Tuesday, March 12, 2013

I am Belynda and I am Selfish!

I think I might be a selfish person, I hate to admit it, but I think it might be true.  I love the time I get to spend with my family.  And I really enjoy that I don't really have to share it, with anyone but Hubby. And when we get quality time with the kids and grand baby... watch out!

Hubby and I will drop everything for them.  We are both the same, our family is our core.  We spend a great deal of our time together, and honestly I couldn't imagine anything else.  We carpool to work, our offices are down the hall from each other, we have lunch together almost daily, and we spend most of our spare time less than 10 feet from each other.  We have a comfortable relationship, and we truly enjoy each other.  Maybe that is what makes it so easy for us to drop it all.

In the past couple of weeks the stars have aligned for us to have a lot of quality Ava time.  We love Ava time.  She is so different when she is with us, I think it's the magic of being Grandparents. Grandparents get to experience life through their eyes, we get to love having our hearts wrapped around those tiny little fingers, and marvel at the miniature versions of our own child.

And as much as I love being a grandparent, I also love being a parent. I am probably a "too" devoted mom, there simply isn't much I won't do for my children. It means the world to me as they are moving into their places in life they still have time for me. 

My girl is going through some pretty big changes in her life, and as a result, I have gotten to spend some serious time with her lately.  I guess I could be worried or stressed for her, but I watch her and I am so amazingly proud of her strength and the determination that she has when facing life.  I hope some of that she learned from me. 

My boy is too busy for much right now, maybe we will have some time to talk in the next week when things are a bit slower than they are right now.  Or maybe it will simply be the Facebook message that will make me smile or giggle.  The fact that he sends these at such random times, reminds me that he is not so far away and that I sometimes cross his mind at the oddest of times.  While he is taking a break from studying or unwinding while he gets ready to call it a day. 

I am glad that my ex settled so far away, that we never really had to do all of that fussing over who got to enjoy them.  I am selfish after all and I don't like to share. Sharing Ava with Hubby is not the same as sharing, that is simply me and my best friend enjoying our precious princess.  Hubby is always so wonderful at knowing when I need spoil time with my kids. He indulges me shamelessly.  But he always manages to make sure they know he loves them too.

I am okay with being selfish, I really truly am.  Some of the greatest gifts in my life are things I have enjoyed because I am.  I love and cherish my family!