Friday, February 8, 2013

Therapy!

What a morning!!!  I have to say that rage is rarely an emotion that I feel.  I am not that kind of person, I am pretty laid back and a come what may kind of gal. This morning about sent me over the edge.  Hubby has to work today, but I am home, after 13 straight days I am completely excited about the productive busy day I have planned ahead of me. 

I am a homemaker, a creator, a nurturer.  That describes me pretty darn well, and when the alarm went off at five, I was ready to tackle this day.  Loved on my fur baby's and let hubby know I was running to the grocery store for some supplies before he left for work. I love to shop early in the morning. I am not a "people person", I don't like crowds and I hate ignorance.  Shopping before 6:00 am usually insures that I don't have to deal with any of that. 

Check one item off the list... at least that was my mind set... what I encountered was surreal!!!  I am still in a bit of a rage about it.  I am not a huge Walmart fan, it attracts the strangest kind of people some times, but Schnucks doesn't always have the range of items I need and as I don't like to shop adding two stores before 6:00 am is not my thing. 

I went in prepared with my shopping list, ready to get it done, get home and start my day.  What I was not prepared for was to walk in the door to complete chaos and ignorance.  In the space of thirty minutes I was bombarded with non-stop "f" bombs, stock people yelling so loudly that it was painful and stressful. The stock team was throwing food, boxes were flying up and down the aisle, and the profanity was unbelievable. 

I completely understand that if you work the night shift by 6:00 am you are most likely getting a bit punchy and ready for your shift to end.  And I am all about people enjoying their jobs.  I personally think laughter and camaraderie is essential to a successful work environment.... that being said... when you work in an environment that is open 24 hours a day it might make sense to be mindful of the fact that you work in a service industry and that the people there shopping are paying your salary.  That they might not want to hear profanity, yelling, and not have to look at your underwear because you think sagging is cool that early in the day. 

I dealt with it as I was in a bit of a time crunch and quickly got finished and headed to the check out lane... Seriously, was this morning never going to end?  I get being friendly, I want friendly people, what I don't want is to stand in a line 15 people long while the only cashier is telling everyone in line her life story. How she is stuck working at Walmart because she has so many student loans, even though she had received enough scholarships to go to college without paying a dime,  but they weren't to any schools that she wanted to go to.  That no one took the time to explain to her that she would have to pay those loans back and now she was going to loose her entire $8,000 income tax return to pay the school back.

Now I am curious... why does this woman think that everyone wants to hear this?  And why do I now know all this information and yet my frozen groceries are now thawing and my cold food is now luke warm.  Why is it anyone else's fault when we make decisions that harm us financially?  And she still hadn't finished ringing in my groceries.  I was in line longer than I was shopping, I even had to chase the lady down that was in front of me to give her the groceries the cashier hadn't bothered to give her.  She was simply too distracted with her problems...

A full hour later trying to leave I have someone run right into me with the auto-scrubber they are using, and instead of simply apologizing Mr. Hat-over-my-eyes-pants-hanging-at-my-knees said "you should watch out, these things are hard to control, but you wouldn't know anything about that".  Excuse me, excuse me???  Actually, sir yes I do know how to operate an auto-scrubber and would  be happy to train you to do so...

Finally out the door, nerves frazzled, stressed and in an absolute rage at the way people act these days how they have no respect for themselves or others I walk straight into a HUGE cigarette smoke cloud from an employee on their break right outside the door.  I live in Illinois, you cannot smoke that close to any public building (see we don't just ban guns here) and even if that wasn't the case, why should I be forced to inhale toxic waste.  I am not anti-cigarette, if you want to smoke, smoke... those are your lungs and you are entitled to make your own decisions about them, but don't take away my rights to breath fresh air.

Goodness... how far away is my car - that is all I can think, how far away... loading my groceries into the back, desperately trying to calm down and realize that sometimes people are just strange, looking at the lightening sky and wondering if I will get to see a beautiful sunrise, hoping to snatch back my previous good day... when the profanity laced greetings and inquiry of  "got any stuff on you, I gotta unwind" break the silence as some of the night crew start leaving...

Wow... just wow... when did this happen to our society?  When did these behaviors become the norm and not the exception?  When did people stop being thankful for having a job and treating their customers as a gift to their business and not an annoyance that is interrupting their lives?  I think I need to start planning my week's better, I think I am going to start shopping only at the small local stores, the ones that are still grateful for my hard earned dollars.

Now I am safely back at home, a couple cups of coffee and a morning spent working on treats for my boys has me feeling much more grounded.  I am now back to center, that horrible feeling of rage is gone.  I am planning to start a loaf of bread and after these 4 pounds of jerky are done for the boys I will make the last 2 pounds of chicken jerky and a huge batch of beef jerky for the two legged babies. I think I have managed to grab this day back.  I will see my daughter and steal my grand daughter for a wonderful fish dinner with our good friends.

I don't think I need therapy, I think I found it.... cooking for my loved ones, and if all else fails a couple hours with fiber will definitely clear the mood!