Wednesday, September 4, 2013

A Coffee toast to Post 200!

Another sunrise, another beautiful day!
I cannot believe this is the 200th blog entry... Wow... I am a little overwhelmed by that.  I am maybe more overwhelmed when I see the places and number of people reading it. 

I wish I could put faces or names to all those reading, but I guess most folks are truly like me.  I am the ghost reading some of my favorite blogs.  I love to dance in the shadows and be the quiet person in the back ground.  It is my natural state and it feels safe and comfortable to me.

I still don't have an answer to the question my cousin asked me when I first started... She'd asked if I was going to be instructional, informational, or simply writing... If I had to guess I would say simply writing. 

I love teaching, my new quilt class will start next week.  I am also working on a few new ideas for the fall and winter months. But I am fairly certain no one is reading this for tutorials, because I don't write them.   Informational... okay that one is a possibility, although I don't think that I am particularly informative.

I am fairly certain, I simply write to write.  It feels good.  I was always that journal writer.  The person that needed to get my thoughts out of my head before they drove me crazy.  My journals got me through some really dark times and some really bright ones.  I still have them all boxed up somewhere.  This blog has helped me focus and is guiding me. 

Granted the path is a bit meandering and exploring.  I have spent a lot of time while we were riding thinking about b'longa'b... The name, the meaning, where it is guiding me to go... I have never written a blurb about me on my blog... about my purpose... I feel I am ready. 

b'longa'b simply put is my exploration into who I am and what I want from my life... simply because it belongs to me (b). 

Sometimes it is about my obsession with creating things.  I need my hands busy, and purposeful.  I think I take that old adage "idle hands are the devils playground" far too close to heart. 

Not only that, but I need to feel like I am doing something creative, I need to know that it will also be useful.  I can paint, I rarely do, simply because I need it to be useful.  I often do not feel that something for decoration is useful.  I understand that it is, but I don't always feel it.  I quilt for something to warm a bed or sofa on a cool night.  I crochet and knit, because of a love of creating something that is needed.  I spin simply for the love of creating my own fibers for the simple beauty and strength.  I garden to feed my family and friends.  I make soaps so that I can eliminate man made chemicals from my life.  If I can't pronounce it I don't want to use it. 

b'longa'b is all those things and yet it is also an exploration into my heart and feelings.  A scooter ride with hubby, a sunrise or sunset, dinner with my kiddo's, texting with my grand baby, staying up late talking with the boy.  Chasing dreams and searching for answers to the past.  Putting all the pieces together like a jig saw puzzle.  It is a chance for me to rationalize the changes and happenings around me, to vent my anger at people that care so little for their fellow man. 
Ummm... Gramma... I think your phone just said you have a text...

It is quite simply.... me... I am a blessed person.  I have many people in my life that I love and cherish.  Not just my immediate family but all of my framily (friends/family) too!  I am a military brat, we create family from the dear people around us, because far too often our own families are too far away.  I have made some of the greatest friends in the world, from all over the world.  There are people that I couldn't imagine my life without.  Correction, I wouldn't imagine my life without... Michelle, Debbie, Betty, Tiffany, Brenda, Maria, Evelyn and John... just to name a few of the wonderful people that have graced my life and decorated it for the better.  None of these people had to become framily, but they all did!

I am blessed.  I won't say my life hasn't had ups, downs, snags, snarls, celebrations and sadness.  It is a normal life.  But thanks to my framily, family and most importantly hubby and kids I feel that I am living a life worth living. I have love, laughter, faith and dreams to help me face the other stuff...

To everyone that reads... thank you!  I feel like my framily circle is a bit bigger even though you are still in the shadows, it's nice to know you are out there, like an invisible support system.

So... here's a coffee toast to post 200... it's sort of overwhelming... it's equally enriching...