Sunday, June 30, 2013

Your Benefits MAY Include... WHAT??!!??

Just when you think you've seen it all...It kind of makes you wonder what is going on in this country doesn't it?  What kind of lawsuits have happened or have the potential to happen?

As we were leaving I noticed this sign.  No, I am not looking to go to work for another company, but I am a curious person.  And I wanted to see what kind of  benefits they offered...

Hold it, STOP... am I the only one (doubtful) that caught the fact that the sign very clearly says "MAY" include?

So if they hire you... your benefits MAY include...

> Friendly Workplace - okay - guess that is fair, you never can tell the kind of people you will work with, and lets be honest not everyone gets along.  Everyone has a horror co-worker story. No promises there...

> Flexible Hours - again I will go with fair, last time I was hired for a job and told I could have flexible hours... it ended up being flexible for them, even if it meant I barely got 8 hours off between closing and opening shifts, with no bathroom breaks. That was asking them to be too flexible... so seriously... just what do you have to do to be eligible for those flexible hours and who are they flexible for??

> Full Medical Package (including health and dental) - now lets be reasonable here... if you have read about Obamacare, you know exactly how they are going to get around that one, so lets not split hairs here.  And after all they only said you may get those benefits.

> 401K - I can understand that one... most places don't even consider offering those kind of benefits for years... fair enough...

> Competitive Salary - well since this is Illinois, the minimum is already fairly high, so it would seriously depend on who you are competing against. I mean $8.25 is a pretty high minimum and if you are competing against Missouri, you are already well above them.  But that isn't really a living wage... and well you only "may" be eligible for one of the competitive ones...

> Store Merchandise Discount - Okay this one just made me giggle.  Seriously, do you have to work a certain number of hours, or if you have brown hair, or work on Wednesday's?  I just found that funny - because if you are hired by them that "may" be one of your benefits. Does that mean that only certain people get discounts?

Oh I get the fact that some of those may apply to part time or full time employees only.  That is only reasonable.  And I also get that financially speaking a business can't stay in business when all their profit goes to benefits.  But seriously??  I mean realistically, wouldn't it have not appeared so odd, to simply say you offer a benefit package?

Instead, as the woman standing there beside us as I was laughing about the sign said "do you think it's a typo?" No... I think it was intentional.  I think that by adding "MAY" in there, they could showcase the benefits that some in the company will get, and the rest of the people that apply can hope they get... but it makes you wonder what exactly do you have to do to earn those "may include" benefits?  Just how dynamic do you have to be to work in a knock off hardware store where everything is made in either Taiwan, Vietnam or China? And if you are dynamic enough can you get all those benefits??

Yep... only in America... definitely great for a laugh on this rainy, stormy, hail filled day!

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