frustration...

Stupid knee.

Started aching last week again.  So much for feeling confident that it was behind me.

Yesterday it decided to do that balloon act. Swelling from the knee all the way to the toes. So uncharacteristically I went to the docs.  I am not a fan, I was/am terribly busy, and frankly I felt like no good could ever come of it.

Well, as I have been sitting her looking at my toes all day.  Following directions (I know, be shocked, we all know I don't listen to doctors - much less follow directions) leg elevated above my heart, did all the tests - gotta admit the one tech concerned me a bit, I am simply waiting for results.

The doc doesn't want me on it at all, I even suggested crutches, she suggested - NO.  She nicely informed me the amount of swelling in my leg was a pretty good indicator that I was pushing it well past it's limits. It was FINE last week, I was even bragging to the hubs that it was looking so good, hadn't swollen at all in months, almost no pain, able to bend it...

I am at a loss right now.  I simply don't have time for this. Besides, I'm bored.

I know, those aren't two words I usually use.

But usually someone isn't telling me that for my own good I need to just sit still, keep my leg elevated and rest it.

Oh I have projects I could be working on.

I have almost completed all the work I can do from home on my little Chromebook.  Some things I need the stuff at work to complete. The folks I work with have been incredible with helping me by scanning stuff and answering my questions, now I am running out of things I can do without documentation and access to stuff not stored in my memory.

I didn't anticipate being stuck sitting for 5 days when I left work.  Seems this is a very busy time for quality, recommended Orthopedists.  Top it off with the fact that evidently even they get sick.  Now I could get a same day with the Ortho that tried to kill Hubs last year... ummm pretty sure I will pass on that one. So I won't be getting a return to work early form.  In fact if it is a full joint effusion (which was my fear to begin with and evidently is not off of the working list) I can't even get it taken care of until Monday.

I'm pretty sure once I stop pouting I will be much happier.  But right now, I feel I should be able to have some cheese and crackers with my pity party. Maybe even some nice olives. And I would be totally remiss if I left out a nice sweet wine (I truly detest dry wine).  Instead I will sip on my water, forgot to chill the wine or buy cheese and crackers (they weren't on the menu that I was so proud of preparing) and pout.

I need to clean my house, iron my laundry and still take down Christmas.  The winter dust is gathering and I didn't get out to purchase my son a birthday card.  Instead, I'm sitting here basking in the multi-colored glow of Christmas cheer, watch the dust bunnies breeding in the cold winter sunshine, luckily the laundry is upstairs instead of mocking me.

I'm still in that I can't decide phase on projects, so honestly I don't want to work on anything that is handy and "needle ready" (and trust me there is a lot).  My book is up stairs, and I don't feel like climbing them for something that is going to make me sleepy.

On the plus side, sitting like this is helping. The swelling is much better when there is no weight baring anything on it.  The fiery pain is greatly reduced and my toes almost look normal. So I guess I shouldn't be whining.

I want that doc to call me with the x-ray results.  The tech concerned me, he asked me about a dozen times if I had ever broken my leg, if I was sure I hadn't fallen, was I positive my leg had never been damaged. I am not sure how many times you have to reassure someone that you would definitely remember something like that.

Well... I am just going to sit here and wait... maybe drift to sleep for a minute or two... tomorrow will be better.


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