what in the world...

Can we talk about intentionality? 

As the sun is peeking over the horizon this morning the topic has been heavy on my mind.  Since listening to Rory and Jess speak, it's basically all I have been thinking about.  I think intentionality, commitment and passion all tie together.  There are a few other things that fit in there nicely, but those are the ones that are seriously resonating with me right now. 

I got up fairly early, I usually do. Some mornings I grab my coffee, I sit in my chair and I simply sit.  I start the day off in a semi-vegetable state and then find myself stuck in that mindset for hours.  Other days, like today I jump right in.  Both feet hit the ground, my mind starts off saying not today Satan and I move into full busy mode.  

In both cases I firmly believe I set my own intentionality.  Did I linger too long on social media?  Did I find myself without ambition for the day and not really question why?  Or did I reflect on the things waiting for my attention and jump right in. Did I listen to the voice in my head encouraging me to do the things that make a difference?

Wednesday mornings usually mean little social time with Hubs in the morning.  He has a super early meeting and he is semi-obsessive about being super caught up before it starts.  As much as I hate it, I absolutely admire that dedication and commitment level. Recently, I'd found myself drifting into a habit of more or less pouting instead of doing what I usually do, getting busy and doing the things I need to do. 

For some reason today was different.  As I drank my first cup of coffee I wandered through my task list.  Stopping here and there for a sip as I worked on different things vying for my attention. Within the first hour of being awake I had finished the laundry, cleaned the washer, watered the newly planted garden beds, fed the dogs, prepped 4 large jars of red bud petals to steep for jelly, and swept the deck and kitchen. I feel unstoppable at this point. 

What I didn't do was linger on social media, I didn't clean out the 100's of spam that miraculously appear in my email inbox several times a day, I didn't linger over things outside of my realm of control. 

pepper plant

radishes

lilac

lettuce

I was intentional. 

Yesterday afternoon Hubs and I were both exhausted. We always are after a trip.  Yet we both knew the red bud bloom only lasts for a few short weeks and we were pushing the outer limits, if we were going to harvest any we needed to get on it. 

While picking red bud blossoms and dodging ticks (do not get me started on that topic!) I spent some time pondering why we are so tired after a camping trip.  Especially one that is full of down time and relaxation. It is a good tired.  It finally clicked. 

We are tired because we have spent time being intentional.  We focus on things that bring us closer together, we sleep little (not because our bed isn't comfy or anything like that) it's because we spend hours talking, playing cards, taking hikes, enjoying the sunshine and fresh air.  

We got home and immediately went to a friend's 70th birthday dinner.  In fact since Thursday night, we have had limited time for connection to the internet, to television, to external influences.  Even last night involved picking flowers and then spending an evening connecting with one of our girls and our grands. 

We didn't watch television or spend time on social media, we talked, we laughed, we did crafts with the little dragon and shared a family meal gathered around the kitchen island.  The sun had long set when we headed home so the littlest could get to bed and we could feed the pups. 

It was all intentional.  Hubs watched a few moments of television, during which time he had an epiphany regarding all of the ads and marketing that are pervasive on television, the radio, email, social media, heck it's even on your weather apps and games.  It's blatant, non-stop brainwashing.  Long gone are the days of subtlety when it appeared they just wanted to market a product to you. I can't remember the last time I saw a commercial for a product like a car, clothing, home, etc.

Again... intentional.  As we have become more addicted to the electronic devices in our hands and homes the brainwashing has become more and more intense. 

I found myself reflecting yet again on what Rory and Jess had spoken of. I don't believe I could be as extreme as Rory.  I do remember the days before all of the technology.  I was blessed to grow up with limited television channels and basically a state controlled radio (I mean come on, the military picked everything we listened to or watched). 

I remember the simplicity of playing solitaire with an actual deck of cards.  Or reading books for hours, not always simply for learning, but exploring the world of make believe and fantastic places.  Although as I have often stated, I was usually the one deeply wrapped up in the little house series.  Longing for that life, wondering if I was born too late. 

Would I love to go back to a time when we could talk, about anything? A time without censuring our words and thoughts, at least in a politically motivated manner.  Heck I even remember when the phrase "politically correct" came into existence.  Yes I do believe all of it has been intentional.  Everywhere you look someone is pushing, forcing, challenging, stirring up hatred and deceit.  I can't even go there with half of it.  I don't have the energy to have conversations with people that are so completely brainwashed.  The ones that will believe whatever they are told, that have stopped questioning everything, that have given in to slow and insidious process that has been taking place. 

I don't want to be part of that kind of intentionality. 

I want to be intentional, committed and passionate about the principals of the Bible.  Satan has been waging war for a very long time, my heart breaks to see how much damage has been done.  Jesus died so that we could be forgiven of the very fact of being human, of being flawed.  I realize that many religions do not believe that.  I respect that, I support your right to believe what you do.  But watching things today, I don't feel it's a two way street. 

While we were in the heart of Missouri, away from the cities and the connectivity, the connection to life, to God, to people was so much stronger.  We engaged in random conversations with complete strangers, we gathered to listen to music, to thank each other for being and doing. There were billboards encouraging prayer and asking what would Jesus do?  It was peaceful. 

This dance between worlds is becoming far more difficult. I am finding it harder and harder to stay a participant in the hatred and division that is being sown on a daily basis.  The battle is raging.  When a channel that you watch regarding earthquakes has to step up and say "folks I feel compelled to let you know that in the battle of good and evil I am on God's side, I am making a stand." That resonates, the battle is getting stronger by the moment.  

I find I need to be more intentional myself.  I need to focus on the things the Lord is asking of me, I need to focus in on that voice that I hear in my head and heart.  The one I have let life and external forces shout down. 

Jess's approach to the internet and connectivity is a far more workable solution for me.  She runs her entire business on the internet, it is needed and required. I get it. Yet she can't run her farm if that is the only place she lives. Timers are set, boundaries on important. 

But oh I do long for the days gone by, when we spoke to one another, shared ideas and tasks.  Even for a natural introvert like myself those days long past are the kind of wonderful memories too many kids today will not possess.  

I made myself a shirt, the phrase just kept resonating in my heart and mind... "Normal isn't coming back, Jesus is Rev. 14". I wore it and another one while we were out in the country almost non-stop it was on my outer sweatshirt.  I received many compliments and smiles regarding it.  I haven't worn it here in the city, I am wondering the reaction I will get.  

I don't really care.  I am intentionally stating the fact that I am on God's side.  I will live my life to honor him. 

Hey... if you made it this far in my ramblings... thanks... The world is going nuts.  We are being used as pawns in a battle far greater than we are and we are all expendable. We have to make the choice to be free, sovereign children of God or to be slaves to others that wish to control us, to benefit from our labor and servitude. 

All of us have free will, all of us have the ability to make our own choices and our own decisions.  I guess it depends one the voices that we are choosing to listen to as we make those choices. Anyone remember the cartoon of an angel on one shoulder and a devil on the other... 

The choice is ours.  We simply have to decide to be intentional, committed and passionate about our choices. 

love and prayers... 

filling my moments...

I wonder how I will deal with losing an hour this year?  Last year I still worked outside of the house, I spent weeks trying to adjust to the time change.  It's simply not my thing, I wish they would pick one of the times and stay with it.  This bouncing back and forth is simply annoying in my opinion.  So many people struggle to reset their own circadian  rhythms after each one.  Not to mention either showing up super late or super early for everything, because inevitably you have forgotten to reset at least one clock - usually the one you needed at that moment. 

Sadly, not only did I lose an hour, I also woke up stupid early this morning.  I simply couldn't sleep any longer.  Meaning I will probably be fussy and exhausted super early tonight. Ugghhh... not the way I had planned to enjoy this day.  The weather is supposed to be wonderful, pushing into the 60's.  I am ready.  

The only good thing about getting up this early, we were able to take the pups walking at the park down the road at first light. They encountered 4 deer just feet away from them, they weren't really sure what to think about them, so they sat quiet as little statues at mom's feet as they always do when they are faced with something new. They are so funny about that.  They also encountered a doodle, they definitely weren't sure about that one and unfortunately the dad didn't have good control of his pup so we couldn't let them meet up.  Although all three of them seemed to want to. 

I'm sure today is going to have several long fun walks in it.  There are a couple of trails that we want to take the pups to, there are a few I would love to go walk, but frankly - the price of gas is definitely a deterrent to that plan. 

Sunflower Sensations

I've been working on a few different treats for the babies over this week.  Trying to discover what they like and dislike.  Same with their food.  I've discovered anything with cheese, peanut butter, or liver are instant winners when making treats.  They are eating the Sunflower Sensations, but they are not a team favorite.  Belle will munch them when offered.  Beau will only accept it if you break it up first. 

Liver Bites (fan favorite)

I have also discovered that Belle does not like spinach in her food.  Beau is far less picky, food is food and he was willing to be the guinea pig that ate his sisters when she walked away from it.  Well, they luckily only have two days more to eat it, she ate it last night, this morning the nose went straight up in the air.  She's my snooty one. 

I am probably going to make three different treats today.  I want to try a few others.  Carrot, cheese and liver will be on the menu.  They love carrots and will eat those raw, so it's worth the try. 

Who knows before long it might be worth the time and energy to look into a puppy treat business.  I love spoiling my babies and I am sure that I am not the only one. For many, many years I have had a deep distrust of all the crud they put in dog food and treats.  I think the fact that I cooked for my boys was one of the secrets to their longevity.  Big dogs don't usually live to be 16 - 19 years old, and my boys did. I've been doing an immense amount of research on what they need to stay healthy and happy.  And also what to avoid.  Adding to the knowledge that I gathered when my boys were still with us.  

Dad that is my napping spot... 

This gift of time to follow through on ideas and thoughts is so powerful to me.  The ability to follow through on things that have called to me forever, but have always been pushed aside because of the fact that I was working for someone else and that took all my time, is priceless. 

Tomorrow is a soaping day, I haven't really had a true soaping day in a very long time. My girlfriend is coming over and I am going to help her learn how to do a few different kinds.  I know one will be the Citrus Shea, because it's been on my to do list for a couple of weeks. I also love this one that is a rose clay and salt - I have to make sure I have all the ingredients for that one, I haven't made it in a very long time. I also want to make at least one melt and pour, because that is quick and easy and she won't have to wait to take home her treasures.  The cold process ones need six weeks. Who knows we might even make at least one hot process one - not sure, I am not as fond of those now that I have mastered cold process, they aren't as luxurious.  Although they are ready a lot quicker than a cold process, so we'll see.  I have to admit, I'm quite excited about doing this. 

Honestly, she has inspired me to get my dehydrator out and start working on preserving a few things.  Lord knows I have enough canning jars sitting around to store it all in.  A few minutes time would definitely help me prevent any food waste. She sent me photo's last night of their dried peas and sweet potatoes, they were simply beautiful. I know that is a strange way to look at things, but it's how I see them.  

It's also almost time to start gathering red bud flowers and even some spring violets and dandelions.  There are jellies to be made.  I am looking for some sugar-free recipes for Hubs and I, but I have lots of family and friends that are good with sugar and love the fresh jellies. And as Hubs is always saying, if the peanut butter hits the fan, we will simply eat the sugared ones.  

Who knows I might even try a dandelion wine this year, I definitely have the time and energy, and I did notice that my wine fridge is getting a bit lean. Time to stock up again. I definitely have all the supplies to make wine, Hubs boss saw a great buy online - someone was getting out of wine making), and when we didn't rush to get it (we weren't sure we wanted to) he grabbed it for us.  This might be the time to give it a go? 

I'm still working on getting up my courage to actually try cheese.  The books/class hubs bought me was almost terrifying in all the do's and don't's.  It reminds me of when I first learned to make soap.  I was a nervous wreck.  I joined her Facebook groups, etc. But they aren't really active and I wasn't really learning anything.  So I have found a few other beginning cheese making groups and I am finding them engaging and not so terrifying.  I am still trying to source raw milk - another drawback, but am finding from the other groups it might not be my only options as she has led me to believe. So don't worry that hasn't been shuffled to the back burner, there are just a few more steps involved before I can start.  Things like getting Hubs to help me build a press and finding milk to use that hasn't been processed to death. 

Who knows I have a lot projects and ideas that I am pursuing.  Who said not working outside of the house was boring and would make me crazy.  I don't believe it was me. 

Hubs is napping, pups are winding down and I do believe that I am going to go and get busy on some of these things that fill my day and my passion for creating. 

love and peace... 

foraging...

What is that tree with the bright pink flowers?  Have you ever... Definitely how the conversation started. And my latest experiment. My sister and her husband came over for breakfast, I rarely see them so it was a definite treat, and she was standing at the kitchen window looking out at the mini-forest behind my house.  

The Redbud trees had caught her eye. In all fairness, they catch everyone's eyes this time of year.  They are not only beautiful, but plentiful here in eastern Missouri.  And April is definitely their month to shine! No matter where you look you will find a random redbud.  In the midst of evergreens, or standing proud by itself.  It's one of the first signs that spring has arrived. 

At no point while enjoying these beautiful hot pink blossoms did I ever think... hmmm... that would make a great jelly.  I just felt they were beautiful to observe.  That they heralded the arrival of one of my favorite times of the year.  Spring. 

And then my sister tells me that she's been reading about Redbud jelly and wondering if I had tried it. Of course I hadn't.  In fact I was in a bit of disbelief.  I mean I follow a ton of websites that are all about foraging and I am often amazed at the things that people have discovered, forgotten and rediscovered that are not only delicious, but healthy for you.  You know that I immediately started looking for a recipe.  I mean, if one existed, I felt we needed to give it a whirl.  Although I was still quite dubious. 

Those Ozark women were definitely on to something. As Hubs and I headed out to join them a bit later, I was chatting with him about it.  We'd missed our original turn and were turning around on a fairly unused road.  Redbuds all around.  Well... we harvested a bag full, me insisting that it was far more than the two cups needed, Hubs insisting it wasn't close. Ummmm... I was right, but thankfully he was insistent.  Because 3 little jars was never going to be enough as we later discovered. 

After spending a bit of time with them before they headed out of town, we headed home for a few moments to prep those buds. Rinse, stuff, cover with boiling water and wait.  Yep, step one involves waiting.  We know how I feel about waiting. 

I wouldn't get to make it until Saturday.  Tick Tock, don't look at the clock.  We went about enjoying the rest of Friday with Mom, who had made a rare visit to St. Louis.  We chatted about a zillion things, I'm sure, round and round the conversations went, yet in the back of my mind I was thinking jelly! 

Once I get a new thing to try in my head, well, I become a bit obsessive about it. And time was of the essence.  If this turned out as yummy and beautiful as everyone was saying it would, we were definitely running out of time to harvest more of the flowers.  Be still my mind!

Saturday morning, still not time.  It did not stop me from peeking and wondering if folks were full of prunes.  I kept looking at those jars, pale off white colored and doubting that I was going to end up with that vibrant pink jelly.  I read so much about about it in between drive times and visiting. Evidently, it was a common fear.  What did I have to lose?  A couple cups of sugar and a bit of time?

After having breakfast with another sister, her Hubs and Mom we headed off for mom's appointment.  While she was in her meeting, Hubs and I discovered an incredible kitchen gadget store down the road.  We are both HUGE suckers for those kind of stores.  I also felt fate drew us there.  I needed cheesecloth for my jelly making and there it was.  Everywhere in the store. 

I wasn't sure how much time it would take.  Old recipes are rarely accurate in that way. I was stunned at the simplicity and beauty. 

Smashing down the water and flowers into the fine mesh strainer, yielded a beautiful purple liquid.  I was more than a bit perplexed.  

Oh well, maybe it would be purple... Added the lemon juice, pectin and sugar... POP!  All the sudden that regal shade of purple was a trampy shade of hot pink!  I prepped jars as it came to a boil, gently stirred and kept testing consistency.  I saved a small bit for mom and I to taste.  I was not canning it if it was horrible. 

Surprise!  Not only was it not horrible it was was incredible.  It has a very soft grape like flavor and most delightful shade of hot pink ever. My sister returned from her quick trip north to see her in-laws to jelly to try. 

Yesterday morning dawn bright and early, with Hubs and I making the most of our time, out in the sticks picking hot pink flowers, 3 small jars was never going to be enough.  We had plans to meet everyone for baby sisters birthday breakfast and then I had to work all day.  We were definitely on a time budget.  

This time we filled 4 jars and I will make the jelly tonight.  Takes about 15 minutes a batch, which will yield approximately 12 jars of hot pink heaven.  We might share some. I'd say we will gather more this weekend, but snow is predicted tomorrow.  There will be no flowers left after that hits. 

We have definitely made a mark on the calendar to watch for the redbud blossoms next spring.  Now I have moved on to dandelion's.  I am going to ravage the uncared for garden beds at work.  A few cups of blossoms will produce a different kind of jelly.  I am anxious to try it. 

Darn you sis... Have you ever... is the start of a statement that should never be said to me! Thankful for a Hubs that will walk in crazy land with me.  And a sister that will challenge me to try things.