Monday, November 1, 2021

the gift of time...

bbbrrrr... it is a beautiful cold morning.  The fire is warming my toes and breakfast is already in the oven.  Seems like a great way to start off the first day of November! I love Monday mornings like this.  The laundry is tumbling, the kitchen is abused and already tidied, and I've done my exercises for my knee all in the first hour of the day.  

Now it is time for a bit of calm and hot coffee while Hubs is down in his office working.  He is definitely a workaholic, although he will totally not admit it.  He is planning to retire come April when he hits 70, it seems there is a bit of a running bet on whether he will or not.  I'm Switzerland in this battle.  I want him to do what is best for him.  Although, I often tell him that I am afraid he won't know what to do with himself.  He is that guy that gets up, makes his coffee and heads down to work.  It doesn't matter what time it is, that is simply how he starts his day. 

I get it.  I start mine sitting here writing, clearing my head for the day ahead. This quiet time is when I sort things out, I plan, I write in my journal, plan out my calendar and simply sit and watch my fire and think.  In a way I figure that is what he is doing also. I think most folks like to start their day with a clean slate.  Nothing left lingering from the old to do list. 

I can't believe today is starting the last two months of 2021.  In many aspects it has flown past, the kind of fast that you don't want to blink because you will miss it all.  And in so many other ways it has felt like the longest year ever!  So much has changed, reality has shifted dramatically, mental state - holy crap!, and life in general is so very, very different than when I stood in the cold with Hubs at midnight and rang in the new year.  

And so much of it is blurry.  Dates are fading, events seem surreal. I know it has been one of the most life changing, event filled years of my absolute life, but it feels as if all of it was part of my life path and normal.  It is hard to explain. It feels like pieces of my puzzle have been falling into place for this entire year. 

I can remember in early January in a meeting with one of my team when my head was stuffy from wearing my mask all day, I remember looking at him and saying "I'm sure this stuffiness is from wearing this thing" and he replied "yeah, I feel the same exact way".  Ironically, within the week both of us would be out with the virus. Mine rapidly decided to be pneumonia and that was the beginning of all the changes. 

I really feel that was actually the beginning of my world shifting to the better.  If I hadn't gotten sick and slowed down, nothing might have changed. I might still be stuck in a world that wasn't serving me or my family.  I might have never fixed my knee, I actually recall one of my old leaders telling me that I didn't need to fix my knee - I was too young and imagining the damage. I might never have shifted.  

I am pretty stubborn and I don't always realize what is right before my eyes. 


As we are sliding into the home stretch of the year and have landed on what I consider a month of thankfulness and opportunity to be grateful for everything in our lives, I feel this year is far more poignant than most.  So many things have lead me to a place of peace, of gratitude, a feeling of joy and contentment. 

Hubs and I don't have as much money physically flowing in.  Yet ironically we are far wealthier than we've ever been.  For far too long it felt like that darn paycheck was all that mattered.  We'd bought into the story line that was out there for all of us.  Work harder, work longer, make more money, life will be good. 

We fell into the mindset that peace of mind, happiness, and most importantly time weren't important.  Today as I start off my month of gratitude and things for which I am thankful for, I am starting with time. 

Our plans for the weekend ended up going wonky almost from square one.  And while I regret not being able to join my friends for a beautiful picnic at their cabin, I am still thankful for the way the day's fell out. 

There was a time that a weekend like this one would have wiped out me out, I wouldn't have finished all the things that were always crammed into those two little boxes on the calendar - the ones that were designated to live life in. 

Instead, Hubs and I filled the weekend with family time. Friday night we decided to drive up to the Trunk or Treat that our oldest was hosting at her work.  She didn't know we were coming, but her smile and happiness definitely said we made the right choice.  I'm not sure which of them was beaming brighter as she introduced her Dad to her boss for the first time. I'm pretty sure that moment in time rates up there as one of the brightest spots in his life! Everyday we are thankful that she found him, it is such a blessing!

We filled Saturday morning with "life work".  We got groceries, went to the feed store and bought half a cord of wood (I must have my fires), unloaded and stacked the wood and then prepped for the afternoon.  Both girls were supposed to join us for the parade and a chili dinner. As the chili simmered and the fire crackled we wondered if the day would clear up.  

An afternoon filled with a parade (why yes, I was able to walk the entire thing - one of my goals - even tackling the big hill both directions), a bit of quiet time for us and then a late evening dinner and gathering with our kiddos.  It was a pure blessing!

Sunday didn't far much better for plans working out.  We didn't join our friends because we were going to Boo at the Zoo with daughter and grands.  It was such a beautiful day and we spent it relaxing and resting. Hubs even got to engage in a deep, long nap - he definitely needed it. Too late to head to our friends' place, we found out the zoo plans had changed.  






It ended up a beautiful day for a ride up the river road, a stop at our favorite farmers market, a drive through Pere Marquette Park to take in the beautiful autumn colors and finally a stop at the winery to watch the sun set over the river.  It was absolutely fabulous. 



As we didn't have a chance to see the oldest for any of the festivities, she was under the weather on Saturday, we stopped by her house on the way home.  Sitting around the fire, handing out candy and visiting with each other over glasses of yummy apple crisp wine. 

We'd even received a text filled with pictures from the boy on the coast.  Life felt full and good!

Heading home last night, I was struck by how much fun, love and family time we had managed to put into our "two days".  


Because of the changes in my life, because of that precious gift of time we have far more time for the truly wonderful things that make up a rich and fulfilling life.  I am wondering if there aren't a lot of other people out there that are like me.  People that the past eighteen months have taught valuable lessons. 

Everywhere you go you hear about the employee shortage, how it is affecting service, hours of operation, etc.  Ironically, I know many that are applying for jobs like mad, that are not even getting interviews, but that is another topic.  You hear people grumbling about the fact that people are lazy, they don't want to work, they are being selfish and spoiled by all the free money.  

But... maybe it isn't that at all.  

First off, I am not sure where all the free money is as I don't believe a family can live on unemployment - even at full rate. And most if not all states have stopped giving the "additional" that was given out last year to help people survive or to help them thrive while being off work.  I already pointed out that despite all the help wanted signs very few people are actually getting interviews.  

As I am home now, I am noticing something that screams people are being far from lazy, I am noticing a plethora of people starting their own small businesses, parents engaging with their children (playgrounds are filled with laughter and people), yards that sometimes fell messy in the past are practically manicured now.  I am finding neighbors helping neighbors.  I see so many folks working on their own health walking through the neighborhood.

What if... and this is just my silly thoughts... but what if they have also found the gift of time for living a life is far more important than that second paycheck? Could the employee shortage have more to do with the fact that because they were forced to think differently, and they discovered that they would rather do without that second income to focus on the important things in life.  Family and friends.  That the forced time to reconnect to those important things created a need to continue to devote energy and time to those things as the world wakes up?

As I played in the kitchen with my youngest grand-daughter on Saturday I realized that I had missed so much of her first 4 years of life... too busy hustling and chasing that stupid false dream.  I want to continue to pretend to eat soup made from a bucket of sand.  I want to chat with her while she colors me fabulous pictures at the kitchen island and tells me her hopes and dreams. 

Maybe the things that are changing are not bad. Maybe the changes are the world righting itself.  I grew up in a country that closes down between noon and 2 pm on Saturday (depending on the size of the town) and doesn't reopen until Monday morning.  Nothing was 24 hour.  You learned patience and you cherished it.  Families spent time together during that day and a half of nothingness.  Stores closed early.  You learned to plan and make it work for you. 

Is that where we are heading?  Back to a time of home cooked meals, family dinners, evenings spent together not crammed full of chaos?  Weekends that have families taking walks together, planting gardens, creating and playing games?

I hope so. 

The slowing down has gifted us with time... for that I am beyond grateful! 

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