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Showing posts from February, 2018

prayers in the silence...

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It's been pouring rain for hours.  I'm finding the sound soothing to my battered soul.  February has been brutal.  And I am worn out.

It's our Panda's first birthday.  And what should be a joyous day of celebration is being overshadowed by all of the negatives that are hovering in the air.

Hubs and I spent last weekend in Arkansas with some of the family.  Daddy should be well on the road to recovery.  Yet we almost lost him several times in the past week.  He's now laying there in a semi-induced coma.  Sleeping and healing.  I wish they would put his chest back together, I feel like I would be calmer if that happened.

A week ago, I was debating about the trip.  The snow was falling heavy and I just didn't know if making the trip would be of value. There were some very heated emotions and pain and distance were not making it better.  The larger part of my heart wanted to simply stay home, wrapped in a warm blanket in front of a warm fire.  I longed to be near …

in the darkness...

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d I gave up sleeping about an hour ago. 

I just had too much on my mind. 

I'm currently faced with a task that falls into my least favorite category.  I know in my heart I am creating my own mental blocks and allowing other things to get in the way of completing the task.  I mean, I am writing a blog post before 5 am to avoid it. 

I know it is what stole my sleep. I know that even my sub-conscious is chatting with me about it.  I simply don't want to engage. I can see the open tab, even as I'm writing this.  It's lurking there, mocking me.  It's truly soul sucking. Thank goodness that silly tab cannot blink on it's own, I am sure it would if it could.

Instead I am sitting here, hearing echo's from the man cave, Hubs evidently woke up early too. 

I also freaked myself out trying to figure out what the odd scratching sound coming from the corner of the dark room was.  I am not like Hubs, I don't turn on lights often.  I enjoy the calming effect from the d…

creating peace

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I love a productive day.

Sweet Hubs is down in his recliner, where he's been most of the day.  He ran out of muscle relaxers and his arm feels like it is on fire.  I'm hoping the chiropractor can give him some relief soon.  He's only had one of 3 months worth of needed treatment. So I am guessing hoping for a miracle at this point might be a bit premature.  Hopefully our GP can give him another prescription for the muscle relaxers.  While they didn't fix it, they definitely seemed to make it tolerable. 

I haven't bugged him much today, because just like everyone else, when he's in pain he's a bit of a bear. After writing this morning, I decided to step away from electronics.  I could have done hours worth of work.  Either professional or personal.  I decided to feed my creative soul instead.

I am feeling worn out from the negativity that seems to be everywhere.  Weary from all the people that cannot just be happy.  I've been dealing with too much of it…

a lazy Sunday...

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Good morning!  It's not a pleasant one outside today, so I feel strongly that I am going to stay inside and get a few things done.

Hubs and I tried to take the boys for their morning walk and literally slide off the sidewalk.  They weren't digging it either.  It's odd, it looks fine, just a light dusting.  Unfortunately, that dusting is ice.  So a short slide down the hill and we are all inside and staying put.  From the sounds outside it seems like most everyone agrees with us.  The only vehicle we've even heard is the snow plow, laying down layers of salt. I'd love to salt the walk and drive, but I won't.  I don't like it on the boys feet.  It hurts them.

Tomorrow will be warmer, so I've decided that it is God's way of saying "stay home and rest".  I haven't done that in a bit and I am starting to feel the effects. Yesterday after work I simply stopped. I can't remember the last time I curled up in a blanket and just sat.  Much …

waiting...

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It's crazy quiet in here. 

My eye glass case snapping shut feels almost obscene. 

Occasionally my cell phone vibrates a silent message, I haven't told anyone that I was arriving early.

I wanted a moment to myself.  In the quiet.

I left the Lou early today. Quick breakfast with Hubs, needed to be sure he was feeling okay before I left.  It was a hard decision to leave him knowing he's hurting so badly.  But it was harder to stay away.

Dad's been in the hospital for a week.  They decided yesterday that they were going to operate. If Grumpy Gus doesn't decide they aren't.  The doc feels pretty okay about the procedure, but told us girls if it was his dad he'd be here before the surgery.

I grabbed a few snacks and drinks, Hubs gassed up my little car and I was ready to head south.

Luckily I had a conference call to make and loose ends to tie up as I drove the first hundred miles or so. I didn't have to be with myself. My thoughts didn't get to shout in …