I did a thing...

Gross.  That is the word for today.  Gross.  I always swore I would never live in the mid-west for a reason.  That reason is humidity. I loathe humidity.  I despise feeling like my clothing will be perpetually damp.  My hair becomes uncontrollable, hello ponytails. I can't stand opening the door and feeling like you are trying to breathe in a heavy deep mist.  

Sadly, the humidity has decided to return the past few days.  I am sitting here trying to catch my breath, my glasses are foggy from the dampness of my skin, and I am contemplating shaving my head.  These are not my favorite days.  

Well, frankly other than my gardens, summer is simply not my favorite season.  In the least. 

All the chaos and rains of the early week put me behind on my outdoor tasks.  Meaning that darn grass that we have been nurturing since having to take down our tree had an extra 3 days of rain and sunshine mix.  Meaning not only was it horrible to mow because of the humidity keeping it damp, it's grown probably a good inch higher in those few days.  My thirty minutes of yard work rapidly expanded to more than an hour.  Granted it was only 78°, completely in my comfort range, until you factor in humidity. 

Okay... completely done whining about humidity... maybe... I am fairly positive today is going to be a completely inside kind of day.  Actually, I know it is. I have a bushel of tomatoes waiting to be canned and tons of inside projects to get busy on. 

feel ya mom... 

So about getting busy... I did a thing yesterday.  I officially committed to Waste Knot, Want Knot and signed up for my first ever two day event.  Thankfully, I have almost two months, because to say I am not ready is a massive understatement.  In fact I have nothing made. 

I have decided to build this dream on a premise of upcycling, repurposing and finishing treasures that got abandoned along the way.  Every time I wander through antique stores and flea markets I am drawn to those items that someone put many hours into.  Those old quilts and quilt blocks, the unfinished and abandoned.  I treasure finding beautiful needlework that has been damaged or worn.  My brain immediately shifts into high gear, I want to salvage that for the original makers memory.  I want it to be useful and functional once more. 

Mom is wearing us out... she's crazy

When I see the remains of our consumer driven society, I always want to explore ways to find more uses for all of it. Tatter clothing?  Okay. Picture frames?  Old trays and furniture?  Old ceiling fan blades? Sure why not? The entire premise is that everything can be made into something beautiful and useful again and again.  You just have to look past the lumps, the bumps, the things of the past and change it into something new and give it a life again (hmmm... sounds familiar).

If you've read my blog for awhile (first off... serious kudos to you) you know that I flit.  I am worse than a bird looking for worms.  I don't have one medium that is a deep burning all consuming passion, I have many.  And I bounce between them.  If you come to my house, you will see that most of the furnishings are upcycled thrift store finds.  Shoot some of it is from Hubs' dumpster dives as he puts it. 

For a few weeks now I've felt an overwhelming need to dive in.  I mean the name popped in my head while I was blow drying my hair and definitely not thinking about working on anything, well... except straightening out my hair against the humidity. Yet there is was, spelling and all... Insane.

For months I have been deeply engrossed in finishing things.  In salvaging treasures.  So much so that some of the projects I have wanted to do have been shuffled to the back corner for another time. As I have been focused on these tasks, more ways to do more things alone the same vein bubbled up. I am finding myself almost consumed with it.  

one of Great Gramma's blocks

So yesterday, I took the leap.  I paid the money and I made a commitment.  My sister was a driving force even though she might not realize it.  As I was toying with the idea and trying to talk myself out of it.  I'd asked if she wanted to help me fill a space, at first she declined.  Understandably so.  She's super talented, but she is also stupid busy!  She works crazy hours, she is one of the most dedicated grandparents I have ever met and she is always doing something to make life easier for someone else.  I mean seriously... where was she going to find the time.  

Score one for talking myself out of committing. 

this guy is always walking in sunshine 💙

Then slowly, but surely, I started receiving text messages.  Maybe she would be able to.  She and her Hubs were free without any commitments both weekends, so we could pick either one.  She started sending me pictures of her ideas... 

One thing led to another, and I found myself filling out the application yesterday.  It's a done deal now. 

So this morning after I start the tomato sauce simmering I will officially start on my newest project. I am refusing to allow myself to talk myself out of this (I know... I know... I am super good at talking myself out of things).  I am working hard on silencing that inner "I can't" voice.  I am learning that it isn't an I can't issue, it's an "I'm afraid of failure" issue.  Time to focus on Philippians 4:13.

Okay, as comfy as this chair is, it's time to start on those tomatoes, because they are not jumping into the roaster on their own. Trust me I've waited a couple of days to test it... not happening. 

love and prayers... 

lost...

I spent a lot of time in prayer last night.  Hubs and I decided we should watch the president speaking in Philadelphia.  We try not to live in an echo chamber, to be well versed in everything going on around us.  I mean after all it was supposedly the leader of the free world speaking to our entire country. 

I guess I should have been concerned when it wasn't broadcast on any of the network channels, I guess I'm showing my age, because I remember when the president spoke it was carried on live television.  And based on the title of the speech, it seemed that it should be something that was on all of the national channels.  I did hear it was covered on CNN, but I do not pay for any of those channels, I refuse to pay for non-stop brainwashing on either side. 

Maybe it's because I was raised in foreign countries, maybe it's because I have seen first hand the damages causes by the type of rhetoric that I listened to last night. Or maybe it was because I was listening with the intent to fully understand.  Whatever the reason, I was sick to my stomach.  I was up for half the night deep in prayer for our country and world. 

Last night was heart breaking, on top of the extremely eerie vibes of the lighting and the ambiance, which seemed deliberately set.  Whatever happened to the days of our presidents sitting in front of a fire place, chatting with us as if we were friends and neighbors. 

Last night broke my heart. Over my adulthood we have had presidents that I did not care for, their words and actions didn't align with my values. I've never even considered that gave me the right to demonize those who thought differently than I do. 

Oddly, looking through various social media last night, my blood turned cold with the hatred and go get them attitude that seemed to resonate in many places.  I prayed that those were bots, I prayed that those were simply AI, programmed to stir the pots.  I prayed that we the American people had not actually slide to the low that we were incapable of seeing through the hatred spewed in the bloody red darkness (fading to pink if you were watching CNN from the videos I watched later).  I prayed that the American people are stronger and better than all of that.  

We are God's nation.  We are strong, we are good people that care for one another.  We pull together even when we can't agree, we search for the common ground.  Aren't we?

If you changed the term the president kept repeating over and over again, to any number of other terms, it would have sent people into an actual tailspin of condemnation.  If he'd picked a religion, gender, nationality, skin color or whatever I'm sure you would have heard the echo's all around about the evilness of it all.  Instead what I am seeing is a villainization of a large portion of America, based on the fact that they do not hold the same beliefs. 

My heart wonders how much more will be attempted to shatter us, to render the very fabric of America useless. They've attempted over the decades to place wedges in between us all based on everything you could possibly list.  Color, gender, religion, thoughts, race, finances and so much more that I can't even remember.  And through it all, even though there have been blips and hiccups of horrible proportions we have managed to still retain the very fibers that make us a republic.  

America is a republic.  We are not a democracy, no matter how many times it is repeated and yelled, we are still (at least for the time being) a republic.  Each and every person regardless of their thoughts, feelings, beliefs, color, or anything else is just as important as the next.  And it feels that there is pure evil afoot that wants to change that.  That wants to send us back in time, that is laying the groundwork for what happened in Germany in 1933.  We all know how that ended. 

I don't care about any of the things they are trying to use to divide us, I am an American.  I believe in our constitution and freedoms.  I always have, I always will. I can't change this world.  I can't change hearts set on tearing others down and from striping away that which we hold most precious.  It's not possible.  

What I can do, is pray.  I am going to continue to stay in prayer.  I am going to lift up each person, I am going to continue to ask God to heal our damaged country and world. 

This is simply a reflection of my feelings and beliefs regarding what I watched last night. To me, in the course of my life experiences, those 24 minutes were filled with something completely unbecoming of an American president. They filled me with a deep sense of loss and hurt. Each of us will process it on our own, if you even watched it as it was not readily available to see.  

I'm going to spend some time out in the garden this morning.  Praying and processing the past 12 hours. 

God bless America once again, please.... 

love and peace for all!

moving away from fear...

My how time flies... Like the blink of an eye! A year ago this moment, my knee replacement surgery was just getting started.  I was oblivious to it all as my incredible doc worked his magic.  I can say that with all honesty at this point in the game.  Being as I am not a huge fan of any doctors and I question most medicine, that is a huge statement!  I am probably his biggest fan! I can't wait for my one year follow up on Monday.  My life is so much better because I took the chance that I had avoided for evidently far too long. 

This morning as I rushed up and down several sets of stairs barely touching the handrail it occurred to me that it had been almost a decade since that was something I could easily handle.  Something that didn't make me a bit ill to even consider doing.  I just moved on like nothing. 

I've spent a lot of time this week thinking about things related to my surgery.  But mostly about the fact that fear holds us back far too often and for unreasonable reasons.  I've had to push through a lot of fear this week.  And honestly it really infuriated me. 

Over the weekend I came down with a cold.  I know shocking right?  I mean with everything going on in the medical field I sort of thought the good old fashioned summer cold had disappeared. I felt like crud for a couple of days, ya know the low grade fever, stuffy head, aches... wait isn't that a line from one of the medicines?  Anyhow, yes I do tend to be sarcastic.  Monday it started causing me to cough and that was when the fear arrived. 

Having had a rough bout of pneumonia just about a year and a half ago and with all the fear porn that surrounded it, I went to a super dark place in my head... I did not want to go through that again. The struggling to breathe, the inability to put together coherent thoughts, the fear. Nope, no thank you. 

Luckily, I'm a bit stubborn, willful and bull-headed - your good old fashioned witch (you can start that with a "b").  I wasn't going there.  I refused to be sick.  I refused to give into the fear.  I drank my OJ and elderberry teas, I took healthy doses of vitamins and zinc, I drank so much water I think the cold left for fear of drowning.  I moved my body, I kept living my life, just slowly.  For basically two and a half days I struggled hard.  

Then I said enough. I slept when I needed to, but I didn't linger in bed.  I refused to listen to any negative thoughts or fears. I got mad.  Yesterday, I did my life.  Sure I still sounded nasally, my head was still stuffed and I might need to buy stock in Puffs, but I did my life. 

Today, I'm breathing great, I am full of energy - much like yesterday except the breathing part - ready to live my best life. I spent lots of time out in the sunshine soaking up vitamin D over the past few days and I did a lot of work unwinding the fear that has been programmed into us for over two years now.  I was furious at myself for sliding into that web of deceit. 

Colds have been around forever, ya know, viruses and bacteria.  There was a time we didn't freak out.  Summer colds happened, they got passed around like yesterday's news. Everyone knew someone that had it or was just getting over it and you didn't lose your mind. It was just something that you got, you knew that the next 3 - 10 days were gonna suck and you moved on.  Everyone on the planet has had a 24 hour bug.

I was being a bit of a brat and whining to my sister stating that I wished we could simply go back to a simple cold instead of folks loosing their minds wanting you to shove a stick up your nose etc., it made me so sad when she said I don't think we are ever going to be able to go back to that time. 

Back to when we still believed in things like herd immunity, back when mom's would deliberately put their children in the room with other children when they had chicken pox, because the sooner they caught it, the better.  Back when you heard people say "oh I've already had that cold, no worries" or the flu or... when it was normal everyday conversation to say oh looks like there's a bug going around this family or that had it, or it's going through work, or it's going through school or the neighborhood or church.  Oh to go back. 

Puppy kisses are the cure for everything

I know at least 5 folks that have had this cold.  I was in contact with several without realizing it, my sweet Hubs is currently up in bed letting his body work through it now.  I am sure many others will have it before it goes away.  It doesn't need to involve fear. 

I know I'm focusing a lot on the cold, but that isn't what I am trying to draw my thoughts to, I almost didn't have my knee replaced out of fear.  So many people talked me out of it, had horrible outcomes, doctors wanted to wait (mostly because insurance companies wanted to wait), I was too young, it wasn't that bad... the list goes on. 

I almost backed out.  There was a nightmare of a challenge with my insurance and it almost had to be postponed.  I almost let the fear win.  Because if it had been postponed, I know that I would not have gone through with it.  I was terrified!  Frozen with fear to be exact.  I had faith in my surgeon and that was pretty much the only reason I went through with it.  But, I was tired of only living a portion of my life, of not being able to fully experience the world around me, of always making decisions based on what my knee could handle.  

A year ago, I could barely walk, the pain was incredibly severe and while compensating for the damage to the left, I was rapidly destroying the right knee.  In fact going into surgery I had been warned that I would probably need the other one done within the year.  Fast forward... I have run, skipped, hiked, I can chase my puppies and grand babies, I live my life fully. Waiting was the biggest regret, as I can never get that time I spent suffering back.  But... I am thankful. I am fairly positive that I will never end up replacing the right now, because it doesn't have that unfair burden damaging it.

I think about a lot of things that fear has prevented me from doing.  I wonder how many of us have been too afraid to walk away from that miserable job and follow a passion that is burning inside?  Or that relationship that isn't going anywhere, out of fear of being alone.  Maybe taking a solo trip to experience your comfort of getting to know and rely on yourself?  How many followed an education path that would "make money" but didn't light a fire of desire to learn inside?

I'm still deeply on this path of discovery, following my heart and learning to push the fear aside and simply experience life. It is so rewarding, so affirming.  I hate that forever we have been programmed by fear.  We might never succeed to our fullest potential because we are all afraid of failure, we are afraid of illness, of being alone, of not having enough money, of other's opinions and thoughts, we are taught almost from the beginning of our lives here on this planet to be in fear.  And the cycle just keeps on going.  

At some point, we need to stop it. We need to be okay with making our personal mantra "plot twist" and moving forward. I'm sitting here this morning celebrating the one year birthday of my knee and the wonderful blessings it has brought. I'm also working on setting my intentions for my next trip around the sun which will start tomorrow morning at 4:01 am.  I have been working for over a year now on letting go, on being okay with the plot twists, of flowing in this lifetime and letting that flow guide me and my journey, and most importantly... moving away from fear. 

I don't know where my journey leads, but I am really loving the path I am following.  For the first time in my life I truly feel that I am doing and being what I came here to do.  It's a great feeling... 

love and peace

it's summer time...

It's another beautiful day here in the garden.  I think the temps are supposed to get warmer later, but for now it's a nice cool 70°.  I've already had time to water the gardens, have a cup of coffee and watch the sunrise and that beautiful full moon set. It's definitely a beautiful day. 

The Pups and I are sitting out here, Beau now has his own chair for which he seems quite grateful, enjoying the beauty of the world waking up.  Hubs was with us for a bit, but he has an early start today.  We put Beau's chair beside mom and under the bird feeder.  He loves watching the birds and will literally do it for hours and well, he is fairly sure that he and I might share body parts as he must be within a few feet of me the majority of the day.  Sweet Belle is far more independent and roams the house and the yard like the free spirit that she is. 

Shortly, I will offer them a ride and we will head to one of the parks for a nice long walk.  They love walks, but walking them in the actual neighborhood j
ust became far too stressful and unpleasant for all of us.  I am trying to decide between the river walk or the park up the street.  I want to go where it is the least crowded.  They are amazing on leashes and easy to control, I ask them to sit when someone approaches and they will stop and sit right by my side, it's just not enjoyable to constantly ask them to sit and while we like to be respectful of others space too many folks simply walk up on them and expect them to not be near them.  Again, far too stressful. 

Yesterday, while running my errands in Illinois I took the babies to the park that Hubs and I frequented way back in the day when we lived not far from it.  I started to walk the lower ring, but knowing that there are large sections of it that are not visible I didn't feel incredibly safe doing so.  We used to take the boys there all the time, but it was a different time then, that area was far safer than it is today.  So we tackled the hill walk instead.  That entire route is wide open and you can see for miles. In fact if you've read my blog for any length of time you've seen many sunrises and sunsets from the top of that hill. 

It was their first visit there and they loved it, the wide open expanse gave them room to move and new smells to smell.  It was a bit of a walk down memory lane and my heart felt like the boys were walking right along side us.  That huge hill has many memories attached to it.  It's where I took my little puppy Fred sledding almost 20 years ago.  It's where Hubs and I rode our bikes so many early mornings before that area starting growing and expanding.  One of the twins steered her and I straight into the only tree on the hill while sledding. And I managed to break my wrist the Christmas I got my spinning wheel.  Somewhere my daughter probably still has the video of me going airborne, we still went sledding (I didn't realize it was broken), but my grand baby wanted to sled and I wasn't going to say no.  Just packed that mitten with snow and away we went.  Hindsight being 20/20 - boy was that dumb, it swelled so much I almost couldn't remove the mitten before we finally went to get it looked at. 

Isn't it odd how memories are?  I don't have a great memory most of the time. I easily struggle to remember most events.  And then I'm in a place or a picture pops up and boom... it's perfectly clear.  I wonder if most folks are like that?

a bit confusing...

I was glancing at Twitter this morning, it humors me a bit the insanity that bounces around.  Yet a couple of pictures caught my eye.  They were weather maps from England, as they are having such brutal heat, one is several years old the other was from yesterday.  When enlarged the temperatures were within a few degrees of each other, some higher, some lower.  The only difference in the map is one was normal colored with sweet little suns sprinkled about, the other was all red and orange with angry looking the color of violent flame all around the country.  Yet the temperatures were the same. 

I found that to be a startling image.  So much that I was chatting with my friend about it.  I've noticed that all of the weather folks are beating the drum about the extreme heat that we are being blanketed with, the unusual weather patterns and how there isn't going to be enough energy to be able to cool homes, do laundry, etc., and of course I understand that for some areas it is higher heat than in the past. But what has changed?

My Facebook memories pop up all the time showing temperatures above 100° at least a couple times a week.  Going back as long as I have had the account.  I remember moving here the first time almost 38 years ago.  I arrived in July, and I hated it!  It was unbearably hot and miserable.  I swore I would never live here again in my life... we all see how that turned out. 

And this morning lying in bed in the early light a bit warm because well, it's summer, remembering the years in Germany without air conditioning and how absolutely miserable summers could be.  Waking up drenched in sweat, even with box fans with damp clothes hanging over them were in the windows.  The long miserable nights with almost no sleep, the plan to go to post office and grocery store during the day because they both had air conditioning and it wasn't as miserable.  I spent many summers with my sisters and later my kiddos at pools and water parks in Germany trying desperately to stay cool.  Many ice creams were eaten, much water was splashed. 

This heat isn't really any different than it's always been.  It's summer. Yet the media and governments repeatedly tell us how brutal it is.  How we should all be melting and miserable.  Is this to justify the huge leaps in utility costs?  To force us to do something, that will benefit them?

Sorry, I've had many "discussions" with my sweet son in regards to "global warming", "climate change", or whatever the phrase of the year is.  I don't buy any of it.  Look at pictures of beaches from the turn of last century vs today... the only time there is any change is where mankind has intervened to make the change.  If the sea levels were truly rising, there would not be a billion dollar or better industry built around ocean front properties and mansions.  There would be absolutely no building or homes within miles of any beach in the world.  It's harder to find a public beach than it is to find a privately owned one.  So... sorry... not buying the storyline. 

And if you look at the larger historical picture, I should never have been allowed to actually take geology classes in college - FYI, you will see that the weather cycles are the same as they have always been.  We just haven't always had non-stop voices telling us how bad and miserable it is and how we should be in fear for our lives. 

I know a strange tangent to wander into today.  I guess all of the things that have popping up really got me thinking.  My friend works primarily outdoors every summer, for at least six weeks she is in the elements.  Her statement to me, was that it doesn't really feel any different from any other year. 

Now have I made changes to my home based on some of the fear mongering?  Of course.  But it was also based on the fact that I was actually in my home during the summer last year.  I knew what areas of my home did not cool well and where improvements could be made.  Those improvements have allowed me to remain very comfortable and raise the temperature setting in my home significantly.  

taking a break from the midday heat

I am also able to dress accordingly for the season.  In the summer, I wear shorts and t-shirts or maybe a sundress depending on my plans for the day.  In the past, I needed to wear business clothing, definitely not cool and comfy.  In the winter I put on heavy sweaters and jeans with my nice hand knit socks.  I stay toasty at a lower setting.  

Again these are my choices.  When I heard that landlords in Germany will be limiting home temps to 62° this winter, I cringed.  I spent a large part of my life there, those folks better be investing in some heavy sweaters, socks and blankets.  It's gonna be cold. But from what I've read there will be warming centers.  Seriously?

We need to be paying attention to what is happening in other countries and all around us.  Because the truth of the matter is it won't take much for that to be what they try to force here.  Like I've said before since I eliminated my "smart" thermostat, I am able to maintain a consistent temperature and lower my bill.  I never gave the electric company permission to adjust my thermostat, but it was constantly being adjusted.  Something to think about. 

It's time to enjoy the rest of my beautiful morning out here in the early morning sunshine, feed my pups and got for a nice walk before this summer day turns into... well a summer day... Please remember for the most part these are normal everyday temperatures... except for my friends that are in the deep south/southwest and I think that is a far different issue than we are being led to believe... 

love and peace... 

some questions...

Good morning everyone!  I guess I needed that little break, a quick trip to Arkansas, finally meeting my youngest great nephew and spending time with most of the family felt refreshing and energizing. The little dude is awesome, God is working some serious miracles in that one.  And the lessons that we are all learning from him are true blessings!

I am 100% unpacked and cleaned up from the trip, camper is back in storage for a bit and even the laundry is done.  Today, life returns to "normal"... although I am not really sure what normal is in this day and age.  Maybe it is better to say life returns to my everyday routine. 

I was out in the treetop garden before the sun broke the horizon, taking full advantage of the fact that it was only in the 70's and humidity was fairly mild.  I got the garden weeded, watered and even did a bit of harvesting.  The peas are still fighting on, so each morning I harvest whatever bounty they give and pop them into the freezer. It's amazing how much changed in just 4 days.  My tomato plants are going crazy, although the squirrel managed to snatch the first Cherokee purple (I am not happy - at all) and he also killed the one I started from a sucker on another plant.  Guess he wasn't thrilled with the location?  Or he was taking full advantage of the puppies being out of town.  

I applied liberal coffee grounds this morning and will be putting out a dish of water for him today.  Most of the time when they are stealing tomatoes it isn't because they like tomatoes, it's because they are thirsty.  And with this heat we are having I can definitely believe that!

Everywhere I looked the garden is filled with life and growth.  I even have my first pickle!  The pepper plants are bursting with buds and tiny peppers, the jalapeno's are simply growing like crazy (this is fantastic and the dragon loves jalapeno jelly).  

Unfortunately, it doesn't look like my beautiful kale is going to survive the caterpillars and moths. It was flourishing when we left and now it's a bunch of stems.  I will see if I can revive it.  Today will involve doing some research into deterring and protecting my garden from little beasties.  

I'll be honest, I needed those few moments in the garden this morning.  My faith that life will endure is always renewed after a bit of time out there.  While I was in Arkansas I checked out my sister's garden.  I have to say, I am always a tad envious of her country paradise.  She has far better restraint than I do, I'm pretty sure my garden would have grow to fill all available land, whether I had time to work it or not.  Her's is great!  Everything is nicely spaced and growing so beautifully.  Her blueberry bush is what dreams are made of.  It's as large and luscious as the ones that we picked from in the pacific northwest. It's absolutely covered in large green berries.  Yep, super jealous of that one.  Also equally super happy for her.  

I even got to enjoy her little baby chickens.  The pups didn't know what to think about them.  Poor Belle was the most confused as she loves to chase birds, but those ones were quite a bit bigger than she expected.  Neither of my babies is cut out for country life.  They were terrified of the feral kittens, probably a good thing as their momma would have messed them up.  And big bad Beau was a wreck when my brother in law came out of the camper in the dark and ended up plastered to me, shaking like crazy.  They are big, but they are still babies.  Although that didn't stop Hubs and my brother in law from teasing him and giving him a new nickname. 

I'm holding tight to great things like this.  Because coming home was a pure eye opener.  When we left on Friday gas was stupid high at $4.49. I was unbelievably stunned when we hit small towns south of us where gas is usually lower and discovered that it was $4.69 down there. So you can imagine how sick I was to my stomach as we returned home on Monday to gas being $4.89.  Our trip south ran us just over $85 in gas, not terrible.  Trip home, same distance and mileage $128.  There is a reality check for you. 

I was hurrying to get my dishes washed and a load of laundry done before the higher energy usage costs of mid-day kicked in.  As Ameren keeps warning me it will all be more expensive now.  I will modify my daily plans to get things done during non-peak times and save those times for things that don't draw as much on the utilities. 

As much as I want to get busy with my canning chores, this morning I need to get into my sewing room.  I need to get the curtains shortened to put in the kitchen windows to block out the heat of the day.  Our deck takes a direct beating during the hottest part of the day, we used to have the gazebo that blocked out a sufficient amount of sunlight, with that gone, I need to get busy.  I'm pulling down all the blinds and closing all the shutters.  I will miss the sunlight, I will not miss the unbearable heat.  I loathe heat. I will remove the tie-backs from my drapes and move into dungeon world to avoid being overheated. 

I was browsing the book this morning and noticed multiple friends are starting to say the very things I have been thinking, feeling, and finally saying for a long time.  Questioning what the heck is going on.

While down in the country the radio station Hubs had on started the day with a farm report.  Did you know the beef industry in this country is booming (according to them) that we are exporting the largest amount of beef in our entire recorded history?  That we are sending the bulk of it to China to lift up their economy.  If that farm report was done in the exciting grab your attention manner that the daily news is, would more people realize what they are talking about?  Instead of the monotone, soft spoken announcer reading a running list of facts, luring everyone except farmers to sleep.

I'm very happy for the farmers that are making a profit, or at least I hope they are, these humans are keeping our country fed.  And I don't for a moment believe the farmers are the ones doing this.  I believe it is our government, ya know all those folks that are making an obscene amount of money on a public servants wage?

I have to say I was struggling with that news all day yesterday. It brought to mind a multitude of questions.  Starting with why do we appear to have a shortage in this country if we can export so much? Have you seen the prices on meat?  Steaks are unreal.  If we have so much that we can export the largest amount of all time, why are we being told at the grocery store that the reason the prices are so high is because there is a shortage of meat.... you know Covid, worker shortage at the processing plants, etc... 

Moving on to why are American's being encouraged to eat fake meat?  The standard talking point is that cows are bad for the environment, etc.  Now I completely agree that factory farms are bad for the environment, the cows and the consumer, but not all meat is from factory farms.  But it seems we have plenty of extra beef to send to other parts of the world, I guess it's only bad if it is for folks in this country?

I am definitely perplexed by what I am hearing, reading and seeing with my own two eyes. I also have read in multiple places now that Smithfield is closing their western US processing plants.  They are owned by a Chinese company and simply aren't making the profit they want.  This is concerning also. Again, not because giant agricultural plants are good for any of us, but where is the safety net for the American people.  Where is the plan B? Did you know Utah has declared an economic/agricultural state of emergency ahead of these closures?  Many people will lose their jobs and because for decades farmers have been driven to supply only to these large companies there is a shortage of processing plants to switch to. 

At what point do people wake up and question the true state of what is going on?  I'm completely over the comedy hour the J6 committee is throwing.  Stop it!  All of these distractions are just that, DISTRACTIONS!  Turn off the television, vote the idiots out, clean up our election system, court system and education system and lets get back to living.  I am seriously over it all. 

While folks are focusing hard on the latest distraction, currently the J6 bull crap, we are being handed our bottoms.  Gas is skyrocketing, food is becoming scarce (did you really believe the baby formula bull - at what point do you question that plenty of places in the world have an abundance yet we don't?), utilities are approaching the stupid level.  When do we wake up and call it for what it is? 

Have you tried to have your vehicle repaired?  Buy an appliance?  Furniture?  Seriously people, wake up!

I'm super tired of the folks that are like oh, the gas is high because Putin went into Ukraine, no... gas was already on an upward trend before that, a sharp upward trend. It is freaking smoke and mirrors.  They are hoping they have you too distracted by working insane hours, watching the predictive programming that is television, gaslighting you by repeating lies over and over again, and in such poor health from all the crap they are putting in food that you don't realize you are an active participant in your own countries destruction. 

When do we realize we are in a very abusive relationship and it isn't going to end well for us?  We aren't crazy, we aren't imagining it.  It's very real?  Need a reality check, go fill up your gas tank and go for a "Sunday drive"... 

I'm sorry if this isn't the happy go lucky blog posting some were expecting.  I'm sorry if it sounds like I am a doomsayer.  Ironically, I believe that we will eventually all come together, I believe that we will see that damn light and realize it is an on-coming train wreck and work together to over-come the damage.  It isn't just in this country, this is not an American problem.  This is a global problem.  And no I don't believe it is the fault of any country.  Frankly, I feel it is the fault of people being lured into a false sense of security, being willing to trade freedom for things.  Becoming lured into a passive state and afraid to say no, this is wrong and you need to go.  That applies to many countries, not just our own. 

I'm weary, I'm frustrated, I am concerned.  But you know what else I am?  I'm determined, I'm hopeful, I am confident and I am amazed at the ingenuity and wisdom of people as they are opening their eyes and looking at the real root of the challenges we have been facing and the greater challenges that I fear we are getting ready to face. 

We've been warned throughout history.  When do we pay attention?

Beau has some questions... 

Well... this crazy woman, has a great deal to accomplish today.  Taking off four days was a bit reckless, even if it was a much needed mental and emotional break. I want to get those curtains up before the sun gets too high on the horizon.  

Please take a moment to just consider what I've written, to think about it from a completely neutral space, to consider the impact that all of this is having on you and your loved ones.  Choose to become part of the solution, not part of the problem.

love and peace everyone...

keeping busy....

I am definitely having a rough time getting motivated to do anything this morning.  The pups are doing so good and I believe they are letting me know that the vet said 7 - 10 days and it's been 8.  Yesterday they helped each other remove their collars (they even hid one under the middle of a sofa) and were rough housing like the babies they are - all because I dared grab a quick shower while they napped.  The house is once again filled with shredded toys and they are eating like food is going out of style.  My babies are definitely not tiny any longer. 

It's the strangest thing.  Since their spay/neuter both puppies are far more loving.  Beau is even worse than Belle for needing to be right near us if not sleeping on us.  We must have bodies touching.  Both of them have discovered that recliners provide a great extension to mom and dad's laps and have an overwhelming need to sit with us in them.  I'm currently typing with my arms stretched out over my almost 50 lb lap puppy, as he gently snores in my lap.  It's actually a bit humorous. I'm waiting for the other one to decide that she needs to climb up here also. She usually lays on my legs, he refuses to give up the prime spot on my hips and stomach. I hate to bother them once they get comfy, it makes me sad to wake them.  Although I am not altogether sure there is anything normal about this, I sure do love the love that they give so generously. 

These unseasonal weather spikes are wearing me out, I am absolutely not a fan.  It is supposed to hit 92 today, I am not ready for such a strong weather swing. YUCK!  It was only in the 60's not even a week ago.  I don't supposed I'd loathe the heat so much if it didn't come with so much humidity. It's like a giant energy zapper. And I am absolutely not about energy zapping. When it's like this I find I often get low grade headaches and an overwhelming desire to sleep or fight the sleepiness all day. 

I have a lot to do today, I need to harvest a bunch of jalapeno's, I'm not sure if I want to pickle them, ferment them or make cowboy candy.  If I make the cowboy candy it will be for gifts, that is far too much sugar for us, and I'm not sure that a sugar substitute would work. Although it is one of my favorite treats. I'm also going to try my hand at fermenting today, I am officially going to make some sauerkraut.  It's been on my I want to try list for a really long time, and I have decided that I am finally going to take the plunge. 

I made sugar free ketchup yesterday, both of my taste testers loved it. In fact, I am fairly certain that Hubs will not be opening the store bought one after the one in the fridge is done.  The fragrance that filled the house was incredible, I chose to follow the recipe from 1943, but used 1/2 the recommended sugar and replaced it with Bocha Sweet - a sugar sub made from pumpkins. I averaged it to about fifty cents a jar.  That compared to the $6.74 I just paid for the same size bottle with questionable ingredients made the 3 hours well worth it.  Especially as over 2 of those hours were no active on my part. 

I spent $20 for 50 lbs of tomatoes.  I have made so much out of those boxes of tomatoes.  Oven roasted marinara, spaghetti meat sauce, salsa, ketchup, pizza sauce, and tomato juice.  I currently have one batch of cores and peels included in the broth that is cooking in the slow cooker and have multiple bags frozen at this time. 

I don't think I'd call me a prepper, although that is Hubs current term of choice.  I think my thriftiness would rather spend a bit of the time I have available creating yummy foods and saving a ton of money.  If I can even find what I am in search of.  Not to mention, it is taking a bit of my time now, but it is the ultimate in fast food once it's put up.  Because of the time I am putting in right now, I can whip up dinners in no time at all.  And when we are going camping I don't have to spend hours cooking in the day or so before.  I can go to my pantry and pull out whatever I think we will like and be on the way. 

To me it just feels like a better way to prepare meals.  Eliminating the chemicals and yuck that I don't want as part of our diet. Doing so may ultimately lead to a wider variety of foods in our diets. 

That and I am addicted to that sweet little ping that comes as the jar seals. I admit it, I'm an addict. 

Today I am also going to play with my dehydrator a bit more.  Hubs bought me a new one for mother's day, I've had my older ones for almost 20 years now and I still love them, but find them a bit limiting.  I will still keep them, they are incredible tools for making puppy treats, but the new one is easier to use, as if that was even possible. I am going to try some grain free cracker recipes today.  We love to have a nice charcuterie tray and crackers are definitely a plus.  These ones fit dietary requirements. Thankfully, dehydrating simply requires me to mix it and forget it. I will spend a few minutes prepping and then I will move on with my day for the next 6 - 8 hours.  Sounds perfect to me.  

I need to harvest a few more radishes and then I need to plant 4 tomato plants.  I need to plant the celery that I am re-growing from the core of 3 others.  They are doing fantastic and I am almost afraid to take them out of the cups they are in.  I have never had success with celery before and I am actually a bit stunned that they have taken off.  I've been doing some research and it sounds like they are definitely fans of indirect sun and soggy soil, so I can't mix them with anything else in the garden.  I was hoping to put them all in single planter, but that also sounds like it might be a challenge.  They are definitely an experiment that is thriving. 

I'm also going to try to get my lilac bushes planted today.  Hubs has been watering the hill a lot this week to encourage the grass to grow, as a result the area I need to work in is very wet and slipper.  So we will see, I'm also going to order my raised beds for the lower side of that wall.  

I just saw another alert that for the third month Abbot Labs is shut down with the FDA not willing to allow them to reopen.  Seems like a rather minor issue, right? Unfortunately, they are the largest producer of baby formula in our country.  If I had a baby dependent on formula right now, I would be hopping mad.  I worry about my great nephew, he is far too medically fragile to not have just the right mix to thrive. Not every momma can breastfeed for a plethora of reasons.  I am terrified about what this means for babies.  I am not looking for haters, but I frankly feel that solving formula issues in our country is of far greater concern to me as an American than sending money to a country half way around the globe.  I am getting a bit pissed off for lack of a better way to say it. 

When are we going to take care of those in our own country.  We are not the babysitters of the world. I am all about helping people to be self-sufficient, to move away from big agriculture, big pharma, big financial, big... well big everything.  I would love to live in a world not controlled to the degree that it is by people and entities that don't have the people of the worlds best interest at heart. Plain and simple. I am worried for these babies.  I am worried about the insanity of everything that is going on.  As I said to a friend of mine this morning if this were a movie, and I were forced to rate it on a scale of 1 - 5, I would definitely give it a one because I can't go any lower. 

I think honing my own skills is how I am dealing with the insanity that is feeling very overwhelming at this time.  I can't control the world.  Heck, I can't control anything outside of my own front door.  But dang it, I can control some of the things surrounding me. 

Speaking of control... it's after 8 am and I need to get busy...

love and peace...

what is going on?

Good morning world!  The sunrise was breathtaking this morning.  After the sluggish start to yesterday, it definitely fueled my energy for today.  I've determined that when I wake up and have one of those rough starts where everything is out of whack and rushed that my day pretty much stays in that same vein. Yesterday was no exception.  I was in a funk all day, tired, out of sorts, not feeling strongly about doing much of anything. I struggled hard. Everything just seemed to be difficult.

I finally ended up sitting in the sun for about an hour while my soup was in the pressure canner. I simply needed to rest and regroup. I couldn't find my motivation or flow.  I finally gave up and went to bed early.  Some days you simply have to check out. 

Today is off to a much better start.  I woke up at stupid o'clock (remember I went to bed early), and maybe that is the key to having energy and motivation.  Because today is off to an extraordinary start.  Pups walked and fed, yesterday's canning already labeled and stored, laundry almost finished and it's not even 7:30 am.  Heck, I've even planned out today's canning adventures and have the recipes bookmarked and ingredients ready to go. 

just hold me mommy

Dad we gotta help mom find treatos!

I need to share some concerns.  Yesterday when Hubs got home from working down at the camp all day we ran out to pick up a few items I have used up.  It wasn't a huge list, just a few fresh herbs and few dried ones (as mine are not big enough to use yet) a few veggies and a couple of cuts of meat.  Nothing major or crazy, although I did consider picking up some strawberries as they are in season and I want to try dehydrating a few of them. 

Here is the thing.  I went into the first store, Schnucks, just up the road from our home.  I've had a few concerns about their bare shelves lately and the fact that there is less and less available in the entire store.  Most of the things are items we do not eat, so I wasn't overly concerned.  Yesterday I was in and out of a store that was so busy there were hardly any carts in less than 5 minutes.  No I am not that fast, the first 3 things on my list were not available. There was only 15 things on the list and most of it would have been in that department.  

As I walked in I had a sense that things were very different.  Massive space between items, empty bins everywhere, and when I found the "fresh herbs" they were all brown and unusable. As I stood there and looked around I had a feeling of a store going out of business or in an extremely small area with hardly any population.  To the best of my knowledge they aren't going out of business (although this is the third or fourth time recently that it has been like this) and our town is definitely not small. 

I just chalked it up to another bad experience and decided I would run into Fresh Thyme over by the place Hubs wanted to grab dinner from.  No big deal.  I know Fresh Thyme is more of a specialty store and a bit more expensive sometimes.  But their produce department is always top notch. 

I was shocked to walk into another store that looked sadly barren.  I did manage to find most of the things I was looking for.  Most, definitely not all.  I bought 5 small bags of groceries and spent $100.  Remember my list was 15 items and I didn't find it all. 

Later today I will run up to a different grocery for those last few things.  I hope they have what I am looking for.  If not, I will figure out a plan b.  But I am struggling with what I am witnessing.  Hubs loves bacon and I started to pick up a package, one that just a month ago I bought for $14 marveling at how expensive it had gotten.  Yet as I noticed the price yesterday $22.50 for the same size package, I couldn't bring myself to do it. 

Getting back in the truck to share this information with Hubs, I notice he's listening to the news and they are talking about the extreme baby formula shortage.  Our state is one of the hardest hit.  I know it's been a couple of years of folks struggling to canning jars and try buying lids, holy moses. Speaking with my sister I find out the special formula my nephew needs cannot be found anywhere and the hospital has started changing the formula to one they can get.  She also mentioned that she bought herself a flock of chickens, eggs are getting really scarce in her neck of the woods. 

I am not an alarmist, I am not someone that goes crazy and buys all of the toilet paper I can find in a city.  I will admit yesterday shook me to my core.  Too many things are adding up to something brewing that isn't nice or pretty.  The more I look into things the more it shakes me.  

Are we on the edge of another great depression?  Hyper inflation is already rearing it's ugly head, if you don't know what it is maybe look for an unedited history book about how Hitler came to power, understand what Germany was going through in those days.  Because it is scary stuff. And if we are, are we even remotely ready and able to handle what is coming our way?

pot-o-penos

I have a lot of crazy old fashioned skills.  There are many things that I can do successfully.  Sadly, I need supplies to be able to do them.  My little treetop garden cannot provide enough food even for just Hubs and I. I realized yesterday I need to expand my herb garden as I definitely am not producing even enough of that to meet our needs. I can't have chickens, so there are no fresh eggs to gather daily. 

Many folks in the urban and suburban areas are frankly going to be screwed.  Those out in the country are going to be better off if things keep going the way they are. But then again... are they?  After generations of people not learning the things that helped our grandparents and great grandparents through the rough times do the folks living in the country have the skill sets needed?  Hubs was doing a bit of trading with our friend down south and asked him what they might like that I was canning as we didn't want to step on their toes in regards to what they were canning.  The only thing they are canning is flavored moonshine. Not food.  Not that I mind trading for that at all. 

I just felt a heavy sadness last night.  A realization that we are not on a good path right now and that people are oblivious to what is all around them. 

I'm not an economist, I'm not into political science, I might be paying for a lot of college but I am definitely not someone that spent a lot of time in higher education - never did decide what I wanted to be when I grew up.  What I am is someone that is always on a quest to learn.  Someone that is ferociously independent and someone that has always longed for the simpler days and ways.  

French Onion Soup

I never dreamed that those basic skills could serve me so well, but I am thankful for the ones that I have. And striving to learn even more. I am up for trading my skills for anything you want to bring to the table to trade.  I am always up to help someone else learn some of these "silly" skills.  And I am always game to learn more of them myself.  

I don't know what the future holds, but I do know that my gut is telling me to buckle up - the ride is getting rough. 

When it's all said and done, maybe this is a tight spot that we will rapidly leave behind us.  Best case scenario I will have a beautiful garden and continue making things simply out of joy not need.  Worst case scenario, I have some crazy awesome skills that will get put to use creatively. 

Thanks for walking through this craziness with me.  I think I will continue to plan ahead, ya know for the "if come" to bring some stillness to my mind. There is simply too much that when added up is unsteady and uncomfortable. 

Okay mom... it's time to be finished

Well, it's time to get busy.  I am going to make some sugar free ketchup today using a very old recipe.  He loves ketchup and the sugar free kind is crazy expensive (not understanding why the healthier stuff is always expensive).  Wish me luck! 

love and peace...

there's a storm rolling in...

There is a storm blowing in.  Well a real storm. By mid-morning we are expecting super high winds, thunder, lightning and rain, lots of rain. I love it!  All of this beautiful rain is turning my corner of the world vibrant spring colors. Everything is bursting with light and life.  

I am concerned that there is worse storm blowing in that is not filled with those wonderful experiences.  I worry that it isn't so much life giving as it is energetically damaging. One that will cause people harm in many ways, not just physical.  Actually, I feel like maybe we have been in a storm for a long while now, and that it is simply escalating. 

The thing is, I am not sure what the end plan of this storm is.  I have a few ideas, I am not altogether sure for some of us the outcome is going to be what it will be for others.  I am afraid some people will be lost as this continues, they aren't riding the waves, they are being sucked into the under current.  They've either forgotten or never been taught how to avoid an under current and the swirling darkness is grabbing at their legs and pulling them down.  When all they need to do is focus on floating above the danger, don't fight it - you can't beat it that way.  By stretching out and floating they will have the ability to remove themselves from the danger. 

I keep getting alerts telling me what to do to be safe with today's incoming storm. How to seek shelter, where to do and what to do. 

Oddly, I haven't heard any warnings about what to do to withstand the storm that we've been in. I was stunned to hear that we are at 8.5% inflation.  I hated math in school, still not something that I spend my free time playing in, but I can do the math needed to know that 8.5% is a fantasy.  Most everything we purchase, even the taxes that we pay have gone up far more than that. And it might not be terrible if that was the only storm out there.  Unfortunately, that feels like it's just the high winds - at almost a CAT 4 tornado level - I would say CAT 5, but I fear it can still get worse and that is the definitely the plan. 

Throw in the booming thunder of fear that is being drummed up yet again.  The powers that be trying to force people back into their homes and into masks.  If the past two years didn't teach us anything, it should have taught us that the thunder is just loud voices yelling to get their way. 

I am not sure what the lightning is... Maybe it is the mandates, or maybe it is the sheer number of people that have lost their jobs (and no folks are not really hiring), or could it be the "supply chain shortages" that are causing true hardships in some areas?  Could it be the latest call of disease impending that could further damage the food supply?  I don't know, it's so multi-pronged. Or could it be the damage being caused to our youth?  I can't even go there right now. 

I know that I think and feel differently than some of those around me.  I always have. 

I know in a real live storm to secure things that could fly through the air and harm not only myself but others.  I know to seek shelter from twisters.  And not to stand under a tree in a lightning storm.  I've been trained to do that since I was young. 

Yesterday, I took the babies for a walk.  Our beautiful subdivision sits in the middle of some interesting real estate.  I climbed the hill they love to go to the top of to survey their kingdom, because that is how it feels.  As we were standing there looking out on the duplexes that are below us I noticed that almost half of the patios that I could see were covered with container gardens in the making.  In years past there was fancy lawn furniture and outdoor play areas. 

Do you know how to plant a victory garden?  Have you ever done it?  Have you ever worked the land to provide food for your family and loved ones? I know for a fact that most towns and communities that we live in today frown on tearing up your pristine grass and planting a garden.  In some you can be fined and told to remove it.  Are you willing to violate that?  And if you are willing, do you even know how?

I remember being a kid and dad and mom insisting that we got a garden plot whenever we lived somewhere that had them available.  I wish I had one now.  I remember walking through my grandpa's garden with him and helping him harvest the sweetest strawberries that I have ever eaten.  Or learning when the corn was ready to pick.  I remember the huge chest freezer, I was mostly interested in the popsicles stashed in there for treats, but I also remember it was filled with deliciousness that he grew with his own two hands and his labor. 

Do we have basic life skills, because that is what is going to be needed to survive this storm. Do you possess a strong work ethic, the willingness to have dirt under your nails, aching muscle from hard labor, or even the willingness to learn new skills?  To make and create the things that you are used to running up to the store or out to a restaurant to grab? Or have you fallen into a trap not of your own making.  Lured by the ease that life has been?  

Try finding a television show that factually depicts what life was like the last time the government crashed the economy. Yet we are lured into watching hours of television, full of ads for things we want, creating a fantasy life that all of us would love to have. 

We recently had an election, there was a proposition on there in our entire county to add another tax on all internet sales.  This was to add additional taxes by the city to the state tax that you already pay on internet purchases. I was curious as to the over all outcome of that vote and had to do some serious searching to find the answers.  It wasn't like I could simply click a single place for election results, easily and without searching. What I found the most disturbing was the trends. The two middle highest income areas passed it. The lowest, poverty stricken areas passed it.  And all of those in the middle areas said no. 

Here's the thing.  It was being sold as you would get more "free" benefits from your local governments,  they simply needed more money to survive and build a budget (even though my own town had a large surplus the past two years), but mostly, they were going to take it to give every one more free things. 

Folks, nothing is free in this world that we are living in. Stop and think about it.  Today I will do my taxes, I am sure I will write a very large check to Uncle Sam and my state government.  Because they feel they need more and more of my hard earned dollars to exist on.  Then stop and think about the fact that congress just voted to give themselves a 21% cost of living pay raise.  Where is that coming from?  And frankly why do they need it?  True leaders take care of the flock, not enrich themselves off their backs.  

You are free to think and feel the way you want.  As am I.  I'm tired of being a sheep being groomed for slaughter.  I'm tired of all my labor enriching those that have never gotten their fingernails dirty trying to coax some vegetables from the ground to enrich their own families. 

Today's incoming storm is nothing compared to the one that we've been in.  As I began typing this, I truly felt like this storm was recent. As my brain explored my thoughts and feelings in depth while I was typing, I realize that this storm has been here a long time. Longer than most of us will even realize.  Most younger people today have never grown food, can't even sew on a button and frankly (based on how busy restaurants and fast food places still are) have limited ability to cook and prepare their own meals. 

This storm has been here for a very, very long time.  Slowly but surely activities that can benefit growth and knowledge have become "uncool" and are disappearing.  Kids don't want to work in the food industry (they would learn from the labor), I don't know if any schools have 4H clubs or Home economics courses anymore - although even when I was going through school I learned more on how to clean the kitchen than the skills I needed and that was over 40 years ago.  Do schools have wood-working or shop classes anymore?  What about automotive classes?  Is that taught anywhere?  

Or do I truly belong to a very extreme clique of people that simply didn't move on?  That thrive with all of those random and useful skills.  Please don't ask me to play a video game with you, I can't.  Or maybe it is that I won't. I took computer programming courses, I can use most modern technology with skill and ease, the thing is... I don't want to. 

I will still have struggles if some of the things I am used to having at my disposal go away.  But I know that I possess the basic skills to survive, even clumsily. Are you part of my tribe?  Are you crazy busy preparing for this part of the storm that we are now in?  Do you have your storm shelter ready?  Supplies on hand? 

I sat with my awesome girlfriends last night for a couple of hours pinching dandelions to get them ready to make jelly.  One of them had gathered a huge bag of them on her way home from work.  While she was gathering them, I was sitting in my yard gathering more wild violets. We are working on improving our skills and providing for ourselves. We talked about different things that we either feel we need to learn or start doing more of to stop being so reliant on things that might not continue to serve us.

I need to take my babies out for a long walk, they will not want to go out in the incoming storm, and I need to get busy working on getting prepared for the storm.  Working on having back ups and plan b's for the crap life is throwing at us. I hope you are at least paying attention to the incoming storms.  That you know how to lift your legs and float so that you are not sucked down.  I pray that my family, friends and loved ones, heck everyone is ready for whatever life throws at you.  Don't wait for someone to come and save you?  Because the reality is that has never been the plan, need a reminder - look at some of the areas of our world that have been destroyed by natural disasters and man made ones.  Look at the devastation to inner cities and ask yourself why. 

Gotta get busy... love and peace...