Wednesday, December 31, 2014

Farewell 2014...

As the hours tick past, I would love to say that I will miss you 2014, but I can't.  You have been a year wrought with far too many extreme highs and extreme lows.  You showed a total lack of restraint, middle ground - a chance to catch one's breath was something you decided simply didn't need to happen.

It should have been an omen when you started out the year by basically stranding many in their homes and hindering others ability to even get to work.  You sure threw one heck of a temper tantrum a year ago. I was barely able to catch my breath from my youngest moving clear across the country - in case you didn't realize for a mom that had never had that much distance between her and her youngest that in and of itself was brutal.

In typical fashion you showed total disregard for my feelings when you decided I needed an even bigger distraction and tried to destroy my Y.  Never in my life have I seen that much water inside a building completely free flowing and raining down.  

Yeah, you have been quite the pain this year, right from the start.

I did appreciate the break you gave me in March when my grand baby and I got to fly to the coast to bask in the sunshine, play at the beach and enjoy some serious time with the boy.  And don't get me wrong, we truly appreciated all the beauty and the mega pod of dolphins - well that was a stroke of sheer genius.  The laughter and good times with the boy... priceless.  The time with my mini me... again priceless. Could have lived without the long distance drama in the middle of the week, but I have learned that you simply didn't care, you were intent on keeping us all on our toes.

Still reveling in the memories of the ocean and the boy, you decided I needed a ten week cold. Okay, lets be more specific Whooping Cough.  Seriously?  Is that how you felt I should spend my spring and early summer? That was also about the time that you started messing with Hubby's hip.  Yes, you truly felt you were a humorous little terrorist didn't you?

And just in case we were feeling a bit low, worn and beat up, you decided to switch gears yet again. Because in May came the news that we would be moving. The daughter was tired of us being so far apart and a change was going to happen.  A BIG change!

You threw another monkey wrench into the mix when in early summer we lost our Zorro, suddenly and heart wrenching.  I held him gently as he left us, it still brings tears to my eyes.

The week before we got the keys, another big exciting event occurred, I was asked to accompany a great group of kids to South America, Brasil to be exact. I had barely recovered from the whooping cough and I was traipsing off to another hemisphere.  Leaving the summer heat of the Midwest for the winter cold of southern Brasil.  I wouldn't have traded that experience for anything, nothing at all.  It was one of the things on my bucket list, those kids were amazing, the other chaperon was the perfect travel companion and someone I truly enjoy! The experience made me a better person, and gave me insights that I feel I really needed in my life.

Knowing that Hubby was struggling at home as his hip was progressively getting worse, but we didn't know why, that was not such a great thing. It made me sick with worry.

After arriving home and celebrating birthday's and working on moving you struck the cruelest blow of all. Just as we were struggling to finally complete a move, dealing with the Hubby's worsening hip problem and balancing out life, trying so hard to make it solid and complete you decided it was time's up for my son in law. Oh, he and I had our ups and downs in almost 11 years I had wanted to strangle him as much as I wanted to call him family.  He was a hard man to love unconditionally.  He really made you work at it.  He was one stubborn fool.  Who's greatest gift was that he loved his family.  He wasn't good at it, Lord knows there were times you shook your head in wonder.  But "it is what it is"... and he loved them.  It was sudden, swift, and brutal.  No time to even be prepared.

I wasn't sure what the next phase of life would be like.  I didn't know how to support my girl and the grands. I just knew I had to. At the same time that all of this was happening the Hubs was rapidly getting worse. We weren't prepared for the news in early November, that the pain in his hip wasn't because of a bulging disk or two and it wasn't because of a pinched nerve or any of the other things they had thought.  Nope, it was arthritis and it was so chewing his hip up so badly and quickly that before Thanksgiving he would have a total hip replacement.

This has been a huge learning curve.  Hubs is recovering and I haven't collapsed from exhaustion yet.

You've finished out this year on an upswing, and I will give you that.  The boy is home, we've been blessed to enjoy some wonderful time with him.  Hubby is healing, not as quickly as he'd like, but healing he is.  I have been blessed to have many early morning conversations with my mini-me.  She knows I'll be up.  She's so funny.

In an odd sort of way you pieced together my daughters family.  Bringing her boys back home to her. The fears of a sad Christmas were softened, those kids are amazing! Their Dad's memory was celebrated, his loss was felt.  The joy of those kids brightened everyone!

Ignoring my efforts to get a picture...
I guess as you leave, I will miss you.  For all your extremes you have brought much love, happiness and lessons needing learned.  But please, as you leave, go kindly... let 2015 enter fresh and full of wonder...

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