Saturday, June 13, 2015

to do's...

The reason for my smiles....
Listening to the sound to the pressure washer on the siding makes me thankful today.  Hubs is out there trying to beat the heat and also taking advantage of the pain medicine that he's become so dependent on just for a semi-painless day.  Okay who am I kidding just to barely function.

We are both critically aware that we have three weekends to try to accomplish some of the items on our overwhelming to do list.  Too much of it requires both of us, and we are rapidly running out of time for that to happen.

We've been pushing things aside, trying so hard to wait it out.  We are almost at a full year in this beautiful home, and we still have boxes outside waiting to be emptied.  Furniture needing finished and we aren't even going to think about all the other odds and ends that need our attention.

Hubs is trying so hard to help me, and it's tearing at my heart.  I am thankful for the help.  I have desperately needed it.  My own stress level has been getting so out of whack, envy and jealousy have been rearing their ugly heads.  I know he physically can't help, I know it is ripping his heart out to not be able to.  And yet, my desperation is making me feel like an ugly person inside.

I am tired.

Weary to the core is more like it.

And it isn't anyone's fault.  Making me feel even uglier.

This weekend is going to be full of chores.  I am working on laundry (if I can get my new washer to cooperate - how can an empty cycle be unbalanced?) I've got most of my kitchen chores done and I am getting ready to vacuum and mop.  

Ever feel like you are simply running behind.  Perpetually?

As we both know what is facing us, as we are both fully aware of how we will spend this summer, we are also trying to squeeze some fun in also.

Hubs isn't looking forward to going backwards.  He doesn't want to start at the beginning again.  I get it entirely.  I also understand how his heart is feeling.  He's a loving, caring provider.  He hates not being able to be a full participant. I know it's eating at him.  I've felt that way many times in my life.

He and I make an incredible team.  We are the opposite pieces of each others puzzles.  I am so blessed...

What is everyone else up to this hot, humid June weekend?