Hubs is watching a show, I think, I can hear it. But when I called good morning down the stairs it was dark and there was no reply. He must have gotten up at his usual time, maybe he is trying to sleep a bit more. I would love to sleep a bit more. I am definitely deficit in the sleep department right now.
I was just sitting here with my coffee reflecting a bit on how the things from our youth live on in our memories. I was definitely raised on Romper Room, and there are times that I absolutely cannot get the "Bend and Stretch" song out of my head. I only ever remember the first line, "bend and stretch and reach for the stars there goes Jupiter here comes Mars"... I doubt I have seen the show or heard the song since I was maybe 6, that is fifty years ago. But I can still hear it in my mind.
Usually it is when my mind or body or both are tired it just randomly pops into my head. Talk about incredible programming. It makes me wonder what we have been doing to kids forever and the purpose for it. Raising my babies, I remember singing them nursery rhymes that I had learned as a child. I remember teaching them the words and coming up with silly games to go with them. I have no idea why and as I have gotten older and learned the origin of some of those nursery rhymes... well lets just say some of them stem from very dark places.
I wonder about this effect, the programming being done in what appears to be harmless ways. It isn't all as simple as songs from childhood or nursery rhymes. Although, I also can recite the song I learned to count to ten in German and other little things like that. It's around us everywhere. A popular trivia category is to name the jingles from commercials. How many of us can name a song or movie by a few notes or words?
I know that when I am working on creating something from a pattern not only do I retain muscle memory of the project, but after a few moments of a basic stitch pattern, I no longer need the actual written pattern to complete it.
Our minds are powerful tools, but also seem fairly easy to program is my point. I am personally a questioner. I will question everything. It is hard for me to simply take things at face value without digging deeper into the layers surrounding it. As I said I've even looked into the origin of nursery rhymes. I need proof. I guess it is only natural that I would end up living in the "show-me state". I am that person.
I simply need to understand the reason behind everything. I will never accept something told to me with the expectation that I accept it on blind faith. I am probably not the kind of person that someone trying to program likes. It is possibly the reason that I push back so heard against the television and listening to the radio can cause immense stress.
I need facts, I need proof, I need to see all sides of the subject and understand it deeply before I am willing to make a decision. I think very critically. I struggle with thoughts that are passed off as facts without proof. I think that is one of the reasons our current world is so uncomfortable for me. Why I am questioning even harder.
Oddly enough, there are things such as faith and spirituality that I need zero physical proof of. They simply are. I don't question them, I don't doubt them, I simply treasure and grow in them.
I am fairly positive these are things I came into this life with. Not things that were taught to me. Because my faith and belief system is definitely not the one that they tried to have me learn in Sunday School. I have always questioned traditional religion, while I celebrate and know that God is the core of everything. I also don't ever find God in a pastor's sermon. I find God in nature, in the quiet moments, in my heart and in the natural world that surrounds and encompasses me. I don't find God in doctrine.
I have a deep faith in something that I cannot see with my human eyes. I find calmness in the love and grace I feel surrounding me. I do not ever feel that I am manipulated or controlled, only wrapped in a soft blanket by that faith and love. Probably one of the reasons I struggle.
I feel that there has been an endless cycle of control. I wonder why we accept the narrative that we are born into this wonderful life to simply work, sleep and pay bills. I wonder why we are asked to accept an angry, harsh God. Is it all programming to control a free heart? Is there something beautiful that is just on the other side of the control? Why are we always afraid that we are going to do or say the wrong thing - that we will break our programming? Will we discover the bright, loving, wonderful hearts and souls we all posses? Will we find that with love, kindness and faith we will discover a world free of so much heartbreak, pain and struggle?
Yep, you can definitely tell I am running on far too little sleep and that my mind has been allowed to wander far too much this morning. I am feeling deeply impacted by some of the things going on in our world right now. Maybe not so much on a physical level, although I am really tired of the way prices are literally sky rocketing and people are blindly accepting that as okay, but on a deep emotional and heart level.
I am trying to not let the programming effect me, I am trying to keep looking ahead into the light. Instead I am seeing people being hurt and manipulated and it is making me heart sick. People are really being tested right now. Families are being broken, friendships destroyed. So much is happening. From my quiet seat on the side where I am questioning everything... I feel like I am watching a horror movie play out. I feel like for every question there are no answers, simply more questions.
Definitely time to unplug my brain and do something mindless...
love and peace...
No comments:
Post a Comment