Saturday, May 25, 2013

Be Still...

My roses that I planted 10 years ago when I moved here
Shhhh... it's calm and quiet.  For the first time in longer than I can remember I slept until after 8:00 am.  I guess that isn't much of a feat when you consider that I didn't go to bed until after midnight.  But for me, it is amazing.  I guess the exhaustion of the month caught up with me. 

I can't believe I have been so bad about writing this week.  I just ran out of energy and time.  I couldn't keep my eyes open or my brain focused a minute longer. Today's to do list is so long and demanding, my need for calm is stronger. 

I have three days to tackle the crazy, to clean, to garden, to quilt, to visit with family and to complete what I need to do.  For this minute and time, I need to be still.  I need to absorb the quiet, sip my coffee, and just reflect.

Do you ever have those days?  Those moments at the end of a long stretch of busy and crazy when you just want to catch your breath?  I am in need of that.  In the past three weeks, this is my first fairly non-committed day.  In two weeks it is my first non-work day.  During this time I have been struggling to keep up with my house, my family and my life.  I have squeezed in so much in the non-work time, that I am just plain worn out. 

I know that I struggle with balance.  This month has had so many ups and downs, so many strong emotions, so much that is conflicting and powerful.  The struggle between the professional and personal me has been at times exhausting. 

I have felt like the professional side of me has more or less won the battle.  I have struggled with feeling like a negligent mom, wife and sister.  I have been reminded more than once that I am human, and I cannot do all the things that need to be done and when those unfinished things start falling around me like ashes... I feel like a failure. My family is so important to me.  My family is the focus of who I am.  While I enjoy my career, nothing is as important as my family.

Last night, Hubby and I were able to help our girl with a bunch of small things that needed done around her house.  Those little things... hanging stereo's, hanging planters, sealing leaks in duct work, picking out a few final bits for the house, moving it in and tidying the remains of it all.  She has company this weekend, she needed a bit of help. We needed the pleasure of being parents.  The two needs definitely work well together.

Hubby and daughter came up with an amazing plan for her family room.  I am excited to see how it turns out!  When it is all said and done, I will let you guys in on the plan.  They are clever little stinkers!

I need to spend these three days regrouping.  I am going to help hubby get his quilt on the long arm.  I am going to focus on the final graduation activities and family.  I get to give my sister the quilt I made for her son's graduation (and I will finally post finished pictures here). This weekend I get to be me.  I am looking forward to it.

What are you doing this weekend? At some point today hubby, son and I will head back to daughters house. We will spend time with my mom, dad, sister (s) and at least one niece.  And of course my sweet granddaughter.  Yep...  it has all the makings of a great day!