It’s going to be a long, long day. Even if Boss Lady decides to close early today and I don’t have to stay until 9:00 pm. I was up late last night working on notifying everyone that we would open late after talking to the boss. Waiting until I actually spoke with Dan the Snowman, to make sure my lot would be cleared and ready to go this morning.
But that isn’t the thing that ruined my sleep. Something woke me at around 3:30 am this morning and then I got the scare of my life. My old boy sleeps snuggled between Mommy and Daddy each night, we are his pack and he loves to be close. I couldn’t feel him breathing, his fur was cold (he’d wiggled out of the blankets) and his nose felt dry. He wasn’t snoring and even shaking him I could not get a response out of him. I was sure he’d crossed the rainbow bridge. I was devastated! He didn’t even respond to me calling his name. Just then hubby heard me talking and felt me shaking him and moved, that was enough to wake Gator out of a deep, deep sleep. And boy was he mad at me! He doesn't show his grouchy side to me, this morning he sure did!
|Gator surveying all the "white stuff" refusing to leave the deck|
After my pulse slowed and I calmed down, I took Neeko outside, and enjoyed the beauty of a late snowy night for a minute. Got treats for both boys and headed back to bed. Gator is a total chicken treat junky, so I thought it might make him a bit less grouchy at being woken up. No chance, he growled at me and turned his head. Wow! That rarely happens. At least he was still willing to snuggle, even if he was mad.
I tried to go back to sleep, knowing that I am scheduled to work until 9:00 pm tonight; I knew I needed to sleep more than four hours. As I laid there staring out the window at the snow, the more awake I became.
I finally gave up with the intent of writing my blog and maybe going downstairs to work more on assembling my quilt frame. I made a pot of coffee and took a few more pictures of the snow. I love the snow and seeing it all just warmed my heart. I was reveling in the peace and beauty of a fresh snowfall. Somehow, I drifted back to sleep curled up on the sofa, so needless to say I didn’t get any of that done.
|Gator struggling through chest deep snow|
I thought about hanging out at home and having hubby come back and get me, he needed to be at one of the other buildings early today so they could work on a pool lift. I even considered how awesome those extra few hours of sleep would feel, then the darn responsible side of me kicked in. What if one of my staff took advantage of the snow and decided not to come in? What if the roads are bad and I was putting Hubby at risk coming back to pick me up? What if… yep those are definitely the words that were stirring around in my brain. Rattling around making me feel guilty, making me choose the “right thing”.
I am sure that I will put those few extra hours to good use, I have a lot of things going on that need more of my attention and losing yesterday kind of put me behind the eight ball where those things are concerned.
There are still flurries flying around, the beauty of it all is so amazing. I might find time to go for a stroll today to absorb all the beauty. It will be a busy day, full of discussions that I don’t want to have. I am not a huge fan of any form of confrontation, which makes being a supervisor a struggle for me occasionally. My girl is going over to take care of my boys since it will be a long day, and I don’t want them alone that long.
And once again I will spend the day grateful to God for letting Gator stay with us for a little longer. Hubby and I have both agreed that when it is time for him to run to the rainbow bridge we would really be okay if it was peacefully between us while sleeping at night. I am not ready for him to run across, to play and frolic with Fred, Amber and Raja, while they wait for us to get there.
Each time I get frightened and struggle with what I know will ultimately come; I find a bit more peace in it as well. I know when it comes he will go knowing he was loved. Until then, I have a lot more loving and spoiling to do. I have a lifetime of memories and happiness to squeeze into each day, not just with the fur babies, but with the humans that I love so much.