It was a beautiful day yesterday, high 50's into the 60's after the brutal cold of late, it was far more than welcomed. We had decided to spend the day out in the sunshine, cruising around, taking advantage of the rare welcome treat. Such a great gift. Wind on our faces, sunshine in our eyes, the breeze gentle inviting us to whisk away our stress to the sounds of our Harley.
We started the day running a quick errand, then off to the funeral service for a dear friend of Hubby's mother-in-law. It was beautiful and everything I do not want when it's my time. I want a celebration of my life, I want laughter, and beauty. And I certainly do not want to be laid out looking nothing like myself because my essence will no longer be there. Jeannie C Riley has a song... "Sing Me No Sad Songs"... I hope my family will always remember that.
After a morning and early afternoon spent in a beautiful Lutheran Church and a sun drenched cemetery I was completely ready to ride. And we did for a couple of wondrous hours, calming, centering, enjoyable! Definitely what I needed.
I was a bit quiet, I was wrapped in my own mood. Sometimes I get that way. I was struggling with missing my kids, my perception that maybe Hubby wasn't listening to my needs (when maybe I wasn't hearing his?) I was just in a mood. It was dark and sullen.
Watching the clouds roll in promised me an even darker day, or maybe not. Hubby and I were going to head straight to the store on the bike... one stop, etc... we didn't. It was getting darker, my left arm was hurting too much to manage getting back on the bike another time, so we headed home. Let the boys enjoy a few minutes of the beautiful day and then off for supplies.
My girl has been wanting "mom's lasagna", she didn't tell me until too late last weekend, so I was not able to get it made. Last week at work was overwhelming, it happens.
Her excitement at knowing I was making it was all the motivation I needed. I had spent the early morning tidying my house, doing laundry and making beds, I was definitely in home making mode. Probably why I was missing my kids.
Once we got home, Hubby laid down to take a nap. Me? I broke out my George Straight collection and started cooking. Listening to the old tunes that I love so much I started on pans of lasagne, the recipe is the same one I have used since I was in seventh grade, learned to make it in Home Ec. Definitely not going to help anyone with the math on that. While pots bubbled, meat browned and cheeses melded together for that wonderful taste and flavor, I was singing along (yes off key and out of tune) to songs that filled my heart with joy and centered me.
As George begged the lady to give him back his Chair, I started layering. Each layer drew me into a realm that I thrive in. With each layer I felt more at peace. As I put the final touches on the third pan, grating the Parmesan fresh so that the flavor wasn't muted, I was ready to start on the dessert. For some reason I am drawn to the old tastes and flavors. Things that comforted me as a child, still comfort me. I have a cookbook with the recipes from the 40's, at times it is a challenge to follow, after all we are all so spoiled with how recipes are written today, but it is worth the struggle. I made a couple of pineapple upside down cakes. One for us, one for my girl.
I wish that my sweet son was not so far, I would love to send him a good home cooked meal. I am still trying to sort that one out.
I love being a home maker, I love taking care of my family. It is who and what I am.
Upside down cakes in the oven, lasagna wrapped and ready for delivery, or the freezer in our case. I cut up a few packages of chicken for my boys. Treats for the week.
|Aren't the colors so beautiful against the Polish Pottery Plate?|
The smile on my girl's face, the hug that was out of this world... it made that 45 minute drive each way worth it. I felt complete, whole, I felt needed. For me that is critical to my being.
Today, didn't go as planned either. My fibro has been making itself known for a bit now, and evidently there was a fee to be paid for that joy, the sudden temperature drop didn't make it any better. I had promised a couple of haircuts, instead... I am still sitting in my comfy chair, exhausted to the point that moving isn't happening, me and my old dog and I took a long nap, I did a bit of knitting, mostly I have just sat and enjoyed Sherlock Season 3 with Hubby (so glad son convinced us to watch!). It's okay, it happens. It didn't help me achieve my plans, but knowing tomorrow starts a 13 day stretch complete with longer hours on the weekend, I decided I should listen to what my body was saying.
I've chatted with my boy, hugged my girls and had a great couple of days with Hubby and the boys... maybe it wasn't such a bad way to spend the weekend after all...