in like a lion...

Well, 9 days in and I am going to say that March definitely came in like a lion! I'm hoping it heads out like a lamb... Does anyone still remember that saying?  It feels like something you never hear anymore.  This past week has been a humdinger to be sure.  Sunday before the weather turned we spent some family time hiking and enjoying the beauty that this area of the mid-west has to offer.  

Beau and Belle convinced Dad to tackle a hike with us at Rockwood Conservation Area.  To say it was breath-taking would be an understatement.  In many ways.  It rolled from a beautiful tame path through the forest where you could see all of the caves along the bluffs, to some serious stair climbing to reach the upper levels.  Hard to believe it was only a 2 mile hike, we definitely worked muscles we all forgot we had. 

Later in the day we decided to head up the Illinois River Road towards Alton and Grafton.  The eagles are sill here and we wanted to enjoy them. We took a few more walks, none of us were ready for any further hikes at Pere Marquette State Park. Nothing strenuous, it was simply a beautiful day pre-storm meant for enjoying life. 

Waiting for Dad to catch up

hiking along the quarry trail

The Pups even had a bit of a romp off leash along the river in a wide open space.  That might have been the start of the lion part of the week. After jumping back in the car we stopped at a little place that allowed us to have the pups with us on the patio, the plan was simply a nice cold beer after all that walking. One thing led to the other and fresh fried catfish sounded too good to pass up, we ordered the pups a burger to split, of course they sampled the fish.  

where's our order?

waiting...

The temperature started to drop, the skies developed that deep gray that says a storm is rolling in and we decided it was time to head back home.  We love going up the river road, but it's not a fun drive to get there.  As we stood up to leave we noticed that Belle was lame.  Not limping, flat out lame, moving around on three legs. Carefully, we got her down the steps and into the car.  Hoping for a pulled muscle. 

Resting on the ride home

Our little girl is a full on athlete, she pushes herself to unheard of levels, which is why she is usually restrained and not allowed to get up to her shenanigans.  Sunday, she managed to finally do what I'd worry would happen one day.  

We didn't know it at the time, she wasn't crying or acting in pain, just refusing to step on that left back leg.  The vet wasn't able to see her until Thursday, but as she wasn't in visible pain they said it should be fine, she was eating, sleeping, playing and even going for short walks without too much problem, just an occasional limp or three legged run when she was in a hurry.  They said no hikes and keep the walks short and they'd see us then. 

No worries on that front dodging rain storms meant we were only able to walk in the neighborhood anyhow. The baby aspirin was helping her and she was using it a bit more, we could wait. She just got some extra loving and attention while we waited.  

Beau had gone just over a year without a seizure.  I was so thankful.  Wednesday night Hubs woke me up yelling my name.  Beau was having a breakthrough seizure, it was fast and short, he came out of it fairly quickly and was back to being himself within the hour.  Complete with demanding treats and tummy rubs. 

It was a fitful night, waiting for that next seizure, worried, stressed.  Beau is a cluster seizure guy, they are terrifying, I went a few nights without sleep.  He gets very panicked by large storms and we had several roll in.  I mean it is early springtime in the mid-west - it's the norm. Panic can bring on seizures. 

Thankfully, no more have occurred, although, the timing did necessitate his attending Belle's appointment with me, he couldn't be left alone - it was less than 12 hours post seizure. 

Our amazing vet, the one we rarely get to see, was so gracious and checked over both of my babies.  Belle has a complete CCL tear, the best solution for her is surgery.  Gulp!  I'll be scheduling it tomorrow.  Looks like Belle and I are both going to have matching left knee surgeries, she is such a momma's girl. 

Beau has sailed through the week without any more seizures, but we will be checking his phenol levels to insure he is still in therapeutic range, Doc said not to worry, it was actually far more unusual to go a full year without a minor breakthrough than to have a breakthrough.  We are still so new to this journey.  

mom got her shoes... quick let her know wer're ready

His walks have helped my boy drop 6.5 lbs since December.  He still has a few more to go and balancing Belle's need for short daily walks, no running allowed, with Beau's need for the longer power walks, coupled with Hubs varying ability/pain tolerance for any walks... well suffice it to say I am definitely turning into a walking machine.  

My $100 mutts are definitely not inexpensive. But the love they give is beyond priceless.  I cherish that my sweet Hubs didn't blink when it came to the decision about her surgery.  We could allow her to limp and deal with pain and arthritis.  A lot of people make that choice for a variety of reasons.  If she was significantly older and more sedate, we might be weighing other factors in our decisions.  But... she's only just turned 4 and is extremely active.  To not do it would just be cruel. 

the Meramec is at flood stage

morning romp in the rain

All of this is on top of Hubs' procedures on his back, all occurring this month.  It's going to continue being action packed right up until the 31st, when Hubs has his last injections and hopefully Belle has her surgery. 

It's looking like April and May will be super chill and housebound for us. Beau and I will continue our hikes during the hours that Dad can sit with Belle, she will be 100% confined for a full 4 weeks, with only short potty trips out front.  The month of keeping Belle, the original energizer puppy still is probably my greatest concern.  

We will rearrange the house to provide a safe recovery area for her, I will sleep on the main floor with the two of them while she recovers.  Hubs will take time off for me to attend a family wedding and step into the nursing role temporarily.  Thankfully by then she will be in the second phase of recovery and have house privileges, if not stairs.  At that point her therapy schedule will involve a lot of short, slow walks, building up her strength and muscle tone. 

Just now giving her the medication for inflammation I noticed she could use a pedicure, then I laughed, because they provide a complimentary one while they have her knocked out for surgery.  For the cost of that surgery they should provide them for life.  But I'll take the small wins, we are paying for an orthopedic specialist, we can't complain. I think I'll let her wait, she's not a fan.

Solo at Route 66 State Park

Yesterday was the first time I've taken Beau on a solo hike.  Leaving Belle with Dad, whose back was definitely hurting. Beau was in absolute heaven. I've always thought Belle was the one that set our pace, I couldn't have been more wrong.  Beau put me through my paces as he strutted along in that long lopping style of his, my watch assuring me that I was definitely in an aerobic pace, as if my legs and breathing weren't already reassuring me of that fact. Each time I slowed the little drill sergeant turned and looked at me like I was a complete slacker.  

He didn't even want to stop for a drink at the mile and a half point.  He's come so far from the little butterball that barely walked a quarter mile at the beginning of the year. Just shy of 3 miles he was informed that we were getting in the car and heading home.  He'd had a great time splashing in puddles, running back and forth and he still had energy to go.  Mom did not. 

Can't pose mom... geez

but we can stop for flowers...

I was dreading the neighborhood walk with Belle, she's so strong and is the one I am usually restraining, I was definitely concerned.  Surprisingly, without her brother, Belle is a completely different walker.  More timid, staying very close to my side.  It was a blessing and joy to walk her.  Many of my recovery fears with her faded during that walk.  

Today, we are dealing with the time change - ugghhh... I was completely loving my early sunrises.  I am definitely in the group of people that feels leaving time at stand time would be a blessing. Although the brain trick of a 445 wake up as opposed to my usual 345 wake up was sort of nice.  I still hate the darkness of mornings. 

Tomorrow is the first of the two procedures for Hubs.  Pupsitter is retained (of course it's scheduled during Beau's med time, thankfully their auntie is amazing), and Hubs is ready.  We're praying for a positive outcome, although we've been warned it could be a couple of weeks before he feels the relief.  We've been told the one on March 31st will have instant pain relief, so they might just coincide.  Here's to hoping Hubs goes into birthday month feeling fantastic. 

Well, I promised Hubs a batch of beef jerky, so I am gonna get busy.  Time for today's crazy to start. 

much love, 

b

some days...

Yesterday's rainy weather got lost, it showed up in the wee hours this morning.  It definitely looks far more deary than it actually is. We could have used the actual rain yesterday, this frozen mixture is doing very little for the parched ground. As I sit here and watch the snowflakes falling a mix of huge and tiny, I am now wondering how much of it is going to stick. We were told none, as I watch the decks, grass, trees and everything else slowly turning a beautiful white, the flakes are now large and fluffy. I'm over winter, I'm tired of being teased by those random beautiful days that beacon us to put away the sweaters and sit outside to bask in the brightness of the sun. 

I'm ready for the rebirth.  That beautiful shade of green that burst forth as the seasons officially change, is something I am longing to see. 

This blog was interrupted by Beau's desire to go for a walk. Thankfully the snow isn't sticking, to any degree, it will all melt away quickly, although it is stupid cold out there.  This time of year makes me absolutely crazy, Sunday we were at the park having a picnic.  Today, the pups and I were the only ones crazy enough to be out.  They have a fenced yard, so I am not sure what the desire for a walk was, I just know he wasn't going to lay down and chill until he walked. 

I'm sitting here until we go for a walk

I was in a strange space yesterday, I didn't realize the date until late in the evening when one of my sisters posted the last picture of our entire family together.  It was 7 years since that early morning call. The one I had been expecting, never wanting to receive. I had errands to run, so I hadn't really created a solid plan for the day.  So I was basically filling in the times between things.  

Hub's truck needed to go to the shop.  I'd finally hit the point that I was not willing to allow it to go anywhere until it was looked at.  My worrywart side had come to the conclusion that the noise we'd been hearing for months was no longer something minor, that it was growing to the point of being crazy expensive (I mean what isn't these days).  Ends up fairly minor, whew, but they couldn't tell us how long they would need the truck to be onsite.  Oddly, I rarely if ever go anywhere and don't truly need a car, but it feels strange to not have one.  I often ponder how we got to the mindset that we needed things like multiple cars.  Realistically, our family doesn't need two cars, I seriously hardly leave the house.  Yet, it feels weird.  

Later Hubs and I decided to skip dinner time and catch a movie.  Gotta say, I was seriously not excited about his choice in movies.  I am not a movie person, I don't sit still well, so a movie date means I am going to have to be still. The people sitting beside me would definitely frown if I  started breaking out yarn and a crochet hook. It seemed important to him.  So we went.

"My Dead Friend Zoe" is not a title I would have expected from Hubs.  Honestly, expected a horror movie with that title, and he never chooses those. It is a beautiful, haunting, sad and hopeful story.  I personally hope every person in the country goes to see it. 

Hubs occasionally battles PTSD, any veteran that has served in combat is bound to experience it from time to time.  Although it is not exclusive to veterans, they suffer in the greatest numbers.  This story is about a veteran, it's about the process of dealing with those terrible things that linger and eat into the very essence of their lives.  I was not about to let him go see that kind of movie alone.  

If you have a chance to go see it, please do.  Our veterans have done an amazing service for all of us.  Understanding the battles they will always face is the least we can do for them. 

As I filled the hours in between the things, I decided to work on things that will fill my booth at the craft show at the end of the month. I mean, why not be productive with ones time.

I'm enjoying making these a bit 
too much

Through it all, I couldn't shake the disconnected feeling of the day.  It felt off.  I felt like there was something I was supposed to do, yet couldn't recall what it was. As the day unwound, and I saw the picture my sister posted, it felt like everything clicked into place.  I love and hate that picture at the same time.  I cherish that we were all together before the domino's started to fall, my heart hurts to remember that was the final smile I saw. The remaining time was hard, for all of us, the remaining time was bitter. 

us

I don't visit the past much.  Which is ironic given that I live a simpler life more common in the past.  I sometimes think it is because I am not strong enough to deal with what is back there.  I never linger over pictures of loved ones gone on, I get fussy when Hubs wants to show me pictures and video's of my fur babies that are gone.  It isn't something I can do.  I am horrible with remembering dates connected to those memories.  Maybe it is a flaw in my make up or maybe it is a protective mechanism.  It doesn't diminish the love I carry, it just softens the ache. 

Today is a different day, today as the winds race around and the cold permeates everything while winter struggles to hold on for another little bit, I am more centered.  Today, I can think, I don't feel disconnected.  Today is a day for daydreaming, planning and moving forward. 

What does that look like?  Outside of the garden planning, there are other things I am longing to do. I am just trying to discover what that path forward looks like.  I am finally ready to start dusting off day dreams and giving them life.  Hubs and I have long talked about my teaching basic sewing and quilting skills to people that want to learn.  

Gertrude, my 301a

I am passionate about my vintage/antique machines and would love to share that passion with others.  I'm not sure what forward looks like, but I do believe that if folks are interested, I am going to teach on those machines.  

Not everyone has a vintage Singer 221 (featherweight) I am blessed to have several, and my Singer 301a is an absolute dream to sew on.  I also have a Singer 99k and several 15's and 128's to name a few.  The simplicity and ease makes sewing on them a pure joy.  I wish I had been blessed to have one when I was learning. I also have the ability to work on all of those machines and I can teach others to take care of their own.  Like I said, there are dreams dancing in my heart and head, I think they are just about ready to become real...

time to stop daydreaming and get busy

But not if I spend all my time sitting here writing, rewriting and day dreaming.  I want to go get a loaf of bread started and then I need to get busy.  A cold, dreary day calls for something warm don't you think?

peace and love my friends...

brrr.... the cold is everywhere...

I'm sitting here wondering why I am wide awake so early, listening to the wind chimes and thinking that winter sure came roaring in like a lion, a week ago it was a whooping 82° outside. We have barely seen it go out of the twenties for a few days now. My steaming hot coffee is keeping the chill at bay, well that and the warmth of my not so small puppy curled up at my legs.

Thankfully, I am toasty warm with lots to keep me busy. 

Since I've walked away from most social media, allowing myself a few minutes here and there on a few of them to keep myself aware of what is going on in the world, I am finding that I am getting so much completed. It's amazing and a bit humbling to realize how much time of my life was being wasted.  I've even started doing my to do list again, I'd stopped for far too long. It felt like a constant reminder of all I wasn't finishing.  I didn't stop to think about the reason that I wasn't able to finish things, I just assumed I had set too high of goals. 

I definitely admit that the revitalization of Twitter is holding me a bit captive, so I definitely have to monitor my time on there.  It's become a guilty pleasure for me, it's also a great way to get fairly uncensored news.  Not perfect by a long shot, but a heck of a lot more informative than the non-stop brainwashing of local and national media. 

I'm starting to be made increasingly aware of the changes to our economy.  And personally, I'm not finding anything to be incredible where it is all concerned. While printing off our personal property taxes so Hubs could register his truck I noticed this years were already posted.  Ironically, our truck is another year older, more miles on it, working further into it's life expectancy - yet because of the created vehicle shortage and some bureaucrat it's value has gone up significantly.  Therefore, the taxes have soared as well.  

I won't pay them on my car this year, as I just bought it this year.  I can hardly wait to see the damage next year.  I own that vehicle completely, I am not really sure why I should have to pay the state an additional fee yearly to own it.  It's mine. I already pay for the required insurance and yearly registration and all of the fee's connected with that debacle. 

At some point folks need to seriously look at all of the taxes they pay for everything.  And it isn't just taxes.  Our vehicle insurance has gone up $50 per month, while a few dollars here and there doesn't seem like much, those few dollars here and there are adding up really fast.  

Hubs and I have a nice income, we are not rich, not by an incredible long shot.  But we have what used to be a very comfortable income.  Each month those dollars seem to not be stretching nearly as far as the month before. And almost daily there is another letter or email that one of the utilities or required expenses has increased yet again. 

And each trip for groceries is a painful reminder that our government is taking us the absolute wrong direction. If you truly believe that inflation is only in the area of 8 or 9%, you are evidently living somewhere other than this country. 

I am very thankful to the Lord that I have skills that enable us to stretch things a bit further, I am praying harder than ever for those that do not.  Somewhere along the way we haven't passed knowledge on to our children and grandchildren.  We haven't shared the things that are important. There are so many families, couples and individuals that are simply struggling to live at this point.  

I'm looking at paring back on the spending this Christmas, how many of them are simply praying to be able to have Christmas? Forget about Christmas, how many of them have warm clothing, jackets, food? I question the fact that we can find billions to send to other countries (and please do not get me started on that) yet we can't find billions to take care of our own people. 

There is much evil afoot right now.  There is suffering, needlessly.  It breaks my heart on a level I can't put into words.  I am not sure how to help.  It's easy to say get another job, that seems to be the default, it has to be their own fault they are suffering, kind of how we've been taught to think.  Yet what is that going to solve?  Sure they will have a few more dollars in their pockets, but after the increasing prices (on literally everything), the amount of taxes paid out of every dollar, they will simply loose more of their life to a system that is horribly broken and corrupt. 

And at what cost?  More expenses related to a second or third job?  Gas to get to and from, will dinners get made at home or will convenience food be purchased (I mean seriously that stuff is neither healthy of cheap on many levels), who's watching the kids if there are any?  So many factors, none of which bode well for the average person. 

I know, I know.  Early morning ramblings on the first cup of coffee are never good.  I've already spent a bit of time in prayer, I will be praying more while I stitch away at a quilt today (my version of worry beads or prayer beads I guess).  I am still pondering how to be a part of the solution, I am 100% open to suggestions and dialog.  I don't want to imagine how much harder life has to get for everyone before we have our ah-ha moment.  Before we reach the point they have reached across the world. Nor do I want to experience protests like they are having in Brazil, the Netherlands, France, Australia etc.  Millions marching in the streets doesn't seem very safe at all.  

Yet... as Thomas Jefferson is quoted as saying "I prefer dangerous freedom over peaceful slavery".  

Well, today is a busy one, I have a bit of canning to do and then it is back to work on the quilts I am working on, after I finish cleaning up the house for the day.  Immediately... I need more coffee and puppies need breakfast. 

Please have a wonderful day.  Prepare for things to get worse before they get better and while you are at it find a way to help someone everyday.  You never know that small simple act of kindness might be all that is holding them together right now. 

Love and prayers...

storms rolling in...

I was just out in my happy place, the treetop garden.  I love it in the early morning hours, with the lights glowing, in the silence of the wee hours.  It's calming, it's peaceful.  It gives me a feeling of closeness to God.  I didn't want to leave it.  I covered the grill, Hubs had forgotten.  I sat there for a moment and enjoyed my coffee.  

I was laughing because my sweet pups are afraid of the dark, so even though they wanted to go downstairs, they won't.  We have a few solar lights up in the back, but most of it is shaded too heavily for that to be the solution.  Hubs bought a light that is motion activated that we will put down there, we just haven't gotten to it yet. 

I sat there for a few moments, gathering my thoughts and planning my day.  Listening to the sounds of the world waking up, watching my scared puppies sitting inside looking at me like I was absolutely crazy. I came in when I started to hear the raindrops on the umbrella.  

In the distance there is a strong rumbling of thunder, sitting inside with a puppy (sometimes two) in my lap I keep seeing random flashes of lightning.  My weather alert let me know that there is severe thunderstorm moving into the area, I can't wait. I should disrupt the puppy in my lap to go out and put down the umbrella, I can't bring myself to do it. 

barely room for mom...

daddy needs in on the cuddles too

Thankfully neither of these sweet babies are afraid of storms.  They've never had any reason to be. My Gator was terrified of them.  I spent many storms comforting him and trying to erase the fear he developed when he was left on the streets to survive on his own. My babies haven't known that kind of fear, they have no reason to notice.  It's crackling around on all sides and they are sleeping quietly.  All of his life with me I had wished I could take away Gators fear, to make it as if it never happened.  I couldn't.  But he only knew love and protection after he came to me.  I sort of feel like these babies are my chance to heal his wounds, even though he is gone. So for a moment or two, I am going to sit here and let my little boy sleep and enjoy his puppy dreams, doing the things can wait. 

sound asleep holding her toy...

We are only supposed to have storms for a couple of hours today. I was wondering if we were going to only have the bowling tournament in heaven kind.  Lots of banging and cracking, but dry with little to no rain.  Just as I started to type that out, I heard the rain start.  I won't need to water my garden today, it's coming down hard.  Washing the world to a fresh start. 

I hope everyone is doing well.  This world is going quite wonky and sadly, I don't believe it will get any less wonky, in fact each day seems to find new and unique ways to point that out.  Being at home, I have a greater opportunity to observe these things. I am not distracted by a full time job and other people. I don't have a million different things vying for my attention. 

Hubs has a few different places to be today, so he will probably take my car as I do not, it gets better mileage than his truck and as he isn't hauling anything there is no reason to take the truck.  I will probably have him pick up a few things while he is out and about to avoid any extra driving.  He was on one of the apps this morning looking at gas prices.  Yesterday I found a website that tracks the changes. In my state, the average a week ago was $4.17, a month ago it was $3.88, yesterday it was $4.45 today... the average for the state is $4.49.  Here in the Lou, the average is $4.53.  I find this to be very telling of things to come. 

I am absolutely not going to start an electric car conversation.  Because the technology and infrastructure are simply not there on a grand scale.  And trust me there are many times in the last few decades that I considered one.  The cons still outweigh the pros when you stop and truly think it through.  Don't use talking/selling points.  Use rational thought. 

Besides it isn't just gasoline that is going up.  Have you noticed the change in your utility bills yet?  Why are they all of the sudden replacing all of our meters?  My house had one of the stupid "smart" meters when we moved in, it wasn't an option.  Yet they just came out and "upgraded" it to one they could have more control over. Look away, nothing to see here. 

Yesterday I was struggling with anxiety.  Fear is a dangerous thing that can really mess with your mind.  I was super tired and allowed myself to watch a bit of the news.  Those two things should never happen.  Once Hubs went to work and the televisions were off, I could feel my calmness return.  

I got busy.  I did productive things to take care of my family.  I returned to that place of being aware, but not being a part of it. I was still edgy most of the day, in fact sweet Hubs did point out that I seemed a bit grouchy.  I wasn't. I was simply tired and should have taken a nap. I went to bed early last night, super early. 

And after a full night of sleep, I am ready to face this day.  I am hopeful, I know that no matter how difficult it could become, we have a solid plan and the skills to be okay.  I hear a lot of folks remembering how bad it was in '08, worrying that it is going to be worse.  I don't disagree on the "worse" factor.  The thing is, I don't remember it being so horrible.  Sure money got super tight, we took pay cuts that hurt, we still had kiddo's at home so dollars didn't stretch super far.  

But.... 

I don't remember it being a time of great need.  We shifted our patterns.  We didn't go out to eat, except for those $4.99 specials so we could feed the whole family for around $30.  We changed the stores we shopped at and cut back further on name brand items.  We still did things, just not pricey things.  Instead of a pool membership, we bought a small pool for the backyard.  I worked my gardens around my work schedule and we did just fine. We cut where we needed and we were smart with the bits that we had. 

Have you thought about what some of this could, most likely will, mean for your daily life?  I have and do.  I'm not worried, but I am aware and I am taking steps to insure that this inflation will cause us the least amount of pain possible.  It will cause pain, every time we fill a vehicle it hurts, but we are doing all we can to minimize that level of discomfort.  Are you?

Well, I need to get busy... I have some canning I want to wrap up today and some sewing too.  In a few moments sweet Hubs will come up from the man cave in search of breakfast... have a beautiful, productive day!

love and peace...

oh my heart...

Welcome to the mid-west, woke up to steamed up windows, the humidity outside is horrible. Luckily rain is moving in tomorrow evening, which will definitely improve things for a bit.  Being the mid-west it will only help for the moment.  We are moving into the hot, humid season, or hell on earth in my opinion. Oh joy.

I am going to buy a kiddie pool this weekend for the pups, I think they will love it.  Luckily one side of the backyard has a huge tree that keeps it very cool over there, so the pups will have lots of safe areas to enjoy. 

Hubs had the news on this morning, My heart is hurting.  When are people going to wake up?  When are they going to realize that regardless of your political beliefs the way things are going is hurting far too many people? When do we realize that the "people in charge" don't give a crap about the average person?  

Have you ever worked for a company and made the statement that the CEO doesn't care about the little guy?  Have you ever felt like you didn't exist in the company org chart?  That your whole point in being was to make money for the higher ups?

On a national and global scale, that is where we are.  We are simply pawns in a game they are playing.  I'm not sure what the ultimate goal of the game is, but I don't feel that it is the overall success of humanity. 

There was story after story about the lack of baby formula.  Why? I did some research on it last night, because I was hearing a lot of things that simply don't make sense.  Now even less makes sense.  In fact it all makes as much sense as the toilet paper shortage and that was off the chain stupidity.  To the best of my knowledge no one ended up walking around with a dirty bum. 

I could feel the same hype to fear that was so prevalent with the "pandemic".  I could hear that drum beating.  Why in the world would you allow your most vulnerable population to starve?  Or at least threaten to?  Glancing at Twitter and the Book, you have the folks out there beating the drum also.  Pounding it in a steady rhythm. 

Add into that this chirpy, smiling reporter this morning saying that gas is at an all time high and predicted to get higher every day.  All smiling and cheerful.  The reason?  After the pandemic people are finally getting out and about, they are doing things in droves and it is more than the supply can handle.  Odd that it didn't cover the news that our current administration cancelled all oil leases in Alaska and the Gulf of Mexico last night.  I had heard that from several reputable financial reports at about 430 am this morning.  I assure you that has more to do with it than the increase in people going places, because I don't know about where you live, but venues aren't packed to the brim like they were in 2019 around here.  In all my friend and camping groups folks are saying they are staying home more, the price of gas is outrageous.  Heck even the campgrounds aren't filling up. 

So you have food becoming harder to buy for a plethora of reasons.  You have gas becoming to pricey to drive anymore than you have to.  What is the plan here?  Sending more money to overseas?  We are not the worlds bank.  They have other neighbors with a far more vested interest in their sovereignty, why are we the only fools stepping up and why isn't being voted on by we the people - we are in a crisis of our own and our government seems to keep turning a blind eye to it.  Having stupid trials clogging the airspace to distract you?  Seriously, I couldn't care the least about Johnny and Amber.  Anymore than I cared about Ben and Jennifer or Brad and the other Jennifer, or well any of that stupid Hollywood crap.  Stuff leaking out of the Supreme Court to stir up more anxiety and drama?  

What are we being distracted from? What are they trying to accomplish?  Because frankly, I don't think our beautiful country has many more days left.  I am fearful that we the masses have become uneducated, uninformed controlled asses (sorry for my bluntness).  We are not taking care of our own responsibilities, we are allowing a detached and single focused group to control everything.  

I'm tired of watching this.  I'm tired of lifting everything up to God and expecting to have the change we need.  God is there, but we are expected to lift the weight, we have to actually participate in the solution.  It isn't going to be handed to us on a silver platter. 

Sorry if this feels like a rant.  It is a rant.  I'm tired of the massive fear mongering, I'm tired of the "well there is nothing we can do mentality".  I am tired of everyone waiting around for someone to save them.  

I don't think anyone is going to save us.  We have to do it ourselves. 

There are many recipes out there for solutions to the baby formula crisis.  Goats milk, recipes, etc.  Prior to the inception of mass production formula, people fed their babies.  Not every mother nursed for whatever reason.  Babies weren't dying of starvation.  Some of the comments I read broke my heart into a million pieces.  I understand medically fragile babies.  I truly do.  But for the most part, we have been programmed that if we don't do what the nice pediatricians and three letter groups say our babies will die horrible deaths. 

I didn't nurse my eldest, my mom told me I was too nervous to do it and I believed her.  I was a young mom and didn't have a wealth of knowledge to lean into.  The stuff you don't learn in the education system is vast.  She was on formula until about 3 months old, when the extreme projectile vomiting started I took her off of it and just used good old cows milk.  Surprisingly, much to the dismay of the pediatrician, the vomiting stopped and she thrived. 

My youngest was nursed.  He refused a bottle, wouldn't even remotely consider it. Even when it was filled with breast milk and we tried every available nipple on those bottles. The pediatrician informed me he was simply spoiled and would eat if he got hungry enough.  I was absolutely appalled, I asked her if that was the method she used with her babies.  Her answer... I don't have children and don't want any.  The fact that he is 31 years old and I can remember the conversation as clearly as it just happened should tell you the impact it had.  At seven months old that sweet boy weaned himself and switched over to using a sippy cup, mostly filled with "bubble water" because he loved it so much.  FYI - he also thrived. 

Karo disturbs me... but... 

There are ways to work around almost anything.  Maybe the government isn't going to approve of it, but let's be honest, I can't be the only one feeling like the government does not even remotely have our best interests at heart. 

1942 canning book... 

I am not going to allow myself to linger in these defeatist thoughts for long.  I am going to lean into the knowledge and the ingenuity of my ancestors and those that walked this path the last time it happened.  Is it more work, of course it is.  Is it worth it, you better believe it. I can't play in this playground that is being created for us, it goes against who I am as a human. 

Together we will make it.  The division that keeps getting stirred up, the haves and have nots being created, the "sections" - anyone else starting to feel like they are in a bad version of the hunger games?

Okay, I know that I am not in a clear head-space. I know I could go on for hours pleading with folks to pay attention, to step out into nature, turn off the "tell a vision" and to focus your heart on what is important. So instead of beating my own drum loudly enough to deafen others, I am going to instead focus on that drums rhythm and do the work needed for me and mine. 

love and peace...