On Wednesday a dear friend gifted me with a candle set, transitions, and a calendar of positive thoughts, she knows me too well. She understands where I am going.
As I sat here stitching for the past hour or so on a gift that I need to complete, I was reflecting. It's been relative silence, Hubs is down in the man cave watching who knows what, I can hear the sound drifting up the stairs, but not really enough to hear it. Although earlier I am fairly positive I was reliving my teen years hearing Boogie Wonderland loud and clear. Hubs and I have different needs for starting the day. I want quiet, reflection, hot coffee and a gradual start. He needs sound and lots of it.
I am not someone that does well with massive stimulation to my brain, ever and definitely not early. But we have adjusted and become in tune to what the other needs over the years. He knows that I will retreat from chaos and over stimulation. That I do not need to be surrounded by people or activity. He rarely subjects me to either. Of course work mornings can be a challenge as we are both trying to occupy the same spaces with our different needs, we do find a way to compromise.
I'm ready for some transitions. I think that is evident from the changes I am making. I am studying ways to calm, ways to center and focus. I am learning more about me, who I am on the most basic of levels and what I need to be happiest.
I have taken several personality tests over the years. I am usually not surprised, they never change. I am an INFP (Introversion, Intuiting, Feeling and Perception) - or according to Myers-Briggs "the Mediator". This could explain so many of the interesting challenges I seem to find myself in. I can't even argue with the results, although I would like to. I am not sure all of those things are great characteristics, but they are me. Oddly it is one of the rarer combinations. I'm not odd, just rare? No that does not make it feel better.
Those things are just some mumbo jumbo that makes me realize I am not crazy when I become overwhelmed as I did last night. Hubs and I had a great day out riding on the motorcycle in the afternoon, those days rarely pop up like yesterday. I thrive riding behind him, mostly lost in thought, taking in the view, my mind processing things that are eclectic and random. Pondering things I see, ideas that are prompted by something untouchable. The sound is a bit much for me, because I want to be able to lean over and share ideas with him without yelling. I know he loves it loud, I don't know if his damaged hearing can tell how very loud it is. But I have found ways to adjust. Isn't that what life is about? Adjusting to people and things so that we can all live and be together harmoniously?
After our ride he was simply craving his favorite spaghetti, nope, not a spaghetti fan or Italian food for that matter, but I know he loves it and I can always find something to enjoy. Initially it was nice. The music was a bit too loud and I was still a bit over stimulated from the night before. Yet we were able to chat and enjoy one another.
By the time we left the volume was insane, conversation could not even remotely happen, the music was louder and the increasingly louder room had me completely frazzled. I crave a place to go out to eat that is not going to cost me a fortune that isn't going to overwhelm me with kiddo's running, yelling and misbehaving while Mom's and Dad's enjoy each other's company and ignore their little ones. But that is just my crankiness and shouldn't impact their ability to enjoy one another.
I think the part of it all that brought me the most joy, was leaving. Leaving and being married to an incredible man that understood how very overwhelming it all was to me. The silence upon walking out the door was so powerful. It felt like a giant calming blanket. It allowed us to slip back into that comfortable place we usually live.
Heading home, we stopped and day dreamed about a car that I truly enjoy. I am cheap and won't buy it, but it is fun and I enjoyed peeking in windows and day dreaming. I've always loved the VW Beetle, no it is not practical, or a top seller - evidently - this is the last year they will make it. They definitely fit the person I am. So we laughed and did some window shopping, they were closed for the evening so I could have peace while dreaming.
I think Hubs realized the evening had taxed me a bit too much though, because as soon as we came home he created a cozy area just for me. A steaming hot bath, soft music and LOTS of candles. He knew I was past my ability to absorb any more. He respected that and he made me a safe hygge spot to recover in.
Just when I think he really thinks I might be nuts, he reminds me that he has taken the time to truly know me. Know what makes me tick and he listens. We are not always on the same page, sometimes life gets tangled up and we get cross or insensitive to the other's needs. And then poof, we are back in sync.
It's time to get this time of transition started. There are decorations to remove, chores to do, work to do - last weeks changes altered my plans a bit, we will attend the memorial service for one of our neighbors who passed far too young, barely older than me. And then there is more work as I help another team transition to a different place. I think I will have to draw on some of those personality skills to survive this day.
I hope your transitions go smooth. And you cherish your journey.
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