Saturday, June 22, 2013

Should we stay or should we go?

So Mom... what do you think about the changes?
It’s been an interesting stay here at our place in the country.  We have new neighbors, lots of them.  There are bobcats growling as ground is being cleared, 18 wheelers delivering loads of lumber to the folks building a cabin, trucks pulling in new campers and old ones.  There is a flurry of activity.

The peaceful little cove, where we could hide from the world is altered.  And I am torn as whether it is good or bad. It seems okay.  The ones up the hill from us are a family.  They bought the piece of land by us and the one across the street from them.  There is a father, son and son-in-law, and usually a five year old boy, but he isn’t here this weekend. Hubby met them last night when we went for a drive to toss the trash and fill water jugs (we still haven’t invested in water and sewer – it’s a big step and we want to be sure it is something we truly want to do before we go there), I was so tired from all the allergy medicines that I simply sat in the car and listened.  

The ones below us, the ones building a cabin, we haven’t met them yet.  We’ve been told they are a younger couple.  I am thinking if you are buying a piece of land down in our area you aren’t coming to party, but I guess we will find out.  It still seems very quiet down here. The view is altered, it’s not as wild and rugged looking, but it’s not bad.  Actually looking at all the changes has me thinking. 

Do we keep our little piece of paradise, and make the effort to come down here more?  Or do we part with it?

When we picked it, we envisioned our children loving coming down here, hanging out with us, camping bonding, and quality together time.  As time has moved on, we find that the oldest doesn’t want to drive this far (although it is much closer – 40 minutes – to her new home); the boy that was raised camping and outside does not want anything at all to do with the great outdoors.  And the twins, there is no internet, no phone service and they want nothing at all to do with something like that.  So… it is simply ours.  


I love being down here, I could hide for days. It forces me to focus on the things important to me without all the noise and chaos of everyday life at home.  I am working on a quilt, during past visits I have made tons of socks and sweaters.  Things to fill my world and calm my mind, all while listening to books on CD or talking to hubby and planning dreams. I could move here.  

I worry that hubby gets bored.  He is so into technology that I can sense the pacing before it even happens.  I tried to pick up a movie for him yesterday, that he could watch when he ran out of things to keep him busy, but we’d already seen it and it now needs taken back to the store.  Fail. 

He and the boys have just taken a drive, he was going up to the bath house, and I am enjoying my coffee in complete silence – except for the air conditioner running.  I truly could walk away from it all and stay here forever.  

My favorite of our neighbors lives at the top of the hill on our dead end road.  Kim watches diligently from her little spot.  She and Lucy, her beautiful rescue lab mix, are always on guard, we never have to worry about vandals or anyone damaging our world.   She lives here year round in the most precious little house.  It isn’t huge, but it’s enough. I love it.  She gave me the grand tour last year.  I want one just like it, actually just like it but a fraction bigger, need room for hubby and the boys.  I know where I want the house.  It’s just a bit down the hill from where our camper is now.  Did I mention that I am a bit of a recluse?  I don’t want huge, I don’t want sprawling.  I do want comfortable though. 

The house I envision there is big enough that we aren’t crowded, maybe a split level, I am not a huge fan of stairs.  Open floor plan with a fireplace for the cool months. Probably two or three bedrooms – because who knows someone might finally want to stay here with us, and a couple of bathrooms, room for more than just us, but not a ton of it. A wide wrap around deck, with rocking chairs on it… 

Kim is living my dream, not completely, because I don’t want to be pushing sixty, living completely alone out here. Although I could live alone out here, it’s just not what I want. She works from home, making beautiful jewelry.  I want to be able to live peacefully, doing what makes me happy, supporting myself and having just enough. 

I don’t know if I like the changes here.  I am not a fan of making new friends and being nice.  Considering what I do for a living that is actually quite funny.  But I am slow to warm up.  Slow to want to be part of a group.  I want to study the dynamics and then make my choice.  Hubby is an immediate friend with everyone.  

We have time to make those decisions. We have time to reevaluate our choices.  We own our land and camper free and clear.  Taxes are crazy cheap – I spend more on a dinner out than a year of taxes.  And Kim said once you put a house on it, it’s only $250 or less a year.  The annual fees for the community are less than that.  And the electric out here is very reasonable.  Hmmm…. So much to consider…. Do we plan our dreams out here; do we ultimately put the house in town up for sale and move?  Is the commute worth it? So much to think about… 

Maybe I finally make friends out here.  I could become more social… 

Maybe….