But tonight is cool, almost cold, sitting here under the blanket of stars. The puppies are getting their final romp of the night, hopefully wearing themselves out so they will sleep. Tomorrow will find Hubs back home and another week beginning.
I feel like we are on the edge of something more powerful than any of us have ever imagined. I don't know what it is, but there is an edginess to the world, to nature, to the energy around us. I am praying that it will finally be the beginning of light and love, we've had so much sadness. So much anger and confusion. I am praying so much lately, almost pleading with God to hear the prayers of the weary.
I have dear friends that live in Europe, I have family in states that are struggling, I pray daily that they are safe, healthy and protected. I worry about the things I hear on the news, will the people of Europe truly suffer what keeps coming up? What about California?
I try not to dwell on these things. It's one of the reasons I am being so quiet lately. I don't have the energy left to wonder and dwell. Instead, I am focused on leaving it all in God's hands and doing the things that bring me comfort and peace.
A friend reached out the other day asking if I could donate to a silent auction they are having in her community. I paused for a moment, I needed more information. I'm still pondering what my donation will be, do I truly have anything of value that will help? When she told me the theme of the event, my decision was made. How could I not support "A Journey of Hope".
In my former life we used to do an ice breaker at our meetings, one of the things to do was to say which one of the core values we most identified with... I always chose hopeful. I am not so sure that I am a pure optimist, I often find myself working through feelings of defeat and loss, but I am forever hopeful that pure goodness will ultimately rule the day. I am forever hopeful of a bright future.
She had me at hope.
I will start to plan my donation tomorrow, I might even deliver it when I head to the Amish market on Friday. She doesn't need it right away, but I know the longer I ponder it, the less sure I will be of my choices. It's best to simply dive in.
Sitting out here in the garden, surrounded by stars and the calming sounds of the night, I feel a strong sense of hope. Yep, I do wear those rose colored glasses well. I simply cannot accept that this hurting, divided, injured world is going to stay the way it is. We are not meant to hate, to fear, to doubt. We are meant to love, to lift up, to give, to hope.
Hmmmm... Almost sounds like I've been drinking a bit too much wine doesn't it? Ironically, it's just Earl Gray tea with a couple of sugar-free peanut butter cookies. I can't be the only person that feels hopeful. At least I pray that I am not.
To me being hopeful doesn't mean I am sitting around doing nothing. That I am just going to pray and wait for a good outcome. I happen to be a person that believes the Lord is asking us to roll up our sleeves and do the work he is asking us to do.
I feel strongly that I need to keep taking good care of my family. Right now the only part of my family that needs me to be there full time are the puppies and my sweet Hubs. I've raised strong children that are busy living their best lives. I take my role seriously.
As I worked today on putting up things for winter I felt a calmness in my soul. I love that I can spend a few hours and provide the freshness of summer all winter long. My beautiful garden is still covered with a harvest not gathered yet. While stirring the batch of apple butter and peeling the acorn squash to be canned now and roasted later, I was plotting what I will do with this incredible bounty of peppers that I am surrounded with.
Some I will dry and grind, those Hot Pinata Peppers, look to be powerful in the tiny, tight, gnarled spears. I didn't buy those seeds, they came in one of my orders as a thank you. I have no idea how spicy they are, all I know is they look fierce. The sweet peppers will probably end up eaten by Hubs and those not eaten will end up in a stuffed pepper soup.
There are still tomatoes and okra that I harvest almost daily, the same with the green beans. I canned the last batch of green beans, but Hubs couldn't wait and made them for dinner the next night. I have to admit, I was fairly pleased with them. It's the first time I've ever had a good harvest of beans. It's hard to have a great bountiful garden when you grow it in pots on your deck.
Tomorrow morning my friend will drop off some soups for me to process for them. I have so many people that I am able to lean into and I love that they lean into me also. In my perfect world, we aren't keeping score, we are working seamlessly together. Each of us lifting the other in some way. They are always there when I need them, I am thankful to be able to be there for them also.
I've enjoyed my quiet days, the television hasn't come on, the silence has been a balm to my weary soul. I've played with my puppies, I've chatted with friends, I have barely left the house or even put shoes on (I love to walk barefoot outside - drives Hubs a bit nutty), I have puttered, I have worked, I have prayed and I have laughed. But it's time for Hubs to come home. We are a pair and it feels odd and empty to not have him here. I'm still going to treasure the silence, but I will welcome the comfort that comes from hearing the television and his music wafting through the house.
I thought that maybe there was no moon above tonight, but looking to the east I see it is starting to peek through the trees, I can't see enough of it to know what phase its' in, but it is bright through the branches. I don't think it is full, but it's close.
Do you feel the energy changing? Are you seeing a glass half full or half empty? We are heading into a powerful time, are you ready? Am I?
love and prayers...
