Yesterday walking the boys in the late afternoon, I saw the dandelions.
I almost picked them. I almost did.
For years Hubs and I have been picking them carefully from non-treated fields. They were a favorite treat of our little lizard Yuri.
At the grocery earlier in the day I noticed the kale was particularly crispy and deep green. As I reach to pick up a batch Hubs halted my hand. Reminding me that Yuri was gone. I was buying it for us, but it definitely crossed my mind that he would love it.
There are so many times lately that I feel like I live in "almost land".
Looking at the delicate blades of spring grass. I almost reached out and ran my fingers through it. It was too delicate to be touched, so I pulled back. Longing to feel it's soft, tender newness.
The buds are popping everywhere. I feel an overwhelming need to wander for hours in the beauty!
Instead... I find myself eating a late slightly well done dinner at my sitting desk, it was probably fabulous a few hours ago, but at least I am able to eat a home cooked dinner. I sure wasn't expecting to be home so late. I managed to miss being able to eat every meal with Hubs today.
He let me sleep in until almost too late this morning, he knows the time change plays havoc with me. Rushing around like a crazed woman I got his pants ironed (nope, never got to all of my weekend chores), made him a smoothie for the road and managed to get a kiss before pushing my own day into high gear.
The boys and I took a leisurely (is there any other kind where Gator is involved?) stroll. It was foggy, damp and basically the perfect spring morning! I could have spent the day out there, wandering slowly with them. The smell of the earth waking up after it's winter slumber really changes my perspective.
Sadly, it wasn't meant to be. Meetings filled the day. I'd packed a wonderful lunch, that I was looking forward to sharing with my sweet Hubs. Needing just a scrap of time with him. My meeting ran late, almost straight into the next, Hubs meeting ran late which led me to handing him his lunch in the stairwell.
Dinner... knew that wasn't going to happen. I made it for him in the crock-pot. It's not the same when you eat alone in a quiet house, instead of spending the time with your loved one.
I'm almost ready to go to sleep, but I wanted a few minutes. I want to wake my sweet Hubs, I want to have time to chat with him, laugh and snuggle. Seems like there is less and less time for that. I'm not okay with it.
I don't want a day to come where I almost do something for him only to realize that it's too late. I don't want to regret those missed lunches and dinners.
I don't want to feel like I almost did...