waiting, praying, loving...

The sun is awfully bright this morning, almost blinding as it shines down on my little seat in the bay window.  And yet, I can't bring myself to pull the blinds.  I think I am simply going to let it pour its beauty and energy down on me. 

Our entire family is working on expert level in "chopping wood and carrying water" today.  It's my great nephews birth day, I wish I could send his parents, grandparents and siblings a giant dose of strength.  I was up at about 3 am today, I knew that sleep wouldn't return, I knew I needed to be awake.  My family needs all the love, energy, prayer and anything else for the journey before them. The reason I know they are all doing the same thing... we were all messaging back and forth in the wee hours. 

I can't imagine the strain on his parents and grandparents right now.  I mean I can imagine it, but I am sure even my harshest vision is nothing compared to what they are living.  They are strong.  Holy CRAP are they strong!!  Yet, they are just now starting a waiting game that makes pregnancy seem like nothing, a blink in time. 

I sat very still this morning, I worked on the Christmas gifts for Legend's family.  It allowed me to focus all of my energy and intentions on them, on him. Its where my heart needed to rest today.  As I am waiting to hear further news, which will not be mine to share I am going to continue to focus on them.  I am going to continue to monitor my phone, pour out love and healing prayers and lift them up.  

A few hours ago, I turned ever so slightly and saw the most beautiful sunrise.  Filled with a mixture of fire and calm I felt tears in my eyes.  I am not good at the waiting thing.  I want to be able to fix things, I am a doer. 

I've watched my sister from three hundred miles away, step up, take control of an out of control situation and lead her family through this blessing.  And it is a blessing.  Every child is and Legend even more so.  She has pulled out that stiff upper lip of the British that we have an over abundance of in our family tree, she has envisioned realities and miracles.  I've watched a strength that is unimaginable.  I have only been able to listen and pray.  I hope she knows how very proud I am of her, of her strength under fire while still smiling, laughing and never faltering.  I can't say I would be that strong.  

My heart is with his parents, but right now, it is with my sister most.  As a mom and grandma, I know that she has a double burden.  Because that mama is her baby.  I know the pain of watching my children suffer through things that seem surreal.  I know the feelings of helplessness.  The fact that due to the stupid state of affairs right now she can't even be with her baby.... I have no words. 

Today, I am asking for prayers, for divine guidance and intervention.  For a strength and courage that few mortals can bear and give.  Please take a moment to send prayers, healing energy, positive thoughts and mostly strength.  

love and peace...