It's the last eve of my 49th year. I'm sitting here at the island in my kitchen munching on some sushi from my favorite spot in town. It's fairly quiet in the house, the turtle pump is running, the air conditioner is keeping me from remembering that it's still in the 90's outside, and faintly I hear the television.
I was sitting here surfing the internet... Lord knows I didn't really have time for that either, but I needed a moment to slow down. Just a final minute or two to savor the moment.
Hubs is at the girl's house. Doing who knows what. I feel like the greatest conspiracy since who shot Kennedy is unfolding around me. Strange considering I said I was really great with a simple, quiet, uneventful day. Something tells me selective hearing has occurred.
It's odd... I don't mind 50. In fact I think it's kind of cool. I sure don't feel like I imagined it to be way back when 25 seemed like a death knell and I felt certain that the sands in my hour glass were on warp speed.
50 is far different. Tomorrow when I wake up I will officially be a half century old.
Guess what, except for the bum knee I have acquired caring for hubs and the beautiful salt and pepper gray of my hair, I feel the same as I did at 25.
Sure I have more battle scars from living life, but what kind of life well lived doesn't give you those? I have learned many lessons, trust, love, friendship. Those all have deeper meanings than they did so long ago.
Sitting here eating my sushi (I only like the vegetarian ones - yes you can laugh now) I am realizing that even though I have matured and mellowed. I am still the closet hippie that I have always been. Lost somewhere between Little House and a Flower Child. But the edges are becoming far more refined. I actually sent back a glass of wine for being "too" sweet. I have a mild addiction to Brazilian coffee. And I am now and probably always will be a foodie... treasuring new flavors and experiences. But, I also delight in a fresh grown tomato from my back deck, or that beautiful red pepper that I am hoping to have with some freshly made hummus before the week is out - if I can beat the squirrels to it.
I still love hot pink - well everything! - says the woman with a pink purse, pink wallet, pink nails, and a pink tote.
I have acquired tons of tools of my trades. Yes Hubby spoils me. With love.
I will never be sophisticated, that wasn't a gene that was offered up when I was created. I will always be me. Most comfortable in a baggy long skirt or dress with my feet covered in Birkenstock's. In the fall and winter, bring on the jeans, a baggy sweater or sweat-shirt, hand knit socks and of course... my birks. I guess the only thing I could do to more strongly be identified with a crazy little hippie child would be to wear flowers in my hair.
Yeah... NO! While I love to be surrounded by flowers, I am not wishing to wear them on my body.
Those that truly know and love me, know that I am loyal, honest and loving. I will always take care of all around me, and I love doing so.
I have finally reached a point in my life that is filled with love, laughter and happiness. Even life's challenges are just a stone to step over... I am finding myself truly blessed.
I have discovered over the years that the shyness that is part of me, is something I cherish. It protects me. Gives me the time I need to observe, decide if I want to jump into a situation. My introverted nature allows me to be the light that allows my sweet hubby to shine even brighter with his bold extroverted self. My odd artistic side is oddly enough treasured by many (don't know how that went from making me a freak to making me a great person to know). I know that I am quirky, I like those things about me!
Nope... 50 isn't seeing too many changes. A few more crinkles at my eyes when I smile, a few more of life's battle scars, but all in all, I... I think I will simply stay me as I get ready to tackle my next quarter of a century!