Dragon Time...

There is quite a storm brewing.  The winds are pushing heavy clouds full of fury and moisture our direction.  I'm not sad.  We truly need the rains, despite the snowy winter, it actually pushed us into drought conditions.  The ground is parched, grasses are struggling, the spring plants are struggling to make their debut.  

I kind of feel like I've got a bit of a storm brewing myself.  I've been struggling to break bad habits that I have fallen into, I'm not doing so great.  Everywhere I turn I have half finished projects.  I have household tasks that need completed, yet I find myself struggling to stay on task. 

I've always been that way.  I get hyper focused on something for a window of time and then squirrel... I'm off on another quest. For example, I have wanted to start a sour dough again, the health benefits beckon me, yet, I know me... it will die, because I cannot stay focused. 

I stay hyper focused on my pups and Hubs health, and let my own just slide off into the abyss.  Until I get sick or have a moment when my body reminds me that I am also only human and the same rules apply to me. 

Yep, it's what it looks like...
why? Because we could...

She stole it from Beau 

I try desperately to ignore my social media accounts, I can lose days once I pause for a moment.  I find that it is sucking my time and my life. I pop in to look for learning opportunities on foods, gardens, quilting, crochet, knitting, canning... okay you get the idea right... before I know it, I've lost a full day looking at other folks magic and wondering why I didn't get my own magic made. 

I'm trying. 

Yesterday, I went up to sew, I'm still working on Hubs quilt. Although, I have managed to acquire 6 more projects I have decided to complete this year, on top of the ones I want to finish for myself (see what I mean).  I just sat there smiling.  My sewing table was still cluttered with the remains of the Dragon's visit this weekend. 

She is so unbelievably creative, her mind is always full of ideas and plans.  We spent time in my sewing studio, she wanted to learn to use the sewing machine.  And learn she did.  She's only 8, it was the first time she got brave enough to try and in less than 30 minutes she managed to sew an almost perfect 1/4" seam.  She'd dug through the scrap bucket and discovered some fabric that made her smile, the first one she did was with plain muslin fabric, she wanted to be sure she knew what she was doing before using the cute fox fabric.  We didn't have much time, we were heading to MADE to glaze her pottery bowls that she had made last month, back when she was only 7, but she was determined.  

She made the cutest little pillow and was ready for more.  Gramma promised after MADE we'd do a bit more before she headed home.  When will I learn?  MADE is never a short stay, we easily spend 3 or 4 hours there, and the storm that blew through guaranteed she would have lots of time as none of us wanted to go out into that windy, rainy mess!

So even though we planned to have her home relatively early, we didn't. Because no trip to MADE is complete without a stop by her favorite ice cream shop for a flight of mini ice cream cones.  Upon arriving home, we simply had to sew the bigger pillow.  Barbie would be so disappointed if we didn't come home with it. 

You know how it ended of course.  We sat and she sewed.  

I cherish those moments.  I love that inquisitive always learning mind of hers.  I love sharing the things that I fill my days with, the skills that I get to pass on. I cherish it all!

We also had the chance to spend Sunday morning exploring the Endangered Wolf Center with her Brownie troop.  The night before while she and I were putting all of her patches on her vest I pulled out my old (I'm fairly certain it now qualifies as an antique) brownie uniform.  To put it mildly, she couldn't believe that Gramma was ever a little girl and she was unbelievably thankful that the uniform was no longer a dress. As we walked together looking a the sights and sounds that surrounded us, dealing with the occasional drizzles of rain, we plotted our gardens.  

She was less impressed with the center than I expected. That probably has more to do with the fact that over spring break she was at a wild life rescue and had actually held and pet several of the wolves that we were now only seeing behind massive fences and/or glass.  This girl experiences so many things, no wonder school bores her a bit. 

Instead of ohhing and ahhing over the various wolf families, she was more concerned with whether she should plant pumpkins or watermelons in her garden patch this year, and which ones she was going to plant in my garden.  I am fairly certain I am going to be the grower of her watermelon patch this year.

The things a cutie can sweet talk
Gramps into

what a collection of 3D printed critters

either she is a tall 8 year old,
or I am a short gramma...
probably both

Gramps and I cherish the days we get to steal her away.  We love spending hours on end lost in her world.  We end up a bit tired, keeping up with an energetic 8 year old is a lot when you aren't used to it.  She worked at the craft show with me on Saturday night and asked if she could create some things for the next show.  

She also tried desperately to talk me into buying a 3D printer so that she could make things with it.  She didn't quite understand that Gramma's brain does not grasp that kind of technology, as she gently assured me that she could figure it out and would make it work.  

Dragon time is some of the greatest time in the world.  It fills me with hope for the future, joy in small things and fills my life with so many blessings.  

She is one of the reasons that I am trying to finally get my world together.  There is so much to share with her while she is still young and thirsty to learn.  When she arrives, electronics get slid away, the old school things come of out hiding.  The hands on world takes over. 

That is completely my happy place. Speaking of happy places, I have things on the to do list that I need to accomplish, I am trying very hard to reorganize my life, to stop being scattered and overwhelmed.  So... time to get with it... I have lots on items on my list that need to be finished before the next Dragon day arrives. 

love and peace... and if you are in the paths of the storms... stay safe!

B

making memories...

I should be heading upstairs to my sewing room, I'm a touch behind, but the fire is so comforting and it's zapping the chill out of the air.  Hot coffee, cookies that the youngest made and a warm fire.  Perfect way to deal with bitter wind chills and negative temperatures. I am fairly certain I have never felt it this cold here in the mid-west.  These are temperatures that usually happen far north of here.  I was shocked to see -6° as this mornings actual temp.  I piled towels in front of the door thresholds last night, the cold was simply unreal as the wind whipped around. It might be cold out there, but at least we will have a bit of a white Christmas.  It was too cold for much accumulation yesterday, but this snow loving fool will gladly take whatever bit decides to fall. 

I hit a pause button yesterday.  On Wednesday night, I got a text asking if my littlest dragon could hang out for a bit, she was frustrated and just didn't want to be home or do the things mom needed to do. Hubs and I immediately said yep and put our wine back in the fridge.  We were up for any time with the little bit, she's very attached to her mom and rarely wants to do anything that takes her away from mom. 

Initially, she pushed back and didn't want to come hang out when she realized mom was not going to be joining us.  Miracles of miracles, she not only joined us, she stayed the night and all day yesterday.  We spent more than 24 wonderful hours together.  

I'd been feel a bit gloomy where the holidays were concerned.  Too many Christmases without kiddos, just felt a little blah. I had been busy making the best of it, but still feeling a bit glum the closer we got to the actual day.  We usually do Christmas PJ's on Christmas eve, this will be the first time we don't.  In fact I think we've decided to simply let that tradition die, we are all fussy about what we sleep in and none of us needs another pair of pj's.  EVER! It sort of felt like the last of the traditions I had grown up with falling away. 

The little dragon, renewed my spirit and filled my heart with boundless joy.  The first thing she asked was if we would take her shopping for her mom.  Christmas was sneaking up fast and she hadn't been shopping for her mom at all.  We spent a bit of time letting her pick out whatever she felt Mom needed, oh my was it great.  She had to have a card and pretty gift bag, even though she also insisted on wrapping every single present separately. She gave up going to look at Christmas lights, because she wanted to come home and wrap her gifts and write a letter.  

The pride on her little 5 year old face at picking, wrapping and packaging a gift for her mom, was so radiant and full of love. Things get tough for kids sometimes, and she is so smart and precocious that we all sometimes forget that she is truly just 5 years old.  She's tall for her age to top it off, so it is an easy step to forgetfulness. 

As we snuggled up for a few moments before she drifted to sleep, still insisting that maybe she shouldn't spend the night (mom really needed time to wrap gifts and get ready to leave today) we talked about all kinds of things that are important to a child.  As I stroked her little forehead and listened she shared with me how hard she is trying to be good at school and how difficult it is.  I'm sure a lot of it is boredom, she's so advanced that kindergarten is leaving her too much time to fill under strict guidelines.  Her mom was the same way, although she truly doesn't remember that part of it all. 

Yes I took the candy cane away before sleep...

All too quickly she was sound asleep, snuggled into the quilts and pillows like a little angel resting on clouds.  She is an intense child, I treasure that about her.  I don't find her to be too much.  I sat and watched her for a few moments before heading off to bed. Cherishing those precious moments, thanking God for the blessing of time with her that I had received. 

Somewhere around 4:30 am, a little angel with a head full of unruly curls stood beside me, "gramma, I had a bad dream will you come snuggle me in my bed?" One does not decline such a sweet request.  As we walked back to her bed I was silently wondering if that meant we were up for the day, praying that we weren't as I was still so very tired, bracing myself for the possibility at the same time.  

Within moments, snuggled up in my arms that sweet angel was fast asleep.  I laid there and drifted in and out of sleep for another two hours, amazed and blessed that she was snuggled up safe in my arms.  She isn't a child that is super comfortable with being cuddled, in fact she will often tell you that she is very uncomfortable with even a hug.  The blessings just kept piling up.  

While she slept for another few hours, I got the kitchen ready for cookie backing, I had promised her.  It's been so very long since I've made Christmas cookies and even longer since I've made cutout cookies.  That is all she wanted to do.  There was flour and cookie cutters everywhere she had a bit of help from both myself and grandpa.  My recipe doesn't have any eggs in it, so she was able to happily much away at the scraps as she used the few cutters that gramma still had in addition to her own that she'd brought with her. 

Grampa let her pick where she wanted to do lunch, McDonald's it was (YUCK), she bundled up and helped Grampa run the snow blower for a bit, before the lure of the fresh snow was too much for her and she had to make snow angels. 

The three of us decided to pick up a load of wood, after realizing that the truck needed some weight in it to keep from sliding and we all decided we needed a fire after finding out how bitterly cold it had become. 

Over the course of the day we decorated cookies (although I think she ate most of the icing and decorations), she munched on fresh made jerky and helped me seal it all in food saver bags (that kiddo figured it out instantly and while I stuffed bags she processed them), we did hours worth of arts and crafts and messes abounded. 

I think my heart almost burst with pure joy when she told me she felt bad that mom was at home doing chores but she was having a great time and wanted to stay.  I was blessed to wear the necklaces that she made me (I hope you like this gramma, I tried very hard to do my very best!).  Oh yes sweet angel, I love them and will cherish them always.  And my green paper elf hat is absolutely perfect!

While grampa was at work helping one of his team shovel walks, she helped me fix dinner.  I had been worried that she wouldn't like ham and beans, ends up being one of her absolutely favorite meals. It wasn't until late in the evening, when I suggested that she could stay again, that it dawned on her that she'd been with us for more than 24 hours.  As she started gathering her things, that sweet little dragon told me that she would really, really love to stay, but she had things to do at home and it was time to go.  

I'm pretty sure she thought I wouldn't take her, because she woke her snoozing grampa up and asked him to please drive her home.  Poor guy.  We loaded up Grampa's truck and returned her to her much calmer and more relaxed momma, complete with a promise of more play dates when she comes back from her trip. 

She is a fire filled little dragon, she is full of energy, excitement and a zest for life that knows no limits. If you blink for a moment she transforms into a sensitive, caring, empathetic and intensely intuitive angel.  The perfect mix. 

I didn't know how deeply I needed that time with her.  Driving home last night, with the snow swirling around me, basking in the Christmas lights all around, I sort of felt like a character in a sappy Hallmark Christmas movie.  Ya know that moment when they realize their greatest gift had just been given to them.

The traditions are wonky and out of order. Finding bits of icing all over the kitchen island and the floor while cleaning up the dragon "glitter" (not messes) from every room, filled me with hope and promise.  It healed my heart.  

last time I baked Christmas cookies... it's the OG
from 11 years ago...(same age as her little sister)

The spirit of Christmas showed up disguised as a little impish dragon with a head full of unruly curls and fire in her eyes.  

I'm definitely counting my blessings on this day before the night before Christmas.  And even more thankful that our Christmas season will stretch into the new year. 

The fire has almost burned out and it's time to get busy.  I have a few things to finish yet before I sit down and relax.  

love and prayers... and Christmas miracles to each of you...

what matters most...

Belief.  Do you experience moments when you simply don't know what or who to believe? I live in that bubble often.  News is not something I can believe at all anymore. I am truly becoming a question everything kind of person as more and more the world feels surreal and made up like a bad television show. I often find myself questioning why.  Things seem so random and out of sequence, without rhythm and rhyme. 

That was the start to my blog yesterday, I was seriously on the struggle bus as you can tell.  Instead of finishing, or even deleting, I decided to stop and walk away from it. I filled my icy day yesterday with life.  I turned of the media, stepped away from social media and had a blessed day celebrating my youngest grand child.  I helped her prep for her big day, I mean 5 is a pretty power filled age you know.  Moving from being a preschooler into the exulted age of kindergartner. She is ready to take on the world.  Watching her adjust her tiara and fix her hair and "make-up" she was stepping from four to 15 in moments. 

The weather slowed down the events of the day, moving them to today.  So she will get to celebrate twice, well three times actually as she will head to her fathers this afternoon.  The pups are ready in their party finest to go and visit her and all her friends at school.  

They are all so excited that there is going to be puppy time. My fingers are definitely crossed that my little bundles of energy that haven't had a proper walk in about 36 hours are going to be sweet and calm.  Not incredibly full of confidence, but we will give it a shot. 

My daughter's world got mixed up a bit as one of their kitties had to have "minor surgery" yesterday that turned into "major surgery" which led to trips to a special pharmacy to get medications and a kitty that is going to need to be watched over for months.  I was so very thankful for my new life, because I was able to step into the void for her.  While she dealt with adulting, I was able to be there to bake cupcakes and prep the dinner party she threw for our little "adult".  

We didn't know how many folks would make it, the roads were okay, but with weather like that you simply never know.  Both of her older brothers made it, which filled her heart to brimming.  They had substantial drives and we weren't sure the weather was going to good enough for them.  I sort of choked when she'd told me early in the day that she really hoped there were a lot of people at her party.  I was worried that it wouldn't happen, but it did.  

The house was brimming with happy people.  All intent on making that five year old's birthday one to remember.  Her teacher was there, her favorite neighbors and friends, my heart was full and happy to see her laughing and smiling.  To hear the heart felt thank you's for every gift she received.  Her eyes lit up like Christmas when she realized that her teacher had even come for her party. 

As I filled my life with those things yesterday, I was able to step outside of the movie that the world is putting on for us.  That's how it feels, like a badly scripted movie.  I am not convinced that what we are seeing on the news is accurate.  It feels too ironic.  I mean we are just coming out of a "pandemic", even Gates is saying it's over - the harbinger of doom... and almost instantly we are being drawn visually into yet another drama?  Why?  What is the reason?  I question the timing, countries can go straight from locking their citizens down to every one having disputes?  I mean I guess if you have folks locked down for long periods they can get a little loopy... but this just doesn't make any sense when you look at it critically.  But then neither did the "pandemic". 

It was a wonderful full day yesterday, filled with quality family time, love, joy and happiness.  I expect today will be similar.  In about an hour the Pups and I will head to the grands school.  After that, I have a pretty full day of creating and spending time with my puppies. 

I made a batch of hand lotion for myself and a friend yesterday - I am in love with it, if I stay in love with it, I might make a few jars up for sale, we'll see.  Even Hubs liked it. I also picked up the few odds and ends I needed to make a few random projects and I have a crochet project to complete today.  I'm still working on "that" sweater and might even head downstairs and work on unquilting that quilt.  That will depend on Hubs work schedule. 

I am choosing to stay outside of the media circus, I am choosing to stay informed (not from the mainstream media) but to stay out of things that simply do not involve me.  I am choosing to be prepared for anything that results from the chaos that is being created (again it's all too convenient - massive inflation was already happening and now there's a war? Please!) by making sure that I have the things I need, maybe I won't be traveling so much for a minute in time.  Maybe we don't have all the things we feel we want.  Doesn't matter.  

What matters is that my family is well cared for and loved.  That I take the time to do things with my family, friends, and neighbors.  That we look out for one another.  Like yesterday, when the ice rain finally stopped and it was deep enough to need to be dealt with, sweet Hubs went out with his snow blower and took care of our walk/drive and several of our neighbors, then he headed over to our girls and did hers.  He didn't have to, he did it because caring for others is what you should do. 

This bubble is kind of my sweet space.  I love that it can grow to accommodate everyone that wants to be part of it, yet is strong enough to keep hearts safe and love growing. 

love and peace...