judged...

It's incredible how a good night's rest can make your day so different from the day before.  I'm only on my second cup of coffee, but haven't drank a single cup hot yet.  Exhaustion can be your friend, I slept so well last night.  Here it is 8 am and I have already tidied the house, showered, fed everyone and now I'm sitting in my chair disappointing my big boy while I write. 

I guess I spend way too much time with my hair messy, roaming around in either my pj's or my "play clothes".  After drying my hair (usually let it air dry) and putting on jeans and a t-shirt I headed down stairs.  Popped my head in to check on Beau on my way down.  He was sound asleep, or at least it appeared that way, as soon as I cleared the doorway, he hopped up and dang near chased me down the stairs.  Running from door to door to see what mischief mom could be up to this early in the morning. Oh the disappointment as he headed up the stairs, glancing back at me with disdain, how dare I get his hopes up and then sit down and not go any where.  

Guess I will have to take them somewhere today, although I have no idea where.  Their favorite park is currently under water from the flooding. And I am fairly positive that my oldest grand daughter would be less than pleased if I showed up to pick her up for work with them in the backseat. Decisions, decisions.

the old lilac is finally getting flowers

The birds are singing and the world is slowly starting to green up nicely.  I love the freshness of spring, the transition from silent and bleak to vibrant and alive.  Definitely makes my world brighter.   We have a male cardinal that sleeps on a hook Hubs put up years ago to hang lights at Christmas from under the eave on the front porch.  He's very vocal when we go outside at night, letting us know that we do not belong in his space. By day he is out back or in the holly tree, very rarely do I spot him in the giant pine outside my sewing room.  He's never far.  My sweet Hubs named him Joe, because they say when a cardinal is near one of your departed loved ones is near also.  He's sure my dad is visiting and staying with us now.  Who knows... 

I used white cheddar, not yellow

Yesterday ended up super productive despite the level of exhaustion I was fighting off.  The Cheez its turned out incredible, so much so that I need to make another batch to go with the tomato soup we never got around to having last night.  I can't really describe the feeling of satisfaction that comes with knowing you can make some of the foods you love, minus the chemical cocktails they put in them. It feels as good as harvesting your own organic veggies and making your own quilts. 

Today will have to include some soap making, did a quick inventory yesterday and we are getting to a critical point.  It takes about six weeks for a batch to cure.  I've been saying for months that I was going to get a batch made, well... it hasn't happened.  Between illnesses, anxiety, the whole life thing... well, it took bottom priority. Hubs is running out of shaving lather and the supply of soaps are getting super slim, so this afternoon is dedicated to soaping.  I was looking through my different oils and feel like I can comfortably make two or three batches minimum.  That means at least 24 or 36 bars of soap.  I have plenty to make his shaving lather, so that isn't going to be a problem at all.  

A few weeks ago I made him an after shave lotion.  It was the first time he'd asked me to try it.  Thankfully, it turned out great and he's loving it.  Recipe is definitely saved! I'm going to match his shaving lather up with that fragrance oil so he doesn't have conflicting fragrances.

I truly love making soaps so I am sure why I put it off. Oh yeah, I'm not incredibly great at staying focused.  That is what I am currently working on after all.  Ya'll should totally see my calendar, all the lines scratched out, all the added items.  I'm working very hard on keeping myself organized and on track.  

She can be a bit judgy too...

Bless my sweet Hubs' heart he is trying so hard to help me.  It's sort of like the blind leading the blind.  Because both of us are great at making lists and knowing what needs done, but staying on track... well that is a whole different story. Thankfully, we are both focused on reclaiming out yard, before it all erodes down the hillside. 

About two weeks ago we addressed the issue of rerouting the drainage after the tree came down, and all of the storms have assured us that we fixed it correctly. This weekend we will start working on burying the drainage, getting loads of dirt to fix the erosion and finally starting to lay sod.  In the midst of all of that I will get the zinnia's planted at the fence line, combination of erosion control and beauty.  I am putting a lot of sunflowers in this year, so I need to get those planted as well.  They are perfect for healing the soil and ours needs it desperately.  Yep, I'm not a fan of chemicals in my yard either.  

I have a few other flowers we want to plant. Some cosmos and marigolds for the pollinators, some lavender for the pollinators and to harvest to make our own essential oils and such. We'll start on the wood piles before it gets hot, but definitely not this coming weekend.  

We pick up our newest elderberry tree in a couple of weeks.  I'm working on my elderberry forest.   Not really, although it will bring me to three american elderberries all different varietals. I didn't know that I'd be able to get a free tree in exchange for chopping down our massive Bradford pear tree.  I definitely didn't know I could get an elderberry.  I almost went with a PawPaw tree, I would love to include those in our space, but you need two of them also and I am running out of areas to place them, so I stuck with elderberry.  I use the berries for so many things and having three of them I might even be able to eventually be able to harvest enough to try my hand a wine. 

So on top of his birthday present, we have a very hard labor filled busy weekend waiting for us.  Oh yeah, we will also be setting up our new freeze dryer and getting it ready for it's maiden use. Both of us may need some extra rest next week! I guess it's the start of busy season...

Well, the oven beeped to let me know it is ready, so it's time to get busy.  I'm trying to limit myself to an hour total of typing, editing and stopping a dozen times for meds and/or potty breaks for pups. 

I hope you all have a wonderful day!  

love and peace...

listening to the rain...

Anyone else struggling to sleep?  Or rather stay asleep?  These super early mornings are making me a touch weary.  I feel like I should celebrate not waking until almost 3:45 am, for me lately that has become sleeping in.  I guess my head is swirling.  So many things going on, so much that I am wanting to be a part of or have committed to doing.  I admit that I definitely do not know how I functioned before leaving the "real" world behind. 

This morning the rolling thunder woke up Belle, she might pretend to be a tough pup, but she frightens just as easily as her marshmallow brother. The bangs and booms were definitely not to her liking at all.  It's all good, I sat and enjoyed the thunder and lightening and even went for a super early ride with the Hub to look at the lot at one of his buildings.  The storm was beautiful through the windshield. 

I guess I am becoming one of "those old folks", as more than once as the rain fell heavy I caught myself saying to Hubs... well it's a good thing, we have definitely needed it. The pups on the other hand simply weren't feeling it.  They wanted to have their faces in the wind as we drove.  Silly babies, love swimming in the river, you can barely get them out of the water, but heaven forbid rain, showers, water sprinklers think they are touching them.  

 Belle, are you making up for lost sleep?

Waking up so early definitely gives me a few more hours in the day for a broad assortment of things.  Mostly for spending a bit more time in prayer. Who knows maybe that is the reason that sleep is hard to find lately. Maybe I am being led to spend more time reading the Bible and studying?  It sure feels like it. 

This morning I couldn't spend time in the garden, far too soggy.  So I finished up my Christmas/Cinnamon Pickles.  For the record, they are fantastic and definitely addictive.  Hubs tasted one late yesterday and immediately smiled and said his gramma used to make them. The memory popped into his head so quickly at the flavor.  The look on his face when I handed him a bright red pickle to taste was priceless and if I hadn't been busy at the time I would have snapped a picture.  You would have thought I was handing him a live lobster to taste. Geez! Where is the trust?

14 pints of Christmas Pickles

My calendar is clear until Bible study tonight.  I will heading to the crafting areas and to get busy, can't work outside, focus on inside.  I have a few sewing projects I am working on and I have a few crafting projects to work on.  Pretty sure I won't be bored at all today, even if I am not going to be playing in the garden. I find when I keep busy, I don't get so tired from the odd hours I've been sleeping.  

I should can up the potatoes, but... I am not really excited about peeling all of them today, so fairly certain that isn't going to happen.  Besides, I am going to make a beef stew and I'm not so sure how many of them I will use for that.  I have so much I have harvested from the garden that I don't want to waste and I love having it on the shelf to grab on those nights I simply don't want to cook.  We are rapidly moving back into soup and stew weather, the time to prepare is now.  

It's even lovely in the rain...

This balancing act I have stuck myself in the middle of is a bit precarious.  I just keep reminding myself, that these are all conscious choices that I made.  And frankly, I am in a bubble of pure joy, so please don't think it is complaining at all.  I cherish being a home maker and all that it entails. 

In my circle of friends there are many struggling with things right now.  From health, to careers, to relationships, to finances and fears.  Some are dealing with issues that feel far greater than they can deal with alone.  I've been there.  Pretty sure we all have.  Life is not easy, sometimes the struggle can be overwhelming.

Might I suggest Psalms 46. None of us are ever alone, unless we choose to be. We always have God with us. I am finding so much calm and peace in many different verses, in my faith that in putting on the armor of God, I am safe, secure and protected.  It doesn't mean bad things won't happen.  It means that I have the weapons to weather the storms they may bring.  

I also find much peace in knowing that I am surrounded by an army of family and friends, many of whom I know I can lean into at a moments notice.  And I will know that they are praying for me and supporting me.  I try to always be that person for others. If you ever need me to pray for you, know that you simply need to ask.  

Well speaking of storms... it's time for me to get busy that craft show is rapidly sneaking up on me. And I need to address some paperwork for damage to the roof and my chimney cap before it is time to let my creative side loose in the playrooms...  

love and prayers...

Give us this day...

It's so quiet in the house this morning.  Sweet Hubs had to be to work basically in the middle of the night.  There is a big project starting today, having been in the same line of work, I completely understand the insanity of the hours sometimes. It isn't an everyday occurrence, but there are times.  This month has had a lot of those times.  Mostly caused by the insane weather we have had this month.  It's been crazy.  Today is just a normal big project. 

I have been puttering in the silence taking care of my chores for the day.  That way I won't feel guilty when I head into one of the craft spaces.  I feel like today is going to be wrapped up in the sewing room.  I am not all together sure what inspired me to sign up for a craft show, when I have very little inventory made up... oh well, it's a done deal now, so time to hustle.  

Add that to it's harvest season and I am seriously questioning my own sanity.  This years' garden has been so very bountiful, that I cannot seem to keep up.  What an incredible challenge to have.  As I walk around harvesting and watering I thank God for such blessings.  I mean today alone our meals will contain roasted potatoes and peppers from the garden and steamed green beans.  There will also be salads of fresh tomatoes and cucumbers that are multiplying at a rate that seems impossible. 

Yup... that's a cuke I missed... Not sure what
to do with that...

Yesterday alone I harvested 8 cayenne peppers that are dehydrating as I type.  The beautiful plants are covered with peppers and each day yields more and more.  We use a lot of red pepper in our cooking, so who could possibly complain about something like that? A bit later today I will harvest a few more of the chamomile buds and also some white clover buds.  I am dehydrating those for a variety of purposes.  They make a wonderful cup of tea or I can put them in tinctures and oils for medicinal use. I haven't really started drying the herbs yet, although I really need to get organized.  And it's time to start planning and planting the fall garden. 

Yep... I might have been a touch crazy.  

The reason that I chose the name Waste Knot, Want Knot is because of the fact that I want the entire focus to be on upcycling, reusing, repurposing and using up what I already have, bits, pieces, scraps of this or that.  

Our great grandmothers and grandfathers survived several times in our country's history that were not bountiful or plentiful.  In fact the great depression destroyed many, it also brought forth some incredibly strong and creative people.  Ones that were able to not only survive, but thrive.  If you are here today, you probably have a healthy dose of that strength and ingenuity.  

Not all of us use that part of ourselves.  We've allowed society to create newer and better (that part is seriously questionable) things.  All in the name of making our lives easier. I'm not so sure it's made life easier.  In fact I would propose that it has made us slaves to a commercial system, one where we trade bits and pieces of our very souls in exchange for the next great thing.  

For years I have written about my own struggles with work/life balance.  Oddly, I work harder now than I ever did for someone else.  But the balance is 100% about living my best life. As that has evolved for me over the past two plus years I am even more inclined to think like my ancestors did.  

I don't know all of my family tree, but the parts I do know tell a story of strong people.  People that were survivors.  Some of the areas they settled in give new meaning to the phrase "dirt poor".  Then I follow those family lines, I realize that not only did they survive, they thrived and flourished.

Use it up, use it out, make it do or do without.  For years I have said that verse here in this blog as well as a personal mantra. Hubs and I are often tinkering on this or that, finding solutions that we didn't even know we had.  Now that I have the time, energy and my health has returned and is balanced I find myself being drawn more and more into using my imagination and skills.  There aren't really enough hours in the day for everything I dream of doing, probably some of the reason that my sleep has been spotty and disrupted.  

back of cherries

first one from old doily and feedsacks

Kitty embroidery and feedsacks

backing of kitty from practice quilting

Once I finally have enough inventory, I will figure out the next steps.  I'm focusing on having faith in the path that God is leading me down.  There are many sustainable solutions using the resources we already have available to us. Why do we feel compelled to buy new when something that already exists is heading for a landfill?

I just finished the third kid's jacket/vest that I upcycled, I enjoy stitching on them so much.  Especially during the evening hours sitting with Hubs and unwinding.  I am not someone that can sit still.  My hands just need to be engaged.  I might have been told too many times as a child that "idle hands are the devil's playground".  Who knows. What I do know is that when I am not busy doing something, I feel ill at ease and restless.  I'd rather feed that beast than deal with those feelings.  If you are ever at my house you will find many odds and ends that fill nooks and crannies, so that no matter where I find myself, I am always in a space of being able to be busy. 

Waste Knot, Want Knot will not have a common style to what you will find.  Sort of.  What it will have is an assortment of useful items created from things bound for waste.  This will cater to my need to change things up, I get bored doing the same things over and over, and also allow me to work with whatever I have acquired and have thought of a new use for.  Today might very well involve some old fan blades, the sewing room and I have a few projects for the crafting room as well.  I also have a few things that need to happen with my precious long arm.  See... I am coming up with far more than I have hours of the day to fill.  Such a beautiful gift to have. 

Well, I'd love to chat about my hopes and dreams for where all of this is going, the plan for it's future and all of that good stuff... but the clock is ticking today and I have a few more minor things to take care of before I can get busy.  I plan to take tomorrow off completely and spend it with my dear sweet Hubs and our pups.  We've had several ideas but we really aren't sure which path we will follow.  I mean, for us it is such a special day... 20 years... be still my heart.  

love and prayers...

a new kind of busy...

I've been busy. Physically, mentally, spiritually. I haven't felt drawn to write, I've been processing and working my way through a variety of thoughts and feelings.  All of it has been good.  In fact it's been fairly wonderful.  I just haven't felt like writing. 

I've been busy stepping out of this crazy mixed up controlled world that we've grown used to living in.  I've stepped away from so much that when I do actually walk out into it, I often find myself suffering massive culture shock. 

I've been healing. My body, my mind, my heart and my soul.  Once I stepped back and really started doing the things I've needed to do so much greatness is happening.  My hand is slowly healing, I guess I really needed to stop for a bit to allow it time.  It's been rough.  I need to be busy, it's in my very essence (FYI - the Bible talks about the necessity of valued work and it's importance - guess it's hard wired in me).  I discovered copper and its healing properties. I've learned to rely more on my left hand than my right and most importantly, I've learned when to stop.  That was the hardest lesson. I've always been that push through until you finish what you want to do person, Not listening to the needs of my own body, a bit of pain didn't equal a stopping point. 

Being lost in my Bible, I am learning new things daily.  I am being reminded of things I've always known, but walked away from for too long.  Hubs and I discovered "the Chosen" series and have to confess we might have binged watched it.  I highly recommend it.  Now we find ourselves anxiously waiting for season 4.  If you have a Roku television (who doesn't, I mean can you even buy one without it?) Angel Studios is a free channel.  It's 100% crowdfunded, it's 100% amazing. 

getting ready for mouse races
who wants to come?

I've been creating, in many, many ways.  In fact I have a few things that need finished up this morning.  I am working on a fairly good sized order for a veteran's group and my mission is to finish it today.  Then I won't feel guilty as I get back into quilting like a crazy woman.  

the start of a 15 hour assembly journey

gotta check that packing list...
all there!

Of course she needed a name
"the Beast"

such beautiful stitches...
I am in love

Yup, my longarm finally arrived.  I played with it for several days while waiting for the shirts and vinyl to arrive, it's been lingering quietly while I worked on this order.  I feel I have another two hours and that project is done and off to the owner. 

I cleaned out my sewing studio, I cut all of the fleece I've acquired over the years into blanket and donated it to a guy that does rescue transport for dogs and cats.  I had zero need for it and the babies that he is rescuing will be comforted. The cleaning out, the gifting for such a good cause, lifted my spirit and my heart.  Now I have more space and they have more comfort. 

While cleaning out, I discovered that I have scraps (yep, I'm that crazy person that firmly believes in waste not, want not) going back almost 40 years.  Stuffed in boxes, cupboards and totes.  My mission moving forward, will be to make an assortment of baby quilts using the bits and pieces up.  Will they win any awards, of course not, that isn't the plan.  Instead, I will create them, use them to hone my quilting skills and then donate them to a charity that supports mothers that choose life, regardless of their circumstances. Not sure where that idea came from, but it came rushing in and I can't shake it.  

I am preparing my garden beds and getting ready to start planting.  I am working on cooking healthy, whole foods for my family.  I am spending time with my family and friends.  Life has been filled with joy and laughter. 

someone is cheating on mom...

please can I have another?
look at our miracle boy ❤

the night we shall not discuss...

sentry duty... what are those deer doing?

she needs to stop growing so fast

Again, I've been busy and blessed.  I've had heartwarming conversations with friends that were simply a few exchanged messages.  Yet filled my heart.  I messaged briefly with one of my longest friends in my life the other day.  They'd suffered a loss that was deep, I needed them to know that I felt their pain and was praying for them as they sorted through it.  I was blessed to hear from a young man that used to work for me, we are setting a catch up date over middle eastern food, he is an amazing kid, yep, have to use that word as he is the age of my oldest grands.  I am looking forward to hearing how his life is going and all of the good he is doing. 

Busy... I know busy means a lot of things to a lot of people.  It's so different to me now, so very different than it was a few years back.  

A few years ago, I would have been working long hours, struggling through exhaustion, an annual fundraiser (one that I truthfully never found my way to believe in), struggling for numbers and dollars.  We still donate, minimally, Hubs is still a part of that world.  I pray daily for the people that were part of my world back then, for the hard work and stress they go through at this time of the year. And then I praise God because my life is busier than ever!  Yet it is full of meaningful work, things that fill my heart and allow my spirit to fly.  I am no longer running on a wheel like a hamster, trying desperately to reach something that will forever be out of my reach. 

Happiest of birthdays to my Mom!

Our little birthday girl! 
6 looks good on you

I am blessed.  I have time for loved ones, I have gotten to share in the joy of my grands, celebrate milestone birthdays, laugh, be supportive on a moments notice for those I love and care about all without guilt or stress.  I am so very, very blessed. 

I will never stop working, pretty sure Hubs won't either, it isn't our nature.  Sitting and binge watching shows had us both full of energy with a need to "do", but our souls and spirit needed tending as well. 

their newest way to wrestle... 20 minutes worth
all on their backs... hysterical!

she is so beautiful...
although hardly ever still

His centerfold pose

I feel strongly that the chaos and insanity swirling around us is more of a call to each of us to step back, reconnect in our hearts and then seriously reevaluate the path forward. I don't know how frequently I will feel drawn to write.  Again... I have been busy.  When I feel it, I will be here, when I don't... well... 

The plants need their weekly drink and as the puppies have settled down for their morning naps, I need to get busy with finishing that order.  I really, really want to quilt...