Yesterday I didn't write, I simply couldn't bring myself to write two rants in a week. How depressing! I was struggling heavily with stuff at work, things that made me sad and hurt my heart and with all the crap going on in this once great country. Instead of writing I prayed. Because sometimes that is all you need to set your world back on an even keel.
I can't change our country, I can change how I react to it. There is nothing at this point and time that will change the fact that my medical insurance is rapidly becoming an unusable expense for me. That I am now struggling to find all new doctors, accepting new patients, because of these wonderful new laws and the insurance companies and doctors reactions to it.
There is nothing I can do to change the fact that my dollars are becoming worthless or that my house is costing me more every year due to the FHA insurance that keeps going up to cover others that aren't taking care of business.
I can't change the fact that there are so many stupid things going on. I can't change the fact that people are blind to it unless there is pain. And the pain must be current, not remembered. That is something our current administration knows how to use and use to their advantage. Each time he wants his way, there is pain inflicted, people don't want pain so they do what he wants. It's sad and sickening!
And I can't change it. I am not going to stop fighting against anything that is hurting and enslaving American people, but I am not going to let it rule my heart.
I also can't change some of the things at work. I can only control what I can control. And I am going to focus on that.
What I can control and change is how I react to it. How I move forward in the darkness and how I find the light.
I am making more hats, planning more craft shows, working on several sewing projects for others and getting ready to make some soaps. I am creating new classes at work to engage more people.
I am enjoying the beautiful flowers that my two B's gave me for bosses day! They made me cry!! I mean seriously cry! No one had ever given me so much as a card for bosses day, and those sweet ladies bought me flowers!! I love flowers and I really love the B's! They make the day fun and productive, we are a great team, but not just at work. Those two women are simply amazing, strong, caring, loving and powerful! I treasure them both... They are people that I consider friends first, co-workers second. They made me cry... but they were tears of joy!
Yesterday as I sat at my desk working through the backlog from the week before and looking up at my flowers. I felt the world shifting inside my heart. I started to sort out the can't changes from the can changes. I thought about the little baggie that I moved inside my desk so it didn't get stolen, with little chocolate treats and the note that it was "time to take a break". I thought about the way that small act of kindness made me feel loved and cared about...
We all have a choice in this world. We can be compassionate, caring, loving and productive or we can be victims, takers and greedy. I think I will stay as part of the first group! That is how our country will be ours again.
Thank you B's for once again making me feel grounded and focused. I love you ladies!