that was shocking...

Good morning... wait is it morning?  That was sure the shortest night ever.  Or at least it felt like it, nope, it was really just a short night. I had some canning to finish before I could go to bed and then Belle decided that mommy should wake up when Daddy does.  There is something very jarring about a 40+ pound puppy deciding to wake you up by jumping repeatedly on you with her favorite toy in her mouth.  She just wants her family all together all the time if she is awake. 

Oh well, I wouldn't trade those puppy pounces for the world, but it is going to make for a really long day. 

So, yesterday I wrote about gardens and how they could make such a difference for folks of all means. Yesterday I ran out of the small jelly jars and still have a lot of jelly to get made, I seriously picked a lot of berries and still have a lot of oranges to process that were gifted to me. Hubs and I were calling everywhere to find jars.  Even ordered them from one store, only to be notified that they didn't really have them.  After calling around I found some at Target, only 3 boxes, but it should be enough to get those berries put up.  I also forgot to order wet puppy food, no worries, according to the website, they had plenty in stock at the same store, and for less than my normal purchase from Chewy.  

No problem right?  I also had a short list of items I needed for another recipe that I wanted to make.  Hubs loves curry and I decided I wanted to make a batch.  Nothing fancy, just a few veggies and the curry paste. I figured we could pull off some quick one stop shopping and be done with it. 

Again, no problem right?  Now mind you I have been hearing about some of the shortages we can expect to find, but nothing really prepared me for what we saw.  I felt a bit bad buying the three boxes of jars, they were all they had left.  I do not want to waste my berries, so... I'm sorry to anyone out there looking. But I was stunned by what I saw in every place we looked.  Aisle upon aisle were barren.  Not just low, I mean barren.  And no this store is not undergoing a renovation, it just had one not too long ago. This was all they had. 

These pictures are of the pet food aisles.  I also literally bought all 13 cans of puppy chow.  Again, I felt bad, but considering I couldn't buy it anywhere else and my puppies go through two cans a day along with their dry food... with the holiday, I needed enough to get us through Tuesday.  Or risk not having any.  Buying puppy food wet or dry in this city is a nightmare.  Chewy is doing a bang up business and maybe that is the plan.  But with diesel as expensive as it is and the other issues going on associated with diesel, how soon before that isn't a viable plan?

I would think that they simply hadn't stocked recently, but truthfully, it is one of the few places that carries the mini-milk bones that my babies go nuts over and each time we've been lately there is less and less in these aisles.  So much of it is a random bag or box, and then nothing. 

As we headed over to look for the tomatoes - which I didn't buy because no, I am not paying $6 for two small tomatoes - what caught my eye was the milk coolers directly behind. 

Those cases were simply empty.  There was a small cooler with a bit more not far away, but literally that was it. 

I'd also heard that there is a shortage on women's sanitary products.  I don't tend to look in those aisle any longer, but as we passed them and the paper products I was stunned. 

This is a store in a fairly heavily populated area.  Not too long ago the shelves were packed to the point that stuff would fall off if someone walked to closely. Oh yeah, not the place to get cold medicines if you find yourself feeling ill for an extended period of time either. 

We couldn't help but notice that the toothpaste was literally one box deep on the displays and many other aisles looked like the stores did way back at the beginning of March of 2020.  It's hard to believe it's been over two years of chaos and it is only getting worse.  

I remember going to a store back in March of 2020 and only finding a single case of spaghetti sauce in an aisle, the woman stocking was staring in absolute shock as a woman and her kids asked if they could open it and take one bottle.  I will forever remember the awe in her voice as she said, you aren't going to take the whole thing like everyone else?  And the woman's sweet reply that there wouldn't be some left for others if she did. 

I will tell you if you need toilet paper or paper towels, those aisle's are incredibly over stocked.  My guess is that folks are still using all the stuff they horded way back when.  But that is definitely the place to go if that is what you are in search of. 

I am finding more and more stores are looking the same.  The prices are going way up and the shelves are empty more and more.  I no longer go to our Schnucks, they are far more interested in masking people up than they are in filling their shelves.  But even the Dierbergs has been getting leaner and leaner.  And there are items they keep telling me they can't get in, even though they order it. 

I am not picking on these shops.  What I am trying to point out, is that they keep telling us that shortages and food insecurity is going to be a big thing.  Yet another official stated yesterday that dramatic food shortages are going to occur soon.  That people are going to go hungry.  Another food processing plant in Kentucky this time, just announced it could not afford to keep it's doors open and unless they could find a buyer for their plant they are closing at the end of August. 

We are far too spoiled, too many people do not know how to preserve their food.  They don't grow it, or know where to purchase it if it isn't the corner grocery store.  There are simply too many things that are not adding up.  And shamefully the media that should be giving you the updates are stuck in loops of the stuff they want to beat into your brains.  They are not in the business of giving you information that you need.  They are nothing but propaganda on instant replay. 

I know that we do not need all of the "stuff" these mega stores have in them.  But they have forced the small mom and pops out of business.  If they aren't providing the basics... then what? It seems if you are decorating your home, you are still in luck.  If you are looking to get all of the non-essentials, they have you covered and then some.  But if it is stuff that is required for living, that appears to be in shorter supply. 

I know I'm on a soapbox... but it's my blog and if I feel I need to share what I am seeing and learning about... that is my prerogative.  Maybe where you are living you aren't seeing or feeling it.  Here in the Lou, it's starting to get super noticeable. Not too long around everyone was losing their minds because they couldn't find canned biscuits, FYI those are back in stock, are they not noticing the rest of it?  Can they not see what is right in front of their eyes? If you disagree, that is your prerogative and I will respect it. 

It's time for me to stop venting and sharing.  I have a lot of things on my to do list.  A lot of things that are important.  Especially in the face of what I witnessed yesterday, if I had any doubts in my mind of the state of things, a quick trip out reaffirmed my concerns. 

have a great one... love and peace...

just do it...

It's been a few moments.  I had to step away, retreat into the silence and think.  I needed to process all the new information and be okay with the steps forward.  I've been dealing with some extreme pain in my knees, particularly the left for years.  It has gotten progressively worse, to the point of not being able to stand for long, walking being such a painful experience that I haven't even tried.  

I've now been under the care of three different orthopedists.  The first one told me years ago I might be able to treat it with a partial replacement. The stubbornness inside of me refused to be okay with it. We went very conservative in the treatment and it seemed to work for a year or so. At 18 months in, I had to have another injections but that held for quite some time.  I felt I was winning the battle. 

I'd taken up walking again.  Knowing that there was no way I would ever run - as if! And was managing a minimum of 5 - 10 miles a day.  I was in heaven.  It was my peaceful time, my time to drift off into my own thoughts. Thanksgiving of 2019, pretty much was the major turning point.  Since my questionable decision - which I loved doing by the way - to participate in a Turkey Trot in Little Rock, I have battled increasing pain and the inability to participate in things that bring me joy. 

I've consistently seen my previous doctor, and done everything he's asked, only to have the knee feel worse than before.  Hubs has been harassing me (yes I said it) to finally quit being stubborn and go see his doc.  The one that basically saved his life. 

Before I went I knew what he was going to say.  I had already been told it.  On a very deep level I was hoping that seeing a world renown doc would change it.  That he would magically find something the rest missed. 

Nope.  

The answer I was hoping for was not going to happen.  Instead, I was asked when I had broken my left leg at the knee area (again - for the third time) - I have never broken my leg.  I am a pure klutz and fall often.  I am probably the most unsure-footed creature the good Lord put on this planet.  But I have never broken my leg. Toes, wrist, fingers, nose... of course who hasn't.  But a limb, nope I would seriously remember that. 

Anyhow, I've had to come to terms that the only hope to make the pain that stops me from doing things 90% of the time stop, is to have a total knee replacement.  It's now too far gone to do a partial. 

Oh, trust me, I will probably be trying to talk myself out of it for the next six weeks, yikes closer to five weeks.  I will do everything to convince myself that following all the directions I have been given and taking the vitamins etc will somehow miraculously heal it. 

Expect to hear me say that a few dozen times at least. 

It's been a week, relatively pain-free. I keep trying to convince myself that it will last, I have been resting, I have been avoiding anything that causes pain.  I have been doing everything I can think of.  But Doc is right and so is Hubs (yes I said that also) if I don't do this, I can relegate myself to living a part of my life, to always being on the sideline and to having the bones wear down to the point that even the surgery will have limited ability to offer relief. 

I don't want to do this.  I am not looking forward to it at all.  But... I simply don't want to continue living less than.  

I have huge plans, and I need to be pain-free for those to happen.  Or at least pain minimized.  I need to be flexible, able to stand, have the ability to bend my legs without extreme pain.  I need to be able to climb stairs. Right now, none of this is really a thing for me. 

Unless something throws a monkey wrench into my world, my birthday present to myself isn't going to be my longarm (oh I am still getting it but it will be later in the year).  It's going to be a brand new knee.  This year has been a challenge for me.  It has forced me to deal with many things that I am really not happy nor comfortable with. It has stretched my heart, my mind, my change capacity and it has forced me to face a lot of fears. 

I know that I will be stronger for it, but I am still going to fight against the inevitable. 

I spent the past few days in absolute anger and denial.  Pouting is probably a good word for it. Hubs and I even ran away. A quick trip south to enjoy the part of my visit I missed last week. 

Although I also bought all the vitamins Doc wants me taking to insure I am strong and healthy going into surgery.  I've started eating like he wants me to eat and I have mentally been preparing myself.  

In fact the quirky side of me is already planning my tattoo for once it heals.  

The realistic side of me is starting to prioritize my sewing projects and chores into silo's.  Things that require full mobility, things that can be modified and things that I can do easily while not so mobile. I am learning everything I can learn so that I will have the smoothest possible healing and return to function. 

Sweet Hubs even said he will build me a small table so I can continue to sew, he's precious!  I don't intend to be down that long.  Just saying!

I am not sure how much I will be writing this coming month.  I have so much I need to focus on.  So much that needs my attention.  Things that have to be organized and lined up for the month following the replacement.  And I need to find a weekend to do at least one more float trip before I am done for the season.  

I think I am mentally okay, we'll see.  Now to get as physically okay as possible.  I have an exercise that I now have to do 15 minutes an hour.  Do you realize how fast time flies when you have to do 15 minutes of an exercise every hour?  It's insane. 

Time to get busy...