Are you talking to me?

Prepping for syrup

I am wondering if someone is trying to give me a hint.  Every day I see so many things about change.  Quotes seem to fill my inbox, my email and even the pen that I received from retreat.  I have felt stuck this entire year.  Not moving forward, not moving backward, just stuck.  It's been an odd and uncomfortable feeling.  Feeling stagnant.

If you don't like where you are today, change something and make tomorrow look different - Dave Ramsey

 Good advice Dave, but what are you really trying to tell me?  I am being prayerful, I am being reflective, my eyes have been open and my heart has been strong and faithful.  I am evidently also simply being blind.

I am fairly sure that learning to make a lotion bar from dandelions or trying a violet syrup is not what my life needs. I simply don't know what I am looking for, but I know I need it.

Getting ready to dry for some lotion bars

Or maybe it is simply that there is so much uncertainty around me, that my natural cautious nature is in over drive.  I am a person that needs to know that points a, b, and c all line up and that I can see them.  I do okay with change, heck I am a military brat at my very core.  I just don't do so well with surprises and uncertainty.

I like to know where I am headed.  Good, bad or indifferent.  For me this is a serious struggle.  I am surrounded by people and groups that thrive in secrecy.  Is this what is making life such a struggle for me?  Is this what is causing this stagnant, dull feeling?

Is it F.E.A.R?  That causes the nightmares?  I have woken up with some really strange nightmares for weeks now.  Maybe they aren't nightmares, maybe they are just some of the darn strangest dreams I can remember having.

Who knows... I sure don't.  I hate uncertainty, and that is where I feel like I am, drifting in uncertainty.  I wish there were an auto focus on life, like on my camera.  There isn't.

Be the change you want to see in the world - Gandhi

What is that change?  Hubby and I went out to look for the meteor shower this morning, looking up into that clear crisp sky I felt tiny and insignificant. The reality is, in this big universe I am.  In my universe, I am searching just as hard for an answer as I was for the meteor shower this morning.

One lonely star or planet, but not a single meteor to be seen...

Well, answers are hiding.  So I will simply continue to make my lotion bars, knit, stitch and grow,

try new adventures and keep my eyes open... who knows what is waiting... who knows...