the moments...

Feeling a bit like a kid, sitting here early this morning in the glow of the Christmas lights.  Most of the presents are wrapped and resting beneath the tree for the family here at home.  The coast kids have their boxes beneath their tree and the gifts to take south are wrapped and waiting to be loaded in the truck. I still have a few to wrap up, but nothing that cannot be done fairly quickly. I still have a week of time to work. It's all going to come together. 

I was struggling to get into the Christmas spirit this year, there is something so different, something I can't put my finger on.  It all just felt like too much.  Too much work, too much everything. I was chalking it up to the changes of the kids all truly doing their own thing for Christmas.  That isn't it though.  I am happy for them, they are all making their own traditions and memories.  I don't know what was causing the feeling, Maybe it is the fact that I do not spend much time in the public anymore, maybe it is the changes to the way I live and my priorities?

I have no idea.  But sitting here in the beauty of it all, in the calm and peacefulness.  I am happy.  My tree is full of precious memories, there is no rhyme or reason to the way I decorate it.  It is just memories.  Some make me giggle, others might cause a slight mist to come into my eyes.  I love the stories each one holds. 

We didn't put up everything.  I just didn't have the energy for it this year, probably because it is so late in the season.  Maybe next year. 

We had such a busy day yesterday, we hosted Hubs' team for a holiday gathering some lunch and time together away from the craziness that seems to fill our world at the moment.  It was wonderful to have people gathered around the table. I miss that.  I miss gathering with my team.  Laughing and talking.  It was good to be able to do it for his. 

I had planned to gather my friends together for drinks and snacks this season, but time seems to have gotten away from me.  It does that a lot lately.  Maybe I will find a day after the 25th, when the world slows a bit when people have time to simply gather.  We'll see. 

Right now, I simply feel the need to live.  I am not doing great at making plans, I don't really feel that any need to be made.  It is a space where what was is complete and behind me, and what is to come hasn't blossomed yet.  Much like a bulb that has been planted.  Gathering it's energy for the time when mother earth gives the signal that it is time to grow. 

I am fairly sure when I look back on my life many years from now, that I will see this as my time of hibernation.  A time that resets me, that changed me and allowed me to grow in a different direction.  I've had a few of those in my life.  I can remember those times clearly in my misty past, those memories are strong and powerful.  The journey and growth.  

It's time to get busy, I have at least three projects to complete today, not to mention some holiday cookies that I want to make for our trip. 

love and peace...