Skip one, Knit two

Skip, knit, skip, knit... that is how my week is feeling.  Monday was my late night at work and then Tuesday started early and was high stress, needless to say all the ups and downs have me feeling like I am developing a nice little cold and making me want to hide. 

So while I was skipping my blog yesterday I was busy knitting in the car around all the rushing around that we were doing.  So many things were stealing snippets of time here and there.  Here it is Thursday and I feel like I have missed an entire day... blurred right past it.

Heck if my sweater was coming together this quickly I would be finished.

I don't like chaotic days like that, I feel like so much gets left undone, that I can't refocus on what I missed in the process. 

I did start investigating long arm quilting machines yesterday, I am torn. I want one, I feel it would help me get more of my own quilts, and the ones I make for others, finished more quickly.  I also think it would help me get another step closer to finally opening b'longa'b's. 

My challenge is my lack of belief in my own abilities, I am a nervous nellie... I will admit to that in a second.  What if I make the investment, and I just leap too far too fast?  I believe strongly in baby steps.  Once I have proven myself then I am not at all worried about the progress I may or may not make, because I know I can do it. But when it is still out there in the unknown... wow does my nervous factor kick in hard.  I start to doubt myself, and for me fear is paralyzing!

Here is the other part of the challenge, probably the bigger part of the challenge, my Hubby is amazing and he has the utmost belief in me and my abilities to make my dreams come true.  He thinks I should start at the top and not worry about the inbetween.  And while it really gives me encouragement it also helps to paralzye me further... now I have to worry about letting him down... oh my.

Someone once told me Hubby was Texas, always willing to go big and confident in the outcome, if he's Texas what am I?  Rhode Island?  Small and unassuming? 

As of right now, I think I am going to go a bit smaller than he thinks I should, I think I need to start with a mid-arm and frame.  I won't flip out over the investment (I hate to spend money!) and I can cut my teeth on something manageable.  I will take time this weekend to do some more research, to really delve into what it is I am searching to do and where the starting point is that makes me feel the most comfortable. 

For now... I think I am going to skip one and find some time to knit...