unbusy...

Dappled sunshine has replaced the rain.  The cooler temperatures the breeze brought are a welcome change.  Hard to believe it is this cool in July.  It's definitely a gift.

This downtime is a blessing.  I have to keep reminding myself not to look at work. To stay focused on this sense of "unbusy".  I've needed it.

Unbusy doesn't mean that I am doing nothing.  Not by a long shot.  It means I am choosing what is important in that moment of time.  It means doing things that have meaning or importance to me.

Puttering in my house is not something I have had the luxury of since, well... since we moved in.  Vacations have been spent going or doing.  Weekends are the same.  Squeezing things in.  This is the first time in 5 years that it's simply about being.

After finishing Hubs' anniversary project, I eyed the bag of baby afghans that had been pushed aside.  My precious free time was not calling out to them.  It was more focused on other things.  The joy found in threads sliding through my fingers was not found in those rushed moments.  They had become a chore.

This morning I finished all three.  The crocheting was completed last night while sitting and visiting with Hubs and a friend that had joined us for dinner. It was so calming and relaxing to sit and chat. Listening to Hub's ever present smooth jazz.  Talking about random things in life.  Children, hopes, dreams, the present and the future.  All while watching more dark clouds roll in.  Waiting to wash away any negative energies that arose.

 Even though this person had a background in the same career, we carefully avoided the topic.  The awkward avoidance was simply caused by the deliberate attempt to not move into that area.  The chance to remember what it was like to have conversations that didn't go there was refreshing.  It was like going to a strange new land and enjoying what was found there. Definitely a habit that needs to continue.

This morning with fresh eyes it was time to weave in loose ends, my least favorite part of any project.  Searching through my tote did not yield the needle I was in search of, so I bravely wandered up to my sewing/creating room.  That requires a deep breath, it is full to the brim and desperately needs attention.

Just not today.

As I pulled out random bags of yarn projects I found what I was looking for.  Still threaded with a bit of yarn from whatever project I had finished last.  Turning to leave, one of the small bags caught my attention, I've really been enjoying needle crafts lately.  For months now my fingers have yearned for one of my first loves.  Probably why I have been finishing so many cross stitch projects that had been gathering dust.

There in the owl bag was a small tablecloth that I had started back in 2002.  It's German, I remember buying it in the small craft store on a small back street during one of the last trips I made to Mainz with a dear friend that has long since passed away.  She was such a blessing to this world. We shared many passions and I think of her often.  Ironically, she is one of the few friends I had from my previous life that ever met my sweet Hubs.  It's been sitting in the bag, untouched for far too long.

I carried it back down with me to work on after finishing those blankets.  It was definitely tempting to avoid doing the job I hated and start again on the tablecloth. I feel quite proud of myself, those blankets are completely finished.  Soft, pretty and destined for some sweet little newborns.  I can officially say they are done.

Only then did I start to finish the final rose stems.  There were only a few still remaining.  It's now time to start the roses.  I really want to finish some of my huge number of unfinished projects.  I want to experience that joyful feeling of completion.

I will take breaks, my eyes need the rest, as do my fingers.  I cannot wait to see it on my beautiful antique table with my Polish pottery sitting in the middle of it. I do intend to savor the journey as much as the finished project.  With the needle gently moving through the fabric I do get lost in my thoughts and the stillness.  It is like therapy.

I think my soul has needed this break from the normal.  I needed to remember what the art of unbusy is, and that it is truly okay to say no.  To take naps, to savor my coffee and relax.  It's a powerful feeling.