Tuesday, May 7, 2013

The hurrier I go...

Is life passing us by Gator?
I'm sitting here enjoying my first cup of coffee, trying hard to wake up.  I am a bit on the sluggish side today, but then I usually am after my late Monday.  It is going to be a really busy day and I am sort of reluctant to dive in.  Instead I am enjoying the chirping of all the birds that make their nests in my trees and eaves.  Those babies sure do put up a fuss in the mornings waiting for mommies and daddies to provide breakfast.

It's the middle of a short week for me, and so much is going on that I am afraid to look up for fear that it will zip past me in a second.  I took on some new responsibilities at work and while I am actually excited about the possibilities I am hesitant as well.  I already work crazy hours, which is counter productive to my goals with b'longa'b's.  I have to get organized in order to make all these pieces work seamlessly.  That for me is frightening.

I am not organized, at least not to most people's standards.  I can make sense of my insanity, but few others can.  My goal yesterday was to get my pile on my desk down to a reasonable level.  I think I just added a few more pieces to the pile. Not all together sure how that happened. Luckily (?) hubby has to drop me off early, so maybe before the chaos of the day I will have a chance to sort out my work life and get things under control.

I don't know about you, but I have always felt that the busier you are the more you accomplish.  I guess because you simply have to.  Being busy feels good to me, being overwhelmed does not!  I have so many little things all demanding my attention right now, that even sipping a cup of coffee feels like a guilty pleasure. On days like this, I often find myself wondering if I am crazy, if it is a genetic flaw to never be able to say "no" or walk away from a "need to"?  Because I often find my goals in direct conflict with my life....

I am not complaining, I have a rich and full life.  Sometimes I feel overwhelmed and like I cannot possibly keep up with the insanity I have created for myself.  I am thankful for the job that makes me tired with it's demands - it provides for my families needs.  I am thankful for the house that simply refuses to clean itself (when I was a child didn't those fairy tales promise little helper elves?) because I have shelter and a place to rest.  I am thankful for my garden that always needs attention - it provides me with food to nourish my family. I am thankful for the pets that need my attention - as they provide love, companionship and comfort. 

I am thankful for my life.  It is rich and fulfilling, even when it is overwhelming and forces me to learn new skills to keep up with it.  I will slow down on Thursday of this week, a mini-holiday with hubby and then off to my son's graduation.  I am looking forward to a weekend of doing last time fun UIUC stuff with my boy.  I can't wait to take his pictures on the quad and enjoy a Mother's day picnic.  I am excited for what lies ahead just around the corner this week.  I just have to get myself together so that I have time to savor and enjoy it as much as that first cup of coffee.

Now it's time to clean the turtle aquarium and start loading up the car for tonight's quilting class! 

Do you overwhelm yourself also?  I can't be the only one...