The hills a bit higher in the distance, loomed higher than usual due to the fog, the few homes very evident had the trails of steam rising from their chimney pipes. And it looked like that was all there was to the world. It reminded me of times where I have lived in far more remote areas. Germany where the villages are single and distinct, not running into one another in a solid flow of humanity, the tiny mountain villages in Colorado and even Washington. To me it was mystical and calm. I didn't want to drive past. I wanted to savor being lost in the quiet my imagination running wild.Sadly, the light turned green and it was time to return to reality. I love my career path, I enjoy greatly what I do, but some days are more exhausting than others. Yesterday was simply one of those days. I'd had to go in unexpectedly early, as the person that was manager in charge before me called in sick. They didn't think to ask anyone, including me for coverage, so I simply went in and covered it. I don't do well with people taking advantage. It's mentally exhausting. People don't realize sometimes that the simplest act of asking someone to do something changes it completely from an expectation to a request. The end result would be the same, but it wouldn't be mentally defeating. People truly do want to be good to one another, they just want to be appreciated and not taken for granted. At least that is my personal belief.
I fear that small act set a negative tone for the day. It wasn't a huge issue and it allowed me to deal with things that had been unloved during my vacation. But the mental slap was hard to shake.
The day continued in a awkward and trying way to the point the beauty and calmness of the morning faded to a non-event. I'd almost forgotten about it. My desire to record the powerful effect of the beauty almost lost to a day of disappointments. I didn't write when I came home. I needed time to process the day. Too many times lately I feel that I am dealing with insanity that at some point should have been addressed by the parents during formative years. And the things that people assume are okay, are well, exhausting.
Last night, I gave up. I finished my evening by completing a disciplinary action form, even the wonderful dinner my sweet Hubs had waiting when I came in the door a full hour after I had planned didn't lift me out of my doldrums. It was only 3 days into the new year. And I was already dealing with stupid. So by 9 pm I'd misted my pillows and face with rose water it calms and centers me. I curled up with my old dog, puppy snuggles are the greatest cure for a rotten day. And fell fast asleep.
Today is another day, it isn't as cold out, so I am sure the drive in won't have the same magic, the mystic vision will have faded to houses and apartments placed close together with very little actual human interaction. It's a chance to start fresh. It's another new beginning. My favorite meme lately is "you'll feel better after you have slept, it's the human equivalent of have you tried turning it off and on again". That is basically a true fact.
I had the time to have breakfast with Hubs, he remembered I said I had an early start and made us a fabulous breakfast complete with lots of hot coffee. It may seem trivial, but it sure beat a yogurt and granola bar munched in the middle of chaos, peaceful and enjoyable, complete with time for conversation. Lunch is even packed. I am ready to be successful today. I've had time for a reset.
There is much to be done today, but I am going to find myself some magic. It might be in someones smile, a child's laugh, the clouds opening to sunshine, the possibility of snow, or maybe the gathering of a wonderful group of people and friends to celebrate someone's decision to broaden their sense of the world and travel. I am going to find something that will enlighten my life and bring me joy. Which should be an interesting search due to the fact that I will be immersed in budget spreads and all sorts of end of the year final stuff...
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