Help!! I feel so lost. It's a small box of circuits and microchips... why do I feel so lost? I am not a fan of technology. I claim to simply enjoy it's convenience and the connection. Am I deluding myself?
I won't have a phone for a few more days. And I feel so out of touch! I couldn't call my adorable princess yesterday on her first day of school. She got no text from Gramma wishing her an amazing school year. So many people saw her first day of school picture before I did. It was sad, depressing even. How did my grandparents survive waiting weeks for those pictures to be developed, picked up and mailed? I can't even comprehend this...
Instead of feeling so proud and happy at all the sweet comments on her pictures, I felt left out. Odd... I may have an addiction! I am used to chatting and texting with my girl throughout the day, driving home on Monday nights (she is a night owl, I can usually find her awake) - man I love SYNC! Instead... it was silence.
I also feel like a prisoner, I am mad, suspicious and maybe even paranoid.
Last night in my class, S had her quilt done, she is working on the quilting and putting together her binding. It is amazing! I am unbelievably proud of her and all her hard work and persistence! But I couldn't take a picture. I can't share with you the sweet boats bouncing happily along in the middle with the incredible staggered outer border, or the red with white polka dots that will just make it pop! Hopefully next week, because this one is shot.
I would have had hubby snap the pictures, but he skipped class last night - he's started working out and he was just plain pooped! So he took advantage of working at the Y, and took a steam, sauna and hot tub to relax his worn out muscles and help him unwind.
Today I feel a little less strange not having it here, I don't feel as strongly that my connection to the world is severed... How odd... I remember not even having a phone growing up, it was okay. I talked to people or wrote - brace yourself - letters with real postage and sealed envelopes. Did I have more meaningful conversations when it wasn't so easy? Or do I have stronger relationships now because it is?
Who knows, there doesn't seem to be enough time for me to keep delving into this deeper... before too many days I will have one back. I will have to get more pictures to replace all of the ones I lost. I don't know if all the numbers I loaded when I got my last one are still on their site, seems like that would be too easy.... I will know what is going on in my life - I had finally switched from a paper calendar, might be time to revisit that...
Hopefully today I won't feel so lost and adrift...
b'longa'b simply put is my exploration into who I am and what I want from my life... simply because it belongs to me (b).
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