Showing posts from March, 2015

one step at a time...

The soft blue sky of early spring, when it's slightly muted by hazy clouds.  A gentle breeze blowing my wind chimes.  And what feels like hundreds of birds all calling to their mates and warning others away from the spots they've declared their own.

The trees are all starting to get that soft haze of color.  The kind of pale greens and reds that make you squint, not sure if they are thinking of blooming or not.  And my hyacinths that I splurged on last payday when I needed some spring time and happiness are considering blooming.

It looks like spring is peeking around the corner, I guess it heard that it's officially spring time and it is definitely time to usher old man winter out the door.

It seems to be ushering the gloom out of our home and hubby's health too.  He's been on two different antibiotics for four days now.  And... I refuse to get my hopes up, but...

His color is returning, and he hasn't slept the day away.  This is such a positive and hopeful si…

it's been soooo long....

It seems like it's been a year since I've had a minute to sit, to reflect and to write.  I am so sorry.

Life has been on a crash course with itself.  Minutes have become precious and are spent very carefully. Between it being the most busy time of year at work and trying to keep up with the house, the majority of my time has been spent trying to nurse hubby back to health.

It's quiet right now.
He's in the drug induced sleep that he spends most of his days and nights in right now.  We've had two stays in the hospital, a second surgery scheduled, planned and cancelled all in a day. It's been a bit since he's left the bedroom, must less the bed. The top of his night stand looks like a pharmaceutical nightmare (something a medication-phobe like me has a lot of trouble with).

And basically it seems we are simply waiting.  He is waiting in extreme pain, barely able to walk.  Not because his leg won't hold him, it's solid, it's strong.  Because the p…

My Dearest Friend... I didn't want...

Flipping through posts on Facebook last night bored silly.

I am spending the weekend pretty much tied to my sofa, stupid knee.

And there it was.

It wasn't a beautiful picture, it wasn't flashy.  Honestly it was sort of common place and ordinary.  Just another silly meme that runs around the web.

Yet it opened a window.  And once opened it became flood gates, that had been thrown wide open.  It was another of those times when I feel that things happen for a reason.  Sort of like that person being in my life at all.  Ever!

Those that know me well, know that I am not an overly inviting person.  If I truly let you in, it is because I feel safe, I feel love both for you and from you, and I have decided that I can trust you to do no harm to me. That number is very small.  It is probably my military up bringing.  Too many times too many people left, never to return.  That was the days before the internet and being pen pals never lasted for long.

And today, I want to fully answer t…

life is what is woven in...

It's quiet.

I decided against television or music.  The dryer is running and I can hear the cycling of the gas oven.  Dinner is cooking, I decided on a nice soup and some biscuits.

Sipping on a glass of wine and thinking about all the blessings in my life.

Hubby is still in the hospital, it's the right place for him right this minute. Tomorrow we will face new decisions and plans.  Hopefully, they will all lead us to the place we need to be.

But sitting here in the silence, the deep quiet that comes when the world is blanketed in snow (which by the way is welcome to leave... it is March now!), I feel peaceful.

My weekend was filled with love and smiles.  Even when I wasn't anticipating them.  I spent most of the weekend with my sweet little mini-me.  She must have felt that Gramma needed some quality time. We watched Nick, she worked on making her first hat on her knitting loom, she painted, and we visited with Grampa.  The important things in life.

Our new neighbors have…

After the snow fall...

There is a soft blowing sound from the fan, occasionally some unlucky tech goes down the hall with the squeaky wheeled vital's cart.  The news is running in the background and Hubby's soft steady breathing is keeping me company.

Still no answers, still just the non-stop we are looking for a cause. I'm still sitting in the horribly uncomfortable wooden chair.  Hubs in the "old" part of the hospital.  By old I am guessing all the stuff in the room is ancient and may or may not work.  Sadly, this wooden chair is much more comfortable than the darn "recliner" that may or may not move depending on it's mood.

I am moving as quietly as I can so as not to disrupt his rest, he had a really bad night and slept little because of pain.  I will probably head home soon.  I can't do much other than be here to keep him company. I was hopeful the doctor would come I would like to know what tomorrow's plan is.

They are fairly certain he needs a shot in one of…