on it's own.  

There have been many other methods used to kill people.  Not just guns.  In the past few decades... there have been bombs made from fertilizer, pressure cookers, or possibly even planes (although, again I have my doubts).  What is the deeper reason here? What are we being distracted from?  Is it the skyrocketing cost of fuel?  Or groceries?  The fact that these incredibly weird weather patterns are affecting crops, particularly wheat (no I don't eat it, but millions do).  Or maybe it is they are trying to sneak in another "illness", ya know the one that has been around since the 50's?

When you have time to be still, to not be focused on the day to day distractions of a career, school, etc you also have time to process what is going on around you. The more I have that quiet time, the more questions I have.  As I am chopping or prepping for my next canning adventure I have lots of time to think about things.  Or when I am sitting quietly knitting or sewing.  While I am in my garden.  During these activities I am not worried about staffing, upcoming deadlines, budgets or anything else.  I am focused on our life.  When that noise level is so peaceful, there is so much that becomes bright and clear. 

All around us businesses are closing.  Rents are being raised on the small businesses by mega corporations that benefit either way, if it is filled they have income, if it is sitting empty they have a tax write off.  If the community suffers because of it, they really don't care. Some of them can't get inventory or supplies.  And most are struggling to figure out a business model that doesn't require as many people to keep the doors open. 

Could I go back to work, fill one of those holes.  Of course.  But that isn't what I want to do with my life, it isn't what Hubs wants me to do. Will I if needed, of course.  For us that isn't a need at this moment.  For this moment I am focused on what Hubs and I need.  I have a good number of friends that also see what is going on in a different light than the media wants us to.  They struggle with finding time for the things that I am able to do right now.  They worry about the rising costs and how to make ends meet.  They also know that an increase in pay is only going to equal an increase in costs, so you live in that proverbial catch 22.  

I don't have solutions.  I absolutely don't have answers.  There are people that are far more intelligent and forward thinking than I am that are going to come forward with those.  I feel more like the one that will be there to help fill the gap while these things are sorted out.  My old fashioned soul will help others learn.  Thinking about the passion with sour dough breads that occurred in 2020, was that a warning shot to learn to be self-sufficient?  I don't know.  

Today will involve some canning, a bit of sewing (I have to hem a set of curtains to block the blazing sun that we encounter each summer), a run to the grocery store (yes, I am up for the dose of panic and depression it will bring), cleaning my house and getting dinner ready for a visit from our eldest.  I'm not going to be working on solutions to global issues.  I'm going to be focusing on what I am feeling called to do by my heart and soul during those quiet times.  I'm working on the smallest of issues.  Maybe if we are all focusing on the smallest of issues instead of all the distractions, we might accidentally solve a lot of those huge issues. 

I offer it every time I think about it.  I am available to share any knowledge I have acquired over my lifetime, I am a sponge for any new knowledge you want to share with me.  I will always bow my head and lift up a prayer request the moment I see it, and I will always focus on sending love and light into our universe.  

The thing is, none of us are wrong, we are all looking at things through different lenses and perceptions.  Some of us are being shown things very differently than others.  The trick is how do we work together to reach the pure truth?  

Who knows... I don't... I'm just going to keep on, keeping on.  I'm going to pay attention to what is going on around me and I am going to focus on a better future for all of us.  Sadly, I feel in my heart that we are going deeper into a very dark time, and that it is only united and together that we come out on the other side to love and light.  Count me in, I'm prepared to be someone that is willing to work together to get there. 

Mom!!!  She took my bone again....

Okay... that is enough... I need to get busy doing the things and processing my feelings and thoughts along with tomatoes, peaches and blackberry juice.  And possibly some jalapeno's before they die on the vine. 

peace and love...   

dealing with humanness...

I don't know about you, but I am tired of ugly.  It seems the only thing the stupid lock-downs accomplished was removing even more civility and grace from society. And it wasn't like we had a lot to begin with.  It is mind numbing and makes me weary.  Maybe it is why I stay to myself, keeping my distance from most people and working on living my best life with those that I feel closest to?  I am terribly afraid that I would go crazy and suffer from lack of sleep constantly if I was still forced to be out in the world at this point. 

My daughter took a four month break from social media recently. Yes I admit I missed some of her witty comments and pictures of the grands. But I understood, sometimes we all need to step away from things that are causing us anxiety. People tend to at least show some grace and understanding when they are face to face. 

I know I have mentioned a few times that I am really trying to get to know my neighbors, after almost 8 years, I know very few, yet these are the people in my actual space bubble. I long for the days of front porches.  I yearn to have relationships that were similar to my life as a military family, where you could count on your neighbors to be your support group, to be there for you through whatever life threw at you, even from day one.  

I miss having neighbors that might have driven me nuts as their children ran through the apartment over my head at all hours, because they were also the same neighbors that rushed to your side when there was a need of any kind.  I miss those days. 

Now, if you have ever lived in military housing you probably feel I have lost my mind.  It's a tough environment, without much space for daily living.  I planted so many balcony gardens just to have a small bit of green around me.  I loathed climbing countless stairs to walk dogs, bring in groceries (ask me how I became a master at loading grocery bags for one trip), dragging my laundry up and down the stairs and praying that the family before me had left the laundry room at least semi clean and usable. I have listened to more domestic arguments than I ever needed to hear and you always knew which kids spent the most time in trouble. 

Looking back on it all though, I might have rose colored glasses.  

I lived on military bases that were bombed, when 9/11 happened (wanna talk about being locked down...), through potential tsunami's (close enough to the beach that I could see it from my bedroom window).  I lived on bases where the military members were deploying constantly, where you could be evacuated at any moment, where you were taught to look under your car with a mirror to insure that it didn't have bombs, where you didn't flinch when your doctor showed up to examine you in full chem-gear. I experienced having power of attorney's to act as guardian for single parents in case of deployment. I lived on an island where the groceries didn't arrive on a regular basis and by the time they did some of it would be stale and crushed.  I could probably list the things I have experienced for days and it would make it sound horrible and sad. 

Yet, what I remember was the friendships, gathering our kids together for play dates or crafts, being there when someone suffered a loss, watching each others kids and/or dogs, everyone rallying together to make sure that everyone had enough, people cared about one another.  There were welcome gifts and frankly committees that made sure everyone got welcomed and knew the lay of the land on day one.  

If your car broke down someone would always offer you a ride, because getting them fixed or replaced wasn't always as easy as it is today. I remember my car being in the shop for a full month, I needed wheel bearings or something like that replaced.  I also remember thinking at the time, thank goodness my beater car is an Audi and this is Germany, it won't take any time at all, and should be pretty cheap (the car only cost $2500) well, evidently that meant nothing. Because it was in the base shop so all the parts had to come from the US and the cost was doubled because of it. I was without transportation for a long while with a newborn and a 6 year old and deployed husband.  My neighbors never missed a beat, they were always by my side helping to carry the load. 

We volunteered in the community to make sure we had everything we needed.  I am still friends with some of those folks, from over 40 years ago, we might not see one another often or at all as we are like dandelion petals and are scattered around the globe.  But if one of us needs something, we are all there to help. A few have drifted out of my life, but I would still be there for them the minute they called. 

The reason I am walking down memory lane, is because of where we are now.  Today.  In this time on our planet.  It is making me so nostalgic for the past. Everywhere I turn there is more divisiveness, people show little to no compassion, grace, understanding or care for their fellow humans.  It's the lowest time I have ever experienced and I don't feel it is getting any better.  In fact I would say it is getting more and more bitter. 

I was looking over our neighborhood Facebook page.  Scrolling back through days and weeks of posts.  It was heartbreaking.  It was full of negative and slightly aggressive comments and behaviors. Assumptions that everything is out there to make you angry or to inconvenience someone. 

That the feral cats are needing to be rounded up and gotten rid of, don't think about the fact that someone has taken care of them for years, they are all fixed and not harming anyone - but hey sorry they were sunning themselves on your deck - definitely round them up and take them to be destroyed. 

Or maybe that people aren't only walking their dogs in the common area, even though there isn't a sidewalk in the common area, or maybe they are sitting their bagged poop on the side of the road to pick up on their return trip because there are no trash cans in the neighborhood to dispose of it in and holding it and and dog leash might be a challenge. Or maybe it is the fact that someone is leaving kitty treats in the common area for the local kitties. Heaven forbid a kindness is offered up.  It is complaining about this, that or the other almost non-stop.  

There were bright spots.  A neighbor asked to borrow a wheelbarrow. I would have loaned him one of my two, but we gave them to our daughter when we moved here, our yard is not wheelbarrow friendly.  I was so proud of my girl when I saw she was not only the first to reply, but she also went down and helped the neighbor move all of that mulch (she was raised in a military community FYI). Or the warning about the car parked right near the entrance, our subdivision has a odd entrance if approaching from the left and it's off a busy, busy road. Sadly there was an accident caused by that individual parking there, even sadder was the neighbor that said the person that got hit should have been more careful, instead of having an issue with a car parked in a location that was dangerous. 

There are sometimes uplifting things.  Other's it is just plain ugly. 

I'm simply tired of ugly.  I have reached the point that I don't want to walk my babies in the neighborhood, afraid that their existence is going to offend someone.  Heck, I don't want to walk in my own neighborhood because of the fact that people are just so darn ugly at times.  Half of them act offended if you say hello, the other half are offended if you didn't see them and say hello.  It's insane. 

I want to be part of a community.  I want to lift up and support my neighbors.  Watch each other's houses, mow each other's lawns when something is stopping them from mowing it themselves.  I want to share stuff from our gardens and step in to help when needed. Heck, in 8 years I have not once had a neighbor knock on my door to borrow a cup of sugar!  Am I that unapproachable? Are they?

I'm guilty of the same.  I get annoyed when the neighbors on the other side of the cul de sac have 10 cars parked on both sides of the street, and it is almost impossible to get through to my own driveway.  Although I was incredibly sad that the neighbors having work done on their deck felt they needed to personally deliver a letter of apology for the inconvenience the trailer for the contractor might have caused. 

I'm not a fan of the garden boxes the neighbors have randomly plopped in their front yard, they are huge, unsightly and just.... no words.  I don't like that every Wednesday - late Thursday I am picking up garbage from the neighbors down the street that just pile empty boxes and containers on top of an open trashcan without a care that they will be everywhere within an hour.  I might have celebrated when the corner neighbor put the for sale sign in his front yard - thankful that I would no longer be listening to him dropping heavy weights, refusing to mow his grass and leaving his gate open so his dog chased us. Yes, I am guilty just the same.  

Those things annoy me. But the reality is, there isn't much parking on our street and we do have several families that leave vehicles sitting there for weeks on end, maybe there is a reason?  Maybe their grown children had to move back home?  Maybe their parents had to move in?  Or they are staying with an elderly family member. Grace is not all that common any longer. 

Maybe the neighbors with the garden boxes are struggling to make ends meet and as a result are hoping to grow some of their food to supplement their income and their backyard is like my front yard - very little sunshine or space. 

For the trash folks... I am still struggling to find a positive for that, although I know the lady that lives there is very elderly and frail and has family members staying with her to take care of her.  Maybe they are finding enough time to get the trash out and that is all?  Or they may not even realize it is blowing away because other's are picking it up. 

We are all flawed humans.  We are all suffering with our humanness. We do things that might annoy, seem thoughtless, or actually be thoughtless without realizing it.  It seems that all the two years of shutdown and disconnection have taught us is that we do not have to treat others kindly, forget about having grace or compassion. I am also seeing that many of those that are lashing out, are the very ones that were lashed at in the past.  Do two wrongs make a right?  Did I miss that lesson somewhere? 

None of us are perfect, none of us do the right thing all the time (because right depends on the interpretation of someone else), none of us are an island unto ourselves.  Maybe it's time for a few less rules, a bit less rigidness and a lot more understanding, care and compassion. I'm tired of the insanity, the ugly, the selfishness.  

I guess I need to spend some time processing where my feelings are, and then... wasn't it Gandhi that said to be the change you want to see in the world?  I was so impressed with the woman that manages our community Facebook page, because she flat out called everyone out, it's time for a kinder, gentler and more loving world.  Step up people!  I am working on doing the same!

love and peace... 

getting lost...

The fire is gently crackling, sweet Hubs built me a beautiful one to enjoy on this cold and rainy morning.  Or maybe he built it for the pups, not sure, but thankful just the same.  I'm a bit behind my normal schedule this morning because I decided to sit and enjoy it and do some of the stitching on the quilt.  I'm almost finished with it.  Just need to finish attaching the binding, I decided to do it by hand, it simply looks so much prettier. 

The silence and the fire feel calming to my soul today.  I decided to take a short nap yesterday and paid dearly for it last night.  I couldn't get to sleep, so we start another day feeling less than rested because of it. I don't care how sleepy I get today, I am definitely not giving in.  That was far too many hours to read and lay in silence with nothing but my thoughts. 

My thoughts have been pretty deep and definitely not a sunshine playground lately. Wandering through them in the darkness of night is a touch too much.  Instead, I ultimately tried to loose myself in meditation instead.  It's hard sometimes to simply close off your thoughts and focus on nothing.  I've been struggling a lot with it lately, which probably means that I need to spend more time doing just that. 

I have never been consistent at simply stopping, and working on clearing my mind.  I can lose myself in a guided meditation, but then wonder when I am done if that was what I needed or simply what I picked.  It's scary to me to release myself to wherever the meditation wants me to go.  Digging around into things that probably need healing is a touch unnerving. The what if's start to rage and rant.  What if I have to face something about myself that I am not ready to heal?  What if it opens up wounds that are long since buried? 

Laying in the darkness last night, not able to sleep, I definitely worked to clear my thoughts. Lately,  I have felt drawn more intensely to my own spirituality and the need for meditation, or rather feeling the lack of practicing both.  I've felt pulled back into making time for the peace and beauty in these things. 

Before the puppies and also before my knee surgery, I would silence myself and meditate every day.  I would light a candle, put on either a guided meditation or simply listen to someone playing crystal bowls while I closed my eyes and simply lost my ego self in the solitude. I can remember Neeko sneaking up on me and planting a big wet kiss while I was lost in that space in time.  

I haven't been good at practicing for a while.  My mind got wrapped up in the fact that I am still not able to sit lotus style (like that is a critical point?? Seriously??) I mean, my yoga pillow is still in the truck as I learned it was the perfect height to rest my leg on when traveling.  I had too much rattling around in my head, sitting quietly had become uncomfortable, not the sweet haven it was during some of my most restless times. Losing myself and simply being was not something I would allow for the past few months. 

Ironically, I drew my card this morning and it basically scolded me for not following "my temple path". I used to take long solitary walks in the Botanical Gardens - it's been two years since I did that. I used to keep the first 30 - 45 minutes of my day sacred for mediation and energy work. I used to refuse to pick up my phone during that time, unwilling to allow my electronic leash to engage me and bring negativity into my space. 

As I have been recovering my body, I have been neglecting my inner self.  Anyone else find they do that?  

I've noticed over the past few weeks that I have been finding quiet time when the babies are sleeping that I am tuning this 3D world out.  I am focusing on that vast nothingness that brings peace.  I am feeling drawn into needing that space more and more.  

I didn't light a candle this morning, instead I sat in extreme silence.  The pups were sleeping on my bed and I definitely did not want to disturb them.  Hubs was outside taking care of the trash and doing Hubs stuff.  So I sat in silence, I thought about what my card was telling me, I thought about the readers that I have seen over the past year.  Each of them encouraging me to spend more time in meditation. 

For over 9 months I have been on a physical journey, all of my energy and focus has been poured into that.  I have focused deeply on ingraining healthy eating habits, on being mindful of what I consume and giving thanks for it.  I have tried (often unsuccessfully) to drink enough water on a daily basis during that time.  I have intensely focused on recovering from my knee replacement, pushing my physical limits and healing my body. 

I feel like I am doing fairly well in that area, still work that needs to happen, but it feels like it is under control. Now it feels like I am ready to add back in a daily meditation practice.  A conscious effort to calm my inner self and to focus on the higher good.  It's time to be still. 

I find I spend more time that I want drifting back into scrolling through social media, I lose precious moments watching videos and snippets that people share.  And I feel dragged into it, mindlessly.  Then I question if that isn't the plan.  Last night I spent hours playing a mindless game on my phone.  I was tired, too tired to function was how I justified it to myself.  I'd seen snippets of the game on my phone for weeks and it lured me in, I love to work on mind puzzles.  So I downloaded it and started playing.  

I felt like it was actually controlling me.  For lack of a better way to explain the feeling, the sensation that lingered on the edges of time. I kept mentally saying I was closing my eyes and going to sleep and then I would complete a level and think "okay just one more level and I will".  At no point did it give me a sense of calmness or accomplishment, it just lingered there begging for more attention.  I've found this to happen more than a few times over the advent of all these electronic devices.  I no longer lose myself in books.  Or even in the physical act of playing a game of solitaire.  Yet hours can be stolen on nonsense. 

In the silence, while I sat stitching this morning, I felt those missing pieces.  I sat listening to the crackle, marveling at the tiny stitches (proud of myself for not being that rusty).  I didn't experience that empty feeling. I need more of that in my life. 

As you can see, my deeper thoughts are leading me to a better place as a human.  To being more fulfilled and having a stronger focus on things that are fulfilling.  I think that is where I find the joy in cooking, baking, gardening, creating (in whatever medium I decide that day) it's that deep sense of accomplishment.  Not only in the action of doing, but in the sense of being deeply engaged and part of the creation. 

Well... puppies are resting, my coffee is hot,  the fire is warm and crackling and I have a lot of tiny stitches to get put into this quilt.  It's time to sit and focus on the friends that I am making it for.  To put lots of love and good vibes into it so they will feel it when they sit beneath it on a similar cool and rainy day. 

love and peace... 

life goals...

Another toy bites the dust, these babies are definitely brutal killers.  Lambchop didn't stand a chance, all in the quest of the coveted squeaker. Too bad for them that mommy saw it fall out first as I was cleaning up the second batch of stuffing that blanketed the living room. Sure beats trying to catch the one with it in their mouth to keep babies from choking. 

Yep, that is the way my life goes.  I love it!  Hubs and I are determined to get these two little terror tots housebroken, so this morning before the sun even thought about peeking over the horizon we took them for the first of their long walks.  They are still a bit nervous in the darkness so we usually just do a quick potty stop and let them back in.  I definitely believe today started a new chapter for us.  

We ran into a couple that we absolutely adore, they are almost my couple goals.  Everyday they head out armed with trash pickers and bags and go for long walks around not only our neighborhood but the surrounding community.  They are kind to everyone and they love animals and stop and love on everyone of them that is willing to be loved on.  They carry treats for the neighborhood indoor/outdoor cats and the feral cats that roam.  They love our grand cat Franklin and always stop to ask us about him.  Just yesterday we had seen them on their walk and they asked about Franklin.  We told them that he had a tumor and had to have surgery (our daughter is such a great pet mom) he will be inside mostly for the next 3 to 9 months as he recovers, because he needs medication every 8 hours while he heals. 

This morning as I was sitting here drinking coffee I got a text from my daughter.  They had bought a get well card and treats for Franklin. I almost cried. The pure goodness in the world sometimes is too much for me.  They don't know my girl, they've met  her during the Halloween parade, but they went out of their way to find a beautiful get well card that has a kitty that looks like Franklin on it and took the time to wish him well as he recovers.  

These are the same people that give the greatest Halloween treats to all of the kids in the neighborhood, not just generic treats but full size candies or small toys that will bring them joy.  They take the time to collect them and then stand their and help the kiddo's select from the plethora of items.  Often allowing those eager little hands to have one for each hand.  A sweet and a treat. 

Like I said, serious couple goals. 

I loved the feeling when I read that text message.  I loved knowing that there is such strong goodness flowing heavily all around us.  It got me to thinking about blankets of goodness that are covering our world, often invisible to the naked eye, only able to be seen and felt in the heart. 

My own sweet Hubs is one of those guys.  He is often scouting out used toys, bikes, basketball hoops, guitars are some of the things that come to mind, he fixes them up and always seems to have a list of kids that would love them, even when their parents might not have the money to get them for their babies. He simply donates as needed.  A year round Santa Claus. 

One of our friends took his own lunch break yesterday to help us identify where the electrical short was for our grand daughters play room.  In exchange for lunch, he helped Hubs find and fix the problem.  If she had needed to call an electrician it would have cost her far more than the nothing it cost.  Ended up the light switch blew, Hubs and I had one sitting around - from changing out the lights in my sewing room. So 15 minutes of time, problem was identified and repaired. All for the price of a wonderful lunch with a friend and a dish of homemade keto snicker bites. 

We have another neighbor that has a small mailbox of puppy treats below her mailbox.  She has them there for all the neighborhood puppies to have a small snack on their walks, in honor of our retired mail lady who always gave out treats to all the pups.  Hubs and I are so inspired by it that we will be making our own pup treat box, we are also going to put some poo bags in there, because all too often folks either run out or forget them. This is the same neighbor that arranged to have our neighborhood lending library created. 

Doing good for others simply feels good. It spreads and feels contagious.  I think that is the kind of contagion that we need to start spreading. 

I've been thinking heavily about the things I wrote about yesterday.  It's one thing to identify the holes or problems, it is quite another to bring about solutions.  My daughter and I were talking about things that were lacking which is one of the things that led to yesterday's thoughts.  She is looking to run for trustee in our neighborhood and she was talking about some of the community building things she is interested in implementing.  One of them being encouraging people with skills to share them with others in the neighborhood.  We have people that are incredible gardeners, some photographers, a crazy number of us are skilled at multiple crafts and skills.  

All of those things have been moving around in my brain.  My life is so different than it was, I have a lifetime of experiences that I could pass on.  Do I think a lot of kids or even adults for that matter want someone to help them learn some of those skills?  No idea. But I am one of those older people I was asking about.  I am someone that has knowledge and information to pass forward.  Now to just figure out how.

The first person to share their love of creating with me that I remember was my Greek landlord when we lived on the island of Crete, her daughter was right around my age, she assumed that I would be able to create the same beautiful tapestries that Maria could (oh heck, I can't believe I just remembered that name out of thin air).  I couldn't come close and disappointed her greatly.  I'd never learned.  I was only in the 5th grade, I didn't have the skill set available to me. Even though Maria had about a quarter of her hope chest filled with beautiful pieces to fill her home when she married, all done by herself, I had never stuck a needle through a piece of fabric in my life.  I'd created Barbie clothes with glue and scissors, but never more than that.  I remember the sting of letting mamas' down.  She'd invested time and energy into fueling my own desire for the handmade, for the ancient homemaking skills and I let her down. Maria had been stitching since she was barely 5 years old.  I couldn't hold a needle and was making a terrible mess. 

I would love to share the knowledge that I have worked so hard to obtain with others.  I simply have to figure out how I am going to do it. I mean do you simply put up an ad?  Do you make flyers?  Do you knock on doors.  Wow, this reconnecting with community is confusing and complicated. 

Well, that is enough pondering today.  The babies are sleeping and I have things to finish before they awaken to start playing again.... more things to think about.  Open to ideas and suggestions... 

much love and peace...