a quilt...

I decided I should sit down in a big comfy chair for a bit and stretch my fingers out before I started looking like the hunchback of Notre-Dame complete with claws for hands.  I've been prepping a duffel-bag full of uniforms to start the quilt. Daily uniforms, dress uniforms, removing the bits and pieces that will create a memory of a time served.  Some of that stuff was very difficult to cut through and the scissors I am using are sharp enough to slice your fingers by sliding across an unattended blade.  

I'm down to one pair of pants.  They are the bright blue of the dress uniform.  As I have been cutting and salvaging the fabric, I have been plotting and planning.  Trying to decide the best places and orders to use each color.  I will admit, this bright blue with it's very recognizable red stripe has me a bit stumped. I thought I had it figured out, all planned and ready to use. Until I realized there was only one pair and the stripe is only on the outside.  They would have needed 6ft long legs for my plan to work.  So I am back at mentally planning it out.  I will figure it out.  The stripe might end up in the piano key border that my brain keeps insisting needs to frame the whole quilt. Who knows. 

I already know the quilt will have the middle panel, bordered by a modified trip around the world, I will create some star blocks that will include his patches and emblems.  I am a bit ignorant of the proper terminology with Marine ranks and insignia, but I am sure I can do it justice. I am not sure how I am going to include the stars, I have several different ideas and I guess it will depend on what it looks like when I get to that point in the quilt.  I have most of it worked out in my brain.  Almost time to commit!

For a small moment in time.  I am sipping my ice tea, enjoying the changing colors outside the window and timing my sweet pups time out in the sunshine.  It's been so mild that they have gotten quite spoiled with lots of outside time, today is edging back into the 80's... which means less outside time than they like.  Again, Belle is my smart girl, she will bring herself inside. Beau... That boy loves the heat (not good with seizures) and has to be almost dragged into the house. 

last night at 9 pm

My plan is to have the piecing of the quilt done by Friday.  Hubs has a few appointments this week (getting ready for surgery) so those should give me the break that my body will be craving from cutting, ironing, cutting, stitching, measuring and sewing some more. I am so excited to see how this turns out.  I am feeling very blessed to have been selected to create it.  And honestly, once I have committed with the first snip of the scissors I am a bit obsessive.  If everything goes as planned, it will be on the longarm this weekend. 

I'm really doing terrible sitting here decompressing.  I have thoughts bouncing in and out, trying desperately to write them down before they shift away into something else.  My brain is truly at the dining room table, my thoughts are deeply wrapped up with this quilt. Maybe I'll be more successful writing tomorrow... 

today at 1 pm

I'm heading back to the piles of threads and fabrics... 

snooze day...

Nice toasty fire, semi-warm coffee... Finally a moment to sit down and decompress this morning.  Hubs had to be to work super early, something about a basketball hoop, so I'm spending a few moments between meds just relaxing. 

I just loaded up the dehydrator with duck feet, oh that smell is so pleasant... UCK!  But my pups love them and it is a whole lot more reasonable than buying them at the pet store. I need to head up to the market in the next few days to get the freeze dryer loaded up with some more of the organ meats that they love.  They are both doing so much better since we've eliminated things like milk bones and so many of the chemicals from their diets. I pray daily that my Beau will never have another seizure and do everything I can to keep both of them healthy and thriving. 

That's the reason today will not involve a walk.  Belle was sort of lame yesterday afternoon.  She is so hyper and over the top, that she either pulled something or strained it bouncing in the snow.  Beau loves the snow, but wasn't about snow mountain climbing yesterday.  Belle, well she's certain she is part mountain goat. So today we rest, well at least they do. 

I started on my mystery quilts and now I am hyper focused on all the projects I want to accomplish this year.  So much so that I didn't sleep well last night.  Woke up a couple of times wanting to sneak into the studio and work.  The grown up part of me said don't you dare wake your husband and the pups.  I hate being a grown up sometimes. I fitfully went back to sleep a few times, before giving up at 4:00 am.  I decided if I couldn't sew I would do my other chores so that I could sew as soon as 8:00 am meds were given.

4 little blocks... only 11 more months 
of hints to go...

It's unbelievable how unsteady your hands can get when you haven't sewn for a couple of months.  Darn thumb.  I ended up nicking my hand yesterday with the rotary cutter.  Thankfully it wasn't bad, it was simply shocking.  I don't know that I have ever done that in decades of using one. Then I ended up cutting too many of some squares and not enough of others.  It was like my head wasn't even remotely in the game.  

By the time I had cut, sewn and ironed all the pieces for the black and white one, I felt I was really in my groove.  Only to realize that I had spent hours simply making 4 small blocks for one quilt and putting all the bits together to assemble 4 blocks for the other one.  Yep, it sure didn't feel productive.  

Didn't help that I found myself day dreaming about all the other quilts I want to make this year.  Or should I say finish.  Although I know that I will end up making a few from the start.  I have so many that never got finished when I was part of the corporate rat race.  I really want to finish those this year. My motto this year is totally going to be "done is better than perfect".  I want to finish them all!  Start next year with a clean slate. Do I think I will?  Who knows it's been on my list to do that for several years now.  Then my quilting ADHD kicks in, I start seeing patterns that I can't wait to make, or participate in a shop hop and acquire fabrics that I don't need but fall in love with just the same.  It's a vicious cycle. 

Well, coffee is ice cold and the fire is down to one last log that's almost gone.  I paused to chat with my sister.  Let me tell you, those of us here in the middle mid-west with our mini-mountains of snow have nothing to complain about.  Our gas stations aren't running out of gas, our banks aren't closed and the majority of our roads are passable.  Some might not be the easiest.  But at least we have snow shovels, plows, ice melt and we are all semi used to this white fluff.  I can't even fathom living in the southern states and dealing with this. 

I'm guessing that my girl definitely needs to rest today, as she isn't even bugging me about the "w... a... l... k", neither of them are.  They are both snoring away.  Good.  I hate when they give me that disapproving disappointed look that they are both the masters of. 

Meds have been given, Pups are sleeping, coffee is ready to be dumped... I'd say it's time to go and get those blocks out of my mind and move on to the next one. I have big plans... but can I follow through?

Stay safe and warm. 

much love, 

b

a new day...

The sunshine rising behind me this morning is a complete lie.  It leads one to believe it is warm and welcoming outside, 16° is hardly warm or welcoming.  I guess we got spoiled by the high sixties that we've been enjoying.  I know I did.  

I developed the habit of taking the pups for a long stroll in the parks, it was inviting.  Now they've developed the habit of taking long strolls and their fur coats keep them nice and comfy, so mom is definitely going to be bundling up.  Especially as the later half of this week promises either rain, snow or ice.  I definitely love walking in the snow, but the other two... well not a fan favorite. 

I can hardly believe how productive the past week has been.  I'm sure some of it was the mental lifting I experienced.  Some was losing the splint on my poor thumb - incredible how freeing that little event was.  And the rest was just a strong desire to become involved in my day to day life again. Waiting for that healing was exhausting and the extra steps to work around it was even worse.  

Today, is going to be another day to catch up on all of the things that have been lingering. Waiting patiently for my attention.  

My broken thumb meant I wasn't able to do the Bonnie Hunter mystery quilt in real time.  That doesn't mean I am not going to do it, just that it isn't going to be "live".  I also signed up for two other mystery quilts.  Thankfully they started this month, so I can get my fabrics picked and my first month of sewing completed before next months clue.  They are both monthly, not weekly.   Sweet Hubs bought me a gift card to my favorite local quilt shop for Christmas, so after I pick from my fabric stash, I can round out the fabrics both quilts at Your Quilt Shop .  I mean a girl needs some kind of reason to go buy fabric that she probably doesn't really need, right??

my original fabric choices for BH

I am also planning to complete all my semi-finished quilts (there are far more than I want to admit) this year.  Done is so much better than perfect and there are some that have been languishing for decades.  I mean my girl is 40, I started one when she was a baby.  Several others were started even further back by my great grandmother.  I definitely do not want to be the third generation that failed to finish them. 

I have 6 batches of soap curing, the cold is keeping them from being ready to unmold just yet.  All together over 3 days, there were a total of 11 body soaps and 1 batch of dish soap made, I felt so productive getting them finished. I put if off for almost a year.  Yet as I was swirling oils and lye, matching mica's and essential oils I felt like a crazy mad scientist - I was in heaven.  Funny how things work out. 

moisturizing avacado bars

calendula cleansing bars

raw shea butter

Lavender and Charcoal

Kokum butter

I'm also going to try my hand at making some lip balms this week. They've been on my list forever, but as usual something else captures my attention and I end up never getting it done.  Ironically, they don't take very long at all to make - same as soap.  I am tired of all the chemicals in my life, and one of my missions this year is to eliminate as many as possible.  Besides, it's simply another skill to add to my life's tool box.  

It definitely feels incredible to feel like me again. I was getting a bit fussy.  Again, some was the stupid thumb issue, but some was finding myself in a bubble of discontent that I hadn't acknowledged.  Sipping my coffee, sitting in the sunshine (false warmth that it is) and just doing life on my terms I can feel my energy and desire to do and be returning.  

play time

I'm still in awe at the effect a small amount of negativity sprinkled on the day can affect everything. It starts to build into an ominous cloud that seems intent on overshadowing everything.  You know it's coming, you start to brace yourself, you start to plan how you will combat it. 

unexpected on Saturday...

Guard yourselves.  Evaluate the energy in your bubble.  Protect your blessings and joy.  

much love, 

b

beginning new journeys?

Last week record breaking heat, this morning possible snow?  Mother nature is definitely having some hormonal shifts. I doubt we will get snow, but at this point nothing surprises me.  I feel like the entire world is under going some kind of change.  At least I don't feel anxious about it any longer. 

Yesterday, as I was doing my odds and ends type chores and settling back into my routine while Hubs was at work, I spent a great deal of time in the silence.  Just thinking. I've just become aware of the terms cottage core and granny core in the past few months.  I am not really up to date on many things, but these two sort of humored me. A lot! 

I guess I have been on the "cutting edge" for a really long time and simply didn't know it.  My social media is filled with people wanting to hone their granny skills.  Wanting to remember and relearn the things that have intentionally been forgotten.  I always just assumed I was born in the wrong era or that I am simply just plain strange.  I have fought hard my whole life to keep the skills that others are chasing.  Who knew?  I mean does that mean my eccentricities are back in style? Does it mean that polyester and leisure suits aren't far behind?  Goodness I hope not!  I am praying that the desire to return to reality is just that a return.  

I am finding it a touch easier to access so many of the things that I never left.  

Modest clothing, and cotton, linen and wool fabrics are just a start.  I mean they are still crazy cost prohibitive, but lets be real do we really want or need disposable fast fashion and all the stuff that fills our closets and homes?  I have clothing I bought when my son was born.  He will soon be 35, I still wear my favorite sweater a couple times a month.  When I bought that beautiful cotton sweater I almost died at the price, I still remember the slight knot in my throat as I paid $35 dollars for it.  Can you imagine the cost today?  Yet here I am still wearing it, it's been mended a few times, I've had to sharpening my skill sets to learn how to mend knitwear so that it is invisible (mostly - I wasn't that good at it in the early days), but I think $1 a year is a fair investment at this point in time. 

Meet Gertrude my 1950 301a

I smile at the questions posed on many of the sewing groups I follow.  People longing to know the best machine they can buy for the craft that they are wanting to pursue.  I feel a profound sadness, in that I used to be one of the people longing for all the technology and doodads on my machines. Feeling it would somehow make the things I created better, fancier.  It didn't.  The machines I used the most are older than my sweet Hubs, and he is almost 74.  I create quilts, home goods, doll clothing, bedding, bags, etc on machines that I can personally disassemble, repair, and rebuild.  There are no fancy stitches, they are not computerized.  They stitch.  Oh I still have my fancy machine - although it is now almost 25 years old, it's tucked away under my sewing table, I rarely pull it out anymore.  In fact, I am probably only holding on to it for nostalgia's sake, I saved a long while to purchase that machine for myself and it was the fanciest and best I had ever owned.  

My sweet 221 also 1950 - meet Mildred

I now own a total of 19 machines and only two of them are under 50 years old.  Crazy isn't it.  If you are looking to hone your granny core or cottage core skill sets, I strongly recommend buying one of the classics.  The ones that have stood the test of time and still make a strong beautiful stitch.  If you need help finding one or fixing it, let me know.  I love to share that kind of knowledge.  I do believe that I will start getting a few of them ready for new homes this year.  Trial and error has taught me which ones I am extremely partial to and which ones I feel comfortable loving and passing off to someone else to cherish.  I am also considering offering sewing classes on my beautiful classic collection.  

one I may part with after I service it

Who knew so many people were missing out on the joy of creating the items for their homes.  Removing home ec (which by the way I despised) was a huge disservice to our younger generations.  The inability to create for, provide for, and sustain your own home and family has created a void.  So many people have lost their independence in a basic way, they are easier to control, manipulate and in my opinion steal from.  

The things we spend our hard earned dollars on are not often in our best interests. They are in the best interests of the people benefitting off of our labor and our dollars. But I digress. 

I am loving watching the return to actual cooking.  There was a time that going out to dinner was a treat.  Something that felt like a reward, a pure joy.  Now it is all bland, finding amazing doesn't happen often and then dealing with the after effects of a meal that you have no idea what was actually in it... mind blowing. 

Hubs and I spent a good part of last year educating ourselves on what is actually in our food.  We both were starting to have some health problems that we wanted to nip in the bud, so to speak.  It takes us hours to grocery shop now, as we read all of the labels, searching for real food.   Each time I am thankful that I have learned how to grow and preserve our own food.  

I am thankful that I am at home and able to make a home for us.  I found a recipe that I wanted to try yesterday, it was a Curry Lentil Stew.  Hubs was definitely not sure about it.  Struggled to wrap his head around those flavors together.  I made it any how.  I mean worse case scenario was we went to the cantry and picked a different meal.  It was wonderful.  I even decided to try my hand at a high protein naan to dip. I felt my naan needed a bit more work, but Hubs felt it was delicious.  Either he was telling a tale to boost my spirits or I am being a bit too judgmental in my expectations. I feel the truth is somewhere in the middle. 

The entire meal was made from whole, natural ingredients.  There were no chemicals, no words that you need a dictionary to look them up.  Just food.  The way it was always intended to be. The thing is these things take time and energy.  Unfortunately, for most of us, when working a 40+ hour work week, that precious commodity doesn't exist. 

I don't need to learn a great many of the skills that I see all these different groups setting intentions to learn this year.  I have spent a lifetime holding on to the threads and honing my skills.  But there are many things that others have perfected that I am still pulling back on.  That I have tried, failed and moved on from.  Some of that failure was linked to the season of my life that I was in, working to much to focus, struggling to keep all the different balls in my world up in the air.  In this season, I am finding myself willing to try again. 

In my past I used to make a lot of my clothing, heck I have sewn wedding dresses, bridesmaids dress and even a flamenco gown.  I do have the basic skill set and knowledge.  It just became easier to lean into fast fashion.  Yup, guilty as charged. But in my desire to eliminate man made plastic based fabrics from my life, I am on the verge of starting to sew clothing again. To help stop the waste that we have contributed to.  

And sour dough will likely be a thing this year, as I work to eliminate the unhealthy big AG stuff they are trying to pass off as food. I usually end up starving the poor thing.  I am also going to work on expanding my knowledge of food preservation to include fermentation.  As I am relearning is vital importance to our gut health.   And eventually, I will start grinding my own grains, because the stuff they are doing to our flour is obscene. 

I was a trail blazer without ever realizing it.  I wasn't odd or trapped in the wrong era.  I was always supposed to remember and strive to continue so that I could help share it with others.  And here's the thing, I have always loved sharing my knowledge and helping others develop the skills to sustain them.  There was simply a time when few were interested. 

They are simply not impressed at all

Please to tell me... are you expanding any of those skill sets that have been gathering dust on the shelves of your mind?  Anyone a master carver?  Basket weaver?  Fabric weaver?  We might need to collaborate.  I long to learn new skills, I also long to share the ones I have.  

Well... almost med time for Beau, which means it is also time for me to start my day, so much I want to do and accomplish... 

much love, 

b

changes coming...

The sun hasn't quite cleared the trees here in the treetop garden.  I've been out off and on for hours.  It's beautiful as the temperatures start to drop, 52° is the perfect morning temperature for hot coffee and light sweatshirt and the sunrise. 

The pups and I have been enjoying the morning.  We had a buck come out of the trees to enjoy munching on some flowers and greenery, he brought two young does with him.  Watching them sit and enjoy the morning was so precious.  The birdbath was empty as I hadn't watered yet, so needless to say they didn't get the refreshing beverage they were hoping for.  I feel like a bit of failure, although I did not realize they were partaking of the water in the birdbath - heck I didn't know any creature paid attention to it.  It was here when we moved in and we just left it. It fills with the rain or when we water, but it's outside the fence line and we pretty much ignore it also. 

The sudden downturn in temperatures has caused both the sassafras and mulberry trees to start turning on their autumn colors. The bright red and the golden yellow are always the first sign of fall.  

I'm taking some time to enjoy the beauty, semi-planning my day and trying to not get dive bombed by our rambunctious hummingbird friends. The ruby-throated hummingbirds are back in town, which means they will all be leaving in a few weeks. I have definitely enjoyed my time with all of them this summer. 

Hubs isn't home today, so it's just me and the pups.  Truthfully, I don't engage much in keeping track of time these days, a Saturday could feel like a Wednesday for all I know.  And honestly I'm really okay with that. Telling time is truly a construct of man and the longer I don't follow along, the more useless it feels. 

I have a list of things I would like to do, I just don't know where to start.  I will probably load the freeze dryer with some of my precious herbs, I always wait too long to preserve them and then mourn the fact of would've/could've/didn't. The basil, rosemary and thyme are full and bushy, and with freeze drying it would be the same as using them fresh all winter.  I could also snip a branch or two of the lemon verbana and holy basil to use in teas.  

As I look around the garden I am realizing that I have quite a few jalapeno's, and we are a bit low on the pineapple cowboy candy.  Might pick up a pineapple and get some of that canned up.  The cooling temps are causing the tomatoes to finally ripen, the Marconi peppers are growing and getting big, and even the okra has decided it is happier with the mild temps.  

Somewhere on the list is a desire to try my hand at a non-toxic bug spray.  My beautiful citronella plants have gone crazy this year.  As I was researching it yesterday, I was stunned to find out you can also use it in baking and other cooking recipes.  I have to admit, I learned something new.

I also need to decide if I am going to run up to the store and get more chicken paws to dehydrate for the pups.  The collagen is so good for them, and they absolutely love them. Belle, Beau and Piper go nuts when that jar gets opened. 

Are they done yet Mom?  I can smell them

I'm finding it less and less enjoyable to go out and about, people seem to be changing. Compassion and empathy seem to be falling away. Or maybe it is me? It's not so bad when I go out with Hubs. I just don't feel good when I go out alone, it's so different. 

She has greater patience than brother...

I've also been doing more research on using my freeze dryer to further limit the stuff we buy premade and prepackaged.  I don't want chemicals in my food, I want real food.  I have a huge bag of beef bones that I picked up at the Pan-Asian Market.  I will probably throw those in the oven and roast them, and then make a big pot of beef broth.  After spending some time learning, I now know how to freeze dry that and then grind it into bullion.  

I mean soup season has arrived, I also have a new multi-grain bread recipe that I want to try out. I made a chicken mulligatawny soup for the first time the other day.  Hubs and I had been out for lunch and the restaurant had it on the menu, you know we had to try it, as neither of us had ever heard of it.  One thing led to another, and we will definitely be making it a staple of the soup rotation.  

I will probably spend a fair amount of the day up in my sewing studio, although I am tempted to haul it all out here in the sunshine.  I only have 3 more out of state quilts to piece before I start quilting all of them.  The next clue of my mystery quilt comes out tomorrow, so I need to get with it.  Remember I am easily distracted. 

I definitely don't understand anyone being bored.  Connecting back to the earth has been so healing for me. It fills my heart and spirit in ways I can't describe. Connecting back to life the way I feel it should be has been even more healing. Walking in the gardens, picking the beautiful zinnias that are starting to fade, enjoying watching the pups playing with the neighbor's pup through the fence.  Simply soaking up life. 

Who knows, I might just grab a book and sit out here in the sunshine and cool breeze all day, or my spinning wheel... or... yeah the list is fairly endless. For now, I'm going to enjoy my coffee, and watch my pups play.  

Being grateful for it all...

much love, b

seclusion...

It's just a touch past 8 am... I already feel like I've put in a full day's work.  This heatwave (better known as summer in the mid-west) is in full force.  The humidity is unreal, making it seem far hotter than it really is.  I get up super early all the time, it's who I am.  During the season of ick, better known as summer around these parts it is a pure blessing.  I accomplish all of my outside tasks in the early morning coolness as the sun just starts to lighten the skies.

I have one set of garden beds that are still drinking in the semi-cool water, I'm giving that one a few more minutes than the rest.  My poor hydrangeas are seriously protesting this season, longing for the cool, wetness of spring time.  They are being complete drama queens, laying down each afternoon in complete surrender, offering up their tender leaves to the heat of the afternoon.  Pleading for an extra pitcher of water to quench their dire thirst.  Only to be fresh and beautiful in the morning light. 

Will the pretty blue make it... not this year.

Yesterday was spent in the kitchen, we'd picked up 20 lbs of Georgia peaches and 10 lbs of Washington cherries over the weekend and I needed to process them all. I still have about 5 lbs of peaches to go, but they are destined for a few cobblers and any that are left will be canned or freeze dried to savor later in the year when they are not readily available, we'll be able to open and enjoy a taste of summer.  

I've been experimenting with my freeze dryer, having moved on from making candies for the kiddo's.  Now its fruits and veggies.  I've fallen in love with freeze dried fruits, the intensity of them is unreal.  There is a batch of peaches in there right now, and cherries are on trays in the freezers waiting their turn.  If you have never tried freeze dried cherries, I highly recommend them! I started on the fruit journey a few weeks ago, when my dear friend and I crazily decided to go blueberry picking.  Over 11 pounds of fresh blueberries later, I definitely had to do something before they went bad.  Next I'm hoping to try some veggies, I've heard they are the most delicious chips when done correctly.  True veggie chips... 

This season has brought me another precious surprise, my Rose of Sharon is finally in full bloom again.  As I stood there in the quiet watering it this morning, I was remembering the first time I knew what it's name was and how much I treasure it.  My oldest and closest friend was here for my 50th birthday, and as we stood outside she told me what it was.  The next summer my grandson damaged all of them while trying to remove the honeysuckle that was taking over everything on the hillside.  I feared they would never return.

For years I've had a random bloom here, a random one there, but never a full covering of the beautiful flowers.  This year is different.  This year is brilliant. I just wish I could photograph it for you to enjoy, sadly, there are so many trees behind it that it fades into the background. I would love to have even more of them, anyone ever successfully grown one from seed?

skeeter plant anyone?

chocolate cherry tomatoes
maybe by July 4 

the holy basil is incredible this year
may be able to harvest for teas

I've really been wrapped up in my garden, yard and house this year.  I've felt a strong need to simply be.  I'm not engaging in much.  I'll glance at the news and socials off and on, but mostly I'm not.  I feel like so much is playing out all around us and I don't want to participate. 

Maybe that is selfish, I'm not sure.  Maybe it is more a case of self-preservation. I'm tried of the ugly, the insanity, everywhere.  I hardly go out and about because it is like a blanket over humanity.  I'm tired. 

I took the youngest grand to the pool the other day. I walked in circles in the lazy river, following her ever bobbing head as she stayed just ahead of me, I was subjected to so much taking place all around me. I was stunned.  The conversations, loud and obnoxious were distasteful.  The ugly was strong.  

I watched so many parents/grand parents... who knows maybe babysitters or siblings, show up with kiddo's not much older than our dragon.  They would put their stuff on a chair, tell the kids to go play and sit down with their phones, never once reengaging with their children.  I watched kids longing for attention, doing everything they could to get some.  It was heart breaking. Because when the cute stuff didn't work, they settled for bad and mean, anything to get the person ignoring them to have to engage. 

Waiting in line for her snack, we were forced to listen to a high school boy, intent on "impressing" the bikini clad girl.  The profanity in the midst of all the kids was so intense, he loudly vocalized thoughts on maintaining a job - disheartening, what girls wanted in a guy (he has a lot to learn I'm afraid), how school was a waste of time (hmmmm), and on and on, it was a long wait in the direct sun.  It was so bad that dragon asked to go play in the water nearby and she would come back when I got closer.  

There is just so much that is overwhelming.  I understand that things change, that each generation has to find their own rhythm and make their own rules, but dang... Young man, just showing up and doing as little as possible, is probably not going to move you forward to self sufficiency, especially since you feel that an employer cannot fire you as long as you are simply there.  

I often tell Hubs that it is our generations fault.  He's a boomer, I'm the first of Gen X.  We were the ones with the super strict parents, with good reason, but who can see that as a kid?  We were the original latch key kids, the ones that made our own way, as long as we were home when Dad whistled and those street lights came on. We rebelled, we didn't want that for our kids.  Hmmmm... wondering now if a bit of restraint in that area would have been good.  

a little nap on the ride home...

It all moves in cycles, the weather, growth of people, decline of people, money, economies, governments, education, the list is quite endless.  We are going through a very interesting time.  I'm sure we survive it, I'm sure we find commonalities and the like.  I guess I am becoming an old woman (yikes, I actually had the young kid at the pool tell me I was a senior the other day, I am still over a month from 60 thank you very much). 

For now, I feel strangely drawn to the peace I find in my own little spot in the world. Time with Hubs, chattering about hopes, dreams and plans. Puttering in the gardens, saving seeds for the next season.  Spending hours working on quilts and other art projects, feathering my nest with beauty. Spending time in person or on the phone with dear friends.  My life is full.  I don't need the chaos of the external world.

Before the summer is over, I hope to make a few barn quilts, I want to hang them on my backyard gates.  Slowly but surely we are creating a peaceful, sanctuary/outside living room on the lower patio.  Some of the work will wait until it cools in early fall.  

Now that the grass and flowers are growing where the Bradford pear tree used to stand, it's so enjoyable to sit down there. Once the temperatures chill off a bit, we will build a lattice wall to grow some clematis on. The one thing we've noticed is that in removing the trees we have forsaken a great deal of privacy.  A living wall will be beautiful. I may even paint a few smaller barn quilts to hang on the concrete walls, although I would truly love to paint the walls, the concrete is simply ugly. 

Ahhh... plans. 

Since Hubs is not home for lunch today, I'm going to plant up the planter he just got me and head up to the sewing room for a few hours.  I have a lot I want to accomplish and this brutal heat is definitely leading me inside to hide. 

I hope you are finding the pure beauty in your lives....

love and prayers, b

how have you been?

This morning as I was doing my chores, I felt a strong urge to write.  Goodness, it's been a long while. Almost 4 years ago my life took a dramatic turn, a shift. Unplanned, unexpected and suddenly.  One of the greatest gifts I have been given in life.  I find those that fall in that category are usually the best.  A sudden ending, when you aren't brave enough to admit something is not serving you or your life.  When you can add up all the things it's cost you, but you don't have the courage to walk in another direction.  When God steps in and gives you the push you desperately needed, but didn't realize it. 

Endings are nothing more than a chance at a better beginning.  We just often find ourselves blinded in the moment.  Not realizing that the door that slammed shut was because it wasn't serving you. It might even have been causing you harm that you couldn't see in the moment. 

My days have fallen into a beautiful routine.  I'm no longer trying to be a wife, mother, grand mother and homemaker while still being stretched to my absolute limits in a thankless world. It's an incredible feeling to walk in the path you are meant to walk. 

I don't write much anymore.  Not because I don't want to, but because the world has become increasingly more unstable and angry.  Something I really no longer have the need or desire to participate in.  If I do write it is strictly for me, and that alone is very rare.  Although I do miss it.

Today the urge was too great, with a cup of hot coffee, I felt ready to write.  After all the kitchen is cleaned, laundry folded and ready to go upstairs, everyone fed a nutritious breakfast and the doors are open to allow this beautiful day to flow in.  I'm ready.

I've already put the first bit of grass seed down and covered it, so much as been altered in the past year that it is going to be a long season of rebuilding, I'm excited for it. I figured as long as I was playing in the mud, I'd better take advantage of the warmth this week to get my poppy seeds planted.  There is more cold weather rolling in next week and they will need it if they are going to sprout and fill the spaces left barren. In a few more weeks I will plant the cosmos, marigold, and zinnias.  A short time later will find lots of sunflowers planted where they would have never grown a few months ago. And the lilac will finally be planted in the ground.

this guy was amazing - and terrifying

Hubs and I are busy plotting and planning.  How much grass?  Should we add more raised beds?  What do we think is going to happen in this mixed up crazy time that we are moving through? The removal of that massive old bradford pear tree has left us with lots of new options.  Not to mention an enormous pile of wood to cut up for future winter fires. 

half-way there

that ground hadn't seen that much sun
in 30 years

Oddly, I have no anxiety, no stress or fears.  It feels like forever since that has been the way of life. There is a rhythm now, like a slow drumbeat.  That isn't to say I am not paying attention to things.  Or that I haven't noticed the way grocers keep raising prices.  The businesses that have struggled for so long that are finally closing their doors.  I've noticed.  

relaxing with Dad on a cold winter day

Somewhere along the way of the past 4 years a calmness has finally settled.  Our little suburban homestead becomes more solid all the time.  It's almost time to plant the gardens, last fall we planted our first elderberry bushes, we followed the directions to a "t" so with any luck we won't have to travel to pick elderberry in the future.  Hopefully this year will also find us able to plant our own mullein.  We'll see.  If not, there is always a plan "b".  As our yard is more open to sunshine now, we may plant a wider variety of veggies, then again maybe I will plant a beautiful herb garden.  I am overcome with the possibilities.

Soon I will be able to go buy my goats milk again, I can hardly wait.  I also have a local bee keeper I support and it's almost time for the farmers markets to open again.  I'm tired of the world we were living in, we don't play in that world too much anymore.  We are finding our tribe, like minded people, we are learning to support and lift up one another.  To stop relying so hard to sustain something that felt false and unsustainable.

It feels like we've been in a ship on rocky seas for a really, really long time.  And the storm is raging still, it's not over, things need to right themselves.  I think all of us have a different way of dealing with it all.  We all have different ideas of what that righting is and will be.  For us, there is a sense of peace, we aren't playing in those waves as much.  We are choosing a calmer path. 

Washing dishes, cooking meals from the best and cleanest ingredients I can find, cleaning my house, working in my yard, taking care of my Hubs and pups, being there to support my kids and grands when they need it.  And having time to create.  All of these things are stabilizing.  Soon I will head upstairs, to iron and put away laundry.  

My version of Old Town

After the chores are done, I will head to my sewing studio, I decided that I was going to make another version of the Old Town quilt that I made myself.  This one is for my Hubs.  I might be crazy, at over 3100 tiny pieces, it's more intense than a jigsaw puzzle at times.  Yet, getting lost in putting those tiny bits together eliminates room for the chaos of the world to crowd my thoughts. 

the colors for Hub's Old Town

I have some strong ideas about what I am watching unfold.  Very strong, but I'm opting to sit on the sidelines and watch from afar.  I'm intrigued, I'm aware, I'm observing.  But from a distance.  I am focusing on the world right in front of me, I'm focusing on what I can immediately impact.  I'm tried of raging and worrying through things that I have zero control over. 

Over the past few years, I have come to realize the smaller the bubble the happier you become.  I have time to laugh, to worry over my ability to recreate my Hubs favorite meals but in our own kitchen instead of somewhere we don't know what was used.  I have time to stop and observe.  Things have fluttered through the past few years, time has really stopped being relevant or even observable.  I forget things, I laugh, I move on.  So many that I speak to are experiencing the same thing. 

Birthdays, holidays and so much more sneak up and take me by surprise.  Evenings are spent enjoying old shows with Hubs, working on some little thing and chatting during the never ending pharmaceutical commercials. Seriously, whatever happened to Mr. Whipple and his Charmin, or even Clara yelling "where's the beef". Now we mute it because the endless lists of side effects from drugs they are hawking is enough to terrify the staunchest horror movie fan.  Geez, why?  Just why?

I'm toying with a few future ideas, one of which is starting another blog, focusing on living a different kind of life.  Another thing I am exploring is how to help others learn skills that are rapidly fading away, a self-sufficiency that is fading away.  I have a million other thoughts that glide through my mind while I stitch away on one of my vintage Singer sewing machines.  There is something about the sound that welcomes you to slow and daydream. 

My day dreaming often beacons me back here.  I have so many thoughts and memories recorded in these posts.  Time gone by.  I would love to save it, I often wonder if this platform will ever disappear and with it my thoughts and memories.  I am not technically skilled to save them to something else.  It's one of the thoughts that stops me from starting something else.  The technical world is not really for me.  I thrive in a simpler, more hands on world. 

I definitely don't recall planting a Pup

Who knows... the future is just that, the future. For now, the birds are calling, the pups are napping and it's time to go upstairs.  Maybe the blue jay will come back and sit on the branches and watch me sewing.

peace and love on your own journeys...

enjoying the day...

Ouch, that is how my fingers are feeling today.  One would think that I wouldn't have managed to damage two fingers doing something that I have done for literally decades.  Yet, her we are.  Trimming threads on the family quilt I managed to put a nice slice into my pointer finger with a pair of super sharp scissors, ouch.  Not terrible, still able to be used, but definitely tender.  

Then yesterday while working on the antique quilt, I was so focused on holding together some fairly interesting seams that I didn't even notice the needle of the sewing machine aimed right at my middle finger of the same hand.  Ouch, ouch, ouch!

Each strike of the keys reminds me that I need to pay better attention to the minutia.  Both injuries are minor.  Both injuries will heal very quickly.  Both injuries have definitely got my attention today.  Neither injury will stop me from doing what I want to do, but they will make me far more cautious and force me to pay attention.  

I lost myself in my project yesterday, I had set the goal of finishing the quilting of another quilt.  It wasn't large so I knew I could accomplish it. With Hubs gone and very few distractions, short of double injured fingers I got to work.  I turned on a few different podcasts, had to make a second trip up to the sewing room to load bobbins, brought down a big glass of water and went to work.  

I'm quite pleased with the final outcome.

I honestly did not have many hopes about the outcome, I was hoping for a simple utility quilt, knowing how awkward the piecing was.  Half way through, I came to the realization that quilting can hide a multitude of sins.  It's not a perfect quilt, although it is a true and pure reflection of someones hard labor and after quilting, I am in love with it.  This morning as I put the binding on and completed it, I was sad that it wasn't big enough for my bed.  The feed sacks, muslin, polyester and flannel bits and pieces feel warm and welcoming.  They invite you to snuggle up beneath it and relax. To spend some time day dreaming.

I need to run to the farmers market today or at least I should.  They still have some great prices on their tomatoes and the season is coming to an end.  I am getting low on tomato paste and this is the perfect time to pick up the supplies.  Truthfully, I don't want to.  I just don't feel like peopling today.  I'm showered and dressed, ready to go so to speak.  But mentally, that bucket is drained.  It's completely empty. 

Even sitting by my beautiful fire this morning did not inspire me to want to go out and about.  That phrase it's just too peoply out there keeps running through my head. I had to go to a neighborhood meeting yesterday, they are going to be doing some repairs to our roads and we needed to be sure we knew when they were blocking us off. Being around that group of diverse personalities was super challenging.  They all seemed to be fussing about someone in the group.  Ironically, the neighbor that has been the worst one for destroying neighborhood unity decided it was the perfect time to preach all about how we should be more community and neighborhood driven.  I understood folks feelings as they walked off, refusing to listen.  It was draining. 

I feel I will probably find myself at my longarm again shortly.  Losing myself in the satisfaction that comes from finishing a quilt.  Its feeling like an addiction.  In two weeks time I have finished two of the quilts that have languished in my sewing studios for decades.  I have about 5 or 6 more waiting to be completed and I now seem to have this super strong urge to complete them all. I mean what is the purpose of having a stack of unfinished quilts?

I pressed out another one to load this morning, I guess it might have been my inner self telling me what I was going to do today. I'm already envisioning the designs I want so use.  I plan to do something a bit different that I usually do, so we will see how that works out.  I figure if I manage to complete one every couple of days I might have at least three of them finally finished before the fabric comes in to finish the "family quilt" early next week.  I would really like to have my family quilt finished before Hubs heads to Alabama, so that he can show it to Sis.

still not the final layout

Yep, I think I am going to continue to boycott being in public.  I'm going to get a big glass of water and head down to my longarm and start on the next quilt. But first I think I will just snuggle with the boy dog, the girl dog simply can't stand to be cuddled for very long, although you can pet her all day as long as she is free to come and go as she pleases and finish drinking my cold cup of coffee and do a bit more day dreaming... 

love and prayers...