Monday, January 14, 2019

making time...

I love the brightness that comes with a fresh snowfall.  Even when the moon doesn't seem to be shining due to cloud cover, it is bright and clear.  I think I stood for almost an hour last night looking down at the hills behind my house. Normally you can't see anything. There is no contrast.

Last night the trees were pitch black against the bright white background, I could see the deer strolling around, foraging for food in the deep snow.  It as breathtakingly beautiful.  I wish I could have gotten a picture, but just like sunrises, it's so hard to get a good night shot with a cell phone and I didn't have my good camera upstairs.

I got lost in the beauty.

It felt like the perfect ending to a busy and rewarding kind of day. I didn't get everything done that I am behind on, I guess I am further behind than I thought.  Who am I kidding?  I've been behind for almost 4 years, I'm not further behind I'm hopelessly behind. But it was a rewarding day just the same.

The upstairs carpets were cleaned, most of it was dusted (I avoided the sewing room - that will take weeks!) and bathrooms were scrubbed, I succeeded at getting most of the Christmas decorations down and boxed up for the coming year.  It will all happen, just didn't happen over the weekend.

I am not going to say I even managed to clean out one full closet, I didn't.  The laundry is all caught up - that in itself is a miracle.  Hubs is constantly trying to get me to agree to letting someone come once a week and do that, nope - the very idea does not sit well with me.  In the process I filled 2 big bags of things that either no longer fit, haven't been worn in at least a year or simply weren't great ideas when purchased. I'd cleaned out the pantry two weekends ago and had an assortment of household goods to add to the mix. Over the course of this week, I want to go through winter coats, we have so many and it's time for donations to happen.  People can definitely use warm coats when the temperatures drop so low.

We took a quick run to Savers and donated the full trunk of clothes and household items.  I wasn't finished cleaning things out, but needed a break.  It felt good to get it out of the house.  And FYI a Beetle has a much larger trunk than one would expect.  Especially when you take the cover for your convertible out.  That is something we will not be needing for a bit, so much snow and temperatures expecting to drop into the single digits.  I'll take the trunk space right now.

I like to donate to Savers because they support the veterans.  I'm not a huge fan of Goodwill, they like to donate to their CEO's pocketbook and there isn't a Salvation Army near me, that I am aware of.  As I clean out the house, I will donate more and will probably share the wealth a bit.  St. Vincent's is also good, but they were closed.

I keep thinking I should join one of those groups that cleans out so much a day.  I think about it and then I realize that one - I am not a joiner and groups are not in my comfort zone, and two - if I had time to do that, I would already be doing it.  So I don't.  Shoot I don't really have the time for this.

Sitting here in the silence, surrounded by my plants, soft candlelight and the magnificent darkness out the bay window.  And day dreaming while I am typing.  I don't have time.  I do have things to work on.  I've come to the conclusion that all work and no "play" is making me an unbalanced person. This does not work for me at all.

Nope... not going out.
I have a ton of things that are work related that I could be using this silent time to complete, things that need the silence for me to focus on, I just can't right now. I don't want to delve into that world for a few moments.

I even made the decision to pack my lunch this week.  I might need to schedule it on my calendar to insure it gets eaten.  I may even go sit my little car and read a book, but I am definitely going to find a break in the middle of the day.

I am learning to make time again, I'm slowly stepping back from being immersed in the rat race.  I wonder if there is a 12 step process, if there isn't there should be.  I am not the only person who is living a non-balanced life.  Not even close.

It's all about the small steps.

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