6:15 am, wide awake!
The soft melodic ring tone I have assigned to my daughter went off. Years ago, when she was in a place far less stable than now, I conditioned myself to be wide awake the minute the phone rang and it was her. I have a picture assigned to her so even if my brain hasn't registered the ring, I can see it is her.
Even though I have no reason to be in terror anymore, I can't break the habit. That phone rings, honestly for either of my kids, in the middle of the night (their night not necessarily mine) I am awake and functioning.
This morning was no exception. I'd been up late last night. Enjoying some quality time with my boy. We are watching the entire House of Cards series, trying to be up to date for the next season. I was working on a gift and simply enjoying being with him. This vacation has soothed my soul so much.
At 6:15 am when that phone rang to life, I came wide awake. Now my fears are more that something has happened to one of the cats or the kids are sick. I don't worry that she is in danger anymore. That is a legacy that I am glad is far behind us.
At 6:15 am as I said good morning sweetie, the softest, sweetest little voice said "good morning Gramma! I didn't wake you did I?" That little voice, was more than enough for me to whisper the little white lie... "not at all sweetie! I was just laying here stretching"... She knows that Gramma and Grampa are usually wide awake and moving around by 5 am, she knows that she can always call us.
She was the only one awake at home, seems she'd gone to bed super early and was wide awake and lonely. Just like she'd been on Christmas day. She knew she could call us. After her and I spoke she was hopeful that she could talk to Grampa, I hadn't heard him stir yet, so I wasn't sure.
As soon as the words left my mouth, I heard his deep morning voice say put her on speaker. She and her Grampa chatted away while I brushed my teeth and washed my face, I knew I was not going back to sleep. Which was confirmed when I heard Grampa say "why don't we come pick you up"... yep we were going to snatch us some grand baby time!
Gramps loves him some angel face, enough that he even got up to go with me. Now I could have gone and been back before he was out of bed and dressed, but I waited. Just as I was finishing getting dressed the phone rang again...
Had we forgotten her? Definitely not! I was just waiting on Grampa. The excitement in her voice was all I needed. I told her to leave a note for mom, I would never want her to wake up and not find her baby. And to watch out the door for us.
Scraping the ice off the windows, warming the car and getting ready to go seemed to take forever. After all a princess was waiting for us! And waiting for us she was, outside in the cold, bundled up in her ugg boots and heavy winter coat just like a baby eskimo waiting for us.
She and I took the boys for a walk before starting breakfast. It's so much fun incredible to have time to walk and talk with her. Just to hear how she sees the world is rewarding.
She was hungry when we arrived back home. And of course we had to have reindeer pancakes and bacon. She sipped her marshmallow topped hot chocolate, while Gramma and Grampa savored the warmth of our coffee. Gramma cooked while they worked on coloring the picture that Uncle gave Grampa for Christmas.
Since her Daddy has been gone, I have watched a close bond between her and Grampa become as strong and unbreakable as anything I have ever seen. She was always Gramma's girl, and she still is, but I definitely take a back seat if Grampa is in the house.
Those two are inseparable. After breakfast they hobbled down to the man cave, I think we should rename it, to watch a variety of music, cartoons and who knows what else on the television and computer. I can hear their laughter and chatter up the stairs.
These kind of mornings are priceless. I can always take a nap, I cannot ever recapture these precious moments with our baby girl. I don't believe you can spoil a child by giving them unconditional love and attention. I refuse to subscribe to that nonsense. Surely a child can be spoiled, but love has never been the ingredient that caused it.
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