After the snow fall...


There is a soft blowing sound from the fan, occasionally some unlucky tech goes down the hall with the squeaky wheeled vital's cart.  The news is running in the background and Hubby's soft steady breathing is keeping me company.

Still no answers, still just the non-stop we are looking for a cause. I'm still sitting in the horribly uncomfortable wooden chair.  Hubs in the "old" part of the hospital.  By old I am guessing all the stuff in the room is ancient and may or may not work.  Sadly, this wooden chair is much more comfortable than the darn "recliner" that may or may not move depending on it's mood.

I am moving as quietly as I can so as not to disrupt his rest, he had a really bad night and slept little because of pain.  I will probably head home soon.  I can't do much other than be here to keep him company. I was hopeful the doctor would come I would like to know what tomorrow's plan is.

They are fairly certain he needs a shot in one of his muscles, that may or may not be torn or detached.  Unfortunately the insurance company wants it administered outpatient, it's cheaper that way. I would completely be lying if I said this didn't concern me greatly.  That I didn't have a million questions connected to this plan, and unfortunately no answers come with it.

Every few hours they come in, they give him medications to control his pain, medication that I cannot get at Walgreen's.  So how do they expect me to care for him when I take him home?

The more I deal with the medical field and insurance, the less sure I am that any solutions are easy.  I feel more strongly than ever that all the changes in recent years have done nothing but create more challenges and problems than existed before.

The nurse just came in, they will have no more information for me until tomorrow.  I am not sure why I am surprised....

This stress is wearing me down, way down... I am finding it harder and harder to stay cheerful, up beat and supportive to everyone.  This is not a normal way of living for either of us, and it's insane.

I will say the nurses, techs and the Hospitalist have been wonderful!  Even being so kind to our grand baby when she was here cheering up Grandpa.

The snow's stopped falling, but in this hospital room the silence still pervades the senses.  It's dark and dreary... I can't wait for this phase of our lives to be behind us...

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