oh my Belle...

What an incredibly short night.  I'm struggling this morning, my eyes are heavy and my motivation is completely lacking.  I was so tired all day yesterday and looking forward to curling up in bed as the sun started sinking into the horizon.  

I should have guessed the puppies were up to something, when the smell of dinner cooking didn't have them under my feet.  I'd looked outside and the motion lights were not on, so I mistakenly assumed they were upstairs in bed already.  They had already had their dinner, maybe they were just tired, and they are both semi-afraid of being outside in the dark although they are becoming braver. 

Just as I am putting away the dishes from dinner, I hear a bark.  Just one.  It's dark and I'm sure the neighbors aren't going to appreciate it, so I go outside to correct Belle, it was her bark. Instead of them barking at the fence I see them down by the shed in the dark and her very posture tells me she has something cornered.  That and the fact that my big strong marshmallow of a guy is cautiously bouncing back and forth trying to find his courage. 

I called them in... nope, wasn't happening.  Trying to see in the dark wasn't working and I really didn't want to take my eyes off them to go and get a flashlight and to manually trigger the motion lights.  I finally did anyhow, as my distracting them had gotten them to move away. 

nothing is slowing this girl down

Didn't see anything, finally coaxed them inside and shut the door.  No more outside time for them last night.  And they both desperately wanted back out.  It wasn't until Belle lifted her head from the water bowl that I realized I might have an issue.  There on her nose, spaced less than half an inch apart were two beads of blood.  Cleaning it up I realized it was far more clear than blood, but the little terror had found herself a snake. 

I have never in my life dealt with a snake bite, the only thing fairly comforting to me was the fact that I have never seen a venomous one near our home, at all.  Mostly your typical black, brown or garden varieties.  We have on occasion been terrified by a fairly large black rat snake, it's the one that climbed our siding to eat the baby bird over the light. So I could sort of take a breath. 

Until I asked Hubs what to do, honestly there are many times I assume that he has encountered everything and would have a ready answer.  I was not prepared for the "I have no idea what to do, better google it".  What?! That was not the answer I needed at that moment.  Especially as she immediately threw up her water and was standing there looking at me like what is going on?

trying to get the ball, hours before 
the snake incident

A quick call to the emergency vet calmed and terrified me all in one moment.  First she says she wouldn't worry, what to watch for and when to call them back.  That if it was going to be a problem I should know within 30 minutes to an hour.  Assuring me that dogs react differently to snake bites than humans do and then "if she has a reaction you will need to bring her in, you should have time they don't pass away immediately".... WHAT?!?!?!?!?!?!!!!!

Keep her calm and watch her.  Again... what???  Of course it is the hyper puppy, not the laid back chill puppy.  I could barely keep her from playing, even after major abdominal surgery. But okay... 

see mom I've got my ball...
I'm fine.... geez

As the minutes ticked slowly by, my stress was heading downward, she was acting just like her normal self and the only visible sign was a slight bump on the side that had bled the most.  Her gums stayed their normal bright pink, she acted just like herself and best of all no swelling. 

I know, I probably didn't need to worry.  But I am that person, so worry I did.  My dear friend talked on the phone with me for a few more hours while I cautiously watched her, checking on her, disrupting her rest, trying to convince myself that what I knew in my heart was true, she would be just fine.  Ugghhh that is hard to do, heck, I still worry non-stop about my very grown children.  Even though I know they are out there living their best lives.

no fear...

can't stop moving...

After about 4 hours of that nonsense my body took complete control, told my brain to shut up and forced me to go to sleep.  Luckily she decided last night was a good night to need to sleep by mom's head, Dad had given up on all of my shenanigans and gone to sleep in the guest bedroom (don't blame him at all). Every movement brought my eyes open and my hand to rest against her chest, assuring myself that she was okay. 

Somewhere around 3 am I finally must have fallen asleep, only to be awakened around 3:30 am by a happy bouncing Belle bringing me her toy and letting me know it was time to wake up and love on her, our usual routine.  For a small dog she is powerful and jumping on mom is a favorite thing.  They both decided that mom could sleep a bit longer, but after a restless night even 7 am was not a refuge. 

She's fine.  She ate a big breakfast, Hubs let them do their usual front yard potty break in the wee hours of the morning (he's the reason they wake up at unholy hours of the night - he does too), she's played and been her usual self.  The only thing unusual was that I actually got her to lie down in my lap and accept loving for 10 whole minutes without jumping down a dozen times.  Couldn't get a picture of that miracle, was far too busy enjoying the wonder of it. 

Neither Belle nor Beau are willing to leave the deck this morning, looking longingly at the toys that they've dropped down the stairs.  I guess I will need to take them both down and encourage them to explore again.  

I'm thankful she is okay.  I'm concerned that a snake was dumb enough to hang out in my yard, my babies are always running around out there, maybe it was just passing through.  Hubs assures me that she will never try to catch another snake, I have my doubts.  She is the most bull headed puppy I've ever known.  She and Beau almost had a box turtle this weekend, he was willing to walk away much sooner than she was.  She's tried to catch several toads now, including a huge one on Saturday.  For being a super smart puppy, I think she allows her brain to go on vacation when she sees prey.  Moths, butterflies, bees, squirrels, toads, turtles and now snakes... oh my....

chasing butterflies...

It's gonna be a rough day.  I am so very weary.  So are they.  Thankfully... my little sweet girl is okay, I would be crushed to lose either of them young. I want them to live their full lives and only then will I be able to emotionally deal with their losses.  I know this about myself.... 

love and prayers...

where does it stop?

I have a very needy puppy in my lap, so this might take awhile. I'm not thinking he wants me to write at all, as he climbed up here and considered chewing on my screen.  There truly isn't anything quite like puppy love.  Belle was in my lap earlier and just snuggled up and cuddled.  For her that is unusual, she struggles to stay that still.  But she is the puppy that stays up at night until mom comes to bed, Beau goes to bed the minute he is tired. They are such a blessing. 

I managed to get all the curtains up to darken the east side of the house yesterday.  The only room that doesn't have darkening curtains is the laundry room and I am considering putting them in that one too. I was able to raise the air conditioner temp and still keep the house comfortable. I got curtains for the west facing windows that I will put up today. 

I got up early and got all of the outside work completed, at least for now.  After a bit I will go out and water the garden again, the heat is horrible and the garden boxes don't hold a lot of moisture, they are too shallow. I harvested what is probably the last of the peas, this heat is finally taking them out, maybe a day or two more at most.  The sprinkler is still running out front, as I forgot to water yesterday and my ferns were looking rough this morning. I might need to gather some of the grass clippings for mulch when Hubs mows again, especially if this is going to go on much longer. 

very few left... I'll plant more in the fall

pickle #2

Looks like summer is going to be a scorcher this year.  Figures.  Nothing seems to be easy right now.  And I do mean nothing. It is feeling like any and everything that will make life a better, is going to require some serious effort on our part. 

Hubs was feeling a touch under the weather yesterday so I went and did the errands.  The rising cost of everything definitely is encouraging me to spend time on my own inflation busting, i.e. canning up meals and produce while the prices are semi-reasonable. 

I will admit that I rarely go to Costco during the week, I am not a huge fan of going places period and I am usually very busy during the day. But with gas shooting up forty cents over the weekend, I knew I would be wise to fill up my gas tank before it went any higher.  It felt almost dirty to be excited over the $4.64 a gallon that I was able to get at Costco.  Regardless, it was over $36 to fill my half empty tank.  Talk about a state of shock.  The long lines in the brutal heat made me envision the pictures from the 70's.  A super sweet older lady pulled up next to me and asked where she could see the price, I told her I'd just looked on the app and it was $4.64 as opposed to the $4.89 everywhere else.  She was visibly shaken. Even though she smiled at me and thanked me, it looked like even that was simply too much as she drove away. 

Going into the store was even more of an eye opener.  One reason I don't go there often is that I do not do well with crowds and crowded spaces.  Absorbing the energy of so many people is harsh and makes me feel fussy and unbalanced.  Yesterday, that was not a problem.  I was able to easily get a spot near the front of the store, no need for parking at the back of the lot because that is all that is available.  The store was light on customers and even lighter on inventory.  I was shocked.  I've never seen it that empty.  I was remembering how the stores were back in March of 2020, when things were first starting to wobble into insanity. 

I didn't need much, which was good, because there wasn't much.  It was sort of frightening.  I've pretty much stopped going to the store closer to my house, too many times they are out of pretty much everything on my list.  Anyone else wondering how much worse it is going to get?  

I was watching a video while making applesauce yesterday and they were talking about the search for feminine hygiene products.  All I could think was well, maybe it is only in that area.  By the end of the day, I'd seen at least 6 other sources with many comments and concerns that feel far too reminiscent of the baby formula debacle.  So I guess this is the next thing folks won't be able to get. 

I'm starting to wonder if folks will finally wake up and start questioning the bull crap when they have beer shortages?  I simply don't know how far this mess has to continue before we all start picking up our proverbial pitch forks and fighting back.  We've allowed our businesses to be regulated, mandated, taxed etc to the point that it is easier to give it up and walk away.  

We've allowed our government and the lobbyist to push us all into a corner.  The reason for the feminine hygiene shortage?  A cotton shortage.  I mean come on, we have or at least had some of the richest cotton farms in the world.  Have we plowed it all under and created condo's on the land?

I didn't get all of my errands run yesterday, I was far too hot and had chores to finish at home.  I need to go out and pick up a few bags of peat moss and such for my last raised bed.  I'm dreading it.  The bags of dirt and such for a garden have tripled in cost this year.  The same bag I paid $7 for last year, was over $25 this year at the same store.  I am getting ready to start my compost pile, I'm tired of paying a stupid amount of money for subpar fill dirt, when what I need is rich soil. 

I simply do not understand all of this.  I'm tired of reading of all these various food processing plants being burned to the ground.  Ironically, too many of the fires are starting on the roofs.  Really?  Why?  How?  Why isn't the media reporting on this strange phenomenon? 

Oh yeah... that's right.  The media isn't there to report on the truth, it doesn't care about reality, it isn't paid to do that.  George Carlin tried to warn us about that, quite some time ago. 

Today will be another busy one.  After I get the new curtains installed, I have a long list of things that are going in my canners.  I also want to start processing some of the things in my freezers, sadly I have zero faith that the power is not going to go out and/or be spotty.  They have already warned us it is coming, I figure they are simply waiting for everyone to be hot and miserable first. 

I've seen some crazy stuff in my life, but the past couple of years takes the cake.  The number of fearful people unwilling to look around and see what is happening is absolutely unnerving.... 

By the way... look who was back this
morning... yikes! I scared it while
cleaning up puppy poo... seems he lives
in the wood stack outside the back door. 

Well, it's time to go and move the sprinkler and then get busy. Please take care of yourselves and pay attention.  

love and peace...

losing my mind?

Get the puppies fixed at the same time they said, it will be easier they said... she agreed... now she is seriously questioning her sanity and intelligence.  For this moment they are sound asleep.  Hopefully that is how the majority of the day is going to go, although it does mean I am sitting here basically watching their every move.  Why?  Because those darn cones of shame are HORRIBLE!  If I watch them they don't have to wear them and they can actually rest.  

The did really well, although Belle ended up with a nicked spleen, so she is requiring a bit more observation and an additional trip to the vet tomorrow morning to check her blood counts.  They both are eating good and keeping them calm is definitely a full time job.  Thank goodness for "doggie downers".  Trying to keep two incredibly busy puppies calm and stopping them from running is brutal.  I ended up barricading the three of us in a single room.  The sofa and chairs have things stacked on them, not that it's stopped Belle from trying to climb it anyhow, hence the non-stop observation. 

finally got him to lie down... sort of

he decided to melt...

Just got home... exhausted

She needed her daddy, 
he's demonstrating the reason for cones

He stayed like this for 30 minutes,
refusing to move

There are four different beds lying on the floor in this room, they are both snuggled together on a single one. But at least they are resting. I am hoping that all of the repeating of no jumping to our little Belle will finally break her of jumping up.  That would be a huge side bonus.  She is just so excited with life that she cannot make herself be calm. She is our energetic little baby. 

Beau is definitely the family drama king.  He was whining, fussing and basically throwing a tantrum for over an hour last night.  At the two hour mark I told him to suck it up.  He wasn't in pain, not in the least, unless you count the pain of indignation.  He loathes the cone, he will be perfectly fine, the cone is put on so he can go to sleep in his kennel (and mom can go to bed) and he is absolutely dying!  The whine is so high pitched your ears ring add to that the non-stop panting and mounting panic attack.  It is fairly extreme.  I thought he was in deep distress last night, until I realized it was all an attempt to get rid of the cone. 

At one point he'd struggle enough to tighten it, but by then it wasn't too tight, I checked.  In fact at one point he discovered he was able to remove it by pushing it against the kennel.  If I hadn't been so exhausted at that point I would have cracked up, he froze and didn't make eye contact - almost as if he thought if he didn't look at me I wouldn't notice that he'd gotten it 3/4 of the way off. It was so funny.  The look was pure disbelief and amazement coupled with a touch of slyness.  

I get it, I truly do, I would be miserable.  I mean I didn't do so great just sitting in a bed unable to move about. I completely understand. I ordered some inflatable collars last night, they should be here today.  Hopefully they will make sleeping a bit easier for them.  They could barely move in their kennels because of those huge things. 

While my babies rest coneless today, I have to stay within eyesight. They both want to explore their surgery sites, so I will spend the day sitting, resting and probably knitting myself.  Yesterday was crazy.  You would not believe the canning I completed.  The counter tops were covered with mason jars this morning.  Carrots, veggie broth and oven roasted marinara rounded out the items completed.  I opened a can of the carrots to feed the babies this morning and was shocked at how tasty they are, nothing like the canned kind from the grocery store, we will definitely need more of those.  Hubs will not believe how good they are, and when he finds out, I will struggle to keep up.  

Oven Roasted Marinara and Vegetable Broth

did I try too much at once?

I don't have a butter mold,
so this is the best it is

I even made a couple of pounds of butter, as I had way too much heavy cream that I was not going to be able to use by yesterday.  FYI, if you haven't tried it, you definitely should! It was so very easy, although I wasn't prepared for the immense splashing when it crossed from whip cream to butter, and had removed the towel guard prematurely. I opted not to salt it, although I will probably salt the next batch.  Frankly, I'm tired of wasting stuff. I've reached the point if we can't use it all I will either be canning, dehydrating or ... finding another way to preserve it. I am not okay with tossing anything out anymore, have you seen those prices? 

The fence was finished by 3 pm, I need to call the city to have them come and inspect it, but it looks amazing.  I can't wait for the babies to feel good enough to go out and play. I decided to go with eastern cedar, I don't want to have to paint it. I couldn't believe they managed to complete it in less than 6 hours, they were definitely a power team. They were very impressive, the company - not so much!

Now I am finding myself daydreaming about what I can do to put some beautiful plants all around it. My friend gifted me some Rose of Sharon seeds and I am thinking those might be beautiful on the back side of the fence.  Then ones that are currently there are looking like they have definitely hit the end of their days. In fact I was noticing yesterday that one of them looks like it might have finally died over the winter. I also thin I'm going to get Hubs to help me make a raised bed along the one wall, just high enough that two busy puppies don't feel the need to taste test everything and deep enough that I can plant a wide variety of things in it.  It's kind of in a dead zone in the yard that gets lots of wonderful sunshine. 

Oh well, reality is that I probably have a full 7 to 10 days to daydream and plan.  These babies are going to keep mom hopping! It's time to get with it, I'm super sleepy today from lack of sleep last night, thank you drama king, so I need to keep busy...

love and peace..

who's the boss?

It was crazy busy yesterday, keeping up with puppies, visiting with friends, dealing with medical insurance companies, going to a visitation, and puppies first vet appointment. The whole thing was a combination of fun, frustration and just plain exhausting. 

I'm sitting here finally enjoying a cup of coffee, the babies are napping, I have already mopped the floors for the first time today and cleaned my kitchen.  I am sitting here simply enjoying the moment and trying to sort out my game plan for today.  I still need to get downstairs and unquilt the quilt, I simply cannot stay mad at it too much longer - that will not finish it for darn sure. I have several other projects that I am either working on or I am ready to start working on.  I am just struggling with ordering it all out and moving it forward.  I'm in that insane bubble of overwhelm at the moment I think.  Or it could just be that my projects aren't turning out exactly the way I planned and now I am frustrated and ready to throw in the towel - I have a habit of doing that, which is one of the reasons I have set a goal to clean up, organize and finish all of my started projects this year.  They are never quite as frustrating when I stop and reassess. 

It also doesn't help that I got a Cricut Maker 3 for Christmas - with all the goodies to play and haven't gotten to make anything yet.  I want to play!!  Ugghhh... I know first world spoiled wife problems.  But still. 

Our vet didn't bring it up last night, but I have been noticing that Belle is very protective of her brother the past few days.  She was quite upset that he got shots last night and wasn't pleased.  She finally ended up laying on top of him.  That got me doing some research this morning.  I've had litter mates in the past, my mom and several sisters have also. I've never heard of litter mate syndrome, but now that I am aware, I am going to do everything in my power to stop the behaviors before they become more than can be dealt with. I just always assumed those behaviors were are normal part of puppies. 

Which means... walking them separately, kenneling them separately, and most importantly doing training separately.  They have to respect Hubs and I as their Alpha's and they have to bond with us.  All this boils down to more work, but it will also led to better adjusted happy pups.  I have never been so thankful to not work outside the house now. So thankful. It will be better for them if they are not too closely bonded, they deserve the best.  So some quality time on their own is in the forecast. Still time developing the pack, but also a chance for each of them to shine in their own right.  Beau is the easier one, he's laid back and mellow.  Miss Belle, well she is definitely neither of those things.  He's already doing great on a leash, she is furious. It will definitely be a journey.  We'll see how much time I have for writing, I feel more time is going to be needed to help these babies adjust. 

I said I'm not doing this...

There is snow moving in tonight possibly.  So I am going to get all the errands and running taken care of early today. I don't really feel the need to be out in my new car in the crazy.  I never doubt my own abilities, but I definitely question some of the other people when they are out there.  

I feel it's just best to be home and enjoying my babies in their first real snow experience.  At some point I will get myself back in my groove and work on my projects.  My new car needs a powered by bitch dust sign, and I refuse to pay someone else to do what I can do myself.  I also think I just need to make a to do list and start hustling down it.  Once things are organized I am better able to function, I am seriously cleaning out the excesses in the house.  I need space to breath! 

well folks, twiddle dee and twiddle dum have awoken from their rest... time to keep them busy... and get ready to go get a second kennel... puppy life!

love and peace...

sunrises...

This week is flying past, I cannot believe it is already Wednesday.  It's off to a great start, not even going to kid myself about that one.  Puppies slept through the night for the second night in a row.  They outgrew the kennel that is upstairs so they've been sleeping in the big kennel on the main floor.  Unbelievably, they stopped waking up in the middle of the night when that happened.  I'm now debating if I want a second kennel, or will just allow them to stay in this one until they are trained enough to sleep on their beds all night without destroying the house. I could seriously get used to sleeping at least 8 hours again.  I'm just saying it's a really nice feeling. 

I so enjoyed seeing the sunrise instead of the stars when I woke up.  I also prefer to take them outside in the light, they still don't know what a leash is and we do have a few wild critters out back.  So taking them out in the middle of the night is way more anxiety inducing than I am up for in the wee hours.  Add to that, they aren't able to handle the stairs on their own yet, and they are getting a bit big to carry up and down the stairs in the middle of the night.  I am far more stable than I was even a month ago, but I still get a bit nervous.  I can't believe they are 9 weeks old today.  Time is simply flying past. 

Spent this morning taking care of "business" the stuff that happens when you buy a vehicle, almost feeling I should invest in a lottery ticket or something, that's how smooth it all is going.  Called the insurance company and felt the familiar sinking in the stomach that comes with the automated voice telling me my wait would be 20 minutes, only to be listening to my options and trying to decide what to pick and getting a real person in the middle of it.  Twelve full minutes later, I am done!  I needed the mental victory today!

Heck, I wish I could share the victory.  Hubs and I have so many dear family and friends that are struggling hard right now and we would give anything to be able to make things better for them.  Tomorrow night we will go straight from the puppies first vet appointment to a memorial service for a dear friends sister.  I wish I could be there to support my sister this weekend, but I am not sure I could make it happen.  I also don't want to be more of a burden on her. So much hurt in the world right now. 

I have a ton of errands to take care of maybe today, I can't remember where all I need to go to do things like registering my car and getting my plates after I pay the taxes.  Ya know, the "good stuff".  All I remember is that it is a total pain in the bum and you can't do any of it in the same place. Not going to say I am excited about that adventure.  

So weird had no where to be for seven months get a car and there are errands that need ran.  I guess Hubs was spoiling me pretty good after my car died and I had my knee replaced.  Time to start being an equal partner in this relationship again. I have been so grateful for all of his love and support, I firmly believe that is the true measure of love, when you are simply there.  And to the point the other person doesn't have to worry, stress or even realize that they've done it all until you are ready to step back into the game. We are always there for one another.  I am truly blessed and grateful for that. 

FYI - we are not spoiled!

It's time to try to tidy my house again now that the babies are taking another morning nap (they must be growing - they sure nap a lot lately), I have floors to mop, laundry to finish and I am seriously trying to work on decluttering the house (not making much progress, but I am trying).  

love and peace everyone!

intrigue in the wee hours...

Our sweet babies are curled at my feet, not really sleeping, not really awake.  They sleep really great from about 7 pm to 2 am, after they go back to sleep they don't really stay asleep.  Usually we are up by 4 am, they need another potty break and some food.  They are just babies.  Momma is a bit tired, so is Daddy.  I'm sitting here with them, he's down in the man-cave trying to rest a bit longer.  His music is making my eyes heavy, but I can only handle being woken up twice in one night. 

I know this is simply a season, soon they will be able to sleep through the night.  Soon they will outgrow some of things that make me a bit crazy right now.  My floors are cleaner than they have ever been, I mop them multiple times a day - you can guess why. And puppy toys are just as painful as legos when they are hidden in with the carpeting. 

I am leaning into this moment in time.  Because their sweet loving faces and personalities fill my heart with pure love and joy.  I have definitely missed the unquestionable love of a dog. They are so sweet and trusting.  Even ones that have been given reasons to not trust. 

When they woke us up the first time I got wrapped up in reading an article about "Old Christmas" and the Appalachian beliefs and stories.  It was absolutely fascinating and even though my eyes were heavy and shutting I read most of it before drifting back to sleep.  I finished when they woke me the second time.  I am that person that notices when things keep popping up for me, and right now I am wondering why the switch from the Julian calendar to the Gregorian calendar is so prevalent this week.  How have I gone my whole life and never really known about it?  

It seems like almost daily stories are showing up in different ways that draw my attention back to it, to the lost days, to the moving of holidays and simple changes that I was never really aware of. It's truly fascinating.  And now that it is at the forefront of my thoughts, I want to learn even more about it.  There are many different reasons, some semi-make sense, others feel like blatant lies.  To find out there are countries that are on other calendars was a bit of mind blowing information.  I mean, how do you get to the age I am and not realize that. 

I think I first glimpsed a bit of it last year when our son's girlfriend lost her Dad.  She was hurting so much, compounded because evidently he passed on his birthday.  She hadn't known it was his birthday because in her birth country the dates fall differently than here. I was perplexed, but didn't want to ask too many questions while she was hurting so much.  As life moved on, it drifted to the back of my mind and I forgot about it. 

I have always been a huge history nut.  I love visiting the old sites, learning as much as I can about all of it. So I am equally puzzled as to why I am just now learning some of this.  And some of it is making me more curious than ever about things that no longer make sense. 

I had never realized that there are religious faiths that still celebrate Christmas in January - at the time of Old Christmas.  I also have often wondered about things like the 12 days of Christmas and the conflicting thoughts around when it truly is.  When I lived in Greece this non-Catholic learned about Epiphany and thought I understood how all of that ties in.  Now I am even more convinced I understand very little. 

I guess we don't learn things until we are ready to learn them.  I am not sure how deeply I want to dive in and explore this, but I am very intrigued and the more tidbits that come my way the more interested I am. Some how, things seem a bit more twisted than we have been led to believe.  I doubt we will ever know the true story about many things, that they will always be a bit more vague and misty than we will ever know.  Time does that.  I am a naturally curious person, I like to learn and understand. I am learning to accept that there are many things that defy understanding.  Things that linger, forever lost in time. 

Just took the puppies outside for the third time this morning, to discover that it had started to softly snow. Not enough to really matter, but definitely enough to count as the babies first snow. They didn't really know what to think about it, do you eat it, do you avoid it, or just sit in it?  They moved on to simply romping for a few moments, doing their business and then Belle headed to the front step, she wasn't impressed.  Beau was not done trying to explore it when I brought him in.  The 7 degrees had more to do with the brevity than the snow.

Well, Hubs is awake, puppies are back asleep and I need to start thinking about fixing breakfast before he starts his day. 

love and peace... 

bright new day...

The sun is breaking over the horizon.  The first sunrise that we have seen in this new year.  The other two have simply been a soft lightening of the gray sky. Today it's bright, cheery, energizing and promising.  

I have enjoyed this start to the year.  My youngest grand baby has been hanging around (a lot), I'd love to believe it is just to see me and grandpa, but we aren't delusional we are well aware it's the puppies that are drawing her to spend time with us. Hopefully, she is enjoying the tea parties, playing in sand, and doing crafts also.  I am simply celebrating the cuddles I got yesterday before she went home after almost 5 hours hanging out with us. 

We also spent hours enjoying time with dear friends.  It felt wonderful to just enjoy chatting, cooking, laughing, eating and simply being together with people that are important in our lives.  I definitely believe that this is going to be an ongoing thing this year.  Spending time with friends.  Enjoying things that are outside the realm of careers and/or jobs.  

For too long all our time together with any friends was "work" based, talking about work issues, experiences, things... That didn't happen, at all. It was incredible! Most of our friends were met and the friendships developed as a result of work so it was only natural that is where conversations flowed.  I noticed that Hubs and I have richer conversations now that we aren't both deeply engaged in the same work.  It's beautiful. 

I've spent the morning chasing my little terror twins, Beau has been the stinker today.  He's taken off running with the garland from the tree, found a crumb under the chair that was somehow missed, removed the ribbon from the basket that sits by the tree, tried to remove a few ornaments, he's run and played like a little demon.  Of course he crashes faster than his sister.  So while he is so very busy and hard to keep up with for a few moments of time, it is definitely short lived.  

It has definitely cemented my decision to take the tree down today, I normally enjoy it a bit longer, but this year.  The stress is not worth it, I have been collecting ornaments my entire life and have several that are far older than me, I can't replace them or the memories if pups bring it down.  Besides, for the first time in my life, I'm ready to remove it all. I'm ready for fresh and clear.  

One of my focus areas this year is getting rid of excess.  I had planned to go through all of the Christmas boxes and eliminate stuff that I simply don't use.  Puppies have put a different spin on that.  I will wait until summer to go through them and sort and organize it all.  For now, I will just take it all down. 

That sun is deceiving.  I was just outside helping Hubs, the darn latch on the tailgate snapped in the cold again.  It's so annoying and frustrating.  All fairness it is saying a mere 10 degrees outside.  The bed of the truck is loaded with wood from yesterday.  We'd not unloaded so we could enjoy the grand, our friends and be present with the puppies. I could not believe how very cold it is.  Now I am sitting inside, with the "false security" sun shining on me and enjoying the roaring fire my sweet Hubs built to thaw us out.  

Gotta say I am off to a very lazy start this month.  Anyone else? I have things to do, I have projects to finish and ones I want to start.  But this slow, family and friend based time has been healing my weary spirit. I've been moving in slow motion.  I'm not quite ready to get busy, although I feel the energy building.  I feel the desire to step out of this box I have put myself in, I'm just not ready to do it.  I am enjoying slow for a moment longer. 

No matter where you are on your journey... love and peace my friends... 

 

no rest for the weary...

What a busy morning.  Our sweet little boy decided he needed to potty at 4 am, and that was when the fun started today. Hubs is trying to steal some more sleep in the basement, and they finally crashed about 530ish.  I thought about going back to sleep, I truly did, but I was already on my second cup of coffee at that point.  So while they've slept, I made the crackers for tonight's' dinner. 

I can hear that sweet little boy stirring, sister is out like the world has moved on without her, so I am hoping he will snooze a bit longer.  I didn't get around to rearranging the living room like I had planned yesterday, so when they are awake there is absolutely zero rest.  

I'm tired, but I am absolutely loving these little bundles of energy.  They are bringing me joy I hadn't imagined.  Not to mention they are forcing me to move my knee - alot - two hours into the day and I haven't even left the house and already have over 1000 steps.  Rarely do I get a reminder to move anymore. I've got this covered. 

As we are rushing into the last days of the year, I am so thankful for this year.  I know it's an odd statement and it definitely might show a bit of insanity on my part, especially after the way this year has unfolded. So much has happened.  There have been so many things that could have been perceived as horrible or even stopping points.  Yet, they have simply been detours.  I feel like life is forcing me to go the way I was supposed to go. 

I guess if I had looked at all of those road blocks as something horrible, or tried to force myself back onto the path I was on I might view everything differently. I haven't tried to force anything this year.  I've tried to just be still and let things happen, tried to understand the reasoning behind it all and let myself stay peaceful. 

Some of it has been absolutely yuck, it has hurt my heart and made me cry in all honesty.  But as I stood in the kitchen this morning working on the crackers for dinner I felt such gratitude.  I treasure doing for my family and once again I can.  I can take puppies to see the youngest grand-daughter when she calls, I can make a last minute dinner for friends without being stressed.  I am living my life in a place of love, joy and acceptance.  

I am not fighting anything. Except my own human urge to control things.  That is the hardest part.  I am doing my best to understand everything and why it is happening the way it is, but I am also trying even harder to allow it all to happen the way that it is happening.

I struggle with the loses, but mine have been minor compared to others. Early in the year I had a reading in Paducah, I have the worst memory in the world, but I remember that reading.  I remember being told to focus on the flow, to accept things as they happen.  To remember and know that things would be okay, even when it felt like they wouldn't be okay. I was also told that I would either slow down on my own, or the universe would keep slowing me down. This was after I was so sick in January, I evidently didn't listen well, because I sure got slowed down even more. 

I needed to hear that message at that time, I needed to be ready. 

As we wrap up this year, I don't know that the me of a few years back would have been able to handle things.  I think I would have pushed and fought my way through to the forward I believed was for me.  The me that is looking forward to 2022, can see things a bit differently.  It's just a flipping of a calendar, a changing of a time construct made by man.  Things are going to continue the way they are meant to continue. I am focusing more on the seasons and the changes as nature intended them to be.  I am focusing on going with the flow. 

I was just listening to the news with Hubs and the "reporters" were saying that we shouldn't make new years resolutions because we simply won't be able to keep them.  I don't make them, but not for their reasons, in fact their reasons would only encourage me to succeed simply because they said I can't.  I sadly have to agree that focusing on happiness and mindfulness are much better for us.  Again, not for their reasons, but because it is important for our growth and happiness.  And that isn't something that one should wait on, on set a resolution to complete.  I despise the media.  

Well, my sweet babies are awake, chewing happily on their teethers and ready to rumble again - or at least Beau is, Belle is trying to convince him it's snuggle and sleeping time. Will I get to finish tasks or will I supervise the chaos?  Time will tell...  

love and peace...

the real meaning?

Silence has once again been found, Belle has decided that lying quietly in the kennel chewing on her teething bone is not something to be distraught about.  Beau is pretty laid back, so he was okay with it. It's nap time, we've been going strong since 4 am.  Momma needs a break, my coffee is long since ice cold and I had not had enough sleep when they were ready to roll.  My fault, I put them to bed far too early.  My leg was aching yesterday and I was exhausted, so we went to bed early.  Note to self: tough it out moving forward.  Soon that 8 hour restful night will be the norm, not the unexpected surprise. 

I am slowly adjusting to this new lifestyle, the new routine is different, but definitely not bad.  They are so precious and they definitely keep one another entertained.  They also keep my hopping, literally, over puppies, toys, chasing, stopping, redirecting and of course feeding and potty breaks.  I wouldn't change it for the world, although I am considering some barricades in the house to make containment a bit easier while they are still small. 

Yesterday was a brutal reminder that I am still recovering from major surgery and that my poor knee did not have time to rest from our trip, I need to think this through a bit more. It's a learning curve. 

Over this holiday season, the one created by commercialism and the media, I noticed a lot of folks, myself included, making the comment that they could not get into the holiday spirit.  It has really been niggling at my mind and my heart.  The why of it.  

I struggled hard with so much of the "commercialism" and expectations this year. I got lost in the have to's and didn't want to do any of it. It felt forced, it felt unnatural. Yet as the holiday itself rolled around and I lost myself more in the flow of doing what was best for our family, I felt such joy and relaxation about it all.  I can't be the only one.  

I used to be that die hard, programmed person.  The tree goes up the day after Thanksgiving, the house and outside decorations completed and ready. Most of my gifts were bought and ready by the second week of December (wrapping was another story). Cookies, that would often remain uneaten, were baked by the dozens around the work week schedule. If any presents were opened early, it was just like when I was a little girl and it could be one from far away on Christmas eve along with our traditional Christmas eve pajamas.  And Christmas gifts (far too many and most of it unneeded) were opened in the wee hours of Christmas morning. Christmas dinner was prepared, almost a mirror image of the Thanksgiving feast, just slightly smaller.  And then on New Years Day the tree and trimmings came down and a complete cleaning of the house happened. That is simply how it all worked.  

Are the Christmas movies and shows simply to show us what we are supposed to do, because someone will financially benefit from it?  I long for the old holiday movies focused on treating one another good and spreading love and joy. Instead of the over the top productions that create a false sense of failure if you don't reach the benchmarks being set. 

Is that what I thought being in the Christmas spirit was? Slowly this has changed, evolved, and actually improved for us.  The first time my daughter asked us to switch I was mind boggled, I felt a shock to my life long habit.  Not that celebrating Christmas on a different day was a bad thing, the reason was solid.  Not all of her kids would be able to be home for Christmas day.  This year we switched it up again.  We moved it all a day earlier, the youngest was supposed to spend the holiday with her Daddy, but had a cough and stayed home. 

The strange thing about it was that those very changes made the holiday far more special.  We spent time with family in Alabama at the start of the month, opening gifts and enjoying each other.  Then we moved on to celebrating with family in Arkansas over the week before Christmas, again opening gifts and enjoying time together.  With the switch of the traditional day with the girls we also had time to spend with the rest of the family on Christmas day and we've moved on to celebrating with friends as we've moved into this week. The kids have been able to spend the time with more family and friends also, it has eliminated that feeling of not being there for everyone. 

I was so happy to find that useful gifts was a theme.  It wasn't about quantity, it was all about quality and usefulness (although my daughter went way overboard - I also understand her reasoning and I am very excited about her gift - feeling spoiled and like it was too much, but it will completely be used!). Each gift given and received had so much thoughtfulness and purpose behind it. 

Hubs only got me two impractical gifts, at least in the usefulness category, but my heart needed them more than I realized.  These puppies are filling a void I didn't realize I had. 

I guess what I am trying to say, is that breaking out of the traditional constructs of what this holiday has been created to be, has filled me with the true spirit of Christmas.  I have been doing so much research into this time of the year, the many layers that have all combined to create it. I am not finished looking into the history and traditions and I am sure that I will change my thoughts even more moving forward. 

I didn't spend a stupid amount of time decorating and found the most joy in the simplest of decorations.  There aren't a ton of lights, there is just enough to be festive and not overwhelming.  I kept myself true to my word and severely limited the shopping and made a gift for every person.  My heart soared with joy when my girl actually sent me a picture telling me she loved her hat and would take another in gray.  My nephew wore his to work, and families and friends have been sending me pictures of them wearing theirs.  

I didn't bake a stupid amount of cookies and all of them were grain and sugar free.  Since I don't have any left, I will say they were a hit.  I have spent more time with people doing simple things.  Browsing antique shops and thrift stores, searching for treasures, sitting around talking and crafting, watching movies and laughing.  Meals have been far more simple, more about nourishing the body and the heart. 

Is this lack or missing of Christmas spirit, really a reawakening of what it is truly about?  One of my dear friends gave me the greatest gift yesterday, and although I love the beautiful handmade glass ornament delivered in a handmade card,  that wasn't it.  It was the gift of his precious time!  We sat and chatted for just over an hour, sipping a glass of homemade bourbon cream and visiting.  It filled my heart to bursting.

We have plans with friends spread over the next few days, we've moved on to celebrating birthdays now. And the new year will fall in there also.  

This slower, more natural flow feels wonderful. More heart filling.  More joyous.  Maybe, just maybe, people aren't lacking in Christmas spirit, just maybe the lock downs and chaos of the past two years have opened our hearts and minds to what is truly important.  It isn't about shopping, over indulgence, and over the top everything.  Maybe it's about simply being thankful and celebrating all of the people and joy we have in our lives.  It's about simplicity and precious time. 

I have truly loved how this season is unfolding.  Sure I missed seeing my boy and his girl in person, I would have loved a hug, yet somehow, seeing his smiling face as he opened his gifts and enjoyed his coastal holiday filled my heart to over flowing.  He is happy.  Our girls here in town filled our hearts with love and joy just by spending time with them.  And the puppies have lead to massive quality time with our youngest grands. 

I'll be honest I am hoping to keep my tree up through the true twelve days of Christmas, but puppies might dictate otherwise.  I am looking forward to gathering with more of my friends and family.  And I am simply enjoying the calm and peaceful moments that the puppies are allowing. 

Has anyone else discovered these feelings?  I feel like I am finally waking up from an over indulgent, depersonalized day dream, and that reality is so much more beautiful than the fantasy.  

I hope that all of you are enjoying this time, celebrating all of the gifts that life has surrounded you with, finding time to rest, relax, reconnect.  I also hope that you are planning to take those beautiful gifts with you forward into the coming year. 

Time to dash, puppies will be waking soon and I have a few orders to finish.  

love and peace... 

everything changes...

In the wee hours this morning, trying to fall back asleep from the middle of the night puppy potty run, I spent a few moments looking at one of those "the first four words you see" puzzles.  This one was what my focus should be for 2022.  Normally, I don't put much stock in those silly things, writing them off as a trick of the mind.  This morning... crazy accurate!  

Change, connection, gratitude and alignment.  Pretty solid don't you think?

Here it is a few hours later, the puppies have been taken potty, eaten to their hearts content, and are currently playing like the little angelic devils they are. I am trying to find a few short moments to myself before breakfast is ready.  I'm making my first dish in my new air fryer/oven that Hubs got me for Christmas. It smells heavenly, although I am fairly certain, with redirecting sweet babies I am not going to finish typing before it's done. 

Yup, I was right, it's now early afternoon.  The pups and Hubs are sleeping while I fix lunch.  Since it is quiet, I am taking advantage of the moment. The peace is wonderful.  But then, so are the puppy kisses!

After a fun filled trip south we came home to the first of my Christmas surprises.  My sweet Hubs conspired with one of my dearest friends to bring me these two sweet babies.  Hubs told me no when I initially showed him the pictures.  So I moved on and started thinking that we would get a couple of puppies in a few months, maybe around springtime or so.  I fell in love with the 7 month old little white guy, but figured it was okay, there are other little ones that will steal my heart. 

Hubs has wanted baby puppies forever, so he definitely jumped in with both feet when he saw babies!  The family didn't want to part with the older puppy is my understanding, and Hubs took full advantage to have a pair of littles.  

They are adorable!  They have completely stolen my heart!  But boy oh boy is this a huge adjustment! The rhythm and flow of my world is 100% different, totally different world.  I have had puppies twice in the past 20 years, unfortunately, we lost both of them young.  It tore my heart into a million tiny bits and pieces. So I am probably being an obsessive puppy mom, but I do not want to tragically every lose a fur baby again. These two, are definitely going to keep me hopping.  

I was so excited to get five full hours of sleep before I got woken up for a potty break, that I actually woke up wondering why, fearful that something was wrong in the silence. I was the same way with my human babies too, but I was a lot younger back then.  Heck, my baby is going to be 31 in a few short weeks. It was a short moment in time before they started calling to go outside.  

I'm not the only one smitten with these little furry dynamos.  Our youngest grand, called me joyously to tell me Santa had been at her house and that we needed to hurry and come open presents.  Oh yeah, and bring the puppies!  In fact when she is home, that is pretty much the call of the day. 

I fear that I will not be writing much, although my plan was to shoot for every day in 2022.  These little ones definitely need constant attention. I am even learning to value a kennel, although I never did before.  

Well... I need to get a few things done before the babies wake up and need potty break, food and play in that order before passing out again. 

love and peace...