hello old friends...

I've been on an incredible journey.  I stopped worrying about a lot of the stuff I thought was important and started to slow things down, move them in a different direction.  I was backing up my blog today, something I have wanted to do forever, and realized it's been over six months since I sat down to write. 

I don't think it's ever been that long since I've dumped my thoughts and ideas.  Since I've shared or rambled.  I've been busy.  Busy living, busy learning, exploring things that have popped up and enjoying my family and close friends.  Mostly, I have been very introverted as I have walked along this path of discovery. 

Since I've been quiet I've discovered that I really enjoy participating in small craft fairs, something that will never make me wealthy, but will keep my hands and heart busy. I've been creating and learning new skills.  Seems I move through seasons with crafting the same way that I move through seasons with everything else. 

Since August I have found myself fully engrossed in a lot of "slow" work.  Embroidery, crocheting, and applique have been the primary projects.  I have been working on finally wrapping up a few dozen projects, nope... not wrapping up, but moving them towards completion.  

There have been hours spent learning to use my new longarm and we are becoming best friends and I adore the time spent quilting. 

Somewhere along the way, I became engrossed in working on our family trees and was finally able to make a very treasured connection for my sweet Hubs.  Now I am a touch obsessed and find myself wanting to visit graveyards far more frequently than is probably normal.

I put my garden to bed sometime in November and here it is time to start planting the cool weather seeds before the heat of summer sneaks in.  The red buds have already bloomed and I need to take some time to go an gather blossoms this week.  So many folks love the red bud jelly that I need to make sure I have an ample stash. Where does time seem to dash off to?

Hubs and I were chatting about time moving quickly, reminiscing about my 50th birthday party and how proud he was to bring so many of my dearest friends and family together for it.  I stumbled for a moment to remember how old I will be this year.  Hardly seems like it, but I will be 59 this year.  Not even remotely sure how that happened.  Wasn't I just in my 30's?  Hmmmm.... guess not. 

I've been engrossed in my journey with the Lord. Everyday I learn more, I travel down a road that I have walked passed many times in my life, never managing to glance much less explore.  Each road brings me greater clarity and appreciation.  It also brings me some regret.  So much I wish I had learned so long ago.  I often wonder what choices I would have made differently in my life, what paths would I have turned away from.  Many choices would have been different.  The beauty is that grace and redemption are there.  God never expected us to be perfect, he figured out real quick that we never would be.  But like any loving parent, he provided us the guidance to always come home. 

We spent the day chasing his roots,
seems the town is now under the lake.

Hubs and I are on the journey together and each step feels stronger than the one before. I truly am blessed.  All of this has been such a gift, it has taken away the angst and anxiety daily life was bringing.  It has given me the ability to live in a strange peacefulness that I have always felt was missing. 

throw the flying disk dad...

After we take the pups to the park (krap when speaking of it in their presence), we will fix dinner and tidy up for another night. I will curl up with my Bible, a cup of hot chocolate and read the book of Esther, it is Purim and we are all here for such a time as this. I love the story and I am looking forward to the peace before I head up to bed. 

I'm still wrapped up in a million things, with another million more swimming around in my brain that I am longing to share and have conversations about.  I don't know what the future holds for my sweet little blog.  Some days I feel overwhelmingly drawn to write, and then my daily tasks step into place and the day is gone and so is the urge to write.  

I'm not really sure what drew me to write today.  I've started probably five or six blog posts that ended up in the delete draft pile. Something made me long to reconnect.  I finished up the six batches of soap that I made this morning and early afternoon and brought my computer back down to my desk.  My old Chromebook that I have written most of these entries on has finally breathed it's last, I do believe. So I borrowed my own laptop for the lye calculators I needed. I might steal Hubs' Chromebook, he rarely ever uses it, who knows.  Plugging it back in my heart was pulled here. 

There has been so much going on in the world.  I have had many family and friends suffering from what seems like continual tragedy and chaos.  I think that is what caused me to step back, I want to help everyone and I know that I simply can't.  Then I get stuck in this bubble of not being able to do anything because I feel helpless.  It's a vicious circle. 

Just checking in

Me too!

I feel that is why I had to step away from so much.  I needed to find my center. I feel like I've found it, I feel ready to be part of the world again.  

never mind, it's nap time

Hopefully, I will be back.  Not sure how frequently, but hopefully it won't be six months. 

much love and many prayers... b

under the stars...

 The night sounds are so beautiful.  If Hubs was home I'd probably have him build us a small fire to sit beside and enjoy the beauty that surrounds us.  As he is still visiting his Sis, I am going to simply sit out here under the stars surrounded by the soft lights and enjoy the peacefulness.  I finished my sweater just in time, as I'm sitting here wrapped up in it's warmth, it's been a rather cool and breezy day.  A harbinger of the coming autumn season.  We are still a few weeks away and if it's anything like a normal year we will have balmy warm days through October and early November.  

But tonight is cool, almost cold, sitting here under the blanket of stars. The puppies are getting their final romp of the night, hopefully wearing themselves out so they will sleep.  Tomorrow will find Hubs back home and another week beginning.  

I feel like we are on the edge of something more powerful than any of us have ever imagined.  I don't know what it is, but there is an edginess to the world, to nature, to the energy around us.  I am praying that it will finally be the beginning of light and love, we've had so much sadness.  So much anger and confusion.  I am praying so much lately, almost pleading with God to hear the prayers of the weary.  

I have dear friends that live in Europe, I have family in states that are struggling, I pray daily that they are safe, healthy and protected.  I worry about the things I hear on the news, will the people of Europe truly suffer what keeps coming up?  What about California?  

I try not to dwell on these things.  It's one of the reasons I am being so quiet lately.  I don't have the energy left to wonder and dwell.  Instead, I am focused on leaving it all in God's hands and doing the things that bring me comfort and peace. 

A friend reached out the other day asking if I could donate to a silent auction they are having in her community.  I paused for a moment, I needed more information.  I'm still pondering what my donation will be, do I truly have anything of value that will help?  When she told me the theme of the event, my decision was made.  How could I not support "A Journey of Hope".  

In my former life we used to do an ice breaker at our meetings, one of the things to do was to say which one of the core values we most identified with... I always chose hopeful. I am not so sure that I am a pure optimist, I often find myself working through feelings of defeat and loss, but I am forever hopeful that pure goodness will ultimately rule the day.  I am forever hopeful of a bright future. 

She had me at hope. 

I will start to plan my donation tomorrow, I might even deliver it when I head to the Amish market on Friday.  She doesn't need it right away, but I know the longer I ponder it, the less sure I will be of my choices. It's best to simply dive in. 

Sitting out here in the garden, surrounded by stars and the calming sounds of the night, I feel a strong sense of hope.  Yep, I do wear those rose colored glasses well.  I simply cannot accept that this hurting, divided, injured world is going to stay the way it is.  We are not meant to hate, to fear, to doubt.  We are meant to love, to lift up, to give, to hope.  

Hmmmm... Almost sounds like I've been drinking a bit too much wine doesn't it?  Ironically, it's just Earl Gray tea with a couple of sugar-free peanut butter cookies.  I can't be the only person that feels hopeful.  At least I pray that I am not. 

To me being hopeful doesn't mean I am sitting around doing nothing.  That I am just going to pray and wait for a good outcome.  I happen to be a person that believes the Lord is asking us to roll up our sleeves and do the work he is asking us to do.  

I feel strongly that I need to keep taking good care of my family.  Right now the only part of my family that needs me to be there full time are the puppies and my sweet Hubs.  I've raised strong children that are busy living their best lives.  I take my role seriously.  

As I worked today on putting up things for winter I felt a calmness in my soul.  I love that I can spend a few hours and provide the freshness of summer all winter long.  My beautiful garden is still covered with a harvest not gathered yet.  While stirring the batch of apple butter and peeling the acorn squash to be canned now and roasted later, I was plotting what I will do with this incredible bounty of peppers that I am surrounded with.  

Some I will dry and grind, those Hot Pinata Peppers, look to be powerful in the tiny, tight, gnarled spears. I didn't buy those seeds, they came in one of my orders as a thank you.  I have no idea how spicy they are, all I know is they look fierce. The sweet peppers will probably end up eaten by Hubs and those not eaten will end up in a stuffed pepper soup.  

There are still tomatoes and okra that I harvest almost daily, the same with the green beans.  I canned the last batch of green beans, but Hubs couldn't wait and made them for dinner the next night.  I have to admit, I was fairly pleased with them.  It's the first time I've ever had a good harvest of beans.  It's hard to have a great bountiful garden when you grow it in pots on your deck. 

Tomorrow morning my friend will drop off some soups for me to process for them.  I have so many people that I am able to lean into and I love that they lean into me also.  In my perfect world, we aren't keeping score, we are working seamlessly together.  Each of us lifting the other in some way. They are always there when I need them, I am thankful to be able to be there for them also.  

I've enjoyed my quiet days, the television hasn't come on, the silence has been a balm to my weary soul.  I've played with my puppies, I've chatted with friends, I have barely left the house or even put shoes on (I love to walk barefoot outside - drives Hubs a bit nutty), I have puttered, I have worked, I have prayed and I have laughed.  But it's time for Hubs to come home.  We are a pair and it feels odd and empty to not have him here.  I'm still going to treasure the silence, but I will welcome the comfort that comes from hearing the television and his music wafting through the house. 

I thought that maybe there was no moon above tonight, but looking to the east I see it is starting to peek through the trees, I can't see enough of it to know what phase its' in, but it is bright through the branches. I don't think it is full, but it's close.  

Do you feel the energy changing?  Are you seeing a glass half full or half empty?  We are heading into a powerful time, are you ready?  Am I?

love and prayers... 

just stopping by...

I've been away.  Mostly not physically away, but definitely mentally.  I have needed a break.  In fact I might still need a break, I'm not sure.  But my sweet Hubs asked me yesterday if I was ever going to blog again.  I have been blogging, what I haven't been doing is posting them.  I found myself in a place of needing to feel the silence.  I think I am still there. 

I feel like God is telling me to be still.  To simply be on the sidelines and be still.  So I have been.  At least where people and blogging is concerned.  I've made my own circle very small, there are few people I speak with or engage with right now.  I spend most of my time alone or with Hubs and my pups and I'm finding peace in that. The silence has been healing.  

There is so much going on in our world right now that is not okay.  There is so much that is just radiating lies and deceit.  I seriously started to ponder moving to a very remote spot, now is not the time for that.  Might it happen down the road... maybe.  My spirit would love it, but now is simply not the time. 

While I've been being still, I've actually been very, very busy.  I've been learning things.  I've been doing things.  I've traveled, I've explored, I've created and I've experienced things.  It's been heavenly.  

I've been super busy with my small circle, spending time with family when we can and close friends.  But mostly just disconnected.  I can't deal with some of what is going on in the world, I don't have words to pretend that some of it is okay, I don't want to pretend that it's okay.  

his happy place

exploring the shore, looking for dead fish

such a good little camper

lounging around watching the fire

Hubs took a week of vacation, although most of it ended up being recovering from the yucky cold we both managed to catch.  During that peaceful time we rested, we sat by fires, we went on a far too short camping trip to spend time with Sis, we watched the meteor shower from the banks of the Ohio river, and we regrouped. 

He fished a bit, I knit a lot, we explored new areas and found a fantastic Amish quilt shop that I feel strongly about returning to.  We bought farm fresh produce and spent even more time sitting by the fire in the middle of the night. It was absolutely pure heaven. 

worn out from adventuring

Beau sitting on Mom's lap - yep he still thinks he's tiny

I don't feel like I am becoming a hermit, I deeply enjoyed being out and about with my pups in Paducah. It's amazing the number of people you meet when you have two adorable pups that are fairly well behaved (I mean they are only 9 months old and have their moments of excitement).  We met some wonderful folks from Chicago (currently) but originally from Poland.  We had a great time talking about the past and present and their experiences in this country.  They are old enough to remember when Poland was a communist country, their perspective was absolutely fascinating. 

I've been busy working on my cantry, falling more in love with producing our own food every time.  My friends had picked up some produce for me at the Amish market while I was out of town, which meant lots of fun waiting for me when I got home.  I also brought some produce home.  If you've never canned your own food, you cannot appreciate the flavors that you are missing. 

Monday was definitely productive

Last night while I was engrossed in my current project Hubs went to the cantry and selected the dinner items that he was going to prepare. In about 15 minutes he called down the stairs for me to come up and eat, the only thing missing was our grain free bread (I'd been busy and hadn't made a loaf).  It was warm, nourishing and delicious.  Why did I never make the time for this when I worked?  Oh yeah, I didn't have a life back then. 

I'm currently working on a sweater, that was my travel project, it's hard to believe but it is actually for me.  I didn't get it finished, I didn't figure I would, but it is coming along nicely.  Being in this space and time is really magnifying my joy in slow work.  For years, everything was squeeze it in, rush through it kind of things.  Now I can take my time, I can create what I want, when I want. And my focus is more on us.  I am already planning to work on several more projects that I have never had the time or energy to work on in the past.  I have the yarn, fabric, supplies, etc... This slower pace is allowing me to savor the task, to treasure the moments that goes into the creation and finished product. 

I can't wait for the cooler weather when I will pull on my newest pair of socks to warm my feet and my newest sweater to keep me warm.  It fills me with accomplishment to know that I am the one that has created it.  From what I am seeing in the stores around me, I may be very thankful for these skills in the not so distant future.  That and my obsessive collecting of supplies over they years "for the some day when I have time" moments. 

Yesterday I spent the entire day quilting a quilt top that I have owned for about 20 or so years.  I bought it a long time ago, not because it was beautiful, it's more or less ordinary.  Made from someone's scrap basket somewhere in the 1980's no doubt based on the fabrics.  I bought it because I knew that someone had put a lot of time and effort into it and it needed to be finished.  I finally decided yesterday was the day.  It is almost king sized, possibly is, I haven't put it on the king sized bed yet, but it took the majority of a 108"x108" batting and backing.  I chose a simply meander for the quilting, I realized after years of day dreaming how I was going to complete it that the piecing was rough and much of it was questionable as to how it would lay.  

I definitely didn't think I would be able to quilt it in a day, but the quilting fairies were kind and the new thread I bought at the Amish shop is fantastic in my longarm and after about six hours of work, the entire quilt is quilted and today I will finish it's binding.  After so many decades it will finally be finished and ready to grace a bed, to provide warmth and comfort, to be cherished for what it is.  I can't wait to finish it. 

I'd planned to be in my sewing room first thing today, but life and puppies had other plans.  Our sprinkler system is malfunctioning and basically flooded our yard, the soil is rich and almost pure black.  I know this because well... puppies... I've spent the morning cleaning up the muddy footprints.  I'm not done.  I still have furniture to clean and carpets to try to salvage.  I've decided it comes up best when completely dry and vacuumed, so that is what we are waiting on now. 

Belle cuddling?  Be still my heart!

Dad's movie buddy - unbelievable

I'm a touch behind on basically everything, I was allowing it to stress me out.  Instead I simply stopped.  I narrowed my focus and became okay.  The only person setting those deadlines was me.  I was creating the storm of anxiety that I was experiencing. 

Hubs isn't going to notice if I don't get every chore that I have assigned to my personal to do list done, he has no idea what is on it.  He is going to notice if I don't fix meals, the pups notice that also, or if he doesn't have clean clothing.  But the rest of it is completely self imposed.  I've needed time to step back from that mindset and to process things in general. 

I'm not sure if I will be blogging much for the time being.  I'm still far too content in my own bubble, I have lots of things I want to say, but I feel strangely drawn towards silence.  I think I am content being on the sidelines of life right now.  Living, doing and being my own person disconnected from the chaos that is swirling all around.  

It's time to return to my bubble, there are things waiting for my attention that I long to do.  I am holding space and praying for all of us at this time, I just don't want to participate in any of it... 

love and peace...

taking things slow...

Hubs is taking a much deserved mid-day nap, the pups are running in the backyard like their tails are on fire.  They've been inside for the past 2 hours, they have energy to burn. And I'm sitting here in the semi-darkness, enjoying the quiet. 

It's been a crazy busy morning since I climbed out of bed.  Hubs had the television going and the pups were full of energy.  It was a bit much for me, I like the silence.  I'm treasuring this moment in time. I spent the early part of the day cooking up a storm.  My girl decided that we should all get together this evening to celebrate mine and the oldest's birthdays.  They are actually almost two weeks away, but she will be out of town and wants to party early.  Works for us, any excuse to gather with each other is definitely ok. 

Everything is prepped and shortly we will gather to spend time with family and close friends this evening as the temps mellow out. I went with a middle eastern menu because my original plan of hot dogs was shot down cold.  Seems the girl had been dealing with kiddo's for 48 hours and she wanted something grown up. So we will have kabobs, a bulgur salad, a caprese salad, pita's and mixed olives and pickles. It just felt like a summery kind of meal.  Of course we will finish it off with lemon blueberry cheesecake (sugar free of course). It will be fun to simply relax with family and friends, enjoying the beautiful summer weather and the laughter of those we love. 

Kabobs are ready

As usual things didn't all get done like I planned this weekend and as I was upstairs getting ready a bit ago I was thinking about how I struggle to keep track of days anymore.  I used to be able to tell you the day of the week without a moment's hesitation, now... well... it's a good thing Hubs still has set days of the week to do things, because I would definitely forget without his schedule. 

I had to throw in a load of laundry, as the bottle of olive oil slightly exploded on me - suffice it to say the lid popped off, almost dropped it, ended up with it splashing my shirt, my hair and my face.  Thank goodness it's good for your hair and skin, even if getting it out is a challenge. Anyhow, as I was pondering if I should do laundry or not, I realized that I couldn't remember the actual day of the week, did Hubs need work clothes, or could it wait until tomorrow?  

It is such an odd sensation when you aren't really sure of days and times after living your entire life basically wrapped up in a schedule. It's incredibly liberating and calming.  I simply don't worry about things like that any longer.  

Dad... we'd like to talk to you about that
bite of bread, about sharing?  We'll wait.

Time feels irrelevant.  We are moving into the eighth month of the year very soon here, yet it feels like the year has just begun and at the same time, I can barely remember the beginning of the year.  I guess it happens as you get older, I don't know, but it is a gift that I enjoy very much.  

The tasks did not get completed, but life has been savored, so... I'm really okay with it. I've sat and spent time with Hubs.  Ran a few errands.  Chatted on the phone with folks and basically just enjoyed.  Hubs and I worked on our yard and our house, we played with our sweet pups, and relaxed while he watched television.  

Sometimes you need to step outside of the have to do's and simply exist.  It's wonderful.  

Hibiscus Okra getting
ready to bloom 

Today has been slow and beautiful.  I needed the stopping of the outside, I needed the simple. Maybe tomorrow I will step back into the world.  I do have things to do. For now... I'm going to sit here and enjoy this peaceful moment.  With pups asleep at my feet, the wind chimes playing their beautiful music and the silence surrounding me.  

love and prayers...

a trip to the countryside...

Been on the struggle bus today.  My wake up time was 1:11 am.  Not by choice.  Seems the neighbors had friends over and that was the time they decided to move their screaming argument outside.  It was loud enough to not only wake the puppies sleeping on the second floor in the back of the house, but sustained enough for them to not go back to bed for quite a while. 

There are times that I am so envious of sweet Hubs and his hearing loss. Once the chaos started it was on-going for about 30 minutes.  I'm really sorry that her actions led his friends to think he was a total asshole - yup that one is a direct quote.  The fact that the world was slightly a dumpster fire yesterday, led me to refrain from opening the door and yelling out that the neighbors would have to agree. Sadly those particular neighbors are not very neighborly or considerate, so it was a reasonable assumption that their friends fell into the same category.  That and the fact that they were screaming at each other in the middle of the night in a neighborhood they do not live in...

I tried for hours to get back to sleep, I was so very exhausted.  My brain was simply not taking the hint.  Just like now.  Hubs is snoozing away, the puppies are snoozing away and my brain is marching forward with its to do list.  All of the things it wants me to get done today. All of the things I need to do today. 

Around 7:00 am I decided I'd just get up.  Wandered to the treetop garden with my coffee and sat, the puppies wanted attention and I figured sitting there half asleep was just as useful as lying in bed staring at the clock that didn't want to stop moving forward. Hubs joined me for smoothies and chatting while I finally got motivated enough to harvest all those pretty little yellow tomatoes, they were glistening like gold nuggets in the early morning sunshine. 

Going over our plans for the day I mentioned that I had wanted to go to the farmers market, but wasn't sure I was willing to go into the city. I also said I wished that Farmington wasn't so far away as their was an awesome Mennonite/Amish market there that I was longing to go back to. Honestly, with gas the way it is I felt like I was being a bit selfish wanting to do something like that. 

sheer joy heading out for the day

so tired on the trip home... 

Hubs on the other hand jumped at the opportunity! We showered the pups (yikes did they ever need it) and got ourselves ready.  Jumped in my little SUV and we were off on an adventure.  The pups were excited to get to go for a ride, I think they have been missing their adventures. 

I had only been there once with one of my friends last summer and had misplaced the flyer with the address, I have no idea why I never thought to simply look it up online.  Maybe I didn't figure it would be there, but there it was - only 83 miles from our doorstep. It's cash only, although I did notice they take checks for a fee.  There is a sign asking that you dress conservatively and do not wear low cut tops.  I'd chosen to wear a v-neck this morning and felt slightly guilty for it. 

Anyone need 2 turtle doves
or a bunny?  These young men 
can help you out!

As we wandered around the pole barn filled with amazingly fresh produce and handmade items, both Hubs and I had a great time.  I can assure you I have a large amount of canning to do this afternoon, but the produce was literally fresh from the farm, they kept bringing it in the whole time we were there. It was beautiful, fresh, firm, ripened in the field.  We determined it was worth the drive and then some.  We bought several heirloom varieties and Hubs even found himself two new belts.  And I will admit to picking up a few packets of seeds, saved fresh from their harvest. 

After spending a bit of time there we headed back to the blueberry farm that we'd passed driving in.  Puppies were welcome and we wanted to pick some berries.  Hubs got distracted with the babies and took them running in an empty field while I picked berries.  It's been so long since I picked blueberries.  It was something I always took my kids to do when we lived in Washington state.  The whole time I was wishing my youngest grand wasn't out of town, because I am fairly positive that she would have loved the experience. 

It wasn't what we planned to do today.  It was 100% spur of the moment.  It was absolutely wonderful.  

Here in the city, things are a little out of sorts right now.  Folks are highly charged and the fire is being force fed.  Out there, in the country, life was very different.  Very calm, very nurturing of one another.  It was definitely what I needed.  

This world of ours is definitely going through some stuff.  Honestly, this year is harsher than the two previous.  And I don't think it's going to calm for a long while yet.  Who knows if it will happen in my lifetime.  I've opted to just keep living my life. 

If anyone is looking for me, I'll be expanding and tending my garden. Taking care of my puppies, loving my family, doing the things.  I might be knitting dish cloths, I might be working on quilts, I might be making soap or g-tube bibs.  It all depends on the needs of my suburban homestead on that day and at that time. 

What I won't be doing is loosing my stuffing over things that are swirling around about me.  It all feels like a "b" movie or a game.  I'm watching people being manipulated and feeling shock at the sheer volume of misleading and inaccurate statements being bandied about.  And honestly, it's from every side, so... the television doesn't need to be turned on. 

Instead, I'm going to stay very, very busy.  I am going to continue my happy slide into the life that Hubs and I are creating for ourselves.  My little house in the burbs is my happy place.  There are battles that are mine to fight, and those I will participate in.  The things swirling right now, are not mine. 

Well, I'm still super tired, but I have so much beautiful produce that is waiting for my attention.  The garden needs an afternoon watering - it's crazy hot today.  I need to focus on what truly impacts Hubs and I.  

love and peace...

everyday ordinary things...

The brilliant autumn blue sky is hiding behind a blanket of clouds this morning, rain is on the way.  I still haven't completed my outside chores, but that quilt I have been working on is 90% done! I just need to finish sewing on the binding.  When I looked at the clock last night it was 10:01 when I stopped working on it.  I will wrap it up today.  And hopefully get it delivered by tomorrow.  It's turning out awesome, I don't know why I was so worried about doing it. 

I will be the first to admit that standing for 5 hours at my longarm on the concrete floor yesterday was probably stupid.  My knee and back were pretty ticked off, but nothing a good night of sleep didn't fix. As I move forward with making quilts I feel strongly that I am going to need to get an anti-fatigue mat or seriously plan for no more than a 2 hour stretch at quilting. And as I get totally lost in the creation process, the mat is probably going to be the solution.  I hate to spend more money, but I don't want to lose my joy in the midst of pain. 

Truthfully that is why I stopped sewing last night.  The binding has to be put on by hand - at least for this one - and my poor fingers aren't very calloused right now, so they were hurting pretty badly. Add to that the fact that I sent a nut pick into my left thumb on Monday (the reason no knitting has been happening) and my fingers have not been having the time of their lives. 

As I was finishing up the quilting yesterday, my mind had already moved on to my next couple of projects and prioritizing them.  I am making a memory quilt for a dear friend, but she doesn't need it until Christmas and it will be a fairly quick project as it is only one sided and a twin size at that.  So I think the next project will be my great nephew's quilt as he is due within the next month. That will also be a fairly quick one.  It will take me longer to cut it out and to put it on the longarm than to actually make it.  Probably a days work.  

I've been lost in podcasts while working, nothing wrong with learning at the same time your hands are busy with mindless work.  I'm currently deeply interested in homesteading sites.  I would be lying if I said the out of control inflation wasn't causing me serious concerns.  I am a bit of a planner, not enough of one if you want the truth, I'm still far to reactionary as opposed to being prepared.  But I am working on that. 

I talked a bit about the news from our natural gas provider, that started me feeling a bit on edge and unprepared.  The fact that the shelves at the stores seem to still have huge holes has me a bit more concerned, and the way prices are going up... well... a bit of common sense never hurt anyone. 

In fact that is how I ended up with a small hole in my thumb. We eat a lot of nuts, we cook with them, we munch on them... they are a staple of our diet.  This past weekend at the farmers market we got a great deal on some nuts in the shell still, I spent the afternoon on Monday shelling nuts.  I'm okay with doing a bit of manual labor to save a few dollars and put up some supplies for winter. The hole will heal and if I'm lucky I might even have a small callous to prevent that in the future. 

I don't advocate for hoarding and the like, although if you were to look in my studio you might beg to differ, but I do believe in being prepared.  I grew up on military bases, sometimes you waited a really long time for the supply ships to arrive and when they did, sometimes there was simply not enough stuff for all of the folks that had been waiting.  I think it is one of the reasons I am fairly flexible about a lot of things. 

I've decided that I will be a bit old fashioned.  No surprise there, huh?  I am working on planning out our winter stores.  Making sure that I have enough of things we use, preserving or dehydrating things that will come in handy for us over the winter.  I just feel the need to be prepared. To plan ahead so to speak. I don't know why, but this winter has me concerned.  Maybe it's all the strange happenings.  Maybe it is PTSD from the past 18 months or so.  Maybe it's the way the cost of everything is increasing at a steady rate. And maybe it's all the people that appear to be absolutely blind to what is occurring with these price increases.  

A bit of preparedness that I never need, sure beats the heck out of needing something and not being able to get it.  I firmly believe life is about checks and balances.  

I am also working on planning to teach some of these more basic skills.  Do they even offer home economics in schools anymore?  I am all about people being more self-sufficient. 

Now that I have at least one of the three critical quilts almost done, I can start planning a soaping day.  I haven't bought soap in years, I don't intend to start now.  I will take an inventory of supplies, plan out my recipes and then get myself busy.  It might be a two or three day process to get all of it made, but then it is off of my list. Some of the favorites are simple melt and pour soaps, but they are so wonderful to use.  Others are more labor intensive, of course those ones would be my favorites, so they must happen also.  I will also make some of the hot process soaps that so many of my friends like, my well stocked soap closet must contain Wild Sexy Man soap.  Please don't ask me what the passion is around that one, because I only made it as a joke and it has developed a life of it's own. 

I also have a few other projects that I need to get working on.  I have candles to make, not that I am running low, but because they simply need to happen. I have boxes of supplies sitting around, time to make some magic.  Any that we don't personally need I will sell or give as gifts. 

I have also decided to brush off some of my old scouting skills and makes some fire starters for us.  One can never have too many fire starters when you have a fireplace. And who knows it could be a cold winter for us if these big corporations don't get their business together.

Well, it looks like it's just another day in my wacky world.  I love it.  The only thing I would change would be bringing our family members closer.  I miss my boy and his girl.  I wish my sister in law was closer, same with my mom and sisters.  I wish my dear friends were closer. But each of us has to live our life's journey, and theirs are not in my backyard. 

I would love to have acres and all of us on it. Where we could all work together and support one another.  I wish that I was closer to my sister right now that is trying to make miracles happen.  I would love to be able to work alongside her and create those miracles.  Instead, I watch helplessly from afar and wish.  I simply don't know what else to do, I have tons of skills that would benefit her, I am just too far away to help. 

I'd better get busy.  Want to tidy up and shower before my friend comes over for a day of creating.  I am looking forward to visiting and working side by side.  I have discovered I truly enjoy time with my tribe, it changes up the pace and allows me to "people" on my own terms.  

One of the ladies I am really digging into right now always says "stay busy"... I love that thought! Stay busy creating the life you want and crave on your deepest soul level! 

love and peace my friends...

ps... I am seriously considering no longer sharing my blog on Facebook, so if that is the only way you know if I have posted and reading it is something you enjoy, please consider following it. 

everyday life...

Chasing sunrises always starts a day off beautifully and this mornings did not disappoint!  Hubs came up from the man-cave just before sunrise and asked if I was ready for my morning walk.  I have to admit the twisted side of me wonders when he asks me that if I am his current puppy and feel the need to wag my tail.  But the normal side of me is so very thankful to his dedication to helping me recover and become strong and independent yet again. 

As we slowly made our walk, which I am excited to say I was able to add .1 miles to it.  That seems like so little, but for me it is a huge increase.  One more street light makes a world of difference. Every few days I am trying for another small victory, one more street light or maybe adding a small hill (not much - maybe just a few degrees).  The healing both physically and mentally is powerful! Add a beautiful sunrise and the happiness of the soul is elevated to an unreal level. 

I am sitting here "cooking" my leg right now, I have to do a full hour three times a day right now, and yesterday I missed one.  I didn't realize how important this step has been to my healing until I tried to sleep last night.  My leg ached no matter how I tried to sleep.  Note to self: Don't skip cooking! I cannot wait until it is not needed. 

This morning after our walk Hubs and I were hanging out in the treetop garden, the temperature at this time of the year is so beautiful and relaxing. Sipping coffee, watching the sunrise over the the trees and chatting is probably one of my favorite pastimes and I hate when we ultimately have to get up and get busy.  During the week that time always comes far too soon.  On the weekends we are often able to sit until we feel ready to start the day, today was no exception. 

We chatted about what the weekend holds for us, this is a honey-do weekend.  A friend is coming to help us install our fans/lights in the two front rooms, the guest room and and my studio get so warm and they do not have good lighting, which I can work around but it frustrates sweet Hubs to no end.  

I spent a few moments in my garden, harvesting tomato's and cleaning up beds as the season wears on and finally starting to really look at my fall planting.  I made a few a list of a few things I need to get and checked out my seed stock.  Pretty sure I can get another planting of radishes, lettuce and some spinach in before we have frost and as I have the seeds on hand, I believe I will.  I found my tools stashed in the garage, my seeds and gloves are ready, all I need now is some soil, the beds are a bit lean and could use a refill.  Depending on how install goes that might have to wait until tomorrow. 

I also noticed several of my houseplants need some attention also.  Sometimes it feels like there is more to do than there are hours to complete and others are semi-empty and the possibilities to fill that time are endless. 

Hubs is getting ready to pressure-wash the house and sidewalks.  I want to help so badly, I love pressure washing and the therapeutic nature of the back to back motion.  I know that I do not ready to tackle such a job, but it doesn't stop my desire to be out there.  I also know that pressure washing is not good for me with my mold allergies, it definitely stirs that up to the forefront. I wonder if he will notice if I am staring out the window longingly. Doubtful, he gets lost in the project also, so I know he will be immersed in his music and the rhythmic motions.  I guess I will leave him to enjoy it and focus on my own projects.  

He works so hard during the week, that I am super grateful for his willingness to spend the weekend doing the list of honey-do's that I cannot currently do for myself.  I get very frustrated when I cannot do the chores that I want to do.  One of my greatest joys of being home based now, is that I can take care of my home and provide a warm and welcome home for us. 

My contribution to the weekend will be doing some cooking for us.  I baked grain-free bread yesterday, it turned out amazing. Only needing to stand for a few moments of time is something I can easily do.  As he is loving that so much, today will involve making some grain-free nacho chips and of course he needs some cookies.  I think today will be pecan sandies.  Something perfect for enjoying with a hot cup of coffee or tea. 

I will also take care of washing the linens and those chores that will allow me to sit and rest when needed.  I feel like I am not carrying my weight in our lives right now, even while I try to remind myself that when he was so sick I carried all the weight. To me that doesn't really matter. I am not one of those people that believes in keeping score, I feel that we are both part of an incredible partnership and we each are responsible for lifting the other up when we are not strong enough.  I don't believe in 50/50, but at the same time I feel guilty when I cannot contribute at least that amount. 

I love these kind of weekends, they fill my heart with all the comforts of home.  The simple things that make a life and home.  Working with Hubs is one of my favorite things to do.  Whether we are puttering around the house, working in the yard, doing some woodworking, quilting, well simply anything it is perfect.  I am blessed, I love being married to my very best friend and soulmate.  I firmly believe that we were always meant to be together and I love the beauty that comes with that. 

Who knows what tomorrow will bring, if we get all our chores done maybe we will get to have a day of play or it may be a day of rest.  Some of it will depend on the weather and if the rain we are expecting actually decides to roll in. 

I hope each of you has time for things that fill your heart and soul this weekend... 

Love and peace...