The past two days I was bone weary, I just didn't want to do anything. Today, with the sun shining and loads of energy, I have been busy in the gardens. Harvesting not only beautiful ripe vegetables, but the seeds that will provide the next seasons bounty. If you've never harvested radish seeds, it's quite a time consuming experience. And I admit, I am very thankful to be finished for the season. This year didn't provide as many seeds as last, but it provided more radishes, give and take right?
I'm feeling a strange sense of detachment and peace all rolled into one. I am spending time with people that fill my bucket and I pray I am filling theirs as well. Hours have vanished in silence while painting, quilting and just living a creative life. Time has been so fluid.
As I am moving into this final chapter of my life, because lets be real, when you turn 60, there are definitely far more years behind you than there are ahead of you, I feel peace.
It's strange. I love my life, I am blessed to have a husband that provides me the ability to chase my dreams, garden and care for him, my home, my pups and the family as a whole. I am not forced to choose between a career that I loathed and a family I love. I never wanted a career at least not a conventional one. I have forever wanted to be just what I am a homemaker.
At the moment I'm waiting for the final section of the yard to have it's morning drink and then I will head up to my sewing studio. I have a list of projects that I am intent on finishing this year. Or at least making a big dent in. My creative eyes might be stronger than my actual ones.
I'm starting off this year dealing with a challenge in my vision, a challenge that I have complete faith will resolve (hopefully on it's own - without medical intervention). It's creating a few speed bumps, but nothing I can't or won't deal with. Mostly just super frustrating at this point.
As I deal with the current slow downs, I have fallen in love with planting zinnias. How have I missed these beauties all of my life? I am gathering their seed heads for next years garden at an alarming rate, I might not have any grass next year, just so I can enjoy the beauty of the flowers. The butterfly's, bees and hummingbirds are in heaven also. Watching them flit from flower to flower in my massive mess of a flower garden is like a salve to my very soul. If you want any seeds for your own garden, let me know, I will be happy to share the beauty.
The world doesn't seem to be getting calmer, in fact it seems even more self centered and chaotic. It's a place I am actively refusing to allow into my personal bubble. Even when forced to participate in the world, I find myself backing away from most folks. Anger, aggravation and frustration seems to radiate from some people. I would hate to be that mad at life. As I pull back from those people, I am finding more and more friendly, loving and caring people entering my life circle.
People that care about those around them. People that want to take a moment to walk through some of the crazy things that I do. People that don't look at me like I am crazy as I hand them an herbal salve to heal a wound or offer them bounty from my garden. People that are in the same place I am, learning that not everything we've been told is really meant for our best purpose. The ones like myself that are chasing natural solutions to things, that want to heal the planet and our very selves.
Hubs has always said I am a hippie that doesn't do drugs. Many times I questioned if that was a complement or not. All the while knowing that I was the little girl that 100% dreamt of growing up and being part of a commune of people supporting one another. Engulfed in a natural world. He must not mind my crazy because we also somehow managed to celebrate 22 wonderful years together in the past month also!
Here I am starting my sixties allowed to be that person. No, I'm not selling my house and moving to a commune, I'm not that people friendly anymore. Yet, as my graying hair creeps further down my back, tied in a bun during the day and I look in a mirror and realize that I might have actually forgotten how to wear make up, I am more than okay with it. I realize my life is finally what I dreamt. When I slip on the long dresses that I love, slide my feet into my birks and get ready to start the day, I seem to just know I've arrived.
My days are filled with the strangeness that I have forever longed for. I have freedom to create in more ways than I can even begin to acknowledge, yet most of it always benefits others at the same time as it is filling my own spirit with contentment. If I lived in the woods, I'd probably have folks thinking I'm the crazy slightly off lady at the end of the road, but since I actually live in a nice suburban subdivision, I'm just the weirdo that won't poison her lawn and spends hours creating. I can live with either description. I have finally started the life I was always meant to live.
Who wants to settle in with a cup of dandelion tea and discuss gardens, sewing, cooking, herbal remedies and natural solutions, heck the list is endless? One of my sweet friends got me a new teapot for my birthday and I am always ready to make a pot of tea and settle in for a meaningful conversation or activity.
Well, watering is done, the pups want a quick outside break before the heat of the day and it's time to get busy...
much love,
b
Really good one as always! 381+
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