Sunday, January 4, 2015

Just another ordinary day...

Except for the wind chimes blowing around out front and the faint noise from the bedroom upstairs, it's quiet and dark in the house tonight.

The last two weeks seem to have already drifted away... time is so fluid like that.

I felt like a silly, old fool this morning.  No correction, I felt like a mom that loves her children and didn't know when she would see her youngest again as I squeezed him tight, not wanting that hug to end.  Biting my lip to not let the tears in my eyes run down my face.  It's so hard to let them live their lives, especially so far away.

A morning spent with Grand baby - who discovered an app to "chat with Santa" (they really needed better algorithms - everything was answered with "can you chat" or "Santa doesn't know if he can do that" - even when asking if Rudolph was doing well)  a bit of time together spent learning to make a hat and lunch with the youngest and her guy didn't really make my nerves calmer.

I hate when any of my family is flying anywhere.  Yes, I know it's safer than driving.  It's also far more final than driving should an accident occur.  Very little makes me calm when they are traveling, except the text that says... I'm here, I'm safe. The boy was evidently happy to see his sweetie, end result... he forgot to tell me he was home and okay.  I was a basket case.

Now he's safely home, the youngest and her guy are off living their lives too.  The eldest and the grand baby are tucked away at their home.  And it is quiet.

I'm okay with it.  I never found the energy to do all the stuff I was going to accomplish.  The four hours of sleep (no I wasn't willing to give up time with my kiddo's - as they were both here last night) probably had a lot to do with it.

I managed the basic chores, but it is still Christmas in my house.  I will tackle it later,  tonight I am just too tired.  Does it really hurt?  In between trying to function today I put a few more rows on a sock and fell asleep sitting up too many times to count.

The boy's cat is sitting sullen, she knows he's gone, she's checked.  The pups have searched the house for him too.  I think it's even hard on them, they know, but they do not understand. Their boy should be home...

Tomorrow it's back to work, it's time to face a new year and determine how that path is going to play out. Tonight, it is time for sleep.  Tonight it's simply okay to be thankful for the days we spent as a whole family. Knowing that time and distance does not dampen the love.  Knowing that my sweet girl and my grand baby are right around the corner, and knowing my boy will come visit again.  Knowing that Hubby and I are a great team.  And that my boy has a lady in his life that takes care to treat him good.  I am blessed...