Friday, February 28, 2014

They've got it!

Beautiful... but I still don't want to see it at 4
Why does 4:00 am even have to be a time on my clock?  I am fairly positive that when my work day ends at 8:00 pm I am not going to be loving this.  It seems that every time I have to close I end up awake crazy early.  I think my internal clock might need reset.

I am fairly certain that I am not a helicopter mom after all.  Oh I might worry obsessively, and I might "need" for my kids to either call or text me on a regular basis to feel okay with the world.  Last night, sitting in a meeting for the youngest of the twins (called by their mother) I realized that I am actually a fairly hands off mom. 

The girls are 18, the oldest of the two often goes on trips to other states with her friends, skiing, sight seeing, simply doing whatever she wants. No one ever invites us to a meeting about this, or really lets us know until we see it on Facebook for that matter.  The youngest, not so much.  Her first true foray into adulthood is a trip that she and originally three of her closest friends are planning for spring break.

Some of it seemed like normal concerns, truly it did... Insuring they had enough money for gas and expenses for the week. A bit of concern about three, one of the four had to drop out, young ladies traveling for almost thirteen hours.  Other things were simply mind boggling! 

Yes I want a text to know you have arrived, a call would definitely make me happier. But I can honestly say that asking for a call or text every half hour is a bit much.  I wonder if the older twin is going to have the same requirement as she is going with someone's family?

These girls are not flighty or prone to doing stupid things.  And they are 18, I get that the federal government has now decided that being 26 means you are still a child and able to be on mom and dad's insurance, but truthfully, it wasn't that long ago that 18 meant you were a "full grown adult", responsible for your own life, income, family, home etc.  Heck, used to be at that point you were an old maid if you weren't already married and had children by that point. You know putting you out to pasture. Heck at 18 you are old enough to fight and die for your country, even if you can't have an alcoholic drink.

I understand worrying about your child.  And if these girls had selected Daytona Beach or were known to throw or attend wild parties, well then there might be a bit more cause for concern.  These young ladies are simply not like that.

In fact listening to them speaking, when the adults weren't it was easy to understand why I didn't feel fearful.  They were talking about things like insuring they had requested off work for the week, debating on which car to take based on the reliability factor and gas mileage.  They had done their home work.
Seriously the one in pink, is such a party animal... NOT!
They knew the mileage, they knew the mpg of car they had selected, they were the ones that said "okay can we talk about money" when the parents had wandered off into "stranger danger" and appropriate clothing to wear into a bathroom.  They were the ones that could not understand the fixation with there being four girls, as opposed to the now three.   These young women had it all thought through.  They'd even been forward thinking enough to reserve a spring break campsite months ago to insure they had a spot.

I actually cringed inside when Dad offered to use some of his vacation and go down with them.  I watched three bright eyed young women appear crushed, while three mom's looked very triumphant.  I knew it was out of love, and I am so glad he knew it was not a good idea. They need to grow, they didn't need an old man chaperone. And when you are 18 and planning your first adult getaway,   61 year old Dad, is just that an OLD man.  Not to mention a serious bath of cold water on your dreams.

I am proud of our youngest daughter and her friends.  One I know well, she's gone on many adventures with us or our oldest daughter, the other I met for the first time last night.  I only had a few questions going in, the biggest being why single out this child when the other was also going on a trip.  It seemed discriminatory to me. 

I figured that out last night.  By sitting back and watching.  The youngest is the most mature, she is a young woman, she is planning out her life and her break out from being a child.  It's uncomfortable when you are a controlling parent to watch, I am sure. I am blessed as the "step parent", I get to love and watch her and I am not really allowed to have a say in things so my view is less tainted.

In two weeks the girls will head off on their first grown up, grand adventure!  I will worry about idiots on the road while they are, wait for the first pictures and I will say a few extra prayers.  I am not worried about three young women that are chasing their dreams.  Wanting to take that last big break before graduation and a head long plunge into adulthood. Wanting to spend a week lounging in their bikini's with their toes in the sand, sipping sodas and watching the cute guys. 
 
This girl... she's got this!
 It's a rite of passage...